Interlude 22: Operation: Kick Ass

"So, this the place?" Lancer asked as we approached a large building. Except, that's wrong. To call it large would be an understatement. This building was freakishly huge! It's easily the tallest building in all of Tokyo!

"Am I ever wrong?" I asked.

"What about Ayaka?" Lancer pointed out.

"Shut up Lancer." I replied.

"Anyway, I wasn't expecting it to be so…wow." Lancer spoke.

"I told you this guy was a filthy rich mother fucker, didn't I?" I asked.

'Archer's master isn't a mage! Hell, I doubt he even knows what Magecraft really is! He's just a filthy rich mother fucker!'

"Yeah, you did." Lancer replied as I walked in front of him and put my hands behind my back.

"So, what are we waiting for? Let's run in and beat the shit out of everyone in there!" I shouted with confidence but then…

"Do you really intend to 'beat the shit out of me' too, mongrel?" A familiar voice asked. I heard this voice only once before. I was-

"SHIT! GET OUTTA THE WAY, YOUNG LADY!" Lancer roared as he pushed me out of the way and attempted to kill Archer. However-

'BAM!' Lancer's attack was blocked by Archer's weapon. Except, it wasn't just any weapon, it was-

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THAT?!" Lancer roared at the top of his lungs as he noticed what weapon was in Archer's hands. It was Gae Bolg. But that's the spear that belongs to Lancer! He even has it in his hands right now! How the hell are their two Gae Bolgs?!

"You must be quite dumb if you haven't realized my identity by now." Archer scoffed.

"BASTARD! I"LL KILL YA!" Lancer roared but then…

"TIME OUT!" Archer roared as Lancer stopped in place. Even I was speechless. Did he just say-

"Time…" Lancer muttered.

"…Out?" I asked.

"That's right! Don't you mongrels want to take advantage of my generosity by hearing me out? Or do you want to be slaughtered by yours truly?" Archer asked with a smirk.

"I still want to kill you." Lancer muttered.

"No. Y-You don't stand a chance Lancer." I replied.

"HEY!" Lancer snapped back.

"Sorry. Just stating facts." I replied.

"Ha! This beautiful woman has realized the truth!" Archer shouted.

"I-I…um…thank y-" I blushed as I was about to thank blondie, but I was interrupted by him before I could finish.

"Women who are absolutely confident in their good looks are repulsive creatures!" Archer yelled.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Ok. Now what the fuck did you just say to me?!" I snapped back as I rolled up my sleeve and was about to punch this blond douchebag myself, but he ignored me.

"Anyway, what I want from you is…" Archer spoke but paused for dramatic effect until-

"…Where's Saber?" Archer asked.

"Huh?" Me and Lancer asked in unison.

"Did I stutter? I've been searching for that mongrel, but I just can't seem to find him." Archer admitted.

"Why? Do you want to fight him or something?" Lancer asked.

"Actually yes. I have a score to settle with that mongrel. So, his current location would be greatly appreciated. Or don't say a word and I can just cut both of your heads off right now. Your choice." Archer declared.

'Damn. This guy is even more of a demon than the young lady.' Lancer thought internally.

'Wow. He's so hot. Wait! No! Why the hell am I thinking that?! That douchebag called me a repulsive creature! He's a dick!' I thought internally.

"So, what's it going to be? You mongrels are wasting my precious time." Archer spoke as both me and Lancer were brought back to reality.

"Ok. He's at the subway station." I replied with a smile.

"Your sure?" Archer asked as he stood right in front of me.

"Y-Yeah." I replied as I used my spare pager to send a message to Saber behind my back so that Archer wouldn't notice. 'Go to the subway station.' Good thing that I know where all the buttons are without having to look at them. Also, too close! Too close! Too close!

"Alright then! Bye." Archer spoke as he walked away. Huh?

"Y-You're leaving?! Just like that?!" I asked.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Archer asked.

"What? NO!" I shouted.

"Then try not to underestimate my Master. If you're not careful then…" Archer spoke as he turned around to face me and then…

"…He will kill you." Archer declared.

"Ha." I chuckled.

"I'd like to see him try!" I declared with a smirk.

"Hahaha!" Archer laughed.

"Unfortunately, I'm not going to see what happens next. But I hope you are the one who crushes his hopes and dreams." Archer admitted as he unmaterialized and vanished without a trace.

"Hell yeah, I will!" I shouted as I turned around and faced the impressive skyscraper in front of me.

"Then let Operation Kick Ass commence!" Lancer shouted back.

"Idiot." I muttered while smiling as we walked toward the skyscraper and approached the front double doors.

"Lancer." I spoke as I snapped my fingers and then…

'BAM!' The double doors being destroyed created a loud sound as we walked into the building.

"Hey! Get outta here! You're not welcome here!" A man spoke as he rushed over at us.

"AH!" The man gasped and flinched as he saw Lancer. A tall man with blue hair, armor, and most importantly a long, red spear.

"Oh, hell no! This place can go to hell for all I care!" The man yelled as he ran past us and out of the building as fast as he could.

"Hahaha!" Me and Lancer laughed until-

'Ding!' I heard a noise and looked toward its source and realized that it came from the elevator and then…

…A group of six women all wearing maid outfits and carrying weapons came out of the elevator as the doors if it closed behind them.

"OH, HELL YEAH!" Lancer roared as he leaped off the ground and skewered three of the women in front of us like kabobs.

"Take this!" I shouted as I charged up my magic until-

'BAM! BAM! BAM!' I shot three blasts of fire that burnt the three remaining women to ashes. Only five seconds passed, and we already made quick work of all of them.

"Aw. That's disappointing." I complained. All of these women have white hair and red eyes, so it was easy to deduce that they were all homunculi. That rich asshat must have bought all of them from a Mage family who produces them. If I were to guess probably a German family.

"You're damn right. I was expecting more of the-oh shit." Lancer cursed as he realized something I didn't.

"What's wro-fuck." I cursed as I looked at where Lancer was staring at and noticed homunculi flooding out of the elevator.

"Shit! They must all be jumping down the elevator shaft!" I commented as I fired more blasts of fire at them.

'Bang! Bang! Bang!' More homunculi were killed but even more took their place!

"What the fuck?! How many homunculi does this filthy rich mother fucker have?!" I asked.

"Shit! They keep coming!" Lancer spoke as even though he was skewering as many of them as fast as he could they wouldn't stop coming! It's as if when one died, two more took their place!

"This is bad! I'll hold them off! You have to find another way to get to that fucker!" Lancer shouted at me.

"No shit Sherlock!" I snapped back as I dashed toward where the stairs are located. But before I left I-

"Thank you, Lancer." I muttered to myself as I opened the door and slammed it shut. However-

"Fuck." I muttered as I only now realized that I'm going to have to run up all these stairs. And there are probably at least fifty flights of stairs. Just fucking great.

"I'm so going to fuck this guy up." I muttered once more as I had no choice but to traverse all these stairs in order to get to the fucker at the top of them.