"That was a great idea with the barbecue, Renee."

"Of course it was. It's the end of March and most people don't barbecue until like, you know, summer, but what's the fun in that? Barbecue should be year-round."

Nadine grinned as Renee turned off the tank on her Grill-Master 3000. The two women were standing in Renee and Nick's backyard, the sun setting behind them. They'd just thrown the first baby shower for Nadine, and in Renee's mind, it had been a huge success. "Everyone likes barbecue, Nadine. Plus it gave the illusion to the men that this was not a hen party. It was simply a backyard gathering, where we were giving you and Greg presents for the baby."

"Call me hormonal, but that sounds like a baby shower to me," Nadine replied, pressing a hand to the underside of her belly as she peered closer at the propane tank. At six and a half months pregnant, mobility was becoming a bit of an issue but Nadine handled it as best as she could. "Why did we even invite the men from the lab again? All they did was stand around talking about work."

"They're Greg's friends, and they care about you."

"Uh-huh."

"Plus I threatened Nick with no sex for a month if he didn't get them to show."

"There it is," Nadine laughed as Renee stood up and they went inside to finish cleaning things up, now that the last of their guests had left. Nadine lowered herself into a chair as Renee puttered around in the kitchen, tidying up food and nibbling on leftovers.

"Seriously, I think they just want to know that you're doing okay after everything that's happened in the last little while, you know, Greg being assaulted and the dropping of the lawsuit from the fanny-smacking incident."

"Well we are, thank God. You're an amazing counsellor, Renee, you really are, and as much as I'm sure Greg felt weirded out going to his little sister so his head could be screwed on straight, I know it helped him."

"Yeah, so now we can focus on the good things, like the baby. Have you found out the sex yet?" Renee asked over her shoulder

"No, we want to be surprised. It's old fashioned I know, but we like to be surprised like that, since I never thought I'd get pregnant."

"Well you'll be a great mother. Want some tea?"

Nadine arched an eyebrow. "For someone who doesn't want kids, you're being awful mother-hen with me."

"I never said I don't want kids, I just don't want them right now. Having kids means no popping off to Reno for an out of town weekend at the last minute or R-rated movies on cinema night, or you know…sex on the kitchen table if we like." Renee howled with laughter as she saw Nadine scoot her chair away from the stained oak slab. "That's just a for instance, Nadine, it never happened."

"I'm sure it didn't," was the murmured non-believing response from Nadine, noticing how Renee coloured a bit as she'd said it. "Well, Greg and I never tried that so I know we won't miss it much. The bathtub, though, that I will miss."

"Bathtub, you say?"

"Think of it like a sleeping bag meets a Jacuzzi. Greg would call me his Playboy Mer-Mate of the Month," Nadine smiled as she accepted a mug of hot green tea from Renee, then went deathly quiet.

"What is it?"

"No, it's silly. I was just thinking of how my body is going to change so much, and Greg always calls me his…sexy French goddess," she finished in a rush, forgetting a moment the woman she was spilling her heart out to was, in fact, Greg's sister. "And he still has all his semi-pornographic music magazines."

"Ah, well, that's just Greg; he drools over anything with breasts."

"And a flat stomach, which as I told him, is on hiatus as of right now."

"Now that is the hormones talking, sweetie," Renee told her future sister-in-law. Grabbing her own cup of tea, Renee pulled up the chair across from Nadine and grabbed a small green bottle out of her purse while lifting Nadine's feet into her lap. "Your brain is on overload. You need one of my famous foot massages."

"Oh really…oh my sweet lord above," Nadine moaned as Renee rubbed the cooling aloe gel over the arch of her foot, "that is better than chocolate."

"Most people say they're better than sex."

"Not possible, especially when you've got super charged pregnancy hormones rushing through your body. All I can think about is sex, night and day, twenty four seven."

"Really?"

"Let's just say that the book Greg gave you at Christmas, the Sex for Dummies, well we kinda took a few of those moves for a test drive." Nadine turned so red for a split second Renee thought her face might implode. Then Nadine's nerves were instantly soothed, for Renee had let out a long and loud laugh and was wiping tears from her eyes.

"So long as you tell me you didn't try that thing from chapter nine with the-"

"Bananas?" Nadine finished off, enjoying the slight look of horror on Renee's face.

"Oh no. Just…oh no."

"I take it you found out they're a good additive in those aphrodisiac fruit shakes," Nadine said smoothly, a perfectly calm look on her face that last for about two seconds before both women burst out laughing. "What did you think I meant?"

"Nevermind."

"Perverted child."

"Pregnant ho."

This set off a fresh round of laughing, so much so that neither woman saw their lovers walk in through the front door. Nick and Greg exchanged a look between them that seemed to say, who gets the net and who fetches the wagon; it ended in a quick Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who would ask the question.

"Ladies, what is so funny?" Nick ventured, wandering over to kiss Renee and give Nadine's tummy a rub.

"Renee, could you remind your boyfriend I am not a Buddha and I will in fact bite his fingers off at the knuckle if he keeps doing that?"

Sensing the tone in Nadine's voice, Greg leapt in to switch the subject. "We've finished loading the presents into the car. Do you want to go home and take a nap before we head out?"

"Yeah, probably a good idea."

Greg pulled Nadine to her feet, wrapped an arm around her waist. "We're going to San Gabriel for the weekend, Mom is having another shower for her," he explained to his sister, "and before you say it, she knows you have a last-minute court date; she will have one there where you can attend after the baby's born."

They said their good-byes, and try as she did, Nadine could not snap out of her funk. When they got home, Nadine was ready to kill him, but Greg took no notice of her apparent distress.

"You go stretch out, sweetheart; I'm just going to catch up on my reading." Greg had pulled one of his magazines from a stack on the coffee table and flopped down on the couch.

"Of course you are," she muttered, stomping into the bedroom, not noticing that Greg had gotten up and followed her. She ran full into him when she turned around to slam the door shut. "What do you want?"

"To know why you're so pissed off, all of a sudden."

"I'm not pissed off."

"Honey, I know that look, yes you are."

"Don't call me honey," Nadine snapped, yanking her sweater over her head. She caught sight of herself briefly in the mirror. It was official, she was a fatty; her pregnant belly was poking out farther than her boobs. Then maybe because of the hormones or the sight of her changing body, she burst into tears.

At a loss, the best answer Greg could come up with was to cross over to Nadine and wraps his arms around her shoulders from behind. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fat," she wailed, "I'm fat and hideous and not sexy, and the other girls are!"

"What other girls?"

"In your magazines! They've got twenty-three inch waists and double-D knockers and…and I don't!"

"Au contraire, sweet pea," he said, cradling her breasts in his hands. "Your knockers are perfect, like grapefruits."

"But my belly looks like a watermelon! Who wants to make love to a watermelon?"

"Is that what this is about?"

Nadine shoved her way out of his grip, wheeled on him. "Of course it is you moron! I've never been more insecure about my looks in my life and you're drooling over your big-breasted bimbos in Stuff and FHM, when I'm action-packed with hormones right here in front of you!"

"I know you are, Nadine."

"Then why haven't you touched me since my doctor's appointment last week?"

"Because I'm scared to!"

That one had Nadine stopping cold. "What?"

"After seeing it on the sonogram with like, you know hands and feet," Greg tried to explain, "I didn't know if it was a good idea to...you know…"

"Why would you think having sex during a pregnancy is a bad thing, Greg?"

"What if it gets brain damage from the poking and stuff? Or you know, what if it doesn't like being invaded and tries to rip it off?"

Nadine pressed her lips together, knowing it was all over if she laughed at him with that worried look on his face. Instead, she walked over and kissed Greg

"I just thought it was because I'm getting ugly and fat."

"You're not fat, and you're definitely not ugly; you've even got that glowing thing going on."

"Really?"

Relieved the storm had passed Greg pulled Nadine onto the bed, so they were lying on their sides and Greg was stroking a hand over Nadine's tummy. "So, are you sure that it's okay for us to keep up our…bedroom activities?"

"I've never known you to be so coy about sex, Greg."

"Yeah well…it's got ears now, and you don't know if it can hear us or not."

"Well remember, it's also got hands now, so he or she can put them to his head if need be."

"Really?"

"No, you idiot!" Nadine giggled. "God I love you."

Greg smiled back, then started prodding Nadine so she rolled over onto her other side so she was facing away from him.

"What are you doing?"

"Learning to work around the watermelon." Greg slid a hand under her t-shirt, caressed the underside of her breast. "Still feel like having a nap?"

Nadine bit her lip as the hormones began to pick up tempo once again. "Not at all."