THE GREEN HOUSE

[In Agnes' classroom]

Agnes: "Okay, class, we're at the halfway point of our energy reduction project. Let's see how you're doing." [checking the students' status] "Great. Very good. Ooh! Very impressive, Clyde!"

[Clyde's bar is extremely low.]

Clyde: "Thanks, Mrs. Johnson. Our house is solar powered, so we don't burn any fossil fuels."

Brooke: [Shakes her head] "If only Mr. Burns would listen to that."

Ashley: "Brooke! We don't talk about that anymore!"

Agnes: "Wonderful. You're all doing a great job of reducing your eco-footprint at home. And if you keep this up, we'll definitely win the Save a Polar Bear Challenge and get this adorable little guy named after us!" [shows her students a poster of a sad polar bear cub with tagline under the photo.]

HAVE A HEART, DO YOUR PART

Students: [with big cooing eyes] "Awwwwww..."

Ashley: [coos] "So cute."

Brooke: [Trying not to look at the polar bear poster] "Must... resist... cuteness..."

[However, Agnes notices Lincoln's bar is extremely high, and printed on multiple attached pieces of paper. In fact, it's so high, he has to stand on a ladder and go into the room's ceiling to properly display it.]

Agnes: [disappointed] "Oh, Lincoln, I see you haven't made any progress."

Ashley: [Points out] "Well, he does have the largest family in this town, Mrs. J."

Agnes: "That doesn't matter! [to Lincoln; points to poster] "What does this say? Have a heart, do your part. Do you not care about polar bears?"

Lincoln: [muffled from inside the ceiling tile.] "No, I don't! I don't hate polar bears! They're awesome!"

Agnes: [misinterpreting] "What's that? You hate polar bears? You're a polar bear hater?"

Brooke: "Bitch! Lincoln is muffed from up there."

Lincoln: [still muffled] "No! I love them! They're cool!"

[The kids all start jeering at Lincoln.]

Cookie: "If you make us lose, Lincoln, you'll be an outcast!"

Girl Jordan: "You might as well throw your social life out the window."

Brooke: "OKAY, THAT'S IT. EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUP!"

[The class gasped in shock.]

Agnes: [angry] "Brooke! We told you several-" [Brooke sends her a threatening look making her back away scared.]

Ashley: "One of the rare times an adult is scared of a child."

Brooke: "ARE YOU ALL SERIOUSLY THIS HIGH! YOU ALL BLAME-"

[Lincoln escapes above the ceiling, letting go of the bar. The papers land on Agnes' head making her fal on to the other students making them scream.]'

Ashley: [shocked] "Um... well... the next scene, I guess."

[Outside, Lincoln is walking home with Clyde - reading a guide book.]

Lincoln: "How am I supposed to reduce our energy use? I've got 10 sisters!"

Brooke: [scoffs] "Tell that to Mrs. Shitson."

Clyde: "I know! We'll just swoop in from the left and ANNIHILATE THEM!"

Lincoln: "What? Annihilate my sisters?"

Ashley: [shocked] "Clyde! That's horrible!"

Brooke: [slightly shocked] "Even I agree that's too harsh."

Clyde: "Huh? No. I was talking about our strategy for the "Swords and Cyborgs" online tournament tomorrow. Preparation is key to victory."

Lincoln: "Oh, yeah. Don't worry. I'll be ready."

Twins: "Same."

Lincoln: "But right now, I've got bigger things to deal with. You heard our class: if I don't get my eco-meter in the green, I'll be a social outcast."

Brooke: "Don't worry, Linc. I got your back. They won't be doing that with me around."

Clyde: "I'll still hang out with you. In secret, of course. After dark. Speaking of which, the sun's going down. I better get home before the lights go out." [hurries home]

[Lincoln checks his eco-meter. It is pointing to red and flashes.]

Lincoln: "Maybe there's something wrong with my eco-meter."

Brooke: "Doubt that."

[Lincoln notices the energy that's being consumed in the Loud House and the garage. Smoke plumes out through the chimneys of both buildings.]

Lincoln: [sighs] "You're right." [turns to the twins] "What can I do? In a family this big, our eco-footprint is a size 18 triple wide. We use a lot of electricity..."

Ashley: "Let's see this flashback sequence."

[Luna is playing her guitar with a ton of amps in the garage - which the door is constantly opening and closing. Inside the house, Lori is gushing over Bobby on a ton of portable tablets set up as webcams in her room.]

Lori: "Bobby, you look so good on all of my devices."

[In the kitchen - where an oven is smoking and the entire room being a mess, Luan is seen holding a baked pie. She hits herself in the face with it and laughs.]

Lincoln: "...fossil fuels..."

[Back outside the house, Lola is driving around in her Princess car. Inside, Lana - sweating heavily - shovels a ton of coal into a furnace to warm up her reptiles.]

Lincoln: "...water..."

[In the bathroom, Leni is running a ton of water in the bathroom sink and the bathtub, causing them both to overflow. Outside, Lynn uses the hose to fill a giant makeshift pool. She opens the freezer door to free the entire pool.]

Lincoln: "...aerosols..."

[Lucy spray paints her whole room pitch-black.]

Lincoln: "...non-biodegradables..."

[Lori changes Lily's diaper, tossing the old one into a mountain shaped pile of diapers.]

Lincoln: "...and did I mention electricity?"

[Lisa - with a peg covering her nose - powers up one of her machines, emitting a flashing green light, which he stares at. He then turns to the twins.]

Ashley: [shocked] "Where the hell are the parents in all this?!"

Brooke: "Probably couldn't say no to their precious daughters."

Lincoln: "We gotta reduce our eco-footprint. Hopefully, I can get my sisters on board."

[However, after he tells them, they all complain and refuse angrily. Luan throws a pie at him but Brooke kicks the pie back at Luan who looks irritated.]

Lincoln: "Or not. Time to pull out the big guns." [shows them the poster of the polar cub and explains in a sorrowful tone.] "...and if we don't all do our part, this adorable little guy won't survive."

[The girls all start crying waterfalls of tears, then each of them stops crying, but with waterfalls of tears still.]

Ashley: "Your not seriously hypnotizing their emotions with poster."

Brooke: "Who can blame him? I would." [Smiles with satisfaction; Ashley frowns at her.]

Luna: [sorrowful] "But what can we do?"

Brooke: "You quit acting like babies-"

Lily: [offended; adorably babbles angrily] "Hey!"

Brooke: [sheepishly] "Uh... present company unincluded, Lily." [normally] "Anyway, as I was saying, you quit acting like babies and reduce the energy problem."

Ashley: "Hopefully, we can get them to have a more positive impact on the environment after this." [Lincoln and Brooke nodded in agreement.]

[He appears in Lori's room and shows Lori all of her tablets.] "You don't need all of these devices."

Lori: "Yes, I do. Bobby and I like to admire each other from multiple angles."

Brooke: [deadpans] "Is there more to your character than Bobby." [Lori glares at her]

Bobby: "Hey, litte dudes! Hola from France!" [stands next to the Mona Lisa.]

Lori: [suspicious] "Who is that girl? And why is she smiling at you?"

Bobby: "Babe, that's the 'Mona Lisa'."

Brooke: "Did you seriously forget about your parent's annivesary which took place years ago?"

Lincoln: [unplugs tablets] "Instead of using all of these, why don't you write Bobby a letter?"

Lori: [Threateningly] "Why don't I rip your little-"

Lincoln: [shows her the poster] "Polar bear."

Lori: [gushes] "Aww...okay. I'll write him a letter." [irked] "And maybe I'll write one to that little flirt Mona, too."

Ashley: [whispers to Lincoln] "Nice save."

[Lincoln puts out the fire in the furnace with a bucket of water.]

Lana: "But how will I keep my reptiles warm?

Ashley: [shocked] "How do you have a furnace in your room?"

Brooke: "AND YOU HAVE FUCKING REPTILES!"

Lana: "They're cold-blooded, you know."

Lincoln: "But you're not."

[He dresses Lana up in a parka with all of her reptiles nice and cozy inside. Lana likes this but finds out one of them is in her mouth.]

Brooke: [shocked] "The fuck?!"

Brooke: [gags] "Can we go to the next scene before I go crazy?"

[Lisa is powering up her machine and laughing evilly until Lincoln shuts it down.]

Brooke: "That's enough electricity, you einstein freak."

Lincoln: "Instead of powering your lab with megawatts of electricity, why not use a renewable resource?"

[Lisa is now using Lily's dirty diapers and it works like a charm.]

Lisa: [gasps with a clothes peg on her nose.] "Lincoln, this is genius!"

Lincoln: [changing another of Lily's diapers] "Fresh energy, comin' at ya! This one's got to be good for at least 75 watts. [He throws the diaper into Lisa's power source.]

Ashley: "We're getting close to green."

[In the bathroom, Leni is about to take a shower, but Lincoln is in there and she shrieks.]

Brooke: "Hey, dumbass." [Ashley nudges her shoulders angrily] "Uh, I mean, Leni."

Lincoln: "Leni, instead of taking multiple showers a day..." [holds up a moist towelette] "...how about using this refreshing moist towelette?"

Leni: "And clog my pores?! No way!" [Lincoln shows her the poster.]

Brooke: [rasing an eyebrow] "Are your pores more important than a polar bear's life?"

Lincoln: "Awww...okay." [takes towelette and starts wiping. She also notices Lincoln hasn't moved and becomes annoyed.] "Do you mind? I'm showering!" [closes curtain and continues wiping]

[Luan is baking more pies in the oven.]

Lincoln: "Luan, instead of wasting all that energy making more pies, why not get some comedy out of your leftover banana peels?" [holds up a peel]

Luan: "That old gag? I don't think so."

Lincoln: [shrugs and trips on a peel.] "Whoa!" [thuds]

Luan: "Actually, I'm starting to see the a-peel!" [laughs at rimshot]

[Lincoln checks his eco-meter and finds that his house is now in the yellow.]

Lincoln: "We're getting there."

[Throughout his endeavor, Lincoln takes away Lucy's aerosol and gives her shades to look at everything darker and she smiles in agreement. He turns off Luna's amps and gives her recycled bottles that show blows in for sound. He pulls the plug on the freezer and cancels Lynn's hockey practice and gives her a surfboard to surf in the pool.]

Ashley: [awe] "Cool."

Brooke: "My turn." [Grabs surfboard and begans surfing ona wave.]

[Lincoln trades Lola's gasoline out for a sail to drive in the wind and she takes off. Back in his bedroom, he looks at his eco-meter again. It is still in the yellow.]

Lincoln: "Almost there." [dumps the rest of the electronic stuff in his room and finds the meter going green.] "WE DID IT!"

Ashley: "We did it! We did-"

Brooke: "NOPE!"

Ashley: "Aw!" [Pouts as Brooke rubs her back]

[The girls cheer]

Lincoln: "See what we can accomplish when we all do our part? All we have to do is keep the house in the green until the end of the week, and that polar bear will be safe! And so will my social life."

Luan: [Chanting] "Say it proud! We're green and Loud!"

Sisters: [Chanting] "SAY IT PROUD! WE'RE GREEN AND LOUD! SAY IT PROUD! WE'RE GREEN AND LOUD!" [They walk away.]

Ashley: [smiling] "What a cool chant? You guys should say it when you trying to reduce energy again."

Lincoln: "Thanks, Ashley. Now, time for the 'Swords and Cyborgs' tournament time."

Brooke: "That's TODAY OF ALL DAYS!" [Angry that it's during the eco-footprint project.]

Ashley: [worried] "We can't do it in this house! We just went to green!"

Girls: [Chanting off in the distance] "YES WE CARE! WE'LL SAVE THAT BEAR!"

[The three sigh in dismay.]

Ashley: [upset] "So long, tournament victory."

[A lightbulb appears over Lincoln lighting.]

Lincoln: "I know we can do the tournament at the Burpin' Burger."

Brooke: [beams] "Hey, you're right! That place has good Wi-fi!"

Ashley: "TO THE BURPIN' BURGER!"

[The kids rush outside. It shows that Lynn and Lucy are watching TV]

Lynn: "Wait a minute. Won't watching TV effect the energy."

Lucy: "Possibly."

[Lynn looks on with sorrow guilt.]

Lucy: "Sigh. We can't do this. Let's just make our own entertainment."

Lynn: [pipes up] "Or we could watch TV at Mr. Grouse's house."

Lucy: "Oh, yeah. That's better."

[The AC is on in Luna and Luan's room.]

Luna: "Wait, maybe we should just use fans instead of using AC."

Luan: "Good idea. I am your number 1 fan." [giggles with rimshot] "Get it!"

Luna: [annoyed] "Quit it, dude."

[Cuts to inside the Burpin' Burger where Lincoln, Brooke and Ashley are playing 'Swords and Cyborgs' on their laptops.]

Ashley: "Here's the final team."

Lincoln: "Alright, guys focus. The final team is ahead. If we-"

Brooke: "WE WON!" [Lincoln looks at her in surprise before turning to his computer and sees that the final teeam forfeited the match looks relieved.]

Lincoln: [sighs in relief] "Yes we did."

Ashley: "And it wasn't even because of us."

[Agnes' class]

Agnes: "Amazing work, class. We won the polar bear challenge. And I took the liberty of naming him... Mrs. Johnson...

Students: [complaining at such an unfair naming choice.] "MRS. JOHNSON?!"

[Everyone glares hard at Agnes, who looks nervous.]

Agnes: [slightly uncomfortable] "Uh, what's with the hard looks class?"

Lance: [holding in temper] "Mrs. Johnson!"

Ashley: [also peeved] "You have to be shitting us."

Agnes: "I said no-"

Brooke: "KICK HER ASS!"

[All of the students get off their desks and starting beating up Agnes.]

Agnes: "AAAAH! HELP ME!"

[Lincoln is outside the school rubbing himself with towelettes.]

Lincoln: "What is going on in there?"