Nervously I stepped from one foot to the other.

I stood in front of the door to the Hufflepuff rooms and couldn't bring myself to go in yet.

Hannah invited me, I reminded myself, she wanted me here.

I had never been invited to such evenings.

I would have needed friends for that.

I had always imagined what it would be like and now that I had the opportunity, I was too afraid of it.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I could do this, I could go in there and try to fit in.

No matter what happened I still had Neville, even if the others didn't like me I wouldn't be alone.

I pushed down the handle and luckily for me Hannah had been right and it opened without a password.

As soon as I opened the door I heard the chattering behind it.

When Hannah spotted me she jumped up from her cushion on the floor and hugged me.

"I'm so glad you're here. Come on, I'll introduce you to the others."

She pulled me by my arm to the group of girls sitting in the middle of the room on cushions on the floor with a large pile of sweets, cookies and drinks in the middle.

"Girls, this is Daisy. She's Neville's best friend."

That was her introduction to me and I waved shyly around.

"Daisy, these are: Susan, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, Lavender, Pansy, Millicent, Parvati, Padma and Cho", she introduced me to the girls sitting from left to right.

I had not been able to remember the names so quickly and it would certainly take me forever to know them all.

Hannah sat back down in her seat and pointed to the free cushion next to her.

The girls went straight back to their conversations before I interrupted them and I sat idly by.

At some point a girl stood up a few seats away from me with long blonde hair and came back with some brushes, combs, hair ties and clips.

"Hair time?" she asked around the room and everyone else seemed to understand exactly what she meant and turned to her.

I on the other hand, was more than confused.

"Luna, Cho, Lavender and I love braiding hair and this round always has to be the guinea pig for our new ideas", Hannah explained with a soft smile.

That actually explained the pretty hairstyles the other girls sometimes wore.

"That sounds pretty cool" I said honestly.

I had never had much of a talent for dealing with hair.

Mine just annoyed me most of the time, so I always wore it up in a bun.

But I didn't want to cut it off because my mom had loved my long hair so much.

"I can start with yours if you want", she suggested.

My hair was naturally curly and thick, so quite unruly.

"My hair can be quite complicated sometimes", I said sheepishly.

"They can't be as bad as Hermione's," she laughed, directing me to sit in front of her.

"Hey!", came from a girl with bushy brown hair, which I could therefore identify as Hermione.

"So", Hannah began as she grabbed some utensils from the centre.

"Well, let's undo your hair and let me see what I'm dealing with here."

Slowly I released my hair from the scrunchie and let it fall back.

I only ever cut my ends.

As I said my mom loved my long hair, so I took good care of it, just in her memory.

My hair went almost to the end of my back and now dangled just above the floor.

After the shower it was about down to my bottom but in its curly state it was shorter.

Hannah behind me drew in a sharp breath and I turned around.

"Is everything alright?

I know the curls can be complicated, it's no big deal. I can just put them back together."

"No", she intervened quickly.

The other girls looked at us in confusion.

"Wow", escaped one of them and I couldn't tell who it was.

"Those are unbelievably long."

"And healthy", someone else added.

"I didn't know you had such beautiful hair", Hannah said almost in awe.

"They annoy me most of the time, so I put them up", I explained sheepishly and Hannah turned me on my shoulder again so that I was sitting with my back to her.

"Your hair really is a dream Daisy.

You could have said that earlier", she laughed and started brushing my hair.

No one had done that for so long.

I never let my grandma brush it because I wanted to do it myself.

Actually, I just didn't want to because Mom was supposed to do it. She took care of my hair and having someone else do it felt like a betrayal at the time.

Even now it was still weird but I wasn't a kid anymore, I could handle my emotions and I knew I wasn't betraying my mom.

The whole thing would have been easier done magically of course but Hannah took her time and brushed my hair slowly and patiently.

While she was busy behind me with my hair the rest of us chatted.

I was also included in the conversation.

The others wanted to know what my life in America was like and I willingly told them a few things. I skilfully omitted the fact that I had no friends there because everyone was afraid of me.

"I would love to do a year abroad", enthused a girl whose name I think was Padma.

"Maybe after school", she smiled and seemed to have disappeared into her thoughts.

"Done here." Hannah held out a mirror to me.

My hair had been braided around my head like a wreath. A few strands hung down into my face.

"It looks wonderful. Thank you", touched and impressed I handed the mirror back to her.

"See Pans, this is what you could look like if you grew your hair out", a red haired girl, Ginny I think was her name, teased.

"Well I'm very happy with my short hair.

It just looks so much better on me."

I thought it looked good on her too. She wore her straight black hair in a chin length bob.

It looked sassy and cheeky and that's how she acted.

"Oh yeah and Malfoy is into it too", Ginny grinned cheekily at her.

Malfoy and Pansy? He had never mentioned that. Well why should he?

We weren't friends, he didn't have to tell me anything.

"Shut up Weasley", she hissed back.

"Now don't be like that, you know I'm only joking."

"That's not very funny."

"He's her ex", Hannah whispered softly behind me and I was very grateful to her for that explanation.

"They had a thing going on. Then the war happened and he was engaged to Astoria right after that.

He dumped Pansy for no reason at all and didn't even give her an explanation why."

"You can say it out loud Han, if you have to whisper, do it in a way that people won't hear.

Fuck him, he actually did me a favour."

She smiled mischievously and the girl next to her blushed.

"That didn't sound like that at the beginning of the school year though."

The girl next to Ginny punched her in the side.

"Heey! What? She was crying all over us, have you forgotten?"

"No Gin, we haven't forgotten but we just don't bring it up."

Pansy glared angrily at her friend from the side but she was not deterred and continued what was probably meant to be an imitation of Pansy.

"It's all so unfair. Astoria doesn't deserve him at all.

She's just a child and besides, he loves me."

She spoke theatrically, and continued in a lower voice, thus portraying a conversation.

"But Pansy, doesn't he always say you're just screwing and that it has nothing to do with feelings?"

"Yeah but I know him, he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't like me too."

"He fucks really well, " the real Pansy now intervened and everyone laughed.

Only I was, minimally uncomfortable.

I smiled anyway, not wanting to let on.

"Was I really that bad?", Pansy asked after the laughing died down.

"Worse", everyone laughed in chorus.

These girls really did tell each other everything, I thought.

And here I sit like an intruder, in a group where I don't belong. I don't know any of their inside jokes, I don't even know all their names.

It was a stupid idea to come here. It was obvious that I wouldn't belong.

I yawned once demonstratively.

"I think I should go, I'm pretty tired", I said playfully.

"Already?", asked Hannah sadly.

"Didn't sleep well last night."

That wasn't even a lie, I really didn't sleep particularly well.

"I'll see you in the morning," I added.

The others all wished me another good night and I disappeared into the cool quiet corridors of Hogwarts.

The cool air and quiet did me an incredible amount of good.

Slowly I walked through the corridors, without any goal.

I didn't want to go back to Min just yet. She would ask me why I was back so early and she wouldn't understand the real reason that I felt I belonged.

So I would kill some more time here alone in the corridors.

The night was clear and the stars were visible. It had been snowing all day so I was surprised that there were no clouds in the sky now.

I didn't had a jacket with me but a warm jumper, so I wasn't cold despite the cold wind whistling through the window openings.

I passed a courtyard where the snow looked untouched, as if no one had come near it for weeks.

It was far too tempting not to be the one to end this state of affairs.

Cautiously I took a step outside and my foot sank into the snow up to my ankle.

Another step and another till eventually I was standing in the middle of a white blanket of snow.

I didn't even really think about it but I already had my wand in my hand and let the snow fly through the air.

At first there was no discernible pattern but then I decided to shape it.

I was concentrated and I had a clear vision of what I wanted to create.

I didn't even notice that my fingers were freezing.

All that mattered was me, the snow and the melody in my head.

More and more I could see what my vision was and when I was finished I sat down exhausted in front of it and looked at it.

Towers one and a half times my height, winding corners. Nothing fitted together but somehow it became one.

Hogwarts really did look just like the books Grandma used to read to me and now that I had seen it for myself I could make it seem so alive, as if this wasn't a replica made of snow.

Every little window, every bench in every courtyard I had created only with my imagination and my memories.

Proud and exhausted, I let myself fall on my back.

There was almost no snow here now, because almost all of it had gone into my castle.

Hogwarts was the first place outside my real home where I could feel at home.

For that to happen, I would just have to let it.

I would have to be more open.

I should have stuck to that girls' night out and I should have wanted to make friends from the start.

So I had waited for coincidences, waited for others to approach me instead of doing something myself for my happiness.

Then that's exactly what it was, luck.

I was insanely lucky with Neville, with Hannah and the girls who had invited me to their evening together without hesitation.

I looked up at the sky and watched the stars until two grey eyes shifted into my field of vision and made me cringe.

"And I thought you were dead."

"Sorry to disappoint you Malfoy."

I sat up straight.

"What are you doing here?", I asked annoyed.

"I should really be asking you that question.

I'm a prefect, I'm allowed to be out here."

Disdainfully I raised an eyebrow.

That didn't really answer my question.

But the castle made of snow should answer his question for that.

He held out his hand to me.

I was confused for a moment but then I realised that he wanted to help me up, which was actually a nice gesture but I could do without it.

"I'm actually quite capable of standing up on my own."

"I was just trying to be friendly."

"That's what worries me."

"You really don't make it easy either, Harper."

Offended, he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I had stood up completely without his help and was now standing in front of him.

"Would be far too boring if I did."

He said nothing in reply and turned to face my snow castle.

"Admit it, you're already a little bit impressed."

"Your work?"

Wasn't that was obvious?

"No, that was the bloody Baron. I'm supposed to look after it and anyone who increased to that comes up a curse", I explained seriously.

"Hilarious Harper."

I bowed playfully.

"Thank you Mr Malfoy, you really are too kind", I mimicked us at the last dance class.

He didn't reply, so I brought up my question from earlier.

"What are you doing here?"

"Patrolling", he said curtly, turning his gaze from the castle to me.

"And you shouldn't be here."

"It's not curfew yet. I have as much right to be here as you do", I retorted snappishly.

"You shouldn't be here in the snow without a jacket. It's too cold."

"And what do you care?"

He grabbed me by my arms and looked me firmly in the eye.

"Because you damn near froze to death!"

He almost shouted at me and in his cold grey eyes I could see fear flashing.

I repressed this incident as best I could but it didn't seem to be so easy for him.

"I'm sorry", I said guiltily, looking down at my hands.

I actually hadn't thought about it and now that he said it I felt the coldness in my fingers.

He followed my gaze and then quickly took my hands in his.

If my hands hadn't been so freezing cold, I probably would have thought of his as cold but in contrast they seemed warm.

He closed his eyes and I was about to ask what that was about when I noticed his hands getting warmer.

He moves his body heat into his hands. For me, to warm my hands.

I had taught him that before the holidays.

I knew he could do it but it still surprised me.

But mostly I was surprised by our physical contact.

Goosebumps spread under my jumper and I didn't know if it was from the cold or from his touch.

"Thank you", I whispered as my hands returned to a healthy temperature.

Finally he opened his eyes again, but the fear and worry had not disappeared.

"I'll go in", I added releasing my hands from his.

The goosebumps did not disappear, so I blamed it on the cold.

I smiled slightly at him again, then turned and left.

"Your hair is nice", he said quietly.

I turned around once more.

"Thank you, but I'm afraid it's not my doing. The compliment belongs to Hannah."

I hoped he didn't notice that the compliment had surprised me because my face felt quite warm.

"Good night Malfoy", I added as I walked inside.

"Good night Harper."

He sounded so different from usual, calm and gentle.

And it really was a good night, I slept much deeper and more restful than the last few nights.

Why, who knows but in any case that soft goodnight from Malfoy was still echoing in my head all Saturday.

"Let's go, Daisy!", Neville dragged me from the armchair in the library I was sitting on.

"We have to get to the quidditch game if we want to still have good seats."

How could I have forgotten?

Quiddich, Hufflepuff vs Slytherin.