a/n: This one is a product of having a little too much alone time this spring break. I have been cooped up in my house for six days now doing crappy projects for school even though I am on spring break. What's wrong with that picture? I don't know ALL OF IT. Ok, anyway here's a new chappie for you guys. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. I think I need help. Oh well (One WEEK ONE till new eppies start Yay!!!!!!!

TOP TEN STUPIDEST COMMENTS:

10--sga--

One evening a certain Lt. was planning on meeting one of the hotter female scientists on a secluded balcony. He beat her to it and walked out to find it occupied by none other than his boss and his boss's boss making out rather passionately. Sheppard and Weir immediately brake apart when they see him enter.

Lt: whistles then realizes neither look real happy…'Oh crap.'

Sheppard: 'I would leave now if I were you Lt.'

Lt: 'Yeah I think I am gonna go wash my brain out with soap now.'

Sheppard: 'Sounds like a plan…. I'm sure you can find some industrial strength stuff somewhere.'

Lt: backing away nodding 'Colonel….Dr. Weir'

9--sga--

The team plus a field medic is headed back to the gate after having an unproductive meeting with the locals. They had been trying to trade medicines for food. Let's just say the locals didn't like the Atlantean voodoo they brought with them. It is a really long way back to the gate though.

Medic: 'I spy with my little eye' looks around at surroundings. They are in an open field but he sees something glinting in the sunlight. 'Something shiny.'

McKay: 'Shiny?'

Sheppard looks around and yells at them: 'Get down!'

Arrows whiz overhead.

Medic: It appears we are under fire!

McKay: You think?!? Thank you Dr. Obvious.

8--sga--

One afternoon the entire control room team was compromised of women and they started discussing their favorite males of the expedition; one in particular.

Techie 1: 'Yeah but his hair is sooo cute.'

Techie 2: 'I know the rakish look is totally hot.'

Techie 3: 'Have you seen his butt?'

Techie 4: 'We can't forget the smile either. Oh… I'd die for that smile to be directed at me!'

Weir comes into the control room from her office: 'Umm…you realize you are on citywide don't you?'

Techie 2: 'Oh…' stops leaning on the control panel.

Weir: But I do agree he does have a killer smile.

The whole room starts cracking up.

Sheppard and McKay are in the mess. They along with the rest of the city have just heard that whole thing.

Sheppard: Ok…that was weird.

McKay: Hmm

Sheppard: Why are you staring at my hair?

McKay: It is rakish… so you never did answer Lucius's question. How do you get your hair to go like that?

Sheppard realizing they were talking about him: Oh crap.

Lorne walking by: Nice butt sir.

Sheppard: Can it major!

7--sga--

Marine while sparring with Ronon: So when are you gonna ask her?

Ronon: What?

Marine: Come on its obvious….you and Teyla.

Ronon: Mind your own business.

Marine: Sure……….but you two are so great together.

Ronon proceeds to beat the crap outta him. He heads towards the gym door and turns back to the marine lying on the mat in pain.

Ronon: Hmm thanks for the advice I'll think about it. Like I said earlier though…mind your own business.

Marine on the mat grunts back and give him a thumbs up: Sure….no prob big guy.

6--sga--

In an extra lab some scientists are examining new artifacts brought back by Lorne's team on their last mission. They aren't making much headway. The first one is investigating some boxy looking thing covered in buttons.

Scientist 1: I wonder what this button does….he presses it and the boxy thing starts humming……HIT THE DECK!

'BOOM'. The whole thing explodes just as the two dive out of the way.

Scientist 2: I guess we now know what NOT to press.

Scientist 1: You're not going to tell McKay about this are you? Both shudder

Scientist 2: I won't if you won't.

5--sga--

The team and some marines are camping out on a potential beta site planet.

Marine 1: Eww what is this stuff? Stares suspiciously at his bowl

Marine 2: I think it's called 'Tuttle root soup'.

Marine 1: More like 'Tuttle poop soup.'

Marine 2: Ahh I wouldn't mention that to the chief.

Marine 1: Why who made it?

Teyla: I did. She walks over to the two marines.

Marine 2: Oh look at the time….. I have guard duty now. Good luck buddy. He jumps up and leaves quickly.

Marine 1: Oh…hi Teyla. Just kidding about the whole Tuttle poop soup. It's really great. Struggles to swallow a spoonful.

Teyla: Oh…then here have seconds. She adds twice as much to his bowl.

4--sga--

Newb 1: What that funny ringing noise.

Newb 2: Yeah it's starting to get pretty annoying.

McKay: You morons! That's the alarm bell!

McKay muttering to himself: The kind of help the Daedalus sends these days.

3--sga--

Newbie scientist: Ahh I keep hearing these voices inside my head. I think I am going crazy Doctor.

Dr. Heightmeyer: Umm. That's your comm. link.

Newb: Oh….well that explains a lot.

2--sga--

Techie: 'Uh…a bunch of flashing red dots just appeared on the screen. Is that a bad thing?'

McKay: 'YES that's a bad thing. Those are wraith hive ships. And they're headed this way!'

1--sga--

Sheppard, McKay, and another scientist are headed back in a jumper after investigating an unidentified object floating four hours outside their planet's atmosphere. They still have two hours to go until they get back and things are heating up between Sheppard and the scientist. For once McKay is being quiet working on his data pad while watching the exchange.

Scientist: Are we there yet?

Sheppard: No

Scientist: Can I drive?

Sheppard: No

Scientist: Colonel…can I call you John?

Sheppard: NO!

Scientist in a whiny voice: I'm hungry.

Sheppard almost at end of his rope: SHUT…UP….please

Scientist: Hey…that's not very nice!...So how much longer are we talking?

Sheppard: Rodney stop laughing. This ISN'T funny!

McKay: You're right…it isn't funny….it's freakin' hilarious.

Sheppard: That's it! Do I need to pull this jumper over?