Chapter 60: Man. Angst. Slippery Jonathan, health issues for Clary. SHe's had it with all of the drama… I don't think Jace is going to be down with her "solution".
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mention of drugs, abuse, non-con. Remember the rating is MA.
I do not own any of the characters, only the illustrious Cassandra Clare owns them. I do, however, own this particular story, so please don't be lame and copy/paste it elsewhere.
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Previously: "Listen carefully, you fucking monster. This baby is not yours. This child is mine, you got that? You forfeited any right to this child when you fucking drugged and raped my body and mind… when you took my choice, you goddamn twisted pervert. I will never forgive you. Ever."
One Week Later.
Maryse sighed and passed the tissue box to Jace, as he plucked a few, folding them gently in Clary's hand. Clary sniffed and wiped her frustrated tears away. This is such bullshit. I'm so sick of him getting away with everything. "I don't understand, Maryse– He violated the protection order, put his hands on me, and was probably going to take me away again and you won't press charges? He's going to walk? He's probably who tased Aaron for Christ's sake!" Maryse looked down and nodded, avoiding Clary's eyes. "Yes, Clary. I– I wish it weren't true. Jonathan Morgenstern is the new official ambassador of Idris' government and, as such, has diplomatic immunity from prosecution in the United States. Unless Idris wishes to prosecute him for the crimes he committed or will commit against you, he is free and clear. The law is hard, but it is the law, sweetie. I hate it, but our hands are tied." Fuck the law.
Alec scoffed angrily and walked behind Clary and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them in comfort. "We're here for you, Clare. We'll protect you." Clary placed her hand on top of Alec's and shook her head. "How, Alec? He'll never stop… and apparently he can't be prosecuted." Clary's shoulders shook as she cried into her tissue. Jace stood up, pacing the office furiously, shaking his head and clenching his fists. Maryse watched Jace as he wandered the office. "My only advice is to ramp up your security, Clary… and hope he goes back to Idris. Don't get me wrong. If something happens, we will arrest him every single time, we just won't be able to hold him very long or press charges."
Clary abruptly stood up and walked to the door on shaky legs. Jace followed closely behind her. She turned back and sighed. "The thing is, Maryse. He will never return to Idris without me. He truly believes that I belong to him… especially now that I'm pregnant. He figured out that the baby's his. The only way my baby or I will ever be safe from him is if he is in prison where he belongs or in the goddamn ground." Maryse sucked her lips into her mouth and pointedly looked at Jace. He looked back at her and hummed. He walked up to Clary and helped her slip on her cardigan. He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Clary, I have to stay and discuss things with the Commissioner. We're going to have a call with Will… Alec will walk you out, sweetheart. I will see you later at home. Remember to eat something and drink enough water." Clary nodded numbly and walked out to the elevators with Alec.
After hugging Alec goodbye, Clary stepped onto the elevator and pressed the lobby button and started to cry again. I'm so sick of being so weak. I feel like I'm starting to lose it again. She pulled out her phone and called her therapist's office. She had already seen Camille this week, but was feeling nearly hysterical. I'm so fucking stressed out. She had recently started hypnotherapy with Camille, to try and process her trauma. It had been helping recently, but the pregnancy and Jonathan popping back into her life was… a lot. Camille had some very radical ideas about how to address Jonathan and the pregnancy. Now that Jon knows he's the father, things are different. Fuck. After she made her appointment for later in the day, she leaned against the wall of the elevator and ran her hand through her thick hair, waiting to get to the lobby. I can't take this. Diplomatic Immunity? What the actual fuck? She felt lightheaded and nauseous. I think I skipped lunch. Clary turned away from the doors, sighed and stepped to the back of the elevator, digging in her bag for a snack. The elevator slowed and stopped, the doors opening, and she heard someone board. Small black spots started to fill her vision and her ears rang as another wave of nausea overtook her. I have to get out of here. I need fresh air.
The elevator began moving again and she whimpered and bent over, placing her hands on her knees, her heart pounding, panting. Her ears continued to ring, as she thought she heard someone calling her name. Stumbling forward and gasping for air, she felt herself scooped up into someone's arms. I'm having a panic attack… breathe… help. "Breathe, love. Slowly in… slowly out, Clarissa. I've got you." Clary hummed at the voice. Familiar male voice… she blinked, her vision swimming as waves of nausea and dizziness tormented her. She pressed her cheek against the man's chest and gripped his jacket in her fists, gasping for air. "You need fresh air, Clarissa… almost to the lobby. Emil, we have an emergency, have the car ready when the doors open…" Emil? No… Jonathan. Clary pulled her face away from the man's chest and looked up into the deep black worried eyes of Jonathan Morgenstern. No. No– He kissed her forehead and hugged her against him. "That's right, look at me Clarissa. You're safe… I'm here, love." He hoisted her up higher in his arms and shot through the elevator doors as soon as they opened. Clary opened her mouth to scream for help, but grunted in pain as a terrible cramp shot through her abdomen. She cried out in pain, clutching her stomach. "The baby… Jon. My baby… I need Aline– my doctor. Please." Clary lifted her head, whimpering in pain as Jonathan slid into the back of a limo, with her on his lap. Jonathan laid his hand on her stomach, rubbing it back and forth, kissing her temple. "Of course, Clarissa. I'll take care of you and our baby. Don't worry, love." Clary's ears started ringing again as spots overtook her vision, and she passed out.
Clary opened her eyes to a dark, dimly lit room, surrounded by several fluffy pillows and covered by soft sheets and blankets. She heard a fast paced swishing sound and rhythmic beeps. Am I in the hospital? That's my baby's heartbeat. Realization set in as she remembered her panic attack in the elevator at the precinct… and Jonathan picking her up. Gasping, she sat up and looked around. She was in what seemed like a hospital room, but had nicer furniture and luxurious linens. Where the fuck am I? She ran her hands over her stomach under the covers and felt an elastic belt with a hard disk, low on her abdomen. Is my baby okay? Looking over she saw a hospital monitor, alight with her vitals, as well as an IV pole and bag. Fluids ran into her hand through an IV, covered with tape. I'm not in pain anymore. I need Aline. Jace… Clary looked around for a call light, hoping to get help. Nothing. Where is my phone? Fuck this. I'm getting out of here. Clary pulled the covers back, revealing a soft, cotton purple nightgown. Not a hospital gown. She swung her legs over the side of the bed to get up when a stern familiar voice made her jump. "Stay in bed, Clarissa. Doctor's orders, love." Jonathan. He was sitting across her room in a large chair. I didn't notice him there. He stood up and walked towards her with a serious look on his face. Trembling, Clary covered her stomach with her hands and slowly pulled her legs back into the bed. He hummed and raked his eyes up and down her body, lingering on her chest and bare legs. Watching him warily, she put her palms out towards him in warning.
He stopped, smirking at her as if he thought she was cute. "Stay back, Jonathan. I want to talk to— where's my doctor? Where am I? I want Jace." Jonathan's smile dissolved and he quickly closed the distance between them, grasping the edge of her blankets, and pulling them back over her. Clary gasped and recoiled from him, scooting high up in the bed. Jonathan sighed impatiently. "Clarissa, please don't tussle the fetal heart monitor so much. You and our baby are being monitored." Clary's heart began to pound and the monitors started beeping faster. Monitored? For what? Sitting on the edge of her bed, he hummed, pulled his phone from his back pocket and texted someone. Clary lashed her hand forward and slapped his phone from his hand, sending it rolling to the end of her bed. "Tell me where the fuck I am, Jonathan! Or I'm going to start screaming!" Fuck it.
Clary tried to get out of the bed again, screaming for help as Jonathan's eyes widened. He put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back down against the pillows, reaching behind her. "Clarissa– stop! Here, this is the call light… Please calm down." Shaking, Clary grabbed the device and pressed the call button. "Get off of my bed. Don't touch me, Jonathan. Get out of my room." Jonathan shook his head at her. "That's not going to happen, love. I have a right to be here, as our baby's father. But I will move back over here." He walked over to his chair across the room and sat. Clary jumped and swung her head to the door when she saw Aline and a nurse walk in together. The nurse walked over and opened the curtains, revealing a bright sunny sky. Aline looked nervously at Jonathan, then back to her. Finally, now I can get out of here and go home.
Clary started to get out of bed, when Aline hurried to her bedside. "No Clary, honey. I need you to stay in bed. We need to talk." Oh shit. Clary nodded, tearing up. "What happened, Aline. Where the fuck am I. Why is he here… where's Jace?" Aline sat on the edge of Clary's bed and wrapped her arms around her. Clary hugged her back and started to sniffle. Clary saw the nurse checking her monitors and IV pump. Aline rubbed her back and pulled back, her eyes watery. "First, honey. Your belongings are in the side table, including your phone. I called Jace and he is on his way right now." Clary saw Jonathan stiffen behind Aline. "You're at a private specialty maternity facility… kind of a high-brow version of my clinic, if you will. It was actually closer than mine, so it saved a lot of time. You're lucky Jonathan was there. He called me en route and I met him here. You've only been here for about three hours, okay?" This is Jonathan's doing, then. He couldn't possibly just take me to the goddam hospital. Elitist prick. "Clary, it sounds like you had a panic attack on the elevator at the police precinct. Apparently, Jonathan was on the elevator with you when it happened. He said you complained of abdominal pain and lost consciousness. He immediately brought you here and I was able to examine you and run tests. You had some bleeding, Clary and the results indicated–" Aline's eyes widened and she stood up frowning, her hands on her hips.
Clary swung her head towards the door when Jace came running in the room, with Alec and Magnus close behind. Bleeding? The boys surrounded her bed, as Clary reached her arms up to Jace. She started sobbing as he wrapped his arms around her, murmuring comforts into her ear and kissing her lips. Bleeding. Standing up, he looked down at her worriedly. "Baby, I got here as soon as I could. I'm so sorry it took so long. My phone was on my desk. I– what the fuck are you doing here, Morgenstern?" Clary gasped. Jace launched across the room as Jonathan stood up, waiting for him. "I will fucking end you, Morgenstern!" Jace and Jonathan grappled and punched wildly at each other as Alec and Magnus quickly jumped in and separated them. Jace pulled against Alec, trying to get to Jonathan as he stood calmly, not fighting Magnus' hold on him. All four men snapped their heads towards a tall blonde woman, after she slapped her files down on Clary's side table. "All of you, get the fuck out of here now, while I speak to my patient and her doctor. In the hall… go!" She cut her eyes to Jace and Jonathan. "Especially you two that claim to love Clary so much. Out." Everyone filed out, mumbling apologies to Clary and Aline. Camille Bellecourt, Clary's psychiatrist, smiled softly at Clary and Aline. "I'm sorry I'm late, Aline. Clary, I thought you might need me here. Aline called me. I hope that's okay." Clary wiped her tears away and nodded.
In the waiting room, Alec sat down and handed Jace a cup of coffee, looking past his best friend to Magnus. They had a silent conversation, both agreeing to stick close to Jace, who glared murderously at Jonathan. I want him dead. "Why the fuck are you still here, Morgenstern? Leave before I arrest your psychotic ass…"
Jonathan calmly sat across the waiting room from Jace, Alec, and Magnus, flipping through a travel magazine. He raised his eyes, locking them with Jace's. "Easy peasy, Herondale. Even you should be able to figure it out. Clarissa is carrying my child. I have every right to be here, unlike you. I need to ensure they are both safe… where were you, by the way, when Clarissa needed you? She could have been seriously hurt, all alone in the elevator. We're lucky I came along. You're not taking very good care of her…" Jace clenched his jaw. He's fucking right. I should have escorted her down to the lobby. She had been so stressed… I hate him.
Jonathan closed the magazine and looked at his nails. "Also, Morgenstern Industries owns this facility. So of course, I would have Clarissa and my child cared for here… as for arresting me, I've done nothing illegal. So, good luck with that. Although, I am feeling slightly harassed and you also physically assaulted me… so maybe I should have you arrested." Jace growled and started to stand when Alec grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling him back into his seat. Aline cleared her throat at the entrance to the waiting room, with her hands on her hips, standing next to Camille. "Okay. Jace and Jonathan. Both of you have been requested by Clary. No fighting guys. I mean it. If you can't behave, you can't go in. Got it? Clary has to come before your– anyway." Jace and Jonathan glared at each other, then nodded.
Clary leaned back on her pillows sipping a mug of broth with oyster crackers. She looked up when Jace, Camille, and Aline entered, followed by Jonathan. She quickly looked over at Camille who nodded at her and smiled. Jace took the chair next to her bed and Jonathan returned to his chair across the room. Clary saw Jace's eyes follow his movements, until he sat. This is going to be so hard for him. Clary reached out and set her broth down on her table and took hands. "Jace, baby. I asked Jonathan to be here for this because I know he'll just find out anyway… in the way you and I know he's capable of. I just don't have the energy to fight it right now and I need your support. Okay?" Jace squeezed her hands gently and leaned forward, kissing her lips, then kissing them again. "Of course, Clary. You know I would do anything for you. I love you, baby. Whatever you want." Clary heard Jonathan sigh heavily. She flicked her eyes at him, then back to Jace. She nodded to Aline.
Aline walked to the monitor beside Clary's bed and changed the screen to a blown-up image of an ultrasound. "Okay, everyone. As I told Clary, when she arrived I performed an examination and several tests. She was dehydrated and her blood sugar was quite low. She told me she had a rough morning and didn't eat or drink very well." Aline looked pointedly at Jonathan and Jace. "She was bleeding, but not a terrible amount. The bleeding, thankfully, has diminished over the past few hours. The baby is fine and so is Clary… for now." Jace swallowed and sat next to her on the bed, gathering her in his arms. Jonathan stood up and walked closer to Aline, looking at the monitor, then at Clary, looking worried. Aline pointed to a spot on the ultrasound. "Right here is an area of concern. It's called a subchorionic hematoma. It's a blood clot that can cause complications… even miscarriage. I believe this one will diminish on its own. So, she needs to stay here, in this facility for a few more days. I'll stop in each day to check on her and evaluate for change. She's not on bedrest, per say, more of an activity restriction. She needs her rest, Jace. She's been too stressed out lately. She can get up and take short walks, but nothing vigorous, no lifting, no stairs until I see marked improvement. I think this will resolve in a few weeks, with adherence to the restrictions and monitoring. That also means pelvic rest… no intercourse for two weeks. I haven't liked her blood pressure and anxiety issues. So, I've prescribed a mild BP med, as well as anti-anxiety for the duration of her pregnancy. I don't want this happening again. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
Jace looked at Aline, blinking and nodding his head vigorously. "Of course, Aline. Thank you so much for being here and taking care of my fiancé and our baby." Aline nodded, leaned down to hug Clary and left the room, taking Camille with her. Jace looked at Clary and held her face in his hands, his eyes watering. Leaning forward he kissed her again. Clary pulled Jace close to her face and whispered in his ear. He stiffened and whispered back at her and they argued for a few seconds until Jace nodded and kissed her again. He stood up and turned, glaring at Jonathan, who returned his gaze. "I will be right outside, Clary… and I'm calling Aaron to set up security while you're here."
Jonathan watched Herondale leave the room and looked at Clary curiously. She sat up and tried to move her pillows behind her and one started to fall on the floor. Jonathan quickly caught it and walked up to her. Clary watched him warily, reaching her hand out for the pillow. Jonathan sighed. "Don't be silly, Clarissa. Here… lean forward." Clary rolled her eyes and leaned forward. Jonathan snuck a look down the front of her nightgown, as he slipped the pillow behind her head. Her breasts are bigger… nice. Jonathan sat down in Jace's chair next to Clary's bed and looked her over. She looked stunning. Her thick crimson curls swirled around her bare shoulders and her green eyes flashed as she looked at him intently. My beautiful Clarissa… pregnant with our child. He reached to take her hand and she jerked it out of his reach. "No Jonathan. You don't get to touch me. I asked to speak with you alone… it– it was Camille's idea. We've talked a lot about… the situation in my sessions. She's given me a lot to think about–" Clary looked up when the nurse came in and walked up to her monitors. Jesus. Can we ever be alone? I miss her so much. Jonathan sat quietly and watched the nurse discreetly lift the blanket to remove the fetal heart monitor and belt from around Clary's abdomen. Clary politely answered the nurse's questions and accepted a large Styrofoam cup of ice water and pills, swallowing them. As the nurse unhooked her from the IV fluids, Jonathan peeked at Clary's bare stomach. He longed to reach over and run his palm over her silken skin and feel the growing bump, where his child was growing… longed to strip Clary of that nightgown and hold her naked against him. It can't be over… I won't let it be. She can't marry him. She's my wife, annulment or not. Jonathan's eyes widened when he realized the nurse had left and Clary had cleared her throat. He looked up to her face. Clarissa. She looked back at him and swallowed. She's afraid of me.
"Jonathan, I want you to listen carefully. Camille has helped me process the– traumas you inflicted on me… you and Valentine. You drugged me, lied and manipulated me, abused and terrorized me, imprisoned me… tried to brain wash me… raped me… Amatis. And you got me pregnant… against my will. By ordering Dr. Pontmercy to remove my IUD, unbeknownst to me, you took my choice away from me– another rape, Jonathan." Rape? But you're mine… why doesn't she get that? Play along for now. Don't upset her. "Jonathan, I never wanted to be a mother so young. I haven't even graduated from college yet. Don't misunderstand me, I love my baby more than anything." Jonathan looked down at his hands, a lump forming in his throat. She was right. One of things I love about her is her talent and educational pursuits. He swallowed and looked back at her, opening his mouth to speak. Once I have her back in Idris, I'll let her do something with that. Clary shook her head and put her hand up. "I'm still speaking. Don't you remember when we first met and we talked about my plans to finish at NYU after I returned from Idris? You took that from me too. I thought you were my friend… I really liked you. Then after I broke up with Jace, I was ready to let you be more. But all of that was a lie from the beginning. You even orchestrated that night with Carrie by drugging him, Jonathan… or should I say, Sebastian." Jonathan inhaled sharply and stiffened at her use of his other name. Stay calm. Don't let him out. "Don't call me that name, Clarissa– please… I don't want him here. Please." I hate him. He ruins everything.
Clary lowered her head and nodded, her voice shaking. "See, you destroyed any chance we ever could have had together on Halloween night, when you became him and drugged me… hurt me. I now believe you couldn't help it… You're sick… have a mental condition. Anyway, everything from then on was a lie… which hurts so badly, Jon, because I think I could have loved you once. But now all I feel around you is fear, sorrow, distrust, and I think I hate you now. I've only hated one person in my life and you are just like him. You're just like Valentine, Jon. You've treated me the way he treated my mother. Don't you get that?" Jonathan felt like he'd been gutted. He gasped and looked at Clary in shock. I'm not like him… I wouldn't… "Clarissa, please. Don't be cruel… he was. I hated him so much. I'm not him. Please, love. Please… forgive me. I wish I could go back and change everything. I would have never hurt you– I would have stopped him." Jonathan leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Clary's waist, burying his face against her stomach, sniffling. Why can't she understand that I love her? We need to be a family.
He felt her stiffen, then lay a shaking hand on his head, petting him slowly. "What can I do to help you heal, Clarissa? I need to be a good father, not like him… let me prove myself. I love you… I love our baby." Clary put her hand under his chin and lifted his face up to look at her. My god. Please. Her beautiful, kind emerald eyes glistened with tears. Her brows furrowed in confusion and she ran her eyes over his face. I want to kiss her so badly… be inside of her. Lift her from this bed and fly back to Idris… he can't have them. Mine. Her melodic voice brought him back. "You can get help, Jonathan. Therapy." That's it? No problem. He tightened his arms around her waist, hugging her again, then pulled back and sat on the side of her bed. She scooted back a bit and pulled her blankets up.
Clary took a shaky breath and looked up at him, her face hardening. "I mean it, Jon. You have to have individual therapy and you and I have to see Camille together, once a week." Jonathan's eyes widened and Clary nodded angrily. "Yes. You heard me right. Together, once a week. It was Camille's idea. Look, I know you have that fucking diplomatic immunity bullshit and we can't prosecute you for the myriad of crimes you have committed against me. They were horrible, unspeakable crimes and you deserve to fucking rot in prison for them. You need to understand that." Fuck she's hot when she's mad. I'm not sorry for anything except Sebastian, Clarissa. He ruins things… I can make you see that you belong to me. Jonathan pretended to be ashamed and lowered his head, nodding. "Why are you doing this, Clarissa? I don't deserve it…" He slowly looked up at her. Her eyes teared up again. She's so tender.
"Because, Jon. I'm a realist. I know you'll just keep coming after me, especially after my baby comes. I talked to Maia yesterday, I already know that you filed a petition for legitimation, to assert your intention to be the baby's legal father. I can't contest that. You are the baby's father." She ran her hands through her hair, pulling it up into a messy bun and clipping it. Jonathan watched her every move hungrily. "It's also because of that stupid fake-family portrait at Morgenstern Manor… I'm sure you remember that day in the state room when we talked–" Jonathan cleared his throat. "When we made love, Clarissa. I think that may have been when we conceived. It was so magical-"
Clary growled and slapped his face. Jonathan raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, rubbing his cheek. She's so violent lately. I like these pregnancy hormones. "Stop it, Jonathan! Don't fucking talk to me about any of that. Ever. It was also before you and Pontmercy tried to mind fuck me. Look, my point is I refuse to live like my mother did, buried in fear and secrets, lying to my child. I hated how that felt. She shouldn't have done that to me. If you're going to be a part of the baby's life, you have to clean your mind up. Be a man that deserves to be his or her father, Jon. Be who the Morgensterns are supposed to be. So, therapy it is… and stop fighting with Jace. He and I are getting married… you need to make your peace with that. If you refuse… I will not cooperate with you regarding the baby. I will contest everything you try to do and you will never see me in person again… only lawyers." Jonathan clenched his jaw and looked down. Never. I can't fathom that...
Clary shifted on the bed and took a drink of her ice water. "Okay. That's it for now. I can't deal with you anymore today. Camille's office will call you with time slots for our therapy. Remember to get your own therapist too… Now please go. This has been a terrible, draining day– oh my god!" Clary gasped and pulled her blankets down, uncovering her tiny belly. Oh fuck. "What's the matter, Clarissa? Are you okay? Are you in pain?" She didn't answer and splayed a hand across her belly. "Oh my god. I think the baby just k-kicked me…wow. I'm only fourteen weeks..." Jonathan stared at her, silently begging, and she looked back at him with her lips pursed, in contemplation. She quickly grabbed his hand and held it to her belly. Jonathan gasped and grinned at Clary when he felt a tiny thump under his palm. It was the single most beautiful moment of his life. My child. He swallowed down the lump forming in his throat and cleared his throat. Standing up, he stepped back from the bed, shoving his hands in his pockets, while Clary covered herself back up. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "So, are we clear on everything, Jonathan?" He nodded. "Yes, Clarissa. Th– thank you for…" He looked down at her belly and smiled. "Thank you for everything. I understand everything that I have to do now. Goodnight, Clarissa." She smiled tightly at him and nodded as he turned to walk out. I know exactly what has to happen… it's not quite what you envisioned, though my love.
Clary's smile faded from her face as Jonathan left the room. She angrily watched his back as he closed the door behind him. Fucking psycho. I know he was just giving me lip service. Jace quickly walked in and rushed over to her. "That took quite a while, Clary. Are you okay? Did he upset you?" Clary smiled and let Jace kiss her and crawl onto the bed next to her. "I'm fine, baby. I have everything under control. I've got a plan that I just set in motion, that has to be played carefully, if we're going to get rid of him, Jace." Jace raised his eyebrows and stared at her in shock. Clary reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. Jace moaned into her mouth, returning her kisses. "Trust me, baby. I'll tell you everything Maia and I planned. I need you to stay with me tonight, Jace. Hold me while I sleep... okay?" Jace hummed and nodded happily. He pulled his shirt over his head and cuddled next to her, laying his hand on her stomach. He jumped when he felt a tiny thump under his hand and Clary giggled. "Say hi to our baby, Jace..." Jace laughed and leaned down to kiss her belly. "I love you so much, Clary. Both of you." Clary snuggled against him as he spooned against her, stroking her stomach. "I love you too, Jace."