Elinor's pinched purse expression didn't waver all month. She stomped around and banged doors and kept her answers short and sharp with her mother. Serena was used to this. But what really hurt her was the determination to dismiss Serena's relationship with Bernie as a mid-life crisis.

'I don't care what you say, you're not a lesbian' she muttered after storming past. 'Gross.'

'I never labelled myself. But nice of you to be so rude about your mother-in-law' shouted Serena to her retreating back. Charlotte started grizzling and Bernie scooped her up straight away.

'She doesn't mean it.'

'Oh yes she does. Don't defend her behaviour.'

'Well…if she had a problem with me then she'd say so.'

'She barely talks to you as it is.'

They bickered for a bit about ungrateful children and then got weepy about the time that their little darlings loved them unconditionally. They spent the next few hours poring over old photo albums.

'You're so gorgeous.' Serena pointed to a radiant Bernie at a family event. She was mid laugh and her hair tumbled past her shoulders, more of a reddish brown back then. Bernie laughed shyly. She'd been blonde for so many years now, it gave her more confidence.

'That was a few months after I had Cameron.'

'I wish I'd looked that good after having Elinor.'

'I got lucky that day. For a while I felt like I'd been run over by a truck.'

'Well I'd imagine a caesarean would do that to you.'

Bernie looked at Serena's own picture, a few months after Elinor's birth. A pensive figure sat observing the party, hugging the baby curled up on her chest, legs drawn up and looking off to the side.

'You look so sad.'

Serena hadn't noticed. She could barely remember the event. She could only remember those depressive days.

'I wasn't in the best state of mind after having Ellie.' She hesitated, seeming to want to say something further but the pause went on for too long.

It was the first time Serena had alluded to her post-natal depression and grief. She changed the subject.

'It wasn't until she was about one that I found out what Edward was doing behind my back.'

Ever since Bernie had found out about everything, she'd been careful not to mention it but her heart ached for Serena.

'I know about Greta. They told me' she blurted out.

Bernie thought she could see a curtain shuttering over Serena's face as she brushed her hair away, stroking a few strands to try and soothe her. Her hair was sleeker than Bernie's messy mop but just as soft and sometimes they would while away some spare minutes wound around each other on the sofa, just playing with each other's hair.

'I'm so sorry to hear.'

Serena nodded, said nothing.

'There's a teddy bear in the box. If you want, we could dust it and give it to Charlotte.'

Serena crumpled into her and started sobbing her heart out, throwing out memories of those distant days. Bernie held her tenderly and let her drain her energy and grief out until she exhausted herself. Bernie draped her gently on the sofa and kissed her forehead. Turned the lights off and made her comfortable. Stayed until she drifted off into a haze.

Serena woke up with a bad headache. She cursed herself and her stupid blabber mouth.

'Sorry, I've never told anyone that before.'

'I can tell.'

'I feel rather stupid.'

'Don't be. It's a terrible thing to have happened.'

'I just wonder about the person she would have become. I can't even picture her or imagine her voice. But sometimes I catch a shadow at the corner of my eye. She's there. But I'll never be able to reach her. It's silly to say I know.'

'Not at all. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel or how you think. You have every right to do so.'

Serena smiled gratefully and sipped her tea. Tangled hair and puffy face did nothing to detract from the radiance Bernie saw when she smiled.

'I love you, you know.'

Bernie felt like she was going to burst. She leaned forward and kissed Serena and whispered the matching words. It felt like home.