Cover Art: Cruz7808

Check my profile for any polls. Review, point out mistakes, and flame.

Check me out on other sites like Quotev, Archive, DeviantArt, and Wattpad! Same username for all!

S2E20: Everything Old is New Again

"Get that Mutt away from me!" Blake snarled as she hid on top of Ruby's bunk.

"Mutt? How could you call Zwei a mutt? He's the cutest thing ever!" Weiss yelled.

"He slobbered all over my books!" Blake yelled back.

"Oh please, his slobber probably made your books cleaner." Yang said.

Blake glared at the smirking blonde with killing intent.

"Where's Ruby, this is her monster so it should be her problem not mine!" Blake yelled.

"Arf!"

"Shut up!"

"Calm down Blake, Jesus." Yang said testing out the curse word she learned from Red vs Blue season one, it came out very awkwardly.

"Why am I surprised that the one thing you took away from that awful show was its curse words." Weiss said sarcastically.

"Well to answer your question Blake." Yang said ignoring Weiss's question. "Ruby is in the school armory with Nora, something about sticky grenades."

"I thought she would be with Coco." Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Wait! You're mad at me for saying curse words from the show but Ruby goes off to make bombs! and it's totally fine?" Yang yelled.

The three continued to yell at each other while Zwei, the little demon dog he is, continued to eat Blake's books.

Team JNPR's Room at the same moment.

"Nora… please, we can test the grenades later." Jaune said, holding his hands up. "Ren, help me out here."

"Nora… No pancakes for a week if you detonate that grenade in here." Ren said cautiously.

"But me and Ruby worked so hard on it! Besides, this is just a prototype." Nora said.

"So don't detonate it here! Where's Ruby?" Jaune asked.

Nora sighed and put the grenade away. "She's trying to find Coco, she wants to show Coco the turret."

"Did she take a picture?" Jaune asked.

"No, why do you think it's taken so long to get everyone and start the next season? She's getting Coco to watch it." Nora explained.

"Speaking of which." Pyrrha said. "Can we go ahead and get the rest of team RWBY in here? I'm excited to watch the next season."

"You know, if you want to hang out we don't have to watch the show. I know you don't like it but-" Jaune started.

"No I kind of like it, let's get Team RWBY." Pyrrha said. Jaune smiled and got up.

A few minutes later everyone but Ruby and Coco were sitting in team JNPR's room with the show loaded up. The door opened a few minutes later.

"Hey…" Ruby said sadly.

"What's wrong Ruby?" Yang asked.

"Coco couldn't come, she's out shopping with Velvet. She said she's interested but has no time to watch a show. But Velvet did give me one of her camera's so I can take pictures." Ruby said, holding up Velvet's camera.

"Oh, well ok we can just watch the show alone." Yang said as Ruby sat down next to her. "Jaune, can you start the episode?"

"Red Vs Blue Season 2" appeared on the screen before the intro music started playing.

"Oh this again huh." Weiss muttered.

The season intro played like usual except this time when it showed Red team Donut was pink.

"Oh look, the intro changed." Pyrrha pointed out.

"Yeah Donut is pink!" Nora yelled.

"I think you mean Lightish Red." Weiss muttered sarcastically.

The intro continued to play.

Ruby and Nora hummed along to the theme and Ruby seemed to be trying to remember the words.

The intro played as usual except this time when the camera showed Blue Command he was named Vic.

"That guy's name is Vic?" Nora asked.

"Wonder why he is gray in the intro but is yellow in the show." Blake said.

"Hmm, dunno." Yang said.

After that the intro played with nothing different. When it ended "Everything Old is New Again" appeared on the screen.

Doc: "Come in Blue Command, come in."

"Ohh new character." Yang muttered.

Camera fades out to black, then in on a panning view to the right over Blood Gulch

Doc: "This is Medical Officer DuFresne. I have reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read?"

"Medical officer? Wonder why they need him." Nora asked.

"Tex?" Pyrrha guessed.

Camera fades out to black, then in on a daylight view of the moon, slowly panning down

Vic: "(the audio equivalent of pixelated) Yes dude, hello, can you read me, hello, check one, check two."

Doc: "Say again, Blue Command. I do not read."

Vic: "(still pixelated audio effect) Check two. Is this thing on? Hello, hello."

Camera continues to pan down, revealing DuFresne, in purple armor

Doc: "Blue Command. Please boost your transmission to match communication protocol, Echo, Bravo, -"

Vic: (bouncy happy music in background from here on out) "Yo I hear you, calm down dude, what's going on? Hello, yo, can you hear me, hello."

"Is this a new guy? That's definitely not the same guy from Blue Command." Nora said. "Right?"

"No, this one is way more annoying." Weiss said.

Doc: "Uh, roger that Command."

Vic: "Sorry 'bout that, I was in the elevator, this thing doesn't work so well in there. What's going on dude?"

Doc: "Roger tha… uh… is this Blue Command?"

"Didn't he call them?" Nora asked.

"Yes." Ren replied.

Vic: "Oh yeah, man, sure, totally! What's goin' on?"

Doc: "You're sure, the Blue Command base."

Vic: "Hey dude. Take it easy . You called me, I didn't call you."

Doc: "Naw, I know, it's just…"

Vic: "It's just what, dude?"

Doc: "Never mind. I'm just letting you know that I've reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. I'm gonna make contact with the Blue Squad members."

Vic: "Blood Gulch, huh? Alright, let me look here, let me see what it says… Blood Gulch, bleu bleaou bee ehl, bluoea here we go, Blood Gulch, okay. Says here, you wanna make contact with Private Tucker, ask him about their wounded, dude."

"He kind of sounds like dad but with a higher pitched voice." Yang commented.

"Yeah… same voice actor?" Ruby asked. "Do you think dad from the other dimension or whatever is doing two voices?"

"Maybe, dad always did like the sound of his own voice, what was that podcast he wanted to do with Qrow? The Drunk Tank?" Yang asked.

"Yeah, but then he got a mission or something." Ruby said laughing. "Wounded dude? Church?"

"What about Tex?" Jaune asked.

"He said dude." Blake said.

"Either way, he's a little late for both." Pyrrha said to some laughter.

Doc: "Roger that, any other orders?"

Vic: "Anything else, yeah okay, yeah, it says here whatever you do don't- oh. Okay never mind dude, I'm not supposed to read you that part, okay, just uh… you'll be okay, just uh be very careful. That's all."

"Suspicious." Ren muttered.

Doc: "Great."

Vic: "Alright then. Well it's our goal here at Blue Base to provide excellent customer service, and I hope that I have done that today. Uh, if you have any further questions about this radio

transmission, you can just um, you know call back, say "Dude, I've got some questions, what's goin' on." Over and out."

Doc: "Okay… Private Tucker…"

Cut to the blue guys on the blue base… funny how that works

Tucker: "Hey Church, we have a problem."

Church in Lopez but cobalt again: "I am not your mother, so don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn't like."

"How did he get a new body? I thought he died?" Nora said.

"Have you not been paying attention?" Weiss asked.

"Church is in the robot Lopez's body, they probably painted him and fixed the voice." Ren answered.

Tucker: "I'm telling you, he's crazy. He keeps threatening me, and talking in a scary voice."

Caboose: "No I didn't."

Tucker: "Oh, so you're saying you didn't threaten to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?"

"Woah, O'Malley is affecting him." Yang said.

Caboose: "You know, I think you're taking my words a little out of context."

Tucker: "What? What context?"

Doc is running up behind Church

Church: "Listen guys, this competition thing has got to stop, okay? I thought we'd established by now…"

Doc: "Excuse me."

Church: "Hey pal? One second, okay? I'm in the middle of something here. Ah lo-Look, I thought we'd established by now, I don't like either of you, okay? So competing for my attention is not gonna do ya any good."

Doc: "Excuse me."

Church: "Okay. Yes. Hello. Who're you?"

Caboose "(scary voice - this is O'Malley): Don't ever be alone."

"Woah." Ruby muttered.

Tucker: "He's doing that thing again…"

Doc: "My name's DuFresne… uh, are you Private Tucker?"

Church: "No, I am not Private Tucker. My name is Church. This is Private Tucker."

Tucker: "Yo!"

Church: "And our friend over there in regulation blue? That's Caboose. Or, O'Malley, or whatever the hell he's callin' himself."

Caboose: "Why did you introduce me second?"

Tucker: "Because he hates you."

Camera reveals two tombstones behind DuFresne

"Two graves? Did they finally Bury Church and Tex?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, Church getting a new body probably meant he could force them to." Jaune said.

"Or he did it himself." Yang added.

"Burying yourself? That must be awful." Weiss said.

Doc: "I received your call for a Medic."

Caboose: "Medic… That was like three months ago."

Tucker: "Yeah what'd you do, crawl all the way here?"

Doc: "I came as quickly as I could. Where's the patient?"

Church: "Well, she's about fifty yards behind you, and six feet straight down."

Doc turns around and sees the tombstones

Doc: "Oh. (Turns back around to face the blue guys) I'm sorry about your loss."

Church: "What- oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks man, it was tough but, well, what're you gonna do…"

"Despite her being his girlfriend, it doesn't sound like he's very sad." Blake said.

"Ex girlfriend." Yang pointed out.

"Is that supposed to make it better?" Blake asked.

"I guess not." Yang said.

Caboose: "We didn't like her very much. (whispers) She was mean to other people."

Doc: "Who's in the other grave?"

Church: "That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave."

Doc: "uh huh.… course."

Caboose: "See, uh, he, got killed by this uh, crazy runaway tank."

Yang, Jaune, Ruby, and Nora laughed at that.

Tucker: "Or by the idiot driving it."

Caboose: "Oh yeah, and then he became, uh, this really mean ghost, and uh, took over a Mexican robot's body, uh, oh! And then we had to uh, oyathatsright, spray paint him, ah, to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man.… who… is blue."

"Mexican? So Mexicans speak Spanish and are… related to whatever Latino is?" Ren muttered to himself writing in his notebook.

Tucker: "Right, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off."

Church: "No esta completamente apagado, bendejo." He said in Lopez's voice.

Caption: Not entirely turned off, moron.

Tucker: "(sighs) I'll go get the Spanish dictionary."

Doc: "Wait, so, no-one here is hurt?"

Church: "No, we're fine. In fact, I feel better than ever. See now whenever these two idiots really start to bug me, I can always just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before."

"That would be amazing!" Weiss said.

"I know right." Blake said agreeing. "Church is lucky."

"Are we really that bad?" Ruby asked.

"Yes." They both answered in unison.

Caboose: "You said they were shorting out."

[click]

Church: "I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I can't hear you ."

Doc: "Well then let me just check you two out, and I'll be on my way."

Tucker: "Whoa… check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?"

"I see they have the same annoying medical practices in that universe." Jaune grumbled.

"Hey, at least you aren't a girl. We have to have entire Doctors that specialize in our lady bits." Yang said. "And most of them seem to be men for some reason. Not fun."

"The one time I've been thankful for having private doctors." Weiss shook her head.

"A private doctor for your priva-"

"Nora!" Pyrrha admonished.

Doc: "(holding up a medical scanner or something) No, I'm just gonna check your vitals."

Caboose: "(to Tucker) I bet I have better vitals than you… What's a vital?"

Church: "On your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you here to join our squad?"

Doc: "No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed."

Church: "First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need you to assist, is to help us kill all the reds."

Yang laughed when Church started being sarcastic.

Doc: "Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector."

"A what?" Jaune asked.

"Oh, recently in Atlas there has been a push to allow people like that in the army. It's people who don't wish to participate in violence." Weiss explained.

"How can you not like violence but join an army?" Yang asked.

"Well, mostly they choose to be medics. They want to save lives instead of taking them." Weiss explained.

"That's very noble." Pyrrha said.

"Yes, but higher ups are.. Hesitant and won't let them join. But General Ironwood accepts all and is working to let them in." Weiss said.

Tucker: "A conshe- who?"

Doc: "I'm a pacifist."

Caboose: "You're a thing that babies suck on…"

Tucker: "No dude, that's a pedophile."

"Oh gross!" Weiss yelled.

"My ears!" Ruby yelled.

Jaune was suddenly feeling very queasy.

"Too far!" Pyrrha yelled.

Blake and Yang gaped in shock, wanting to laugh while also being disgusted.

Church: "Tucker, I think he means a pacifier ."

Tucker: "Oh yeah, right. Man I was totally thinking about something else."

"Oh so Gross!" Yang said.

Church: "That's real classy, Tucker."

Doc: "(running and finishing his scan) Well, everyone here checks out. I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the red base?"

Tucker: "Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em."

Doc: "I'm not. Resources are low, so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time."

"So he's like a freelance Medic." Nora said.

"Yeah that's right." Ren said.

"This Dufresne is a very heroic person, I like him." Pyrrha smiled.

Church: "Man, that is so freakin' lame."

Doc: "I'm just gonna go to red base and see if they need any help."

Church: "Well, if you're gonna go up to red base, I'd recommend putting away that little medical thingie of yours. They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shoot it right out of your hand."

Doc gets shot in the medical thingie

"Woah!" Ruby yelled.

Church: "Yeah, just like that."

Another shot goes past them

Church: "Scatter!"

Cut to Sarge and Donut, Donut firing the sniper rifle

Sarge: "Nice shot, cupcake."

Donut: "Thanks Sarge!"

Simmons: "(firing his machine gun a few times) Oh that's right, suck it blue!"

Grif: "(standing up in front of Simmons) Yeahah, sneak attack!."

"Terrible sneak attack." Blake muttered.

Simmons: "Sit down, you dumbass, I can't see."

Sarge: "Hike up yer knickers, fellas. Let's go get 'em."

The scene faded to black.

"I'm already liking this season way more than the last one!" Nora yelled.

"Yeah! Start the next one." Yang ordered.

Please review, ask any questions you want and leave suggestions.