Shifting sands

Summary :
Aftermath of Kantou Tournament where Tezuka Kunimitsu lost to Atobe Keigo and severely injured his left shoulder. What will Tezuka do now that he could no longer play tennis?

Author's note: There's quite a bit of dialog taken from Episode 73 as I try to weave Tezuka's interactions with his team mates and stay as close to the timeline as possible.

Chapter 3

Last night had been rough and tiring, another all-nighter at the tennis plaza. He had not played with his right hand since his first year. His control had deteriorated. He would have overslept if his mother had not awakened him.

Everyone had all ready started by the time Tezuka arrived for morning practice. He quietly observed them a few minutes before going to change. It's time for him to face the team and fulfill his duty. If he did not bring his racket to the court, Ryuzaki-sensei would not call him out. The Kantou Tournament had just started. They still have a long way to go.

"Buchou!" Momoshiro yelled in surprise. Time stood still as they stared at him.

"It's been a while, Tezuka. Are you feeling well? I thought you had forgotten all about Tennis club," Oishi teased him, diffusing the tense atmosphere.

Tezuka looked sternly back. Discipline was sliding a little if his presence distracted them so easily. "Did I interrupt practice?"

Oishi heard the underlying challenge to Tezuka's question, "You want to say something?". Oishi shook his head. "N-no." No, not right now. Not in front of everyone. Personal conversation with Tezuka was neither spoken verbally nor in public.

Tezuka scanned the faces before him. None of them dared to voice their uncertainty. He answered their unspoken question all the same. At least, the question on the surface. The club needed some reassurance after all. "It's fine. Just continue." The personal one was none of their business.

He observed the regulars as they turned back to their trainings. Oishi and Inui had them well in hand. Good. The non-regulars were getting a little neglected though. Tezuka worked his way among the first years and second years. These will be the future of Seigaku. They were ready to be pushed one step further. All it took was a few encouraging words here and there, some small corrections to forms, and advice on training. The team was shaping up well.

At the end of practice, he received three separate social invitations from the regulars for that evening. He accepted them all in the spirit they were given. It's their way of reintegrating Tezuka back into the group after his absence, bringing Tezuka back from his self-isolation.

That evening, Tezuka met up with Inui after school. They walked to the park to idle the time away until it was time to go to Kawamura's shop. Inui filled the silence with reports on the other school line ups and recommendations on training for the team. Suddenly, Tezuka stopped, eyes riveted on two young boys playing tennis. Based on Inui's data, Tezuka's habits and behaviour were certainly a bit off that day. He appeared distracted and preoccupied. Fuji may be right about Tezuka's state of mind. Perhaps it was time for Inui to change tact. Talking to Tezuka was never straight forward, despite Tezuka's bluntness.

"Did we look like that when we were younger?" he said. "Bright eyes filled with hope. Believing that you can return every shot." He followed Tezuka to a park bench. "It's amazing, huh? Tennis is something that, once you get involved, you can't pull out. I wonder why?" Was he getting closer to the mark? Yes, Tezuka's chin lowered by 5 cm.

"Compared to when I first started tennis, I feel several times more lost now... Don't you think so, Tezuka?" asked Inui quietly. Inui sat patiently beside Tezuka. He knew it would take a moment for Tezuka to think his way through. As Inui watched the children play in the silence that was Tezuka, he hoped he had conveyed the message clearly. "Tezuka, the team is a reflection of you. When you are lost, so are we," he thought.

"Lost? Am I lost?" Tezuka thought. "I am lost, aren't I. Lost my way. Lost my courage. I've been afraid to find the truth. Afraid I will go to Germany only to be told it is too late. Afraid that leaving Seigaku at this critical point will be a fatal mistake. Afraid I would come back and found out I should never have left. As Ryuzaki-sensei once said, Seigaku cannot survive Kantou tournament without me in the line-up. But she won't register me in this condition. Should I re-appeal? I don't think she will back down. There must be a way for us to win Kantou Tournament. I can't afford to leave Japan. But I can't remain like this either. It is affecting morale."

"Are you so helpless, Tezuka Kunimitsu?" he scolded himself. "Stop delaying and find a way. There must be a way." All he said was, "Aah." He had been lost after all and too blind to see it.

Inui wrote in his notebook: Tezuka raised chin by 70 degrees. Mission accomplished.