A Walk in the Park-
Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto!
Chapter Twenty One-
Anguish, Anger and Arguments
Sakura's job had been working her like crazy for the past week. It irritated me to no end that she refused to turn them down when they asked her to come in. I just hoped she wouldn't faint from pushing herself. I suspected she wasn't getting enough sleep and was trying to play it off, she yawned a lot and would sometimes look dazed. I would talk to her in person on our date today, something had to be done.
"Sasuke!" Naruto called as he walked over to me. "Want some help?"
I was in the shop working on my 1970 Ford Mustang, finally giving this red and black car some attention after all this time.
"No." I told him while I continued tinkering the engine.
"Yeah, I figured you'd say that." He laughed and stood beside the raised hood. "So, did they sign you up yet?"
"I talked with Itachi and Kakashi this morning. I'll be racing in three weeks."
"Woah, that soon? Will you be ready in time?"
"Of course. I want to start running some laps by the end of this week, the beginning of next week at the latest."
"You're gonna practice with me, right? Like old times? Unless you're scared of me or something. I can get that, I'm pretty intimidating, ya know? Just one look from me can-"
"Naruto. Shut up." I told him and he grinned. "As if I would be afraid of an idiot like you."
"Jerk. So, is that a yes? You'll do it?"
"That was my plan from the beginning. It's time you were reminded who the better driver is."
"Bring it on, Sasuke!" He cheered, already getting excited. "This time, Sakura will be bringing the tissue box."
I sighed at the mention of her name but kept my stoic expression in place. It was useless since Naruto has always been able to see through it.
"Uh oh. What's up with you and Sakura?" He asked, not bothering to be subtle.
"She's been overworking herself." I explained.
"Woah, for real? Hinata's been doing that too!"
I see. So the hospital has been taking advantage of them both. Sakura was too caring to say no and Hinata was too nice.
"I've told her to cut her hours back, but she won't listen. She's going to end up fainting from exhaustion." I stated. "This has to stop. I'll talk with her about it again today."
"Yeah? That's good then and I get what you mean. I'm worried too. Can't let my future wife burn herself out." He said and then slapped his hand over his mouth with wide eyes. I stopped what I was doing and locked gazes with him.
"Did you say wife? Naruto Uzumaki, are you finally going to propose?"
He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Ehehehe, yeah. I know I avoid talking about marriage but . . . I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm ready. I wanna do it." He spoke with conviction.
"It's about time." I smiled and his grin was back full force.
"Bastard, I knew I'd get to it someday. I want you to help me pick out the ring. And uh, well, ya know . . . be my best man?"
"Dope, of course I will. Where were you going to find a better man than me?" I asked and he laughed.
"You are so full of it, Uchiha, haha. Thanks."
After I was done working for the day, it took me no time at all to close shop after everyone and get to my car. I drove home and changed into black jeans and a white button-down shirt. Then I drove over to Sakura's apartment and parked out front. She said she would be ready to go when I got there, so I stayed in the car and called her cellphone. It rang eight times before going to voicemail. I tried one more time before getting out of the car and heading up the stairs to get her. I didn't bother knocking and used my spare key to get in. The lights were on and the bedroom door was wide open, the room dark.
"Sakura?" I called and walked to her bedroom only to find her passed out on the bed.
She was still in her work clothes, her shoes kicked off and her feet hanging off the bed. I sighed and considered my options. I could wake her up and wait for her to get ready. We were finally going on another date and she hadn't been able to make it to the park in the mornings, opting to get more sleep on my insistence she do so. That ties into the other option. I could let her rest and just stay the night; the sleep wouldn't hurt and I worried she was pushing herself. Coming over to see this only proves my suspicions.
In the end, I decided to let her sleep despite how much I missed her. I was used to seeing her everyday even when we weren't dating so this was hard for me, but her wellbeing will always come first. The least I could do for her now was get her in a more comfortable position. I moved to the bed and stepped over her shoes, gently turning her on her back.
"Hm? Sasuke..." She whispered sleepily, hands raising to rub her tired eyes before she gasped. "Oh no… I'm so sorry. I fell asleep? Oh no. . ."
She sat up to most likely start getting ready, but I placed a hand on her shoulder.
"It's alright. You can go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up." I told her. Then in the morning I would tell her yet again to stop taking so many shifts.
"No way... I miss you too much." She whined, pouting at me sadly. Then stop taking so many shifts. I really wanted to say that but held my tongue. We would talk in the morning, I reminded myself.
"I miss you too, but you need to rest, Sakura." I stated firmly.
Her brows pulled together as she frowned and for a moment I feared she'd cry. Thankfully she didn't, but she looked at me with tired emeralds and held out her hand to me.
"Will you... lay with me then?" She asked hesitantly, worriedly.
These days it seemed like there was so much on her mind and I knew she was stressed and exhausted. It pissed me off. I wish she'd take better care of herself. Was that too much to ask? I got into bed with her and pulled her against my side.
"You can't keep doing this." I said despite trying not to start this conversation.
"Sasuke..." She sighed. "This is my job. You know that."
That was it, that was the last straw. I sat up and leaned over her, glaring.
"You always say that. It's also your life, Sakura. What about that?" I declared.
"In case you hadn't noticed, Sasuke, my job is a very important part of my life. Things are bad right now. We lost two nurses. I'm not the only one suffering, Hinata has pulled two doubles this week!" She yelled.
"And how many have you pulled compare to everyone else? Name one person who has taken more shifts than you." I demanded. She may not be the only one suffering, but she was suffering the most.
"That's not fair." She scoffed. "I have to do what I have to do and you need to respect that. It's not like I want to work all the time."
"Well you could have fooled me. They can't make you do anything, they ask you to and you say yes. No isn't a selfish word and you need to learn that. I understand you want to do your part, but you are human and you have limits."
"You think I don't already know that?" She snapped, a fire taking to her eyes that I'd never seen before. "I know myself Sasuke, believe it or not, even better than you do! I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. I can't even spend time with my own boyfriend and when I finally have the chance all he wants to do is give me a hard damn time!"
She shrugged out of my hold and jumped out of bed, swaying on her feet and cursing loudly. My fists clenched as I watched her brace herself against the wall.
"I can only be so selfish." She whispered then, voice broken. "Hinata is working tonight and going to work through tomorrow morning just so I can take a little break. Because I need it. Because I miss you... Because I wanted to have a good damned night!
She ran her fingers through her hair and started pacing the room. "All I wanted was dinner . . . and some quiet time alone with you . . . and instead . . . I get this . . ."
Shit. Now she was crying. I instinctively got up to hold her, comfort her like I desperately wanted to do, but I didn't. I just stood by the bed and pinched the bridge of my nose. She had her reasons and I had mine. Usually we could meet halfway but I didn't see that happening as things stood now. I felt like we were talking in circles.
"Look . . . I hear what you're saying, but are you hearing me? Split up the work evenly. If you're working triples then so should everyone else. They can't expect you to do all the heavy lifting. Selfish? Are you serious? If you want to talk about being selfish, then fine. I'm selfish because I'd rather have my girlfriend sleep than spend time with her. I'm selfish because I put your well-being above everyone else's. I'm selfish because I will not let those bastards take advantage of your kindness.
"You always go out of your way for others and that is your greatest strength, but it is also your greatest weakness. All I'm asking you to do is take care of yourself, not to stop helping out. Tell me everyone, not Hinata, but everyone else is working as hard as you. Tell me that and I will drop this right now and not say another word. What they're doing isn't fair and I'll bet it sure as hell isn't legal. If you end up bed ridden from exhaustion, so help me-!" I yelled but didn't finish the thought. I was trying so hard not to raise my voice yet here I was. Damn it all!
"You just don't get it!" She growled, fists clenching at her sides. "We're so busy that we need a minimum of two nurses working at all times. Right now, we only have two nurses. Me and Hinata. Do you know what that means? It means that because of being already so overworked, we can't both work at once and still have a break! So we have to work alone!
"The aids are only certified to do so much. They can't distribute medications and they don't know enough to assist with surgery without you having to walk them through every single thing. It is wrong that we're having to do this, but we have several nurses coming to be interviewed this week, and I have to be there. I don't have a choice."
She was pacing the floor again, voice trembling with emotion. "You think this is the first time I've had to work like this? Well no, it's not . . . and it won't be the last either. If you can't accept it . . . then maybe you can't accept me."
I stood there and looked at her in disbelief, charcoal eyes wide in shock. How could she say that? Did she honestly believe that? For Sakura to say something like this . . . .
"I didn't know it was only you and Hinata, I admit I was wrong for assuming, and I'm sorry for that. The hospital should have gotten help sooner, borrowed nurses from other hospitals nearby. It isn't your fault they didn't and it wasn't my intention to blame you for it." I sighed and turned away from her, rubbing my temples.
Only two nurses, you have got to be fucking kidding me. I wanted to go straight to whoever was in charge and give them a piece of my mind, but I couldn't take the risk of getting Sakura fired. However, that doesn't mean I'll let it go or forgive them. An Uchiha grudge can last forever. Until that hospital was at least under new management, I'd never look at it the same way again.
"I'm sorry for putting more pressure on you, but you have to understand. I can't stand by and do nothing. It goes against who I am. I accept who you are and I always will, even if I disagree or don't understand. I need you to accept me too. It's hard for me to be so damn helpless.
"What can I do, Sakura? What can I do?" I asked as I turned to look at her once more.
"Nothing. There is nothing you can do." She sobbed, tears now streaming down her face as she turned to look at me. Her eyes were red, her face pale. She just shook her head after a moment and shakily walked back to her bed before burying herself under the covers.
"I'm just . . . going to sleep now." She cried, her breaths coming out in shaky sobs. Her whole body was trembling so strongly I could tell even from the thick cover over her.
My heart shattered at the sight and I had never felt so bad, so defeated in my life. How many times was I going to reduce the woman I loved to tears? Sasuke, you're a bastard.
I went over to the bed and joined her, wrapping my arms around her small form. She shoved at me, but I didn't let go. If I left her like this, I'd never forgive myself.
"Please don't fight me." I begged. "I'll be gone in the morning if that's what you want, but please don't fight me now."
She cried harder then, her hand clutching onto my shirt at my chest and she pressed her face against me. I regretted ever saying anything as I held her close and rubbed her back, trying my best to soothe her. But she continued to cry until she finally fell asleep.
I laid wide awake as silent tears of my own ran down my cheeks. What was happening to me? I'm weak, helpless, scared, shaken and uncertain. I'm not the Uchiha I once was, I don't even recognize myself anymore. Ever since I met Sakura, I've changed. She's been my first for many things.
My first girlfriend, my first lover, my first happiness, my first love. All I had ever known were dishonest and self-profiting people outside my tight knit group of friends. That's how it was- is in my line of work. Everyone would try to save face when they plotted your downfall behind your back.
I had almost forgotten what it was like, so emerged and in love. I was discovering new sides to myself I thought I had long buried, gotten rid of. I hated showing weakness and anything akin to it. I was never the best at expressing my feelings and when I did it was usually in anger. How had things turned out his way? How had I lost myself so quickly?
It seemed as if I knew everything an hour ago, I knew the type of man Sasuke Uchiha was. Now I'm not so sure. Am I the type of man who makes his girlfriend cry herself to sleep? I rubbed my face and sat up, a headache forming right behind my eyes. Am I affected so much because I love her? Is that why it hurts so much, why it makes me question who I am? I don't know. I don't fucking know anymore. I don't have the answers.
I got up and left the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me. Then I left her apartment and locked the door behind me. I drove back to the shop to do what always calmed me, working under a hood. To say I was shocked to find Itachi there would be an understatement. He was working on the engine of our 1998 Nissan 240SX.
"Sasuke, what brings you here?" He asked, wiping his hands on a rag.
"I could ask you the same thing. It's rare to find you working." I teased, but even to my ears it sounded flat and forced. Itachi's face went from amusement to concern within seconds.
"What's wrong?"
"Sakura and I had a fight." I told him and he seemed to relax.
"Occasional fights and arguments are normal." He reasoned but I shook my head.
"I've fought with her before but this time . . . I don't know, Itachi." I said, digging my nails into my clenched fist. "I really screwed up. I-I hurt her . . . if you had seen her face-"
"Sasuke, calm down." He said and I realized my palms were bleeding.
He came over to me and examined my hands.
"Tsk. Sasuke." He scolded and went to retrieve our first aid kit. I really couldn't care less, but I wasn't going to fight him. I was done fighting for today.
We were both silent as he bandaged my hands, waiting for me to continue.
"I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't sense myself anymore. I don't know what to do." I admitted and hung my head. "Why does it hurt so much?"
"Because it means something. And the more it means to you, the more it hurts." He stated. "You haven't lost yourself, you're only trapped inside your head. Don't overthink things, little brother. Sometimes the answers are simpler than they seem. Do you love her?"
"Yes."
"Are you regretting what you did?"
"Yes."
"Then tell her. Tell her you love her and that you're sorry." Itachi said as he finished with my hands.
It was a strange and rare day indeed when an Uchiha told another Uchiha to apologize. However, I guess it was alright as long as we only said sorry to those that deserved it, that we cared about and cherished. Itachi and I had both learned to say I'm sorry and that wasn't a bad thing.
"Itachi, she won't forgive me just because I say-"
"She will if you mean it." He said, cuffing me off. "If she sees that you're genuine, then she will forgive you because she loves you."
" . . . . . . But what if she doesn't?"
"Then keep trying until she does. Earn her forgiveness. You've chosen to be a man of your word, not the easiest path, but an honorable one. You are strong, little brother, I have faith in you." He told me, but his words had the opposite effect.
A man of my word. I promised Sakura she wouldn't regret being by my side, though now I'm sure she does. That thought caused a pained expression to take over my face. I failed. I had failed her. I'm nothing but a liar. For the second time today, silent tears fell from my eyes.
"Sasuke . . . " Itachi said as he pulled me into an embrace. "Don't do that. You mustn't doubt yourself. Believe you can make it right again. You can do this."
After I collected myself, he let go of me and ruffled my hair. Believe I can do it? Was it truly that easy? I took a deep breath and felt some of the weight lifted off my shoulders. Simply believe . . . believe in myself, believe in her, believe in us. I could do that.
"Thanks, Aniki."
"Anytime. I am very wise." He said and I scoffed.
"Since when?" I asked despite agreeing with his statement.
"Since I've had a melodramatic younger brother." He teased and flicked my forehead.
"Itachi, you're the melodramatic one." I smiled and rubbed the reddened skin. Hopeless, he is utterly hopeless.
….
I returned to Sakura's apartment the next morning, having stayed up all night working in the shop with Itachi. I had stopped and picked up some breakfast for the two of us. After I quietly set up the food on kitchen bar, I peeked in her room to check on her. She was still sound asleep under the covers.
It would be best to let her wake up on her own, she needed the rest. I went back into the living room and sat on the couch, deciding to borrow one of her books off the shelf. I had gotten about halfway through when I heard the bedroom door open. I took a deep breath and relaxed. I would fix things between us if it's the last thing I do.
A/N:
WHEW. The feels for this chapter liked to do me in. I'm still so sad. Luckily Kana is gonna cheer me up!
Writing this was something else for us... like since we were arguing and Sasuke and Sakura so much, our entire conversation was nothing but an argument. Lol. At one point I was like I'm so done with this argument and Kana was like... I thought it was more of a heated discussion. Ahh... It was one of those you had to be there moments but we got a good laugh out of it.
The closer we get to the end, the sadder I get. Honestly it's a bittersweet feeling that's hard to explain.
This is happening to me also with My Dear Princess which has only four chapters left. I have them written and will be posting them all next week some time probably. I seriously cried when I finished it. Wah.
So, questions of this update:
will there be any trigger warnings before chapters or for upcoming chapters by chance?:
Kana: I don't think anything we have written calls for trigger warnings. If after you read a chapter and think it was real intense, let us know and we can add one. That might defeat the purpose if you've already read it but it's hard to tell with these things. Triggers are different for everyone.
Tyy: A good friend once told me that life doesn't give you warnings, which is so true and honestly... I don't consider anything that's going to happen trigger-warning worthy. So, it would be more like a spoiler-alert! So, I'll have to ask for reviews with opinions on the matter.
(Do you all want spoiler alerts before chapters with any incidents, or nah?)
Protective jealous Sasuke coming:
Kana: Yes, I have gotten carried away but I so don't care, lol. No regrets.
Tyy: Not a question, but worth responding to! You know what you're talking about, my friend! Hehe.
will sakura and sasori start a thing and break poor sasukes heart?:
Kana: Sasori taking Sakura away from Sasuke? Well, speaking as Sasuke, over my dead body. Sasori and Sasuke definitely gonna have some problems with each other. Stay tuned, ehehehe.
Tyy: Yo... like... this review felt like a knife into my heart. It hurts me to think that anyone could assume Sakura to be this kind of girl, especially in this fic. She adores Sasuke and she would never betray him or do anything to break his heart on purpose.
Sasori's last name had me laughing so hard, omg! Akasuna, that's so great! Aka from Akatsuki and Suna as in Sunagakure because he's from there, right?:
Kana: I was just like lets use Sasori and that was it. I have no idea where his last name came from, haha.
Tyy: I did alllllll kinds of googling trying to find a last name for Sasori and came up with none. He is Sasori of the red sand, aka Akasuna no Sasori. That's how I got Sasori Akasuna. Sounds a little strange and it is pretty funny but as far as I know it doesn't involve the Akatsuki. It would have been so funny if we came up with your theory though. Lol.
Til next time...
-Kanatyy