Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight. And the song credit goes to New Found Glory.

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"These are my thoughts written down on paper

It's my only savior from not sayin' what I want to say.

These are the thoughts that are on my mind

Moments that haven't yet been defined

And I don't know if you could understand

These are the things I can't say when we're alone."

The Truth Of My Youth

I needed a job. I needed to justify the money my Father had spent on my college education, and I also needed a reason to get out of the house. I was sick of being around when Jake and his friends came back here to raid the kitchen and dirty the house after it had just been cleaned. That was another reason why I needed a job; I needed my own place. I was used to being independent from living in a dorm room for four years, and already I was becoming antsy with my Mom giving me instructions on everything.

So, I headed towards the library. All the jobs I had had in the past had always been in a library; mostly because of my love of books. I loved the smell of books, the look of books, and reading books. I was what people would call a book worm and it didn't bug me one bit because it was true.

The library was easy to find. It was a pretty stone building in the middle of town, flowers lined the sidewalk up to the door, and there was a huge welcome mat at the door. The smell of old books assailed my nose as I stepped inside and the quiet of the library immediately relaxed me. That was another reason I loved libraries; people tended to stay to themselves and keep their mouths shut.

"May I help you?" A graying woman asked from behind the circulation desk.

"Yes, I'm here about the job."

"Are you the young lady that called? Miss Robertson?"

"Yes, that's me." I smiled.

"Mr. Thomas would like to speak with you; if you could follow me."

I waited as she maneuvered from behind the desk and followed behind her towards a door marked: Private. She threw open the door without much hesitation and led me down the hall towards the door at the very end. She knocked on the door and waited for a reply.

"Yes?"

"Miss Robertson is here."

"Send her in."

I was expecting Mr. Thomas to look like my old History professor; thick glasses, thin hair, and a huge stomach. Instead Mr. Thomas looked only a few years older than me; dark framed glasses, thick brown hair, and not an ounce of fat on his stomach. After the door was closed and we were alone, he met my eyes; his blue and sparkling.

"I'm happy you called." He stated. "We could use another person with a love for books like yours."

"Do you want to see my credentials?" I asked.

He smiled, "I already looked in to all of that. I just wanted to go over some basic things today."

"Alright."

"I'm the head librarian, but I would like you to be my assistant so to speak. Starting pay is seven fifty an hour and we're open five days of the week; closed on Mondays and Sundays."

"Seriously? You've just met me."

"Well, if you don't want it…" He grinned.

"No! I want it believe me, I love working in libraries."

"Good." He smiled. "I'm glad I won't be the only one around her anymore that gets excited over a new shipment of books."

I smiled, knowing very well the excitement that filled me whenever I received a new book. It seemed Mr. Thomas was as much as a book worm as I was, and he was good looking.

"Thank you Mr. Thomas."

"Please, call me Derek."

"Okay." I smiled. "So, when do I start?"

***

Most would find the task of inventory a bit tedious, but most people were not me. I spent a good hour on one row carefully inspecting each book and taking the time to read the back covers of the ones I had never read before.

The library was quiet; only a few older people in today since it was the afternoon and most people were at work or school. Maria, the lady behind the circulation desk, was reading a magazine, and Derek was on the phone working out the details of obtaining a new book.

That left me in the in the D's up on a stool examining 'The Count of Monte Cristo' when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned my head and saw that I was practically eye to eye with Paul, who was grinning. How had he figured out I worked here? Oh yeah, Jake, and the fact that this was a small town.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"This is a public place." Paul stated. "Maybe I wanted to check out a book."

"Then go for it." I said and turned back around to continue my work with the D's.

I re-shelved 'The Count of Monte Cristo' very aware that Paul had made no move; instead I could feel his eyes burning into my back; leaving me feeling very self conscious.

"What do you suggest?" He asked.

"Jane Austen." I replied with a chuckle.

"No thanks, I know what that's all about."

"Go to the mystery section or something." I sighed. "I'm kinda busy doing my job right now."

"I need your help finding a book, miss." Paul stated, a smile on his face.

I looked over and saw Derek watching the exchange. Paul, the bastard, knew he was watching. I sighed, put the book back, and stepped down off my stool. I sent Paul a glare and led him towards the mystery section.

"You have a library card right?" I asked suddenly.

"Of course I do, do you think I'm illiterate?" He asked, sounding a bit offended.

"No! I'm just asking; it's part of my job."

We remained silent as I started skimming through titles looking for a book that might actually fit his interests. Then again, did I really know what his interests were? One title caught my eye and I pulled the book out. 'Under the Full Moon.'

"This seems interesting." I mumbled as I pressed the book into his hands.

"Werewolves? Seriously?" He scoffed.

"If that doesn't strike your fancy, find something else."

"No, I'll read it."

"Okay, then if you're done with my assistance I'm going back to work."

He didn't stop me as I stalked back off to the D section where my stool and clipboard were still located. But I found I couldn't concentrate on the row of books, as Paul walked up to the circulation desk and placed his book on the counter for Maria to scan. Then, almost as if he knew I was watching, his head turned in my direction and he smiled at me. Cheeky bastard.

***

The library was deserted, except for Derek and I. It was almost closing time, and I was so close to getting through the N's. I had no idea what Derek was doing, but I could hear him in his office; clearing his throat every now and then.

I was just putting the last book up on the shelf when I heard a loud crash back from Derek's office. I jumped down off my stool and ran back to his office to investigate. There he was lying on the floor, covered in books, laughing his ass off.

"What happened?" I asked as I bent down and started to remove books from him.

"I think I need a better book shelf." He sighed as he started to help me remove the books. "Or maybe I shouldn't climb on it."

"Yeah that's usually a helpful thing." I chuckled and stood back up.

Derek stood up and wiped off the dust that covered his black shirt. He then pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled down at me.

"I think this would probably be a good time to call it a day."

"I agree."

"How far did you get?"

"N's." I replied.

"Want to go get some dinner?"

The teenage Hallie would have already jumped to the conclusion that this was a date, but adult Hallie realized that Derek and I were becoming friends; nothing more. So I smiled and nodded my head.

"Where should we eat?" He questioned.

"I don't really know of any restaurants." I replied.

"That's alright, I have one in mind."

We drove down the main stretch of La Push for about a minute before Derek pulled into the small parking lot of the café. The place wasn't overly crowded; just a few other older couples and employees. Derek and I grabbed a booth and waited for a waitress to come.

"Hallie?"

I glanced up at our waitress and saw Kim smiling down at me. Shouldn't she be on maternity leave already? She looked like she was about to pop.

"Hey Kim." I smiled.

"It's good to see you, and you Derek." Kim smiled. "What can I get you?"

"I'll have my usual." Derek smiled.

"I'll have water and the special."

After she walked away, Derek met my eyes; his blue eyes full of curiosity.

"I'm a regular here, but how do you know Kim?"

"My Mom is marrying Billy Black, and I met her at the bonfire. Her husband is my soon to be stepbrother's friend." I replied.

"I see, I was wondering if you were Robin's daughter."

"Wow, does everyone know my Mom?"

He laughed, "Pretty much. I came here around the same time as your Mom, and she came to the library a lot then before she really met Billy."

"My Mom at the library? She hates reading."

Derek grinned, "She was on the computers mostly."

"Okay, that sounds a bit more like her."

Dinner flew by in amiable conversation and the ride back to my house was pretty short. The porch light was on and I could see my Mom moving around through the front window.

"Thanks Derek, I'll see you tomorrow."

"No problem, see ya."

I got out of his car and watched as he pulled out of the drive. Once he was down the road, I was about to open the door when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Something had run by the house. I turned around and headed around back towards the woods, wondering what the hell that had been. A dog? Well, it most certainly had not been a cat.

But there was no sort of animal in my back yard; instead it was Jake and Paul both bare-chested and fighting about something. Not physically fighting, but Paul sounded pretty angry.

"What is going on back here?" I asked.

"Go inside." Jake ordered.

"What?" I asked, slightly astonished he had spoken to me in that tone of voice.

"Go!" He yelled his voice leaving no room for argument.

Even though every sensible fiber of my being wanted to cross my arms over my chest and demand to know what was going on, I listened to the part of me that was frightened by the tone of voice Jake had just used on me. I wasted no time getting inside and immediately went into my room, slamming the door behind me.

I don't know how long I just sat there before I finally pulled out a book and started reading, still dressed my work clothes. Finally, just as I finished a chapter I heard a knock on my door.

"Yes?"

"Can I come in?" It was Jake.

"I guess so."

He opened the door, walked inside, and sat down on the end of my bed. He looked up into my eyes and I noticed the blood on his face.

"You're bleeding!" I cried.

He wiped the blood away with the palm of his hand impatiently, and I noticed there was no mark on him at all.

"I'm fine." He assured me.

"So is that Paul's blood?"

"No, it's nothing Hallie." He sighed. "Anyway, was that Derek Thomas you were with?"

"Yeah, he's my boss and we had dinner together."

"Are you two involved?"

"No! Jeez, guys and girls can't be friends? Why do you care anyway?" I asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Just wondering; good night."

Then faster than I could blink, he was gone. What the hell had that been about? What had happened in the back yard? And why the hell did Jake care what I did with Derek? I definitely needed my own place.