The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

David Rossi was dreaming. He knew it had to be a dream because, even though their current relationship was improving, there was no way on God's green earth that Lisa would have come to his bedroom door in a merry widow and thigh high stockings. Still, the dream was highly enjoyable.

The sound of Mudgie's deep throated growl woke him from his erotic scene. Mudgie didn't growl in the middle of the night for just anything. Sitting up, Rossi listened for sounds to indicate what had Mudgie's attention.

"What's going on, Boy?" he asked, throwing back the blankets and getting out of bed.

The dog stood at the door, his nose pressed against the crack between the door and the frame. Casting Rossi a glance for barely a second, he returned his attention to the door.

Rossi opened the door and Mudgie was out like a shot, running down the stairs, all the while issuing the same threatening growl. He waited, listening for the growl to turn into a bark, but it did not.

Curious, he made his way down stairs. As he reached the bottom, he noticed the kitchen light was on. Walking in, he found Lisa sitting at the table, sipping a glass of scotch and stroking Mudgie's head.

"Some watch dog you are," he laughed, as the dog's eyes shut in bliss.

"That's my fault," Lisa said, with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You okay?" he asked, watching her carefully. She looked exhausted, her skin pale against her dark red hair and black silk pajamas.

She shrugged, "This is what I've been doing lately. I fall asleep for about an hour or two and wake up at some obscenely early time."

"Have you thought about seeing a doctor?" he suggested.

She shook her head, "So that he can give me sleeping pills? No, no way, not me."

"Here's a thought," he said, with a gentle smile, "Have you thought about taking a vacation? Maybe just getting away from it for a while?"

"And go where?"

"Anywhere but Quantico. What about taking some time and going home?"

"I've tried that, it's not far enough away," she sniffed. "Magically, all of my dad's buddies from Philly PD find out I'm home and bring me their missing children."

"What about the islands?"

"Dave, the islands are for couples and groups of partying friends," she went on, standing up, "I haven't been part of a couple for quite some time and most of my friends work with me."

"So? That means you can't go away with them?"

"My closest friends are Hotch and Penelope Garcia," she said, "Do you really see Hotch hopping a flight to Cancun to do the bar crawl with me?"

"No, but I can see Garcia doing it," he countered.

"It's just not going to happen," she dismissed.

He knew he wasn't going to win that point, so he took a different approach. "You're welcome to stay out here for a while. You'd be surprised at how relaxing this place can be. Wait til the sun comes up…the view out of those sliders," he nodded at the glass sliding doors along the far wall of the kitchen, "It's good for the soul."

"Looks like it's served you well," she said, with a small smile.

"It has," he nodded, then quietly, "I don't want to see you burn out, Lisa. You watched Gideon…"

"I know."

"No, you don't know a thing, Little Girl," he said, his voice quiet but stern. "You've come a long way since I was around. But you're too far into the trees to see the forest. You need to pull back, step out of it, get away from it. None of us ever stepped away to decompress, so when we finally did walk away, it was a total break."

"You came back," she tried.

"I have my reasons, which we are not discussing tonight," he said, guiding the topic back to her. "When I walked away, I was fried. I wasn't any good to anyone. Writing my first book was cathartic, buying this place and coming out here was healing. Yes, I came back, but I'm rested, refreshed and able to look at things in a different light."

"I'm not that fried."

"No, you aren't. Yet." He took both of her hands in his. "You're on a destructive path and I can't sit back and watch you do this to yourself."

"You make it seem like I'm the only person who's a type A personality," she protested, "What about Hotch?"

"What about him?"

"He's a hard charger, just like me…"

"He has healthy outlets for his stress. He runs, he spends time with his son."

"And my chosen outlets aren't exactly healthy, I get it." Lisa sighed, looking at him. She knew she should just stop talking and go back to bed, but instead, she said, "My professional life is amazing…my personal life sucks. Guess you can't have both, can you?"

"Who says you can't?" he challenged.

"Do you know how hard it is to start a relationship in this line of work? If the guys stick around after they hear what you do for a living, they take off shortly after the second or third time that work keeps you from spending time with them. One night stands are so much easier."

"And not very fulfilling."

"They serve a purpose," she shrugged.

"What? Release? Physical contact?" he kept at her, waiting for her to break, refusing to believe that she had changed that much. "The Lisa I used to know wouldn't be satisfied with a night of anonymous sex. She wanted the closeness, the intimacy…"

"You learn to take what you can get."

"You settle for what's easy."

"And just who made you my Jiminy Cricket?" she snapped, finally growing tired of his badgering. "Yes, I miss all of that stuff. You have no freaking idea how much I wish I had someone to put their arms around me after a long day, or to have coffee with in the morning before work. But I don't have that and can't find it, so I take what I can get."

Despite her icy words, there was pain in her eyes. It was that look of pain that started the whole affair many years ago. He hated to see it then and, no matter what had happened, he still hated to see it.

Without a word, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. He expected her to struggle in his arms, but instead she stood arms at her side, not really resisting but not relaxing either.

"What are you doing?"

"Reminding you what it feels like to be held by someone who cares about you," he simply said, smiling as her body relaxed against his.

"Dave…" she said, anger dissipating. It felt good to be in his arms again. She leaned against him, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne.

"You're not fighting me," he observed, as she wrapped her arms around him.

She pulled back and studied his face. "I'm not fighting you. I should be…part of me wants to."

"Only part?" he asked with a wry smile, "I must be getting through."

"You didn't say anything I haven't said to myself," she admitted. "I guess it just sounds worse when someone else says it out loud. How did I get to be such a lowlife?"

He laughed, "You are not a lowlife."

"I'm not? God, Dave, I can't tell you the last time I actually went out on a date, let alone slept with the same guy twice. If my mother was still alive, she'd call me a slut."

"Just how often do you pick up?"

"Not all that often…" she demurred.

"And, I assume you're intelligent enough to use protection?"

She blushed, "Of course."

"You're not a slut, Little Girl," he gently said, watching as a sad smile crossed her face.

"That's the second time tonight that you've called me that," she mused. "I haven't heard that since Gideon left…"

"You used to hate it when we called you that."

"That's what I wanted you to think," she smiled. "Secretly, I loved it."

"Just like Hotch liked it when we called him, Kid, huh?"

"No, he really did hate being called Kid," she laughed.

"I'll have to remember to do it on Monday."

"Make sure I'm in the room, okay?" she said, then sobered.

"What's wrong?"

"Here we are again" she asked, studying his eyes. "You and me…"

"Here we are," he agreed.

"So, where do we go from here?"

"Back to bed?" he asked, wry smile playing on his lips.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to fall asleep again," she admitted.

"I have an idea, but you'll have to hear me out before you say no."

"Okay…go on."

"Stay with me tonight, in my room."

"Dave…"

"I said you'll have to hear me out first," he reminded.

"I'm sorry, go ahead."

"Stay with me. I've got a king so there's plenty of room. You can sleep on the far side of the bed if you want. I just think it might do you good to wake up with someone you know. Besides, if you don't sleep, the windows in my room give you the best view of the sunrise."

She mulled over the idea for a moment. "Okay. I'll stay with you."

XXXX

Despite her protestations, Lisa fell asleep shortly after hitting Rossi's very comfortable king sized bed. She wasn't sure if it had to do with the amazingly soft sheets, the nice firm pillows, or the arms that held her close to his warm body. She wasn't surprised that after a moment of initial awkwardness, their bodies fell right into sync and they lay comfortably together.

She woke to find his arms still around her and his dark eyes looking back at hers.

"And how long have you been staring at me?" she asked, moving up so that they were face to face, her head resting on the pillow.

"I just woke up myself," he lied. He'd been awake since sunrise. Awakened by yet another dream of screaming children, he sat up in bed, looking around the room. As reality crept in to his dream addled mind, he found her curled up in a ball on the far side of the bed. This time, it was he who needed the comfort of familiar arms and he gently pulled her close. Without waking, she curled herself around him, resting her head on his chest.

She smiled at him, "Okay, right, sure."

Ha laughed, "Yeah, it's been a long time since I woke up with someone with your…level of perception."

Lisa laughed with him, "Going for the ditzy blonds, are we?"

"Now you know I have a thing for redheads," he returned in kind.

"Yeah, I know, but how many true redheads are really out there?"

"I just spent the night with one."

"Yeah, you did, didn't you? You were right," she admitted. "I haven't slept that well in a long time. Thank you."

He shrugged, "I had my own selfish reasons."

"Which were?"

"I figured it was the only way I'd get you in my arms again."

Although he wore a smart smile, she felt the weight of his words. "It would be so easy to forget everything and just fall back into a relationship with you," she quietly said.

"It would," he agreed, then, "But I don't think you've forgiven me yet."

"We both destroyed our relationship and I've forgiven us both for that," she said, putting great thought behind her words. "But I still haven't forgiven you for walking away and not looking back."

He locked her eyes with his, "I thought I was doing it for you. I'd screwed up your life enough and figured that if I just left it alone, you'd be better off. In some ways, I think I was right."

"And in some ways, you couldn't have been further from right," she sadly said.

"If I could take it all back…"

"Stop, Dave, please? We can't keep dealing with this guilt."

"What do you propose we do?"

"Move forward," she decided. "Step away from it and admit that we both screwed up and put it behind us."

"Move forward," he nodded.

"But, the question is, how do we move forward? And in what capacity."

He watched as she rationalized things internally, a thoughtful expression on her face, and fought his body's urging to kiss her.

"You still with me?" she asked.

"I'm with you," he returned, then, with a sly smile, "I was a bit distracted for a moment."

"Yeah, I remember that look," she mused. "You're distracted alright."

"Hey, I just spent the night in bed with a beautiful red head," he continued, tone still light, "You can't expect me to not be distracted."

"Oh, and I'm sure I'm a sight right now, too," she rolled her eyes. "I slept in my make up, my hair's all messy, not to mention I must have killer morning breath."

"Funny, I didn't notice any of that."

"You're still good with the smooth lines."

He shrugged, "I've had years of practice. Tell me it didn't work a little bit."

Lisa laughed, "Okay, I give, it worked a little bit."

He raised a brow, "Really?"

"Really," she said, still laughing.

"Hm…I'm going to have to try this again later," he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

"Maybe you should," she said, with a wink. "Now, I seem to remember something about a walk in the woods?"