I knocked hesitantly on the clubroom's door. This was oddly nerve-racking. I even gulped nervously.

"Enter," Haruhi's sombre voice came through the door with crystal clarity.

Like a misbehaving child being called up to see his stern father, I slowly opened the door. It creaked ominously. How annoying.

The room was surprisingly dark. There were no lights on, and the sunshine from the window had disappeared in a matter of minutes since I'd left. Dark clouds were gathering. The only real light source was the computer's monitor, lending the shadows a ghostly glow.

And Haruhi was nowhere to be seen.

"Haruhi?"

"What?!" an irritated Haruhi asked, head shooting up from behind the computer screen, her hair bouncing along with her head's sudden appearance. Apparently, she'd been hiding – no, that wasn't a fair assessment – apparently she'd been staring intently at the screen, merely hidden from my view.

It still made me jump in shock.

I also gave out a frightened yelp, but it was a manly one, I swear!

"Why are you screaming like a fresh babe?" Her brows furrowed suspiciously. "What are you doing here? I told you all to go home, didn't I? Do I need to clean your ears with a hippopotamus tail?"

"Uh, no, that won't be necessary."

"Hh?"

"What?"

"Grrm!"Haruhi gave me a nasty scowl.

"Look, I'm just here to…"

"Mrrh?!" She was starting to get really irritated by my behaviour. She had abandoned using actual words after all. It seemed they could no longer convey what she felt, so she had seemingly reverted to grunting like an animal.

"Ch!" Haruhi stood up straight, the chair behind her spinning on its axel at the sudden departure. Her eyes flashed in the dim glow in front of her.

Aww, man. This is so awkward… At least no one else is around.

"I just – want to – find out" – ohmanohmanohman – "how are – you – uh – doing?"

"Keh?!?"

"What's wrong?"

"…"

Haruhi just stared at me with a mixture of incredulous shock and ambivalent terror.

"Um, sorry?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head uneasily.

Haruhi collapsed back into her chair, her gaze never leaving me. Her shocked eyes had softened into a slightly questioning frown. She stared at me with an uncertainty I don't recall seeing in her eyes before… No wait, I have seen it before. There have only been a handful of different times and places when I've gotten a proper glimpse at the person behind the eccentric smile and loud shouting. A girl tortured by a deep emptiness, a sadness not produced through negative feelings but cold, hard reasoning.

Some guy, a long time ago I guess, said we all wear masks. It's so true. The girl sitting at the far end of the room from me, confused by my presence, was probably the closest I'd ever get to the real Suzumiya Haruhi under that bubbly exterior she used to ward off what I could only assume were the haunting demons of nihilistic thoughts.

That's why she needed to find something wondrous, something amazing. That's why she needed strange friends. She needed to fill the void with something, to distract herself. She desperately wanted to live in denial. She's such a smart girl after all, how couldn't she have realized how empty and pointless everything was. She just wanted to go back to living in ignorance, in a little fantasy world where she was special.

And I can't really blame her, can I? Isn't that what we all want? I certainly did once, and then I… what did I do? Give up? Gave up my sense of wonder and adventure at coming to my own realizations about the world. But she'd given it back to me, she'd given me real adventures and wonders, even though she hadn't truly discovered anything she'd wanted for herself despite how relentlessly she searched for it, no matter how dubious she might actually be towards genuine mysterious happenings. It's actually pretty sad if you think about it…

"What's wrong?" Haruhi whispered quietly, breaking my reverie.

"Huh? I just…" My voice trailed off. I cleared my throat, it felt raspy and dry at the same time.

Wow, I really do feel sorry for her, but unfortunately, we live in the real world where we have certain responsibilities to other people.

"You still haven't given me a proper answer, you know."

"About what?"

"About how you feel."

"Oh…"

We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Then suddenly, Haruhi opened up in a silent voice, "I…"

Or so I had thought.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"I don't know!" Haruhi suddenly yelled as she stood up once again.

Huh?

"You happy now?!"

I stared at the suddenly angry girl with shock. There was just no getting through with her. She was so far behind that wall she'd built.

"What is your deal today anyway?!" Haruhi questioned me, striding around the tables until she stood right in front of me, glaring up at me. "Why do you keep poking your stupid-ass nose where it doesn't belong?!"

To be honest, I hadn't been betting on a reaction like this from her. I hadn't really known what to expect coming in here to ask her how she was doing, but certainly wouldn't have bet on an angry verbal lashing.

"What do you want from me?!" Haruhi shouted. Her eyes still gleamed in the dark room, but otherwise, I couldn't really tell what was going on with her face. The weather had grown worse. It looked like a really serious storm was brewing; it was already starting to rain. The occasional tapping of drops of water against the windowpanes created an unsettling cacophony for me in the quiet room.

"I…" My voice failed me again. I didn't know what she wanted me to say, there was such a sudden intensity in her words, it completely and utterly shocked me. I don't think I've ever seen her like this, so angry, so… truly emotional.

"What?! What do you want from me?" she asked me, her voice growing softer again.

I gulped nervously, feeling that much more was at stake here than I had originally thought.

"Tell me… I want to know… No, I n-" Haruhi suddenly halted in the middle of a word, sounding almost desperate. Her head dropped, hanging down limply. "Just tell me what you want."

"I want –"

The image of Nagato's fleeting look at me before she collapsed passed through my mind.

"Yes?" Haruhi's whisper came out as an anxious breath.

"I want everything to go back to normal."

Haruhi was silent, still staring at the floor between us.

"I want things to go back to the way they were the day before yesterday."

Haruhi remained perfectly still, like a statue of a hanged man, head drooping depressingly. Then she muttered, so inaudibly I was barely able to hear it, one word: "Fine."

She then pushed me aside, sending me flying into the wall next to us roughly, as she pelted for the door. Like the strong winds outside the complex, she darted through it, slamming it ferociously behind her.

And so, I was left alone in the dark room, with the door still swinging on its hinges, wondering what had just happened, and if I'd just made a terrible mistake.