Recordings, Dreams, and Tough Love
Nat finished Rehearsal with the band and went with Copper to his house. Copper said "Nat I just want to warn you now this isn't going to be easy. I saw how you were yesterday when you just listened to yourself sing it. You can't cry when you are singing that wastes tape. If you think I'm going to let you stop just because you get upset I'm not."
Nat said "calm down Copper I understand. I know mom wanted you to help the band but do you have to be so pushy?"
Copper said "Nat it's called tough love. When you love someone and want them to succeed but they don't think they can you push them."
Nat said "how hard are you going to push? If I think I'm going to snap I might ask for a break is that ok? I know it can't be a long one.
Copper said "instead right before we start recording you call Rosalina. I know that always cheers you up Nat."
Nat said "she's boarding her flight to Russia in a few hours. I don't think I can reach her if I wait."
Copper said "call her right now Nat. She left me a copy of her flight plan and right now would be the perfect time to call. Remember she hates flying she's probably sitting in the airport scared to death right now. She could really use her night in shining armor right now Nat."
Nat said "crap I left my phone at the house! Wait if Rosalina is so scared to fly then how come she was so relaxed on band trips? If she needed me all she had to do was come to me."
Copper said "Nat you can use my phone to call her. Just don't make any reference to the flight. Remember the last time you did that and she freaked out?"
Nat took Copper's cell phone and called Rosalina. Rosalina answered her phone on the third ring. Nat could tell right away that she was very scared. He wasn't sure how to help her so he just told her that he missed her very much.
Rosalina started to cry right before Nat hung up. Nat said "Rosalina are you ok? Don't think about the plane. I want you to close your eyes and just listen to my voice. No really you aren't interrupting practice. Copper just wanted to do some extra work with a track and needed an extra pair of hands."
Rosalina sniffed and said "Nat you don't get it! After what happened to my mom I will never like fly again. You know the masks that are supposed to deploy if there is not enough oxygen?"
Nat said "what does this have to do with your mom? Those masks are tested daily before the plane takes off. Just relax Rosalina everything will be fine."
Rosalina sobbed harder and said "mom's mask didn't deploy Nat and she died. That happened when I was six. You trying living with the guilt that if you hadn't demanded a window seat your mom would still be alive!"
Nat felt awful but he remembered what Copper had said about tough love. He took a deep breath and said "Rosalina you choose to do this. I can't always be beside you when you're upset. Now I have to go help Copper have a safe trip and I'll see you in six months."
Nat hung up the phone tears stung his eyes but he held them back. He walked over to his key board and began to sing. Half way through the song he thought his heart was going to burst. Copper stopped the tape and put a hand on his shoulder. Nat brushed away a tear from his cheek and put a fake smile on his face.
Copper said "Nat what happened between you and Rosalina? I heard you mention the flight. I told you not to do that the last time you did she almost left the band."
Nat said "she feed me some sob story about how it was her fault her mom died. I got mad and hung up before I started a fight."
Copper said "that wasn't just a sob story Nat. She told you what she believes to be the truth. The tough love theory doesn't work on people you love. It works on your friends and your children."
Nat sighed and sadly said "I really don't understand why she got so defensive. It's like she doesn't think I know what's like to loose someone. Do you think that I'm that heartless that I wouldn't try to understand how she feels?"
Copper said "no I don't and it's wrong for you to assume that Rosalina thinks that. You know she loves you very much Nat. You told her nothing would ever change that and she knows that to."
Nat thought for a minute and said "Copper I know I said I wanted to record my first song for Rosalina but I have the music to the other one right here. Could we record this one instead?"
Copper said "of course just tell me what the song is called Nat."
Nat said "the song is called for longer than forever. It's a song from a movie Rosalina made me sit through when we were little."
Cooper said "alright if that's what you want Nat. I don't know the song so you'll have to do this one on your own. I'm proud of you for trying to record the song you wrote for your mom. It's too late to start recording the other song tonight. I'll pick you up after the next rehearsal. That's in two weeks so do you want me to take you home or are you going to have your dad pick you up?"
Nat said "I'll walk I need to do a little thinking anyway."
Copper said "Nat you can think when I drive you home. It's not safe for a kid to walk home by himself at night. If I did your father would either kick my butt or kill me. Get in the car I'll be right out."
Nat went outside and sat in the truck. Tears rolled down his cheeks he didn't understand Rosalina anymore. Before she went on this trip she would have never talked to him like that. Copper came outside and said "hey what's bothering you? I don't think I've seen you this upset since your mom died."
Nat sniffed and said "nothing is bugging me just take me home and leave me alone! I need to get some sleep and then I'll be ok."
Copper said "Nat your mom asked me to take care of you. If something is bugging you I want you to know that you can tell me. Does it have to do with Rosalina or your mother? I love you like you were my son Nat. Your mother's dream was to see the band make it big. She told me before she died that she hoped that you would make her dream come true. I know that it seems like a lot of pressure but she knew that you were a born leader."
Nat said "I don't know Rosalina anymore. I love her so much but she doesn't seem to love me back. Alex is upset and I'm barely holding it together. A fight with Rosalina was the last thing I needed right now."
Copper said "I guess I pushed too hard today Nat. Next time I won't use the tough love thing on you again. All that does is make you upset your mom would hurt me if she was still here."
Nat got out of the car when Copper pulled into the driveway. He went into the bed room he and Alex shared and found Alex laying face first in his bed sobbing. Nat touched Alex's back and said "hey are you ok? I can't get into my bed until you move. Once I use the bathroom you're going to sit up and talk to me."
Alex sat up and wiped the tears from his cheeks and said "Nat the plane that Rosalina was on crashed. Dad doesn't know because I thought you'd take it better from another member of the band. Rosalina's dad called and asked to speak to you when I asked to take a message he spilled out everything."
Nat said "oh god my Rosie might be dead. Alex thank you for telling me I'm canceling our next tour so I can go to Russia and see if she's in a hospital down there. I can't sleep right now I need to write something."
Alex sighed and said "Nat are you ok? Maybe I should have had dad tell you. I just wanted to be able to help you. I want to go to Russia with you Nat."
Nat hugged his brother and said "go to sleep Alex please. It's not up to you if you go Alex. It does up to dad if either one of us go now get some sleep."
Tears fell down Nat's cheeks and he held Alex very close. Alex said "I'm not letting you stay up by yourself Nat. You are very fragile right now and need a helping hand. I'm not leaving you until you talk to dad."
Nat said "if I let you sleep in my bed again tonight will you go to sleep? I love you Alex but right now I need to play my keyboard by myself."
Alex lied back down and Nat turned off the light. He then went into the guest room and picked up his phone and called Tomas and the other band members. Tears flowed down his cheeks when he told Tomas what happened.
Tomas said "Nat are you ok? I can't believe it I'll be right over I think you need a friend right now. How's Alex taking it? It must have been very hard for him to take that message and then tell you."
Nat said "Tomas I have to call the other members now. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If you could come over as soon as you can I'd really be grateful."
Tomas hung up and had his mom drive him over to Nat's Apartment. He knocked on the door and Nat's father said "what in the name of leaping lizards are you doing here! It's the middle of the night. Is something wrong with Nat or Alex?"
Tomas sighed and said "Nat didn't tell you that Rosalina might be dead? I thought he would have gone to you first. He's a mess right now when I was in the phone with him he was crying so hard I couldn't understand him. Alex is upset to but Nat is an emotional wreck. I don't understand why Nat wouldn't tell you about it he said he needed a shoulder to cry on that's why I'm here."
Mr. Wolf said "you can come in but I want to Nat and Alex first. Thank you for be willing to come out here in the middle of the night to comfort my son."
Just then Nat came down stairs tears stained his cheeks and he sniffed loudly. Nat did something he hadn't done since he was really young. He ran into his father's arms and cried hard. Tomas had never seen Nat like this and it scared him.
Nat's father said "its ok Nat everything is going to be ok. Rosalina wouldn't want you to be sad she would want you to remember all the good times you two shared together."
Nat sniffed and said "dad I couldn't bring myself to tell the other band members. Could you please call them? I just can't deal with this right now! The last thing I ever said to her was I can't always be there for you. If she had never gone on this stupid trip around the world none of this would have happened!"
Tomas said "Nat calm down we don't even know if she survived or not. The best thing right now is to take a deep breath and cancel our band's next tour. That way we can travel to Russia and see if she made it off the plane."
Mr. Wolf said "Nat Rosalina wouldn't want you to cancel you tour. It's the last tour before you guys start school again. Also I don't want you going to a foreign country alone. If I could go with you it would be one thing but someone has to stay with Alex."
Nat turned and ran upstairs and slammed his bedroom door. Mr. Wolf put his head in his hands and said "Amy was so much better at handling his out bursts. She always managed to make him feel better. I'm just not as good at keeping the peace and mending broken hearts. I remember when she got Nat his first keyboard and taught him how to play. He was so happy and then a few weeks after Alex was born she had put the boys to bed and then just didn't wake up. I wish that she was still here she and Nat were very close and when she died he was heart broken. His music mended his broken heart not me."
Tomas said "Nat just has trouble letting go. He's not like Alex who wears his emotions right on his sleeve. I've know Nat for a long time and the right thing to do is let him walk away and blow off steam."
Tomas sat down in a chair when heard Nat singing "somewhere out there beneath the candle light someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight. Somewhere out there some one's saying a prayer that will find one another in that big some where out there. Even though I know how very far apart we are it helps to think we're wishing on the same bright star. When the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky. Somewhere out there if love can see us through then we'll be together in that big somewhere out there out where dreams come true."
Tomas said "has he ever sang or played that song before? I think he's completely lost it and I should call mom and have her pick me up."
Mr. Wolf sighed and said "he's played that song before but not in many years. He hasn't played it since his mom died. He used to play it for Alex it helped put him to sleep when he woke up crying. That might be what he's doing now either that or he's trying to tell himself that if Rosalina didn't make it he will see her again."
Tomas said "in that case I should go upstairs and help him relax."
Then Alex came down stairs and said "dad has Nat told everybody about Rosalina yet? Her dad just called and wants to speak to him."
Mr. Wolf said "the only people who know Al are Tomas you and myself. I want you to go to sleep. Tomas and I will handle your brother."
Alex ran to his father tears falling down his cheeks. Mr. Wolf said "hey listen to me Al Rosalina wouldn't want you and your brother to be like this. I want you to go upstairs and have sweet dreams."
Alex walked upstairs and heard Nat playing his keyboard again. He went into the guest room and gave him and hug. Nat ran his fingers through his hair and said "alright Al I'll come to bed if you go to sleep. Thanks for cheering me up Al I know this can't be any easier on you. I know you're worried about her to let's just get some sleep mom always said you see the brighter side of things in the morning."