If I had to, I would ring every doorbell and knock on every door, look in every building, even in the sewers of the city to find Haruhi. Noting would stop me from finding Haruhi on my quest to save Nagato.
Like a mad man, I actually did start running down the streets, splashing the occasional puddle, stopping at the doors of random houses, desperately searching for the name Suzumiya on plaques and mailboxes. It took me a long while of aimless wondering until I realized, after cooling down while running around in the darkening evening, that we lived in the modern age and there were far easier ways of finding a person.
Stupid, stupid, stupid hothead! Just calm down and think! Don't think about Nagato disintegrating in front of you. That look in her eyes, just before – NO!
I pulled out my cell phone, intending to call a number service – Oh wait! I have her number in my phone's memory, don't I? – only to find its battery's dead. Figures…
Okay, think, don't panic. Nagato – No! - think! If you want to find someone… how about a phone book? I've got enough spare change to even make a call if I need to from a pay phone. If I find the Suzumiya residence's number, I can call her to come meet me. Heh, this time it'll be me bothering her with phone calls at inappropriate hours (a thought that slightly warmed me up in the cool outdoors of the evening).
There's gotta be a booth around here somewhere… Where am I anyway?
That's the park over there, where Asahina-san has taken me so often, with the benches and time travel. It's a public spot, there's bound to be a booth around there somewhere.
I jogged towards the park, only now starting to feel tired by the exertions of the day. My legs had started to ache from all the running about and my lungs were burning from lack of oxygen. I'm not really in the best of shape for something like this.
But all the physical tiredness was nothing compared to the fatigue of my mind. Just during this day, I'd been put on an emotional rollercoaster with everyone I knew, from Nagato to Haruhi and Koizumi and Asahina-san in between. And then – and then – no, don't think about the past, focus on the future.
Damn it, where are the phone booths! I see them everywhere when I don't need them and now…
I slowly jogged through the park, nearing my favourite bench, head revolving like an owl's, searching for my own unique type of prey. It was then that I noticed something astonishing: my first bit of luck that day.
Haruhi was sitting on my favourite bench, quietly staring up at the emerging stars of the evening, uncaring of the world around her, even the footsteps of my approach against the path.
It was only when I stood next to her, doubled over and wheezing, that she noticed something was wrong and turned to look at me, indescribable amazement colouring her pretty face.
"K-Kyon, what are you doing here?" Haruhi croaked, sliding along the bench, away from me in shock. "I thought you were a rapist or something for a moment there."
"No" – more wheezing from me – "worries there."
Haruhi huffed indignantly, before she turned to look at the dark skies again.
"I'd ask you what you're doing here, all sweaty and panting, late in the evening, but I really don't care." Haruhi gave me a brief sideways scowl before she returned to stargazing. "Now go. I'm not in the mood to deal with stupid jerks."
"Haruhi… please, I need to talk to you… again."
Oh boy… No! This is no time to feel embarrassed, squeamish. You're here with a mission, remember – Nagato's floating head passed through my mind – No, don't remember. Just keep focused… on her.
"Get lost, you platypus fart. You're really annoying," Haruhi said angrily, still looking upwards, but I could tell she wasn't focusing on the stars anymore.
"Haruhi, remember when I said I wanted things to go back to normal?"
"…Yes," Haruhi said, now sounding surprisingly apprehensive all of a sudden.
"I… can we just forget everything that's happened between us over the past few days? Go back properly? I'd really like that, you know, before all the craziness that happened," I said, standing up and smiling softly, hoping that that would be enough.
All it takes is to guide her subconscious in the right direction, right? That's what happened earlier, when Nagato came back, isn't it? So all I have to do is make her want to return to the state of affairs previous to Nagato's disappearance. Then Nagato would return once again, just like that.
But alas, Haruhi seemed to only get angrier than ever before at this. She finally turned to look at me properly, her eyes seething with what I took to be a deep hate.
"So you wanna go back, huh? Before you asked me things, before you wanted to get to know me better? Is that it? Before I wanted to know more about you? Before I asked you what you wanted? Before all the craziness?" Haruhi stood up, fists clenched tightly and shaking by her sides. The venom in her voice hurting me almost as deeply as the pained, angry loneliness shining from her eyes.
Oops. What did I do wrong now?
"All I wanted was to have fun! Friends I could depend on, who would stand by my side, no matter what everyone else thought about me! I know people think I'm crazy or something and most of the time I don't care! But sometimes I do, I can't help it, and it hurts! How would you like it? Those constant sneering looks and condescending voices, always belittling you! It hurts sometimes! But then I have you guys! We – we have so much fun together! I finally feel special – no, happy! All the cool things we've done… And now you tell me you want to go back to before the craziness? The craziness that is me?!"
"No, Haruhi I – I just want to go back, please. Just two days, okay? That's all, I swear."
"Don't lie." She looked crossly at me.
"I'm not."
"You think I'm crazy too, admit it."
"Well at times… you do act pretty strangely, but…"
Haruhi's head lowered along with her brows, the dangerous glare only deepening.
"Look, I just want go back and get back some… normalcy… You wouldn't believe what I've been through today with you and the Brigade." What should I do? How could I make her understand me? Was this it? Would I have to reveal everything I knew to Haruhi at last, using my trump card? Would I doom the world? Save a friend? Or even lose another?
Haruhi, angrily: "Normal?! So… you wanna go back further, have everything back to 'normal', maybe before you ever met me, right? With your boring school and stupid life and Taniguchis and Kunikidas?! Well, fine by me, you can go to hell for all I care! The twelfth level, just for you! Where maggots will eat your ears and Cerberus will bite your ass off, leprechauns will kick you in the privates, your tongue will be sprinkled with a never ending fountain of super mega hot sauce, and you'll come back fully regenerated every minute, so it can all happen again and again and again and again!! Just as you deserve, you traitorous dog!! Oath breaker!! The Brigade has no need for weak hearted infidels like you!"
When she got like this, there were probably only two sure ways to shut her up. One involved a name drop and then a lot of explaining and convincing about time travel I didn't have any time for (I think there's some irony there), while the other one was more satisfying and horrifying at the same time, not to mention faster. Nothing else could probably affect her as deeply as it would. I placed my hands around her face and –
I kissed Haruhi, my lips silencing her angry speech as her lips came to a grinding halt against mine.
I stared into her shocked eyes, which slowly lost their sharp, focused anger at me. The hate in her melted away with the intimate contact, along with my own anxieties and worries for the day. For a moment, nothing but Haruhi and I remained in the world.
A gentle breeze blew past us, causing Haruhi's hair to billow over her now half lidded eyes, staring almost dreamily back at my own.
When our lips parted, she whispered with a soft smile, "There's no going back now, is there?"
I didn't know what to say, I was so messed up at the moment. I was thrilled. I was horrified. I was sick with worry. I was giddy with excitement. I was angry at the world. I was in deep mourning for a lost friend. I was on a mission to save that friend, willing to do anything.
I had no idea what I was really doing, and even less about why I was doing it. But I knew one thing for certain: I had to save Nagato, I couldn't just give up now.
"No, Haruhi… we have to go back."
"Bu – why?" Haruhi asked, sounding hurtfully confused now.
I hate myself so much right now for some reason. I took a deep breath, preparing myself mentally, as I lowered my hands down to grip Haruhi by the shoulders.
"Haruhi, I wouldn't trade our time together in the SOS-Brigade for anything, trust me, I've lived the alternative. I want to go back to the time with Asahina-san in her cute costumes, serving tea; with Koizumi's plastic smile, always losing to me at stupid games; with Nagato… with Nagato reading her books; and you, you leading us on crazy adventures, filling all our lives with so much trouble and excitement and fantasy and purpose. If I lost any of you, I'd go crazy. That's what I don't want to change, ever. So please, Haruhi, can we go back? Can you go back to being my SOS-Brigade Commander?"
I let her go, taking a step back. I couldn't do any more could I? If this didn't work, I'm not sure if anything would. Maybe I really would have to use my ace in the hole, but there was no guarantee that it would work, and I was even more dubious about its results if it did work. Haruhi needed to want to return to the way things were a few days back, all by herself, otherwise it wouldn't work at all.
Haruhi cocked her head, looking almost lost, thinking deeply, holding a closed fist to her chest. Suddenly she broke into the warmest, most unadulterated smile on her beautiful face I'd ever seen. "Sure, Kyon, whatever you want."
And with those words my heart soared with wings of hope. My, I've never felt this happy! I feel like writing poems and running through the streets, proclaiming my happiness. Step aside Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad, there's a new prophet of happiness and peace in the world, his heart overflowing with transcendent joy!
"Thank you, Haruhi." I took her hand and held it tightly, until the dark night descended upon us, although even its darkness and coldness couldn't drive away our glee.
We remained like that for a long while – I have no idea how long exactly – just staring into each other's eyes. Both comforted by the knowledge that nothing would change between us, that we'd go on several more adventures, that we'd be okay.
Eventually Haruhi had departed, saying she already had something schemed up for all of us the following day. I was so happy, that is, until I realized that I wasn't entirely sure if all of us would be there tomorrow to take part in her insane escapades.
Had I succeeded? Was Nagato back among us? The chill of the night crept through my clothes suddenly. Before, with Haruhi, I hadn't even noticed how chilly it had gotten. Now, all alone with my doubts, the shadows seemed longer and more dreadful.
What was I going to do? Had Haruhi worked her magic? I couldn't tell. Maybe I would have to go and find Koizumi or Asahina-san, they'd known about the earlier reality warp after all. I wonder if they were still at the school… No that'd be stupid. Despite the confident things they had told me, I bet their both fearing the world's going to end, huddled under their sheets by now… poor Asahina-san…… What time is it anyway?
I checked my watch. Ten minutes to midnight. Huh, now that's kind of ominous isn't it? It's at times like these, in those clichéd stories, that something strange and bizarre happens, foreshadowing something miraculous at midnight.
Can you hear me?
Huh? Who said that?
The voice was weak and distorted, as if coming through a bad connection on an ancient radio system.
I turned around, craning to see the voice I'd heard, but in the dark park, with all those shadows everywhere, it could have come from anywhere.
Can you hear me?
"Uhm, yes?" I gave a nearby tree a suspicious look.
It's me…
Suddenly, I recognised that weak monotone, over what I thought was static interference.
Yuki?!
Yes.
You – you're – you're back! – You're – inside my head! I can't believe this, you're back!
To a certain extent, I was never really gone. I exist as a mere data entity at the moment, lacking a physical interface. I am using careful manipulation of your cerebral synapses in the area of language interpretation to facilitate communication.
What happened to you?
After attempting deletion of my unauthorised copy, an unknown risk factor, both of our interfaces were damaged beyond repair. We are both currently taking the next step in protocol if our physical interfaces were to be terminated. New interfaces are being constructed at a safe location.
Safe location?
My place of residence.
Can I… make sure you're okay? Can I come see you?
As a matter of fact, I require your assistance.
Anything, Nagato. You wouldn't believe half of the things I've already done to get you back.
As I stated before, I was not gone, my physical interface merely disintegrated. Both me and my copy were attempting the deletion of the other, but because of our identical processing power, neither one gained the advantage. Neither one succeeded in deleting the other. Now we are both building new interfaces, at exactly the same speed. Then the deletion process will be reattempted, with a high probability for similar results. I fear we will remain deadlocked for an eternity unless an external factor is introduced. This is why I require your assistance.
Anything.
You must delay my copy's reconstruction process. My residence will be free for you to gain access upon entering. You will find us both there. Delay her interface's reconstruction, and I shall take care of the rest.
Okay.
Ending transmission.
Wait, Nagato! Nagato! Are you still there?
Nothing.