Yes, the title of this chapter is spelled incorrectly on purpose. It has dense at the end instead of dence because dense is also slang for stupid.

Sorry about not writing in forever, I've been lazy again. I don't really have anything witty to say to begin this one, so just dive in.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They then entered the gate that would take them to the Residence. What it was the Residence of, it's hard to say. I think I'm going to go with researchers and sharks. Walking through the almost maze like path, they encountered some very strange whether. Jill, being far taller, was the first to notice.

"Ack! Something fell on my head!"

Maddie looked up, and managed to dodge a falling snake. "It would appear to be raining snakes. Didn't bring an umbrella, did you?"

"What if we get bitten?"

"Blue herbs, duh!"

They continued the rest of the way until the encountered a shabby door that led to into a place almost as filthy as my basement bathroom, and much bigger.

"This place is almost as bad as my basement bathroom!"

"Ew, maybe you should clean it."

"Fuck that, I'm never down there."

Turning the corner and going through a door on the right, they encountred a very odd room that was a mix of a garden and a dungeon. It also had a magic box, a save point and ink ribbon, a first aid spray, kerosene, and I think some other crap. What am I, a walkthrough? While Maddie was typing in the save point, Jill was looking at the rope on the shelf behind the typewriter.

"Hey, this rope looks freshly cut!"

"How the hell can a rope look freshly cut? Dose it ooze rope goo?"

"No, it… shut up."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Leaving the room and back in the hall, Jill took a right. But before she could be warned, Maddie picked a scent. "Hot guy sense tingling! In the mean time, the reckless Jill had stumbled upon a hole in the floor, where a rather large and sentient vine stumbled upon her. And, as all things in Resident Evil, it did not want to give candy or flowers, and began to strangle Jill like Wesker on PCP. Maddie passed Jill, then noticed the situation. "Oh, come on, you can just throw the thing off!"

"Merrff!" Jill was beginning to turn blue.

"You big baby!"

After removing Jill from the vine, the box by the bar door was set into place, making an effective anti-strangle rout, and exited via door. There's not much to say here so lets move forward a few frames to outside room 002.

Jill was about to open the door when they heard voices.

"So, best friend, what's the plan?" Wesker felt like throwing up. Why did he need Barry again? At first, he had planed to ditch the morons and collect the combat data and use Barry to lead them to the lab. However, now that he reflected on his plan, he could have skipped the Barry part, come back from the labs and just take them to the labs himself. With these jackasses, they never would have suspected a thing. He decided S.T.A.R.S. had been a bad influence on him.

"You just stay here and try not to swallow any small objects or something. And don't tell anyone you saw me!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Best Friend sir!"

Wesker sighed. "I am so screwed…"

At this point, Maddie could no longer just sand there and listen, so she threw open the door and on not seeing Wesker, grabbed Barry by the neck and began strangling him. "Where is he! I heard him in here! I can smell him!"

Now, by chance alone, Wesker had been standing to the left of the door and had been smashed by its violent opening. As he stumbled from behind it, holding his now broken and bloody nose, he observed Barry being strangled by an unknown female, with Jill standing a few feet away, watching what appeared to be a mixed attempted at an interrogation and murder. Barry was the only one who saw him.

Speaking of Barry, he did not enjoy being strangled. So he opened his mouth and was about to say something when he saw Wesker waving his hands in a "no" fashion, while also mouthing it. Barry, observing carefully (as carefully as one can when being strangled), said "he told me to tell you he's not here." Wesker, in his frustration, did his best to silently stomp his foot then held his head and grit his teeth. Barry, still carefully observing, said, "and then he got his head eaten by angry dinosaurs!"

At this point, everything stopped. Maddie stopped her strangling, Wesker stopped moving, and Wesker's confidence in his plan died. Then, Maddie started her strangling again, and Wesker decided to just run the fuck out of there.

"I am Wesker's little helper, remember?" she said with a strained voice through clenched teeth. "So that means you can tell me where he is!"

"Oh, yeah! I forgot that! He went to some labs to do something…"

Maddie, still strangling, said thoughtfully "he must have his own way to get into the labs. But how he got away shall always be a mystery! Okay, we have to continue on!" She then stopped strangling Barry and went into the bathroom.

"Barry, who were you talking to?"

"I was talking to… myself!"

"Really! Can you reach me to sound like Wesker?"

"Sure! Just use smart words!"

"Jill, get your retarded ass in here!"

Jill, once in the bathroom, looked around at the deplorable state the room was in, with all the filthy water on the floor and in the tub. "I don't have to unplug that tub, do I?" "No, I just don't want you fraternizing with the idiots."

Speaking of which, Barry was busy examining the blood on the door, (left from Wesker's nose) when a zombie crawled out from under the bed, saw Barry, and began shambling, with arm out as all good zombies should, to its unsuspecting prey. At that time, by some magic force, some loose change fell out of Barry's pocket, and bent to pick it up just as the zombie was about to grab him. Consequently, said zombie's hand smeared the blood on the door, leaving a smeared hand print and making a thump sound. Wesker's nose was very broken, by-the-buy. Upon hearing the thump sound, Barry rightend from his prone position, only for his head to knock the zombie to the floor. "I wonder what that was. Oh, well." with that he left the room, and the zombie gave him the finger.

But back to the bathroom. "Ah, here it is!" Maddie said, finding the key labeled 001.

"What's in that room?" Jill asked, warily eyeing the bathtub.

"More keys."

"How many more keys do we need?"

"More than I would like to count."

Jill sighed, "all right, let's go get the damned thing." At this point, the frustrated zombie burst in the bathroom and attacked Jill, only to be bested by the cheated grenade launcher. As he fell and burned to death, his last thought was, "I should have just gotten take out." Then Maddie began laughing and kicked him.

Walking back to room 001, Maddie looked at the hole in the ground where a vine from Plant 42 had taken up residence. "Hey, Jill, give me the grenade launcher."

Jill eyed her like the previously mentioned bathtub and asked why.

"J need to test a theory, I'll give it right back!"

"Fine, but don't use too much of the ammo."

"I'll try not to use all 191 of them," she said. She then pointed it at the hole and shot one in, the recoil knocking her on her ass. Jill laughed at her. "Shut up and walk by the hole!" Upon trying that, the large, sickly green vine wrapped around Jill's throat. "Hu, fire proof vine… I wonder where I can get some agent orange?"

At this point, Jill threw off the vine by herself this time and fell forward. "That's like the fourth time you've done something like that to me!" She then (A/N think I use the "he/she then" thing a lot, don't I?) ran at Maddie who took out her magnum and pointed it at Jill, who stopped right before she could walk over the hole again. "You were about to be re-strangled, and I save your happy ass. We're even." Jill glared as Maddie walked via anti-strangle rout to the other side. Now to room 001!

Food time! Now a word form our sponsor!

"Maddie, whatcha doin' hun?"

"Taken' a food break, Mom."

Now back to your irregularly scheduled program.

As they walked into the room, the first thing they noticed was a hanging body.

"That's Danny!" came a disembodied voice.

"Hey, wrong game!" exclaimed Maddie.

"What?"

"This is the wrong game! You need to be in Silent Hill 3 (the best game in the series, I might add)."

"Oh, what game is this?"

"REmake! Oh, and if you see Vincent, tell him Maddie loves him and not to go in that last room with Claudia!"

"I'll do that."

"What the fuck was that?" asked Jill.

"Disembodied voice from Lake Side Amusement Park."

"Never heard of it…"

"Duh."

"Whatever, I don't care."

They went further into the room to investigate, finding two handgun magazines, a self defense gun, and bloody suicide note. After reading said note, Maddie wondered aloud, "it would seem that these researchers love to commit suicide. This is the second one tonight. But anyway, this doesn't directly state the how they were infected but it doesn't say anything about being bitten my zombies, and as researchers you would think they would know the mode of infection. Granted, there have been a few such cases of airborne rabies in research labs, but you'd think they'd have better sense than that. What do you think, Jill?"

"I think the dead guy gives me the creeps."

"Yeah, how insightful. We should head to the bathroom now."

"I went before we came in the helicopter."

"Not like that! There are items in the bathroom that we need!"

Once again, in the bathroom: "Do I have to unplug -" Jill was cut off as a thump was heard as well as ominous music.

"What the crap?" Jill asked.

"Don't worry about it. Let's deal with in here first."

"Alright, I guess… Do I have to unplug this tub too?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Can you at least spot me?"

"Fine." Maddie said, moving into position in front of the mirror so the corpse on the floor as well as the tub could be watched. The tub was drained and no zombie got up, and the one on the floor seemed perfectly content to stay where it was for the time being, so the pair left the room after retrieving the key in the bathtub.

Back in the room, the hanged man was getting up from the floor after tripping over a CD player, hence the annoyingly ominous music.

"You're telling me that zombies can't step out of a bathtub but are dexterous enough to undo a noose?" Maddie said. "Whatever…" she then blew off his head and shot the CD player. "Right. How about a swim, Jill?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That's not even all I have written. I'm just too lazy to continue, and that sounded like a good spot to stop. Quote time!

My friend is talking about not wanting to do something, I don't remember what.

Maddie: "Tell them you have to go hunt dinosaurs in Antarctica."

Alice: "I can't tell them that, I don't like the cold!"

Maddie: "And that's the only problem you have with excuse?"

Alice: "And all the dinosaurs are dead."