Gosh! I want to first take this moment to thank EVERYONE for your reviews! Your responses were so nice and I'm glad many of you are enjoying it. Here is the next chapter in the series. I HIGHLY recommend that you listen to "Lost!" by Coldplay (the final song in episode 3.04) because it really sets up most of the tone of the chapter. It was the song that motivated every single detail I wrote in this chapter. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ugly Betty

Chapter 3 - Lost!

Numb. Hollow. Void. Emptiness. Hurt. Anger. Disgrace. Vulnerable.

Every inch slowly sinking and shrinking within itself. All going behind a wall that was crumbling and tumbling. The foundations of the bricks coming loose and starting to fall one by one. Thrown down with reckless abandon. Unexpected, and lost. Lost within the disasters that were unfolding.

Drip. Another drop.

Every drop of water representing each thought, feeling, and plan he ever designed. Every dream that has continually been crashing down amongst him. Washing away all the hope he ever dreamed of. He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath to calm his already shot nerves.

More hot drops, scolding his face. Rolling down his cheeks, leaving its mark as it continued its descent. He turned his face upward allowing more to punish him for his actions. Each drop rained down upon him, taking away every kiss that had been placed upon him. Falling from his face and to his chest, slowly rolling, taking away every touch that trailed there the night before.

They rolled farther down his naked body towards the essence of him, and Gio closed his eyes. He was completely lost in this moment, allowing the shower to devour him. He groaned. Those eyes. They wouldn't leave his mind. Haunting him. He hit his fist against the shower wall while leaning forward.

Why did Betty have to be there? At that time of night. Catching him in the sinful acts he was doing. Gio didn't get an ounce of sleep last night, replaying that one scene in his head. When all time had stood still. The fact that he went through with it anyway. The kisses. The touches. Her moans. Her screams. Her writhing underneath him. Gio never felt so lost. He officially jumped off the deep end.

Gio shut the water off and stood there. Breathing heavy. Every muscle in his back tight. He didn't know how much more he could take of him torturing himself. This morning was painful enough. When the clock finally turned to 7AM, he rolled out of the unfamiliar bed and grabbed his boxers. He needed to get out of there as quick as he could. He never had been in this position before. Gio had felt dirty. He remembered vividly how awkward it was when she woke up to look at him as he tried to escape without a word.

He grabbed a towel that was hanging right outside the shower door and dried himself off. It was only Saturday and yet it felt like an eternity had passed, he wished that it had. Gio knew that this was only the start to the weekend, and it was the calm before the storm. He heard his phone ring and he went into his bedroom to grab where he had tossed it aside when he got home this morning. He saw the deli number pop up and he rolled his eyes.

"Hello?" was all Gio got out while trying to stifle a yawn.

"So when do I find out about your night since as your wing man, I really took one for the team keeping Heather occupied. Man, that girl had no substance and was so drunk. Wasn't feeling it," Marco said with a laugh.

Gio chuckled, the first smile on his face. "Oh I thought that usually was your type, since girls usually run when they see what you look like in the morning," he chortled at him.

"Oh look at you Mr. Funny Man! What about you, what did deli girl have to say to you this morning?"

Gio got silent, the short burst of laughter that he had experienced already diminished. He wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about it yet, but knew he had no choice. His cousin would drag it out of him. It was like taking off a band-aid, but the anticipation was making him anxious enough.

"Gio, you're quiet. Was she that bad? It seemed like she had some good moves on the dance floor so I can't imagine....."

"STOP! Just stop that train of thought," Gio said, his voice getting slightly higher in the process.

"So she was good then? So what are you bugging about?" Marco asked questioning.

"She was there," Gio said meekly. He moved to lie down on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling and watched the fan blades spin, almost giving him a peaceful thought.

"Well I would hope she was there. It would be kind of hard to hook up by yourself," Marco said jokingly.

"I don't mean Kara," Gio said pointedly. "I mean her," putting the emphasis on 'her' hoping that he would pick up on that.

"Oh....... OH! Why was she there? That had to be odd. Or was she a part of it?"

"Ha! Get real. I have no clue why she was at that apartment complex. But she saw us while we were kissing in the entranceway and on our way upstairs. She looked so shocked."

"Good! Well maybe she can understand some of the pain that you've had."

Gio sighed, "You don't know Betty Suarez. Depending on what the shock value equated to, I either will never see her again, or Monday at work is going to be hell."

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As much as Gio was dreading it, he was very thankful that Monday had come. He had gone back home to his parents house on Sunday for family dinner, but everything was motions. Nothing made sense, just one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. He felt so unmotivated with no purpose. He stared at the ceiling on his living room couch the whole time with no thought or feeling passing through, just his indifference stance. So when Monday came, he was glad he would have the deli to keep him occupied.

Gio didn't know what to expect, if he would see Betty at the deli the first second he got to work. Actually, hopefully she doesn't throw a garbage can through the deli window again. But the coast was clear when he got to work. No multi-colored outfit waiting outside the doors, the window intact, and the giant smiling pickle teasing him as he looked up at it.

Gio was even more surprised that lunch hour came and went and still didn't see any sight of Betty. More time to gather his thoughts. He hadn't uttered a single word to her since he went away to Italy and had no idea what would spew out of his mouth. But by 2:30PM, he thought he might be in the clear. No call, no fight, nothing. The phone dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Gio's Deli," he heard Marco say in the background. He heard footsteps come towards the front of the deli. "Hey boss, someone on the line is asking for you. He said it was urgent."

Gio was perplexed on who would call him with an urgent phone call. Family at that point would always call his cell phone just in case. He saw Marco grab his apron so he could man the front of the deli while Gio talked to them.

"Gio speaking, how can I help you today?"

"Calling to tell you its good to see you got back from Italy safe and sound. Most of Mode has figured that you came back, though I'm the only one who knows you've been back a few weeks already," Daniel Meade said with a chuckle in his throat.

"Thanks man. I appreciate it, seriously. So why call now of all time?"

There was a pregnant pause before Gio heard Daniel clear his throat. "I figured I should let you know that Betty knows you're back....."

"I know I saw her Friday night," Gio said slowly.

"Friday night? But she was at her family's house, did you swing by there?"

"Why would she visit her family, she lives with them?" Gio said.

"She moved out onto her own after she got back from her trip. She lives in an apartment complex on her own."

Gio sighed, making sense to why he saw her so late at night. Returning back to the place where she lived. Oh crap, he realized, she lived there, in that complex. With that girl. Life couldn't get any worse could it.

"Well that makes sense now why I saw her......" Gio trailed off, getting quiet near the end.

Daniel chuckled, "Oh I see how you ran into her. Didn't think you had it in you Gio Rossi. That had to be awkward."

"You don't even know the half of it."

"She went on a walk earlier, she looked really out of it. I'm actually surprised I haven't seen her."

Neither one said anything for a second. Gio heard in the distance the deli bell chime, a pair of heels walking in. The murmur of talking coming from the deli area. He was about to say something to Daniel but was rudely interrupted. "GIO!"

"Was that....."

The heels came quickly through the door, Marco right on the heels, a pleading face asking for forgiveness. Gio looked up and he was met by the very eyes that had been haunting him all weekend. He was frozen on the spot, he was not prepared for this moment. "Daniel, I'll have to call you back. I'm..."

"DANIEL?! You can talk to Daniel but you can't talk to me!" Betty shrieked while giving him an incredulous look.

"Got it Gio. I had no idea she was going there, though I probably should have figured that one out. I'll call you later, you might need a drink."

Gio hung up the deli phone and got up from his desk, putting his hands in his pocket. Despite how hurt and angry he had been feeling towards her, he couldn't deny that she looked great. The wacky outfits she sports were more subdued but still her. Despite the look in her eyes, he forgot how much he loved her eyes. Memory did not do her any justice. He watched her cross her arms across her chest as she cocked her head to the side. She started tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for an explanation, a response, to what had been going on.

"Hey Suarez," as all that he was able to mumble out, his brain still trying to process everything that just happened.

"Not one word from you Gio. You couldn't pick up the phone, maybe return one of my many phone calls. God Gio, I was worried sick that something happened to you!"

"Well I'm fine, I'm a peach. Great, now we can go back to our lives," Gio said. He saw from the corner of his eyes Marco raise his eyebrows before backing away from the door, probably to disappear and let Gio and Betty have the few choice words that were long overdue.

"Gio, we need to talk about this."

"About what Betty? The fact that you didn't chose me? That you needed "me" time, that I wasn't important enough in your life? Or how about the fact that you took my heart and stomped all over it and spit on it at the softball game, never once thinking about me. About how I would feel. Did you ever stop and think that?" Gio said in one breath, his voice getting louder and more erratic with each word passing through his lips. All restraint that he had snapped, the anger he had buried for so long finally coming to a head.

"You told me to call you when I figured it out. And I DID! All while I was gone on my trip. The whole time I thought about where I wanted my life to go and how I wanted you to be a part of it," Betty said softly.

"Lucky me," Gio said before giving her a pointed look, "You shouldn't have had to think about ANYTHING! You'd known for a long time how I felt for you and yet you still lead me on. It shouldn't have been this hard decision that you make it out to be. I had to sit there watching you with Egg Salad forever and how he treated you and watch you follow him around like he was some knight in shining armor."

"I loved him Gio."

"Yea, well life isn't a fantasy. Relationships take work, from both parties. And I put my heart and soul into treating you the way you should," he paused, trying to compose his thoughts. "When you finally kissed me back in the deli and every other time past that, my dreams were coming true. I had waited so long and I finally got what I wanted. And when you agreed to go to Italy with me, you made me the happiest guy in the world. But what did you do? You ditched me! I told you if you weren't ready it was ok, but instead you avoided the problem."

"Oh and your some St. Gio or something?! You are one big hypocrite!" Betty said, her voice dangerously low.

"I'm the hypocrite?" he questioned.

"You ran away from the problem yourself! Gio, I'm sorry. I am sorry for the way I treated you before you left for Italy. But I really did have feelings for you, but everything was happening so quickly. And you told me yourself, you didn't want to be the rebound guy. And that is exactly where it was going," she said slowly while looking at her feet. Betty looked up into his eyes then and he saw a different look, hurt was evident but he couldn't put his finger on what else was there. "But then I got back and called you, and never once would you call me back. It was as if you never wanted to talk to me again."

"Well what do you expect Suarez? You broke my heart, did you want to take my manhood in the process?" Gio cracked angrily.

"Well you broke mine! I thought maybe you hadn't come back yet. But then Friday," her voice cracked and he saw her take a shaky breath. "I come home to my apartment after a really long day and comforting my sister in how much of a dog the Coach was and there you were. The one guy that had proved me wrong time and time again, who was always there for me, I discover you turned your back on me."

"I did no such....."

"Kissing that TRAMP! You proved me wrong, I now believe that EVERY guy is a jerk. And here you were, in my apartment complex in a way I thought I would never see. Trying to sex it up with some random girl that you probably met at the bar and taking advantage of."

"I was not taking advantage of her. And she's not a tramp!" Gio said defensively.

"Oh I'm sorry, you're just a dog yourself, sexing it up in the middle of the hallway. Tell me, was she everything you hoped she would be?" Betty said as she took a step towards him, her breathing heavy as her eyes became wild with tears.

"Does it even MATTER to you? Listen to yourself B, why do you care. You didn't want me, so it shouldn't matter to you," he said, trying to reason with her while trying to fight down the bubble of disgrace he had for himself.

"I wanted YOU Gio. You! All I wanted was for you to get back so we can continue where we were and build upon it. I knew I wanted you."

Gio slammed his fist on his desk before pointing his finger at her. "No Betty, you can't have it both ways. You hurt me, you tore me apart and now you want to put the pieces back together? It doesn't work that way. Having a relationship with you after all the hurt is the last thing I need right now. I don't even know if I want you in my life!"

And then they started, the tears she was holding finally released and he felt like scum. But he couldn't be dragged anymore through the mud. He already had been de-moralized by her, and he needed to gain some self worth again. To have some of his pride back. Some of his confidence.

"I can't even look at you," was all Betty could say as she looked down, her teary voice ripping through his heart like he feared it would. "You disgust me, flaunting that you've moved on, kissing her and touching her and fully aware that I was right there watching it. I don't know what sick game you are playing Giovanni Rossi, but I will not be some pawn in it."

He chuckled bitterly as he took a step forward and put a finger underneath her chin to bring her eyes up to his. "You were the queen from day one, you've never been the pawn. And you started ALL the games the second you walked into my life." He paused right there and watched her eyes get wide. He spoke to her in a soft voice, almost coming off huskily, and he hated himself for that, "Why do you have this hold on me Betty? I don't want to hurt anymore. Why do you affect me the way you do?"

She looked into his eyes and her stare burned him. All the fiery passion he always felt in her presence he felt right then, almost giving him the blow that he didn't want. He thought he was hurting but was over her. And instead all of his feelings were rushing forward, taking the breath out of him. And it made him so angry that just one look from her could do this to him. To make him want to fall to his knees for forgiveness. He was not going to give in that easily.

Gio pushed away from her then and looked down, his shoulders tight. He was trying to keep any composure that he had, willing for the wall to his feelings to be fixed but instead he saw it finally tumbling to the ground to flood his head and his heart. Betty wiped a tear away from her face before she turned to her bag to dig something out. She cleared her throat and placed it on his desk.

"I don't want to lose you in my life. But I can't. I can't do this. Maybe we aren't meant to be a part of one another's lives. It's not what I want but you've made it clear that all I do is bring you pain. I got this for you while I went on my soul searching trip. You can get rid of it if you want, but I still want to give it to you anyway," she said before taking another pause to take a deep breath. "I'm going to go, if you ever change your mind....... never mind."

And with that, Betty Suarez walked through the door back to the main part of the deli, her heels clicking along. Gio stood frozen, almost could hear the sob that came before the ding of the door to the deli went off. His senses were still attuned to the spot that she had been standing, the way her voice sounded, the looks she gave him, and how wonderful yet bitter she smelled. A rose with its thorns, enticing him and pricking him in the process. He sighed and looked down at his desk to see what possessed Betty to leave anything in his possession from him. And there it was. All Gio could do was stare. Amazing how happy he looked. He closed his eyes in agony. For there it was, the one picture he had been so excited to have in his possession before everything went down the crapper. He shifted his eyes over to Betty to see her radiant smile as she looked at him, her arms wrapped around him as he looked straight on at the camera. A nice old lady had taken it at the park shortly before they headed back to Mode, after talking about what happened days before at the dance. Betty told him she wanted to give it a shot, but to go slow. But she was ready.

All the happiness was in the picture as it was the start to something wonderful, or what he thought would be something wonderful. Gio took a deep breath, remembering exactly how happy he was in that moment, the feel of her against him, and the passionate kiss they had right after that. He didn't hear his cousin Marco come close to the door to see if he was okay. He pushed the frame violently off the desk, allowing it to tumble. Time seemed to move so slow as he saw it glide down and hit the ground, the glass shattering into millions of pieces, just like his heart all over again. And Gio did something he hadn't done in a long time.

He cried.

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