Bellicism Arc: A Moment of Respite

It was like dominos. Yuina wrapped up her mission with Shikaku only to be pulled into another three missions. It made her realize how lucky she was to not have a formal team and to have a sensei that didn't talk to her as a kid. Ryoma, a chunin who was tasked to lead a five-man squad was particularly annoying. Typically, she would think treating children as children was a good thing, but it sucked when it only manifested as talking down to her or acting as if she was completely incapable.

Yuina looked at her family photo. Her eyes traced the outline of Kakashi and Sakumo's faces. Her thumb covering her own face. She had cursed them a few times that they unintentionally misled her understanding of this world, but she had also been lucky that they treated her like a person first.

She carefully put the photo away and returned to practicing vocabulary. There were only so many things to do anyway. Learning often filled the gaps of boredom. It was a peaceful quiet as she reviewed and Sakumo joined to cook lunch.

"Tou-chan, are the chunin exams always this long?" Kakashi still hasn't returned. She hoped that wasn't a bad sign.

"The chunin exam always hosts some final tournament style round. It gets stalled with the Kage invites."

It sounded like poor planning to Yuina. How long could they be? If it periodically occurred then there should be better structures in place. It's been nearly a month. Even the Olympics would have been over by now. If the Kages are involved it's for showmanship to show off their best. Otherwise, why not be present through the whole thing. Even nations without finalists would be interested in the others' strengths. Not to mention the structure made little sense. An international event? Yes. A good promotion framework? Questionable.

They ate in silence and Yuina thought about Sakumo. For a period of time she tried to push Kakashi to make friends, but what about Sakumo. She rarely heard about others from him and it was never a reoccurring thing even when he did. He'd been raising two kids alone and took plenty of missions. Not exactly the best conditions to be making friendships. Did things change after marriage? After kids? Was he always like this? She got the smallest peak from that Eiichiro guy at the post, but that was hardly anything.

She knew his habits, his likes, his dislikes but she wondered if he was different with other people. Like she was, she supposed.

"Are you ever lonely?

Sakumo gently coughed on his food. That was bad timing on her end. She panicked over his reaction and crawled over to him even though he quickly stabilized himself.

"Sorry," she said.

His hand found its way to the top of her head like so many times before. "It's not your fault. I was just surprised. You don't have to worry about me. Parents care for their children, not the other way around." Yuina disagreed. It may be the parent's responsibility to raise their kids, but it was only natural that care was mutual unless someone behaved in a manner to warrant disdain or apathy. "Besides, how could I be lonely with you and Kakashi. If anything, I should be asking you that."

Yuina didn't like having the script flipped to her. If he wanted to be that way, she'd throw his words back at him. "I've got you and Kakashi, so why would I be lonely?"

Sakumo is worn down by her words but still had a comeback of his own. "Because you keep trying to assure that Kakashi and I have others in our lives but don't do the same for yourself."

It wasn't the same. They belonged here through and through. She felt like an outsider and did what she considered the minimum and even that labelled her an oddity. Orochimaru had to vet her knowledge. Others spoke in awe or anger over her minor rank. Who was she going to connect with? Her integration has improved a little but there were clear lines between her new experiences and memories. Worse, what happened if she did connect with someone? Fondness lead to blindness. While she was willing to participate in the system laid out to her, she refused to be blinded by it. It was bad enough she was trying to reconcile the gap between her willingness to kill and the justifications of why people 'needed' to be killed in the first place.

Yuina tugged at his arm, looked up at him, and double downed. "But I have you."

"You have the same expression as your mother." He sighed and let his guard down even more.

Yuina took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Will you tell me more about her sometime? It doesn't have to be today." She was curious but she asked for Sakumo's sake. It could be hard talking about loved ones who weren't in the picture. Maybe he would open up more if he thought it was for her sake.

"Another time then."

"Then should we go to the Seppanaki District? I've heard there's a travelling troupe currently stationed here." Temporary events meant so much more when everything wasn't instantaneous.

He agreed and the two left the house. The area was busy. Kids playing with spinning tops, hanetsuki, otedama, and ohajiki. She bought anmitsu and yokan to share with Sakumo. She didn't have to worry about the sugar levels with Kakashi away, even though sweets weren't the same. It had moderate sugar compared to the excessive refined sugars of her last life.

The district felt alive. It didn't have the preparation levels of a proper festival but it hit many of the same notes. There were some fun comedy sketches by street performers. Some were even satirical that she resisted reacting to. Ah, at times like these she wished she could drop her guard if only a little.

Then there were some musical performances that she greatly enjoyed. Yuina missed music. She used to constantly listen to music during her commutes. Needless to say, that wasn't a possibility in the elemental nations. So close yet so far away. Maybe in a few decades they'll have figured out how to broadcast radio. Surely, half the technology was already made. If anything it should be prioritized under the guise that it would be a fantastic mission tool.

She shakuhashi, a flute like instrument, was pleasant. The taiko drums adding a layer of dramaticism. A shamisen, similar to a lute, added a layer of melodic tension whereas the koto's melodies gave a sense of wonderment. All they were missing was a brass instrument.

Yuina stared at the koto. It reminded her so much of a guzheng. An instrument she had wanted to learn until she realized there was no one in her area that would have been able to teach her. There were online courses but it wasn't the same of having someone being able to correct things early on next to you. It was upsetting but she ended up learning the piano which had been fulfilling on it's own right.

"You like the koto?"

She must have been staring a little too hard. Her bobbing her head to the rhythm probably didn't help either. "It's pleasant." They all were but it brought up old feeling of longing.

She didn't know why he looked her that way, but it was the same look as before so Yuina assumed it had something to do with his deceased wife.

Yes, she had a few changes to herself being reborn but was that really enough to see his wife in her? It was an odd consideration but one that left her feeling a little less like a stranger.

Cultural Notes:

Hanetsuki: kind of like badminton

Otedama: casual bean bag tossing, usually with people singing

Ohajiki: Like marbles but with stones