I don't think you realize how much you love something until you have to give it up.
~LoneStar~

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sorry for any spelling/typing mistakes. I don't have a beta to help me, yet.

Something wasn't right. Something was off. Something was going to get in me in trouble. I think it has something to do with Jake and his car. Ever since he came back from getting his parts, he's hasn't been the same.

No more "I love you, Bella's", no more "I know you don't feel the same", and no more awkward almost-kisses. He hadn't tried once to kiss or hug me in the past week. I didn't know what his deal was. Did Paul finally push Jake too far? Did he snap at Sam? Was he fed up with being part of the pack?

"Bye Bells, see you later."

I just hoped he was okay and that we could still be friends. He didn't seem like he even wanted to be friends anymore. Maybe he had thought things through and finally realized I wasn't good enough for him. Maybe he thought that I was serious about not being able to give him what he needed. I was okay with that. I've told him again and again and now he's realized.

I don't think I had a problem with that yet. If he didn't want to be here, why should I make him stay? He had his own free will. He had has his own life. Maybe one day his life would include someone who could give him so much more than I ever could.

I dropped the plate I didn't realize I'd been holding. Someone. Imprint. Not me. Did he really find his other half? At the auto repair shop? I vaguely remember thinking that whoever it was that he imprinted on wouldn't be good enough for him. I would have to see for myself who she was. I doubted that anyone could deserve Jacob. He was amazing, perfect in every way.

I just hoped that she knew what she was getting into. But now that Jake had someone to share his life with, where would that leave me? I didn't relate well to the other guys in the pack. They didn't really like me because I was the exception to the only rule they had ever created. Never tell anyone our secret. Technically, no one told me. I guessed it right when I was half sleep-deprived. I hardly think that counts.

Now Jake had someone to share everything with. Would I go my own way? Leave Forks maybe? I thought about that. I hadn't seen my mother in a while. She might be glad if I visited her in Florida. But I had gotten used to the cold weather here. I didn't want to move anywhere else.

"Honey, I know you don't like the cold. Why don't you move back here with me and Phil?"

Phil. Part of the reason I had exiled myself to Forks in the first place. Since my mother remarried, she was happy with Phil. He wasn't a bad guy, but his job, a minor league baseball player, cause him to have to move a around a lot. Mom had always offered to stay home with me so I wouldn't be alone. She always would, even though I knew she didn't like being far away from Phil.

That was when I came up with the entire "I want to go to Forks" thing. If only I knew what I was getting myself into.

"No, Mom. I want to go. You and Phil will be fine without me here."

That didn't change the fact I wouldn't be fine without them here. Charlie was an easy person to live with, do the cooking and help straighten the house, then you're free to do whatever you want.

Which led me right back to becoming friends with Jake. Obviously, we were both human when I met him, so there were no complications, but as time went on Sam and his little gang started looking at him as if they were waiting for him or something. I knew Jake was scared, but I didn't think we would 'cross-over' that quickly.

So here I was, alone on a Saturday night, waiting for Jake to call, again. How many times had I done this? I didn't think it was healthy. I got up off the couch, throwing on my old boots and a jacket. I got halfway out the door when I realized I had Charlie to worry about.

I ran back inside and left an illegible note on the counter explaining where I was and how to find dinner. After I finished, I raced back out to car, not sure what the hurry was, and drove towards Jake's house. My loud truck announced my arrival before I could. Though the truck was loud enough to wake anyone up that was inside, no one came out. All the lights were on and the front window was open.

"I don't know right now, Dad. She'll be mad for sure. I don't think I want to tell her."

"Sam won't let me tell you."

"You didn't want to tell her your secret either. Or the fact that you loved her and barely know her." I had thought they were talking about me until I heard the part 'barely know her' Jake and I had been best friends since I could remember.

I stormed out of the car, not bothering to close the door. "Billy, open the door. I can hear you in there." I pounded the door with m fists until Jacob, looking weary eyed and miserable, opened up.

"Hey Bella. What are you doing here?" What was I doing here? I wanted to see if Jake was still alive, to make myself believe that I was just letting my fears get the best of me.

"Seeing if you're still alive. Where have you been? I called almost ten times and no one answered." I'd sat by the phone waiting for it to ring. Every half hour it didn't, I thought about calling but thought better of it.

"Oh. Well I've been kind of busy. Things around here have been getting pretty crazy." He didn't look up from his feet.

"Cut the crap, Jake. Where is she? I want to meet her." He looked at me for the first time since I walked up here. His face said he didn't expect me to know anything about that.

"W-Wh-What are you talking about?" He stuttered out.

"Where's the lucky girl? I want to see if she's good enough for you." I regretted it as soon as I said it.

"She's perfect. Of course she's good enough, too good even. That's the problem. You're all too good." He muttered the last part to himself.

"Do I get to meet her? I think I should." My brave voice didn't seem to be matching the emotions I was feeling inside.

"Sure. She's in my garage. You know the way." I walked out the back door, headed into the darkness that was Jake's garage.

"Jake? That you?" A high pitched voice called out.

"No. It's his friend, Bella. I wanted to meet you." I still couldn't see her, so I had no clue what she looked like.

"Oh! So you're the famous Bella he won't stop talking about?" She walked under the only light in the garage and I could see her face. She was beautiful; brown eyes the same as mine, bronze ringlets framing her face. "My name's Renesmee, but you can call me Nessie."

"So…" it was awkward, now that we were past the point of introductions. I was still hidden in the dark.

"Why don't you come over and we can talk? I actually want to be able to see you." She joked. How could she be taking this so… so coolly? I would've wanted to run for my life if some werewolf told me he wanted to spend forever with me and that I had no choice in the matter. "Do you mind….you know…me and Jake?"

Did I mind? Was it really her that was bothering me? "No, I don't mind. I'm happy for him. He has you. I've seen him all of two minutes and I can tell." I could. The way she was in his thoughts the entire time. She was his Juliet and I was Paris. I remembered how Paris ended up. They fight. Paris falls, but I wasn't going to fight. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't suicidal.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know he's your best friend." She was a good person. She deserved him more than I ever did.

"Completely sure. You make him happy." Like I never could. "I hope he makes you happy too." She started to say something, but Jake's voice cut her off.

"Nessie? You there? Bella?" I was an afterthought now. Of course. He walked into the garage and looked around for her. His eyes were so full of love. I couldn't handle it. My emotions were about to get the better of me. "Oh. There you are. I see you met Bella already."

"Yeah, I just got to say before you came in."

"Oh. Well you guys can talk. I'll be inside." He started to turn around.

"No, Jake. It's okay. I was just leaving anyway. I've got to cook dinner for Charlie and…." I trailed off, not having another halfway decent excuse for leaving.

"Oh. Okay. See you later, Bells." Yeah, later, whenever that was.

"Bye Jake. Bye Renesemee." My goodbyes sounded like whispers as I walked out the door, their blissful voices fading with the distance, leaving me to wallow in my misery.

SONG: Long Distance by Brandy

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