A/N: WARNING: Implied/Referenced Past Suicide Attempt

- Forks. -

-This is so not gonna end well.- Jasper muttered as he stared at the driveway, watching Charlie and Bella talking, he didn't bother to listen, he knew perfectly well what they were talking about.

The Cullens had decided to move to their house in Canada after the revelation of his own creator being one of the ones who was most bent on on killing him.

He hadn't bothered to answer questions after that. No one should ever know how he came to be nor the reason for his creator to want to kill him…

Magni had all the right to hunt him down...

Renesmee of course wouldn't be going with them to Canada. With how dangerous things were getting she couldn't be with them. The safest place for her for the time being was with Charlie and with the pack.

And Jasper couldn't help but hate how he was responsible for this whole mess… Bella and Edward should be with their daughter. Renesmee shouldn't be forced to be separated from her parents because of him.

None of the Cullens listened to him. Wouldn't understand that being with him would do nothing but bring them nothing but suffering and death.

Now that his existence was in the open there would be no hope of a normal life, not for them and certainly not for him.

The sudden arms around his waist startled him before he recognized the emotional signature and his hands came to rest on top of her hands. Alice's emotions were bittersweet, her cheek resting against his back.

He could tell she wasn't in the best of moods and he could understand. He was not meant to be like Edward. He wasn't meant to run in the name of wanting to protect the person he loved while also causing said person immeasurable pain in the process.

He had sworn to himself that he would never do such a stupid thing. He would never be so selfish and inconsiderated so as to decide if the person in his life would be better off without him without taking into consideration said person's wishes and opinion.

He would never choose what was best for anyone, people were entitled to make their own choices, they got to choose who they wanted and who they didn't want in their lives, only Alice could decide if she wanted him in her life, he had no right whatsoever over stepping over her choices over the people she kept around.

He shouldn't step over her choices…

But this was different. She didn't understand the kind of danger that was looming over the horizon. No one understood what would happen were Magni to find them. At this moment Magni was a bigger threat than the Mikaelson themselves.

So much more dangerous.

And he didn't want to put them in danger.

But what choice did he had when they were all so stubborn? So bent on on staying by his side? Because family never turned their back against each other when needed most.

Before the Cullens and Alice that concept had felt so foreign… family.

All he ever had was his mother and for a long time after Dahlia's lies it had felt like her love and care had been nothing but lies. Like he had never actually had a mother.

He had felt so alone in a world too big. Suffocating. A lot of times he tried to end his life and a lot of times had he failed for Dahlia's spell refused to let him die.

For a long time had he drowned in alcohol and meaningless relationships. Either to not feel a thing at all or to feel something aside from the crushing loneliness and torture that was his existence.

He even threw himself at a pack of werewolves a night of full moon.

He didn't die.

Most scars from his torso and legs and biceps weren't from newborns but from the wolves.

He took grenades in the army, bullets, anything to feel something, hope to die, save a lie in the process, but it didn't matter how many times a grenade explode on him, it didn't matter how many times he got shot in the head.

Nothing could kill him.

And then he became a vampire.

Through such unorthodox and rushed methods he ended up becoming much more of an abomination than he had been already.

-Jazz?- Alice's voice caught his attention.- If it comes to it… If you decide to sneak out to go looking for Malivore… would you come back? Please? Even if I don't remember you, would you still come back to me? I know you like it here, don't throw it all away because you feel like you have to, no one blames you for anything.

Each word that came out of her stabbed Jasper like a knife. Slicing his heart and making him bite his tongue. He had never meant to hurt her. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

He turned around between her arms, his hands coming to rest on her cheeks, his thumb stroking her jaw as he stared into her sad golden eyes.

He wanted to stare at her beautiful face while he still could. Wanted to feel her skin and drink in her emotions. Bathe in the warmness that made his chest feel all fuzzy.

Because if he did left he didn't think he could do what she asked of him. What would be the point of coming back to people who didn't remember him? In the past he hadn't cared who forgot him seeing that he had nothing to lose.

This time around?

This time around he felt claustrophobic over the idea of being forgotten. Of Alice never feeling love for him again. Happiness. Excitement. That when she saw him all she saw was a stranger who wouldn't stop staring at her. What if he became a creep to her eyes? Ugly? Disgusting? What if this time around she didn't like what she sees? What if this time around she saw him for what he truly was?

A monster.

He didn't want to lose Alice like that.

He didn't want to lose the Cullens, didn't want to be erased from their memories. He had known that sooner or later he might be forced to take a different path from this wonderful life if he wanted to protect those he loved.

But not like this, never like this, he didn't want to be forgotten.

He didn't want their memories of him to disappear, because if he disappeared from their memories, if no one was there to remember the good things he did…

Who would remind him that the world wasn't so dark? Who would remind him that he could be good? That it wasn't all a dream? An illusion of his broken mind?

-'m sorry.- Is all he manages to say before he's pulling her into a hug, he buried his nose into the crook of her neck, taking in a deep breath and taking in as much of her scent as he could.

Because he didn't want to be forgotten, of all possible punishments the universe could give him, of all the things he could endure, being forgotten by the people he loved wasn't it.

He didn't want to be forgotten. He didn't want to go back to Malivore. He didn't want to and he refused to go back. He wouldn't go back to that endless darkness. He didn't want to go back. For once in his life he wanted to be selfish enough to keep what he wanted.

But was someone like him allowed to be selfish?

-I don't wanna go back there.- He muttered with a voice he couldn't even recognize as his own. Weak. Pathetic. Shameful. He couldn't even take on a bit of pain for those he claimed to love.

-You don't have to if you really don't want to, no one is asking that of you, no one here would ever ask that of you.- Alice said softly as her hand came to rest at the back of his head. Of course she didn't want to forget him, who in their right mind would want to forget the love of their life?

Not Alice.

She couldn't bear the idea of forgetting her memories with him. The first time she saw him in that vision. The first time she saw him in that diner. The kisses. The touches. The laughter. The anger. She didn't want to forget any of it.

Not even for the sake of others. Call her selfish but she refused to lose the first person to ever made her feel like there was nothing wrong with her, like she wasn't as alone as she had first thought, she had waited for him for so long, had taken her even longer to get him to feel comfortable around her.

She couldn't lose him.

The thought of losing him felt claustrophobic. Like someone was threatening to tear her heart out. What would she do without him? What would she do without his smiles and his reassuring presence? Without the ever present warmness in the air whenever he walked into a room she was in? Without the paintings made out of flowers. The poems. The songs. The looks. Just him in general.

What would she do without someone who made her feel alive?

She didn't want to lose that.

But part of her had always known too, that she would one day have to accept that she might have to say goodbye, Jasper was the original, there were things not even she might be able to see coming, things out of her control…

But she never expected it would be like this. With no warning whatsoever, in just a blink their lives were turned upside down, their peace, destroyed.

It made her throat burn and her chest ache as frustration and impotence pooled deep within her chest. Her fingers gripped his shirt as she buried her face into his chest.

She wasn't ready to let him go, not now, not ever, who would even be ready to accept that their other half might have to disappear from the face of the Earth?

The warmness of his love drapped over her like a comfort blanket. It made her feel all fuzzy and less like the world was coming to an end.

But not even that could quell her anxiety completely.

Still.

She hugged him tighter.

They stayed like that for a while, just relinquishing in each other's emotions and proximity, like nothing in the world mattered but them, nothing else existed.

The sudden clearing of a throat broke them out of their bubble. Esme stood by the doorframe, a sad look on her face.

-We are ready.

-Alright.- Alice said.

Jasper for his side sighed but still nodded.

~

Getting into a plane wasn't that hard nor was it finding seats together. Forks was, after all, a small town.

Carlisle had had a hard time convincing Sam from not sending wolves with them. That would just make them even more suspicious for other vampires.

This whole situation was still a bit hard to process. He was willing to accept that Jasper was the original but a lot of things were hard to digest regardless of his resolution on keeping his son safe.

Like the link issue. That was something he still wasn't sure if to approach or not. How to even approach it.

Because for what Jasper had said Carlisle had the feeling that poisonous vampires weren't the only ones who wanted to get rid of the link.

"He was tired of how life was turnin' out to be with the world at his throat. If he fred me from the spell I would help him start anew in a world where no one knew who he was."

"I didn't make any deals, I just let myself be devoured, I didn't knew if I would die or not, all I knew is that I could no longer bear with havin' what felt like the entire world comin' after me."

The reminder of Jasper's words did nothing but tie his stomach into an even tighter knot.

Even more so over the fact that Jasper had admitted to having attempted to end his life. Be it on purpose or not it didn't erase the fact that he had been willing to kill himself if that meant freeing himself from the weight that came with being an original.

He wasn't like the Mikaelson.

He didn't had siblings to come to his rescue or serve as a living warning to not touch him for more would come to his rescue and kill those who dared to touch him. He had had no one to protect him. Even now, Carlisle doubted they could actually protect him.

He could see it… this whole mess. It was weighing him down, and for some reason Carlisle couldn't understand, Jasper took it without protest.

If Klaus Mikaelson's sire line managed to free itself from his link without killing him in the process, who said the same couldn't be done with Jasper? At this point Carlisle didn't care much about the link. If there was anyone he trusted with his family's lives, that was certainly Jasper.

But he knew that as long as Jasper was tied to the sire line he would be so much easier to find and he would be hunted in order to be locked God knows where.

Carlisle wanted to break the link in order to save him.

Not that freeing him would change the fact of who he was and the abilities he knew he must have.

But at least he would be safe, it would be harder for people to find him, the poisonous vampires might stop seeking him out, the Volturi might stop seeking him out.

At least give up on locking him. Because Carlisle knew that now that the Volturi knew who Jasper was there would be no force on Earth capable of keeping them from attempting to get their hands on him.

And that…

God.

Carlisle had no idea what to do with that fact. Jasper managed to get rid of them but that didn't mean they wouldn't come back, the Volturi always found them.

And there was also the issue with Jasper's creator; Magni. He had refused to give more information about that man. Just that he wanted to kill him and that he knew how to manage that, he was the only one who actually knew how to kill him, not close death calls or mortal injuries, actually kill him.

It was a frightening thought if Carlisle was being honest.

And a sad one too.

What kind of creator would want to kill their own creation?

But Jasper's eyes had told him that there might be a story behind that, a story he wasn't willing to share with anyone, not even if the world was burning down.

Not even with Alice.

~

Jasper had long ago grown used to sitting in a plane… kind of… it depended mostly on the amount of time he was meant to stay there, he could stand the torture of heartbeats and blood flowing for an hour or whatever the flight took to get them to Canada, the emotional signatures…

Well, at least he was glad this time around there weren't babies nor toddlers like last time he got into an airplane.

He sat by the window, he always liked sitting by the window, it made him feel less caged, like he could actually get out if he wanted to, no one was trapping him, he wasn't trapped, he could get out if he wanted to.

The first time he had to get into an airplane it hadn't ended well. Having to sit so still and being unable to get up with nowhere to see but the four walls around him had made him have the first and last breakdown ever around the Cullens.

He was pretty sure they up to this day thought it had been an anxiety attack, probably couldn't handle being in an enclosed space with so many humans.

He could handle being around humans for a limited amount of time. He wasn't that weak.

What he couldn't handle was being restricted in a place.

Even more so if said place was so small.

But it would be faster and safer to get to Canada by plane than by car.

A good thing about this was also the fact that this time around he didn't had Emmett behind him kicking the seat just to get on his nerves. He trusted Bella was less childish.

Alice was at his side squeezing his hand. Her touch made him feel as grounded as the clouds outside did.

-So…

Emmett's voice caught his attention and he glanced up where Emmett was doing a great job at acting like an oversized child by staring at him from the seat infront of him, crossed arms over the head of the seat.

-So, what?- He asked narrowing his eyes, the giddiness and curiosity in Emmett's emotions didn't give him a good feeling, much less the fact that he was speaking so low, low enough no human could ever fathom to hear him.

But vampires could.

-Was it true? Can you like, destroy gifts with a bite? Because I would totally pay you to bite Edward.- Emmett said half serious half joking.

Rosalie at his side raised an eyebrow at the audacity of Emmett's request, though she wasn't gonna lie, that did sound tempting, a life free of Edward sticking his nose into other people's business.

Jasper for his side frowned at Emmett's words. Edward's irritation flared behind him and he bit back a smirk.

-It wasn't true. As far as 'm aware I can't get rid of gifts nor can I kill with a bite. But the Volturi don't know that so…- He shrugged with a smirk.

-What can you then?- Emmett's question wasn't malicious nor was it demanding. He was just curious if not a bit fascinated over the fact that he had the original before him.

Jasper found it amusing.

Still.

-What can I do?- He questioned faking ignorance.

-Yeah. Can't the Mikaelson compel other vampires? The sun doesn't kill them either and their resilience towards magic is above average. There's also the fact that their strength and speed are over the charts. Your strength and speed are above average, I know that well, but what else can you do? As an original you certainly must have a secret weapon, right? Like that voice thing you did.

-I can't compel people if that's what you're insinuatin'. I can induce submission through fear but that's 'bout it. I can't make people do or forget things. And it only works on poisonous vampires.

The wave of fascination wasn't something he was quite prepared for. It made him feel funny, he had expected fear, wariness, not fascination.

-Pity, I would pay to see the Mikaelson shaking Bambi style like you did with the Volturi.

Jasper scoffed but even he had to admit that that was an interesting thought. The Mikaelson shaking and cowering in fear because of him… for some reason that wasn't a pleasing thought. He wasn't a particular fan of forcing submission upon others without a valid reason.

But he did admit it would be hilarious.

-What about the rest? Or is that voice all?

Telling people about his unusual characteristics wasn't something Jasper did for a lot of reasons. But that question irked at his pride. Is that all? Of course it wasn't! But he couldn't let his pride talk for that could bring lots of trouble.

For him of course.

And the less the Cullens knew the safer they would be.

-I got fangs.- Was what he said instead. Emmett's face made him bite back a snicker. He could feel the flaring curiosity, surprise, amusement, awe…

It was an interesting atmosphere.

-Dude that's so cool. How come did I not get them?

-Original privileges.- Jasper smirked at Emmett's childish pout. To be honest he had no idea why did he kept fangs, though he guessed some things were meant to go wrong when the spell hadn't been complete when casted.

A lot of things had gone wrong because of that.

Incomplete spells brought nothing but messes for those who dared to mess with unstable magic.

He had known that.

Magni had known that.

She had known that.

But no one had wanted to listen to him.

No one would have had to listen to him had he been less reckless in the first place. He should have sucked it up. Should have just accepted that he would never be able to escape Dahlia.

But he didn't.

And because of that he destroyed people's lives.

~

Italy, Volterra -

-Sir, the Cullens have left Forks.- A brunette man informed as he came to stand before Aro.

-Where to?- Aro asked. His usual smile was nowhere to be seen and that did nothing but make him look even more frightening than usual.

-Canada, Calgary. The original was with them and so were the mind reader, the shield and the clairvoyant. The hybrid was left with a human, though the wolves were watching the house from afar.

-I don't care about the hybrid.- Aro snapped harshly as he abruptly stood up, he was still seething over what had happened with the Cullens, he shouldn't have been so confident, should have known that the original of their sire line wouldn't be so easy to take down.

But he would get him.

This time around he was prepared to take him down and not even Alice would be able to see it coming. Thanks to Jane's wit avoiding her gift would be easier.

-I found it.- Came Caius' voice as he entered the hall with a triumphant grin and a blackish branch from a tree resting on his shoulder.

-A branch?- Jane questions with a tone that perfectly called Caius an idiot.

-No, it was hard but I got it, our girl from the Salvatore School finally managed to overhear the most wonderful phone call, apparently, black oak can hurt the original of our sire line.- Caius told as a statement of fact. It had been a great idea to sneak a spy into that unusual school, red vampires were so easy to buy.

-Are you stupid? Why the hell would we want to risk killing him?- Jane refuted harshly.

-You do realize we can attack his legs or arms right?- Caius asked as if she was stupid.- Even then, I though we had managed to strike a deal with those red vampires, they help us take him down and in exchange they get to do whatever they want with him, in our grounds, under supervision, to make sure they don't kill him.

-You sure she heard the right information?- Aro questioned as he approached the branch to inspect it better.

-Of course. The phone call was between one of the Siphon witches. She was speaking with the tribid, you know, Klaus' daughter.- Caius reminded.- Also, the Mikaelson have apparently left New Orleans.

-If the Mikaelson know how to kill him and where he is then we are running out of time.- Was all Aro said. They had to act fast, had to get to the original before the Mikaelson did.

And if Aro had to make a third attempt against the original's life to take him down, then so be it.

The red vampires from the deal he had struck would take him down even if the Volturi couldn't.

And when Aro had him he would make him regret having ever thought he could step over the Volturi.

No one was above him.

No one.

~

Somewhere In Colorado -

One good thing about having a vampire driving it was that there were no stops for sleep nor switching drivers.

But there were still stops to replenish on food and gas.

Keelin had had to practically drag Freya out of the car so she could go stir her legs and get some food for them in the process while she took care of the gas.

She was now leaning against the car with an amused smile as she read the text Hope had sent her. Apparently, it had taken nothing but five hours exactly before the rest of the Mikaelson were following after Freya.

She couldn't imagine Kol and Klaus being stuck in the same car for hours. That had to be driving Rebekah up the walls, though if Elijah was there she guessed there were still hopes for them to not end up in a car crash.

Finn walked past her with a grimace and said nothing as he got back into the car. She didn't need to smell the stench of blood coming from him to know the reason behind the attitude.

Of all the Mikaelson Finn was the one who seemed to hate with a passion that of drinking blood. He didn't feed as much as the others and whenever he did he would get in such a mood.

And God forbid Davina was anywhere near him when he was in one of those moods.

When Kol and Davina first came to the Mikaelson Residence after this whole mess began it had taken Klaus, Elijah, Freya and Rebekah to hold Finn back from attacking Davina.

For what Freya told her Davina had apparently locked him in his own body, he couldn't jump bodies anymore, couldn't attempt to start anew as a witch, just another reason to add to the endless list of reasons why the Mikaelson seriously needed a therapist.

Don't get her wrong, she loved Freya and she was on perfectly good terms with her family, but Keelin wasn't stupid nor blind, anyone with eyes could clearly see that the Mikaelson needed both family therapy and individual therapy, look at Klaus, Camille had made him so much more better than he previously was, she might have not been his therapist but she had definitely made him see the world on a different perspective.

But wishing for them to get help was easier said than done.

It made Keelin feel bad for them.

Even more so because there were issues among them that neither of them seemed to be willing to acknowledge.

No one acknowledged the reason for Klaus or Finn to be so against small spaces or even locked in a room for too long. No one acknowledged the reason for Kol to get so destructive when there was no other option but fresh blood for him to take.

Or when Elijah when had those little panic attacks over seeing red vampires burn. How Rebekah clearly had separation anxiety when it came to her siblings. Even Freya got all panicky when she didn't see any of her siblings for too long. How Elijah couldn't even up to this day look at Hope in the eyes despite the fact that she had forgiven him.

But the Mikaelson would be Mikaelson and God forbid those idiots had a heart to heart outside of a life or death situation.

Keelin just hoped her son wouldn't inherit that trait. She wanted him to be able to tell her whenever something upset him. That when something went wrong he would come to her rather than think he could handle it alone or hide it so as to not evoke her anger or disappointment.

The sound of a bell caught her attention and she smiled as she saw her wife walk out of the store with two bags of junk food.

-Now we don't have to stop for nothing but bathroom and gas.- Freya told as a statement of fact, Keelin opened the door and Freya passed her one of the bags, pulling out a blueberry popsicle from the bag she was still holding before walking up to the driver's side and offering it to Finn.

He gave her a funny look but still took it.

-Thanks.

It wasn't a spoken thing but Finn had grown to realize that whenever he fed off blood, there would Freya be, sooner or later, with blueberries, be it in pastries, sweets, desert or just the fruit, she would be there with it.

He found it heartwarming that she still remembered his love for blueberries. He remembers when both of them would sneak out to steal a handful of blueberries while their parents still slept. How she would bring them to him whenever he felt particularly down or sick.

As a vampire blueberries had become… kind of like his comfort food, as humans would say.

He liked them most to chase away the taste of blood in his mouth, it made him feel more…

Human.

It reminded him of a time where life wasn't so horrible. When his parents loved each other and their children more than the world could ever understand.

A time where his father would swing them around on his arms or chase them around, not with rage in his eyes but with amusement. Where he would carry them on his shoulders and pat his back in comfort whenever he didn't hit the target with the arrow. How he would take the time to teach him an easier method to swing a sword around without letting the weight bring him to the ground. When crying wasn't met with a slap to the face or failure with words that sliced like a knife through his chest.

But those times were gone.

Were gone the moment Dahlia tore Freya from them.

Her screams had haunted Finn for a long time, still did despite the fact that he had his sister back with him. He had stopped sleeping centuries ago for a reason.

Because if he didn't sleep he wouldn't have to hear her screams, if he didn't sleep he wouldn't have to feel so weak, so useless, he wouldn't have to stand back and watch as his sister, his best friend, was taken away.

He had sworn to himself to become stronger after that. Be the best of the best to support his mother. Be the best of the best to make his father proud. If he was the best of the best he could ignore that bitterness that clawed beneath his skin and at the back of his head.

If he was the best of the best he could ignore the guilt over having to lie to his father about his sister's demise. If he was the best of the best he could ignore how much it hurt to watch his father become a heartless monster because of the pain.

If he was the best of the best he could ignore the crushing and overwhelming guilt that threatened to sear his skin off over having taken part on Mikael becoming such a demon.

Because deep down.

Finn had always felt like had he tried less to be the perfect son, to put excuses for his mother's actions, maybe, just maybe, he might have been able to save his family from becoming demons.

If he had focused on being a better brother over a better son…

He might have been able to avoid a lot of things.

But now it was too late for regrets.

He had to work with what he had and face the consequences of his actions.

A thing he was thankful for was that it didn't matter how much of an ass had he been his siblings had still forgiven him, mostly thanks to Freya, but still…

Their forgiveness did nothing but make him feel even worse.

He had called them demons, but Finn knew, that the worst of them all wasn't Klaus, not even Kol, not Elijah.

But him.

He was the worst of them all.

And because of that Finn had long ago come to the resolution that he would spend his cursed and eternal life hoping to make things right between them.

Hoping to make himself worth of their forgiveness.

He knew he had a long road ahead with thousands of obstacles, but he didn't care.

He was willing to give his cursed life a second chance.