Title: Comedy of Errors
Category: Flame of Recca
Author: khay
Language: English
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Humor
Words: 1,761
A/N: For this story, I will be heavily borrowing from Jennifer Crusie's Manhunting and Cyndi Haynes & Dale Edwards' 2002 Things To Do On A Date. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Summary: Alternate Universe. Fuuko Kirisawa braves the dating scene and finds out just how many frogs a girl have to kiss before she can find her prince.
Standard disclaimers apply (there is a reason this is called fanfiction).
Beta-Reader: The awesome Maya-nii (any mistakes that may be found here are mine).
Comedy of Errors
Chapter 4
Things to do on a date # 942: Spend an entire afternoon at the arcade.
"Say that again?" Fuuko Kirisawa resisted the urge to clean her ear with her pinkie. She wasn't sure if she correctly heard what the man standing before her was saying.
Not that she was in the mood for idle chit-chat. She had changed into her oldest and most comfortable pair of pajamas after coming home from another disastrous date. She was consoling herself regarding her string of cosmic bad luck with men, by eating a pint of cookie dough ice cream when someone knocked on her door.
Surprise, surprise! The man behind her peephole was none other than Tokiya Mikagami, looking resplendent in his grayish blue suit. Fuuko was starting to suspect that he had a sixth sense when it came to her dating disasters.
"You owe me, Kirisawa." he repeated the first thing that came out of his mouth the moment the door was opened.
"OK." Fuuko stepped aside to let the man in and led the way straight to her living room. "I'm a bit slow on the uptake today, so you have to explain yourself in clear and concise terms, not using more than four letters per word," she threw herself on the couch to resume her ice cream marathon. As an afterthought, she motioned for Mikagami to sit beside her.
Unlike Fuuko, Mikagami folded himself gracefully on the couch. "My date just canceled on me. I need a date to a fund-raiser tomorrow night."
Fuuko frowned. That was insulting on so many levels. But then she remembered that it was Mikagami she was talking to. That guy did not know bedside manner if it bit him in the arse, charm school or no charm school.
"Can you repeat the bit where I owe you?"
"You do owe me." he insisted as if he had just done her a huge favor.
"I heard you the first two times. I just wasn't sure I heard you correctly, though. How exactly do I owe you?"
"I listened to you whine about your dates." Mikagami explained. "Twice. Without complaint, I might add. I even plied you with alcohol both times." Then, he noted the ugly pajamas and the tub of half-empty ice cream. "And I have a feeling I'm about to hear you whine about another calamitous date."
"What makes you think that?" Fuuko demanded, knowing full well that her cheeks had become as red as ripe tomatoes.
"The Elmo pajamas," he deadpanned.
"Hey! Don't diss the Elmo," she retorted. "I had this since I was a college freshman."
"That's quite obvious."
Fuuko resisted the urge to stick her tongue out. Some people brought out the delinquent in her.
Mikagami stood up and grabbed Kirisawa's arm. "Come on, I'll make you something more substantial than that junk you're eating." He started dragging her towards her kitchen. "And talk while you're at it. The sooner you're done, the sooner we can discuss the function I'm attending."
Fuuko opened her mouth to protest his (correct) assumption that she had another one of those dates. But then, she realized that all of her adult friends, with whom she could share her dating dilemmas with, were abroad. Why spend a small fortune on long-distance calls when a willing (though not exactly gratuitous) ear was before her waiting to be bent? So she took a deep breath and began her story.
"Come on, you big sissy girl!" Fuuko screamed at the top of her lungs. "Punch his lights out!"
"Whoa! That's gotta hurt!" Her companion winced. "Hey! That was a cheap shot!"
Fuuko laughed. "You snooze, you lose!"
"Aw, man!" Her companion groaned as he furiously manipulated the joystick before him.
"Finish him." A commanding voice boomed.
"Yes!" Fuuko pumped one hand in the air as the character she was controlling on the video screen delivered the killing blow.
"You're quite good at this, aren't cha?"
Fuuko smiled at him. "I have a brother and a competitive streak. I've been told it's a volatile combination." She admitted. "But I haven't done this in a while. I've kinda forgotten how fun video games are."
Her companion grinned. "Isn't it?" He spoke with a lilting accent that had charmed Fuuko the moment they met.
Fuuko met her date in a motorcycle racetrack. Kurei, Recca's elder brother, gave Recca and Yanagi free tickets to watch a race. Yanagi, cringing at the thought of a huge concentration of testosterone trapped in one venue, made Recca take Fuuko instead.
Recca and Fuuko had a blast catching up with each others' lives while watching the motorcycles circle the track. And as a bonus, after the race, Kurei introduced them to a man whose claim to fame was being the greatest motorcycle racer in Japan. After a few minutes of small talk, the racer promptly asked Fuuko out on a date. Fuuko, charmed by the man's happy-go-lucky attitude and his off-the-wall sense of humor, agreed.
Of course, it didn't hurt that the racer had gorgeous long dirty-blond hair and a muscular body shown off by a loose-fitting tank top and form-fitting jeans. And the black bonnet that hid his eyes from the world lent him a certain hint of mystery that would send an average woman swooning.
Her date was known in the racing circle as . . .
"Joker?" Mikagami was incredulous. "Your date's name was Joker?" He paused in the middle of slicing carrots lest he cut his fingers.
"That's not his real name." Fuuko retorted defensively.
"So what is his real name?"
"His real name is," Fuuko paused, frowning. "I don't know exactly." She admitted.
"You went out with a guy whose name you didn't even know?" Mikagami was exasperated. "Do you know how dangerous that was?" The girl before him obviously needed a keeper. How she survived abroad on her own was a mystery to him.
"It was perfectly safe!" She protested. "We were in a public place. Plus Kurei vouched for him!"
Mikagami shook his head and turned to the counter to finish his slicing. He then placed the cubed carrots inside the blender filled with assorted pieces of fruits and shaved ice.
Fuuko waited until Mikagami turned off the blender. "So do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?" She demanded.
Mikagami poured the shake into two glasses and handed one to Fuuko before saying, "Go right ahead."
"Come on, it'll be fun," Joker coaxed.
Fuuko was hesitant. "But it's kinda embarrassing."
"It'll be worth it," Joker gave her his killer grin, made famous by a billboard in the middle of a major intersection.
Joker was not disappointed as Fuuko caved.
"Alright!" He laughed as he swiped a card at the scanner. "Dance Revo, here we come!" He exclaimed as he assisted Fuuko up the make-shift stage that doubled as controllers. "Don't worry, we'll start with the easy songs first."
Pretty soon, the two began hopping and stomping. A crowd gathered around them, cheering them on.
After a couple of songs, Fuuko had to bow out due to lack of skills on the dance machine. "That's it, I'm done!" Fuuko laughed.
"Aw," Joker was giving her the puppy-dog eyes. Fortunately for Fuuko, they were hidden by the dark bonnet that negligently covered a third of his face.
"Oh, you don't have to stop on my account," Fuuko hopped off the machine. "Go ahead, I'll just cheer you on."
"Nah," he said as he also jumped down. "It's no fun without you."
Fuuko resisted the urge to giggle and to coyly wrap a stand of her hair around her fingers like a high school girl.
"So what next?" Joker asked eagerly as he scanned the arcade. "Hmm. Decisions, decisions." Suddenly, Joker stilled. "Uh-oh."
Did Joker just say, 'Uh-oh'? Fuuko frowned. That didn't sound good. She looked around and saw what Joker was looking at.
A very beautiful woman, with a body worthy of a Victoria's Secret catalog, was striding purposely towards their direction. Fuuko noted that the boys in the arcade couldn't help but stare at the woman with blood-red hair. She would have been every man's fantasy except for the fact that attached to both her hands were two little girls.
Fuuko was not surprised when the woman stopped directly in front of Joker. "You're late." She snapped.
"But I was supposed to pick them up at-"
"Five?" The woman raised an eyebrow. "It's now six-thirty."
"Oh, sorry, luv," Joker looked apologetic. He kneeled to face the two children. "Sorry I was late."
The girl with pixie cut blue hair released the woman's hand and threw her arms around Joker. "It's OK, daddy."
It was Fuuko's turn to raise her eyebrows. Daddy?
Not to be outdone, the other girl, with hair the same shade as the woman by her side, also threw her arms around Joker.
When Joker stood up, he was carrying both girls on either arm.
"Oh," as if remembering his companion for the first time since the ladies arrived, Joker turned to Fuuko. "Sorry, Fuuko-san." He grinned. "By the way, this is my ex-wife, Neon. Neon, this is my date, Fuuko."
The two women regarded each other warily before acknowledging the others presence.
"And," Joker continued. "These two beautiful ladies are my kids. This is Aki," he was looking at the girl with blue hair. "And this is Miki."
"You certainly know how to pick them, Kirisawa," Mikagami snickered.
"It's not that he's already got children," Fuuko shrugged. "It's just that afterwards, Neon and I got to talking while Joker was playing with the kids."
"And?"
"According to Neon, being married to Joker was like being married to Peter Pan," Fuuko made a face. "I wanted a husband and a father to my future children, not a teenaged son."
Mikagami saw the anguish on Fuuko's face. "Are you sure Neon's telling the truth, Kirisawa? Maybe she's just making it up."
"It's possible," Fuuko shrugged. "I think she's still in love with him. She's just exasperated because he's so irresponsible and reckless. She probably thought that he'll try to change his lifestyle if she left."
"Then you know better that to believe all the things that come out her mouth, Kirisawa."
"Mi-chan, if there was any possibility that Neon and Joker could get back together, I don't want to stand in their way. Miki and Aki deserve to have their mom and dad together."
Mikagami had nothing to say to that.
Fuuko nodded glumly. "But enough about my problems. It's your turn. Did you say that one of Japan's most eligible bachelors just got dumped and needs a date tomorrow night?"
to be continued . . .
(right after the break)