Top Ten Issues Michael SHOULD'VE Resolved With His Therapist

a/n: Well, if he had a therapist. Because, seriously, the guy had SO many things wrong in his messed up mind. Now we can only wonder what might have been :D

10. Anger management. Really, he needs to get over the fact that various parties have wronged him: the Wraith, the Atlanteans *multiple times* etc. Maybe he deserved it?!?

9. Penchant for planning the death of those on Atlantis. He can't just let it go, can he?

8. Weakness for creating new weapons. What's with all the torture machines and sefl-destruct settings—not to mention the creepy experimental labs? Who enjoys making weapons to KILL people? That's unhealthy :D

7. Disturbing desire to kill humans. As a wraith he fed off them and as a mix-breed he just seems to want to kill them (or turn them into mindless lackeys.)

6. His bipolar disorder. (Seriously apparent in The Prodigal: Teyla, come with me. Never! Fine! Just DIE then. Where's that self-distruct button?)

5. Father complex: i.e. wanted to raise Torren as the key to his evil-maniacal plan. Yes, Daddy Michael!

4. His inferiority complex. He never did seem to get over being part wraith and part human.

3. Desire to rule the galaxy, after killing off all those who will oppose him. The galaxy is pretty big too. Maybe he's compensating for something?

2. Creepy fascination with Teyla and his "love" for her.

1. Confused sense of fashion. He went from the wraith "Goth" black ensemble, to the rustic and ugly brown leather dress…erm…robe. (However, instead of a therapist, Stacy and Clinton might have better advice! His hair got progressively better though.)

0. The next step in this process should probably have been to work on his sense of humor. He needs to lighten up. All that stress and anger will only lead him to a fast approaching death. (HA!)

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Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to Port-of-Seas who wanted a chapter devoted to Michael in honor of his truly epic villain status. Hopefully, this sort of fits what you had in mind. But if not, let me know…..I don't mind taking requests—this goes for everyone too. Seriously, sooner or later I'll run out of ideas…I'm surprised it hasn't been sooner. I'm weird; tell me something I don't know.

Cheers, Lemons :D