Top Ten 'Do's' and 'Don'ts' of Geek-sitting:

(Posted on the notice board in the mission prep room)

--Attention all military types! Since you commonly get stuck escorting scientists on offworld missions, it's important to know some basic tips for watching/protecting your "geek." Keeping these in mind will help to preserve some of your sanity and bring everyone back home in relatively one piece.--

10. Don't think that you can get out of geek-sitting duty by appealing. It won't work, and you'll just get stuck with more as punishment. Not every mission can be exciting and dangerous. (Actually, many milk-run missions go pear-shaped so your odds of action are good.)

9. Do try to keep your geek up to date on basic training. This way, when you inevitably get caught in a fire-fight with them, they can provide ample distractions as they shoot wildly so you can neutralize the threat.(Although, McKay's aim is getting slightly better.)

8. Don't ever let your geek take point, they will probably lead you into a trap, fall down a hole, or wind up swinging upside down—yelling loudly for you to get them down. (When this happens, you don't always have to rush though…safety first!)

7. Do remind them that sometimes it's not worth the risk of losing a life simply to try and retrieve some data from a fallen data pad.

6. Don't forget to figure out what motivates your geek; be it something they are afraid off, flattery, sarcastic jabs at their intelligence…… (Creating impossible situations that play on McKay's ego always work well.)

5. Do keep your geek on task; otherwise your three hour mission turns into six FUN-Filled-Hours of geek-sitting. (Takin' Care of Business…..)

4. Don't make them too angry on an offworld mission, because they can mess with complicated systems to Gerry-rig a source of retribution. (They are Geeks after all…you don't want to end up without hot water for a week.)

3.Do be carefully of what your geek gets into, and always be prepared to run if what they are messing with seems like it's about to blow up. (There are some obvious signs; blinking lights, smoking consoles, blaring alarms, strange energy readings that seem to be building up. They all mean Run fast—NOW!)

2. Don't annoy your geek TOO much, because sometimes they do come up with brilliant plans to save everyone's collective hides. (Some teasing is not only permissible, but required to motivate your geek).

1. Don't EVER let your geek die—especially if you are guarding a geek that doesn't belong to you!

--By following some of these handy hints, your offworld missions should go smoother to a certain degree. Remember, finding new geeks is not as easy as it seems, so let's try to return them in one piece if possible. --