'Thank you for my parcel. It's so thoughtful of you.'

Serena's voice tickled Bernie's ear and she closed her eyes to hear it more intensely. She wanted it to vibrate through her veins, rattle her bones and scorch her blood. She'd come to love that voice. She knew the symptoms, she'd been there before. She just hated herself that it was the one woman she wasn't supposed to want. If anything, this consumed her even more than it had been with Alex and that had been the most intense interaction she'd ever had with anyone.

She kept her on the phone for as long as she could but Serena made it easy by stalling and then laughing nervously. She'd now realised that Serena didn't often get gifts which made her want to wrap up a parcel each week for her.

'Do you want to come round?' She blurted out.

'Ah, I ordered a pizza actually. Do you want to come round and share it with me?'

Bernie nodded, then confirmed her attendance. She was there in double quick time. She could hoover up pizza in double quick time.

'Now Elinor can't eat cold pizza for breakfast this time' said Serena with satisfaction. 'None left.'

'Is that what she's been doing?'

'Revolting habit.'

'I dipped olives in peanut butter when I was pregnant.'

'Please don't do that in my kitchen.'

'It'll never happen again.'

'Good. More wine?'

'I used to think you were so intimidating with your heels and your designer threads' murmured Bernie.

'Oh really. They're all discounted' said Serena with a laugh. 'I live for bargains. I can get you something if you like.'

'I don't know what I'd do with a designer bag. I wouldn't know one if it hit me in the face.'

Serena leaned over and threw a cashmere scarf in her face.

'30% off!'

'Haha, very funny.'

'I know what you'd do with a designer coat. Wear it.'

'Would you get me one?' Bernie squinted at her.

'Of course. If I get you something nice, will you wear it?'

'Are you saying that I usually look like shit?'

'Not at all. Just a bit untidy sometimes.'

'I didn't think you cared.'

'I don't.'

The silence became tense.

'Look, Serena, I'm sorry that I hurt you. But I couldn't lie to you.'

'Well it did take me a while to process it.'

'You must have wanted to hit me for it.'

'At first I did. But not anymore.'

They were very close to each other now.

'What changed your mind?' Murmured Bernie, her eyes lowering a little to lip read the other woman.

'It wasn't the same as what Edward had been doing. I understand now why it was so significant for you.'

Bernie thought back to the conversation. What had she said about Alex that had changed Serena's perception of the situation?

'Cam told me a significant detail.'

'Oh.'

So Serena had known since then.

'It can't have been easy, punishing yourself once you knew.'

Bernie wanted to cry at the gentle understanding she was getting from the person she feared she'd disappointed.

Serena tried to lighten the mood.

'Speaking of intimidation, you do quite the job of looking brooding and mysterious. I've never known such a reserved electrician.'

Bernie was supposed to laugh and they were supposed to drink more wine. Instead, she leaned over and captured Serena's lips in a scorching kiss. She heard a muffled gasp as Serena melted into her, kissing her back in a way that Bernie only could have dreamed of. She drew back to check that it was really happening. Serena gave her a shy smile and took hold of her shirt collar to lead the next one. They were breathless and excited when they came up for air.

'I thought you hadn't done this before' Bernie murmured into her lips.

'This I have.'

'Who with?' Bernie pulled back, intrigued. She could have sworn Serena was a dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual.

Serena sighed, disappointed that the next kiss was cut short.

'It doesn't matter.'

'Tell me' urged Bernie, drawing her back. She needed to know that other women her age could feel the way that she did.

'Ok, well. Her name was Caroline. We met in a bar.'

She told Bernie everything. How she drank gin and tonic like no tomorrow. The way her scarf smelt of Dior perfume. How easily they'd talked even though she'd shared her story of a difficult divorce and a workplace romance gone wrong. They'd carried on until closing time and then went to go and sit on the benches in the park until nearly dawn. By then Caroline had learned all about Edward. They'd empathised over difficult children. They'd laughed over drunken mishaps. So it didn't come as too much of a surprise when Caroline slid over and kissed her cheek. Didn't pull away, making it easy for Serena to turn her head and smile, to lean ever so slightly forward to catch her lips. It was remarkably easy to kiss another woman. It was remarkably delicious. She came away thinking that she should have done this earlier in life.

Bernie's expression of longing was so acute, so hungry for details that she'd never heard another woman say. She silently pleaded for more information.

'You haven't finished telling me about Alex.'

'There's nothing more to tell' Bernie admitted, ducking her head in embarrassment.

'I thought it was a tempestuous affair?'

'We only really kissed.'

She looked abashed and Serena couldn't think why.

'And after her?'

'There's been nobody else. I don't even know how to go about it' she confessed.

Serena was starting to understand Bernie's need to curl in a tight ball to ward away attention. Now she could understand how lost Bernie was. She had no one to talk to about her desires. Just a ragdoll dangling on a string, buffeting to the current, keeping everything locked up inside her. She couldn't admit that instead of being a wanton woman-seducer, she was bordering on virginal. Her only experience had given her a taste of her true self but with no chance of a lasting relationship, she was stuck at a frustrating pitstop. Now she knew what it could be like, she was desperate for more but she didn't know how to go about it. To go further, that was a vision that terrified and excited her.

'Well neither do I. But I've had a lot of experience with the opposite sex. I don't think I'll find it hard to figure out how this works.'

Bernie looked up at her like a rabbit in the headlights.

'Only if you want to.'

Bernie nodded, her heart beating double pace. She couldn't speak right now.

'You know that my daughter will have a fit over this. She does say I have no self-control sometimes. She may be right.'

Bernie snorted with nervous laughter.

'Let's not rush this' Serena whispered. She placed a kiss on the corner of Bernie's mouth and heard an anguished sigh.

'I don't know what I'm doing' she whispered.

'We can work it out. Just think, even at our age, there's something new to learn.' Serena challenged, her soft smile radiating light into Bernie's veins. She wanted to take away that desperate longing from her eyes.

'I'd like that.' Bernie nodded her assent and closed her eyes as the first of millions of kisses descended on her. They would spend several minutes sitting on the floor, slowly kissing everywhere they could reach, the warmth of their skin melding into the steady heat that was rising within them, a fever that was no longer dormant.