Top Ten Coolest Useless Devices the Ancients Left Behind:
a/n: Because they have to have found SOMETHING left over in the city to put on a shelf labeled: useless junk—no touchy!
10. Weather Changer: McKay found this one and after figuring out that it changed the climate in a contained area, John decided to use it to help their Christmas party. He wanted to make a room for them to have a snowball fight (go figure). Well, after ten-thousand years without use, the thing was a little temperamental. Instead of one room, covered in light snow they got a blizzard that swept an entire level! After that, John wasn't allowed to play Jack Frost again.
9. Presentation Color Changing Laser Pointer:Sadly, this device had the nasty side effect of burning holes if it was pointed at one spot for two long. John found this out the hard way during a meeting when he shone it at Rodney's forehead slightly too long.
8. Shrink-o-nator: Very handy device for packing large quantities of items in small spaces; just don't plan on ever using them again because the science team still hasn't figured out how to reverse the process!
7. Mega Shredder: Great for disposing just about anything. Beware of the spinning blades of doom. Hazardous to hands if they get too close.
6. Chair in a Jar: Wonderful for camping trips or setting up a portable workstation. However, it doesn't ever seem to fit back in the jar, and turns into jelly after getting wet. So, don't take it outside if it's going to rain!
5. Chemi-chameleon: Great for camouflaging just about anything. The problem lies with the fact that the "undo" button still doesn't work.
4. Fun-Sized Gates: A novel idea, but hard when you can only send things about the size of a shoebox through the gate. On the plus side though, it uses only a fraction of the power! (I could see getting one of these in a Happy Meal.)
3. Ancient Mr. Clean: More than industrial strength cleanser. It not only disinfected, but dissolved anything it came into contact with! The custodial staff found it was more powerful than 410 cleaner times a thousand. Assuming, of course, 410 existed when all they had was 409.
2. Super Seed: An agricultural attempt gone wacko! This genetically modified goodie grows at an exponential rate when watered. Sadly, the botanists learned this the hard way after trying to grow some of the seed. Oh, and the disclaimer regarding the fact that it is hard to kill wore off over time.
1. Hair Re-growth Machine: McKay and Woolsey were excited to try this one, but found out that the hair did not always grow where the user most needed it. They ended up with rather nice beards though. Of course, when Caldwell came to visit McKay might have accidenatlly mentioned it, er, and convinced him to try it out too :D