Chapter 2: The rescue

Kenpachi was happy.

No correction. He was beyond happy. He was ecstatic

When he went to Hueco Mundo his only concern was finding an opponent who he could have fun beating up. If all else failed, he was going to beat up Ichigo.

Luckily, for Ichigo, Kenpachi found Nnorita.

The two had a humongous bout companied with the typical screaming and taunting. More taunting than screaming, both men were too 'manly' to scream girlishly. They both had the same 'hack and slash' technique.

Everyone else not included in the fit stared as the two got lost in their own world of blood and guts. It was a match made in heaven. No correction, a match made in Hueco Muendo.

As the fight progressed and Nnorita released his zanpakuto, Kenpachi realized that if he doesn't kill Nnorita in the next few minutes he would most likely really die. His body was scored with cuts and dripping with blood. He didn't have Nnorita's healing factor or iron skin. But he didn't care. He had his sword and fighting, what else did he need?

Nnorita charged at Kenpachi, his multiple arms swinging the crescent shaped blades.

Kenpachi placed both hands on his zanpakuto and swung.

The swing decimated Nnorita, cutting him nearly in half vertically. Nnorita stumbled and fell to the ground, dead as a doornail.

Kenpachi grinned, blood dripping from his wounds. In his own way, he respected his opponent gracing the dead Nnorita with a blood thirsty smile. "Thanks for the fight Nnorita."

The eleventh squad captain hoped Nnorita would get reborn into Soul Society so he could beat him up again.

Kenpachi ripped his destroyed haori off and proceeded to stamp Orihime's shield to pieces. He then told Ichigo plainly to get the hell out of Hueco Mundo and to take the girl with him. This was Soul Society business. Besides, he cannot have Ichigo hogging all the fights.

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Orihime, happily, went over to Kenpachi to heal his wounds.

Unfortunately, Murphy's law struck.

Ulquiorra appeared, suddenly, almost like a ghost appearing right in front of her his face blank. She screeched to a halt, eyes wide. Initially she was worried; worried that he might take her back, worried that he might kill friends. Nevertheless, she was also pleased that he survived.

"Lollipop?"

Orihime stared at the strawberry lollipop that had appeared magically into Ulquiorra's hand.

She stared blankly at him. Her eyes went from his head to his feet, pausing at his somewhat scarily bulging side pockets back to his hand. Somehow, he managed to stick his hand in his pocket casually as if his pockets were not bulging.

"Thank you?" She said puzzled.

Ulquiorra then did something that scared the crap out of Orihime. He smiled. Not one of those wide toothy smiles that Kenpachi did but his lips did twitch and turn upward. As suddenly as it came, it disappeared.

"Get away from her you freak!" Yelled Ichigo, coming to her rescue, swinging downward. Kenpachi ran towards them as well and swung his blade down in tandem with Ichigo.

Apparently, neither of them used their brain to figure out what their attacks would do to Orihime if they were to miss or if Ulquiorra were to block both their blades. Morons.

Orihime found herself in the air clutched to Ulquiorra's chest. One second she was staring at his lollipop, the next in the air and away from Ichigo and Kenpachi. The place where they were was chock full of sand.

"How illogical."

Orihime looked up to see Ulquiorra's face. "What?"

Ulquiorra looked distracted like he was listening to someone. He opened his mouth. Then something pink appeared on his head. It was robbed in black shinigami robes. IT was drooling on his head.

"Yaaa!" Screamed the pink small hyperactive bundle. "Candy!"

Ulquiorra landed on the ground, grabbed the offending pink and black bundle and chucked it. Orihime screamed in distress. "Yachiru-chan!"

Yachiru bounced back and zoomed over to Ulquiorra and Orihime. "Candy!"

Kenpachi swore. He should have known the sugar high Yachiru was on was going to die down. He patted his pockets for any sort of sugary substance to calm his vice captain. Usually he carried an emergency stash of sweets during missions. In Kenpachi's mind anything he could do for Yachiru is worth it even if the candy may rot all her teeth out.

"Ichigo, do you have any candy?"

Ichigo stared at Kenpachi as if he was crazy. "What? Why would I carry that stuff around?"

Ulquiorra stance was somewhat defensive. He seemed to be backing away from the candy-crazed shinigami.

" CANDY! CANDY!CANDY!" Screamed Yachiru loudly. "Gimme!"

Ulquiorra had a panicked look on his normally placid face.

"YARRRRGG." Yachiru launched herself at Ulquirora, intent on his candy.

Orihime watched with gaping mouth as the two fought. Pieces of brightly colored candy flew into the air. The two were fighting like cats and dogs over the pieces of candy. It was unusual to see the normally dignified Espada fight like a child over candy.

Orohime's widened as the sand settled and gaped once more at the scene before her.

Ulquiorra was tussled up like a Thanksgiving turkey. To add insult to injury, Yachiru had cleverly during the battle ripped Ulquiorra's shirt off and used it as ropes. Yachiru was helping herself to a generous amount of candy from Ulquirora's pockets. She devoured the candy at an insane, leaving a smudge of some chocolaty delight smeared over her lips.

At the sight, all stared dumbfounded. Then a small giggle escaped Orihime's lips. Ichigo snorted in disbelief and Kenpachi's attention was drawn away to look for other fighters once he was satisfied that Yachiru was happy. Orihime's giggle quickly became full-blown laughter.

This was the first time she laughed in Hueco Muendo and it was all thanks to Ulquiorra.

Or rather L but no one knew that except L and Ulquiorra.

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Ulquiorra was not pleased.

No, he was down right pissed. When Nnorita used his bed for his sexual indiscretions, Ulquiorra merely cero'ed his bed and got a new one. When he found Grimmjow sleeping on his bed in his released form, Ulquiorra broke Grimmjow's arm and tossed him off his bed. When, in revenge, Grimmjow convinced the cook to make Ulquiorra something extremely spicy that made Ulquiorra fart every few seconds Ulquiorra dispatched the cook and went away to walk his anger down. Aizen had warned him to not damage his fellow Espada too much and to deal with the conflict intelligently.

Ulquiorra decided that walking around Hueco Muendo was much better than killing Grimmjow. He did not want Aizen's wraith on him.

Even when Grimmjow trapped him in Caja Negacion he wasn't that mad. He was just going to rip Grimmjow's arm off painfully and slowly.

Ulquiorra rarely got angry. He rarely lost control of his emotions. Why? It was due to the fact that Ulquiorra was Ulquiorra. That was it. He was not emo as Grimmjow would say but stoic. He had the presence of mind to restrain his power and to obey orders. After all someone has to do all the work around Hueco Muendo.

He was the fourth Espada. He was a Voste Lord before his transformation into an Espada. So why was he unable to break the binding spell that kept him entrapped and unable to reclaim his body?

He accepted the fact that he had went from one prison to another. He accepted the fact that the former core soul had survived and was now in control. That was why he gave advice to that being, L, as he called himself. He accepted that L liked candy and had a burning need to eat candy.

He accepted that. He even had his own theories in what L really was and why this was occurring to him.

But this was it. Ulquiorra could not suffer the indignation of being tied up with his own clothes, beaten by a small pink shinigami regardless of rank. He would never give Orihime a lollipop or smile at her. It was demeaning. He would never live it down if Grimmjow heard it. Just like the shinigami grapevine, the Espada have their own means of spreading rumors.

L was a fighter and an intellectual. However, L could not fight on the level that Ulquiorra could. L didn't even know all the abilities the body he was inhabiting had. All L could do was use sonido and a human marital arts involving their legs.

When the pick shinigami appeared, Ulquiorra watched in dread as his body was manhandled by a child and tied up.

That was the straw the broke the camel's back.

The binding spell cracked, the foreign lettering splitting as Ulquiorra forcibly, mentally, dragged his reaitsu back in his control. In the mindscape, the ground beneath his feet shattered at the sheer power Ulquiorra was emitting.

The spell flickered and died.

Suddenly Ulquiorra was able move around. He took advantage of that by taking over. With one hand, he grabbed L and threw him into one of the buildings in the mindscape.

"Shinigami. You annoy me. Cease." Ulquiorra stated, his temper bubbling at the surface of his mind, threatening to spill over.

"That was rude." L stood up wincing. In the mindscape, he was dressed in traditional shinigami garbs. He seemed more durable in this form or the impact would have killed him had he been alive. L flexed his hand, caught sight of the clothes and pondered the meaning of the dark robes.

Ulquiorra scowled. "I will be back."

He took control of his body back, leaving the mindscape to L.

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Orihime was still laughing, or rather guffawing loudly, when a cold hand clamped her mouth shut.

"Silence Onna." Ulquiorra had gotten out of his bonds and had a life threatening hold on her face. His voice seemed tense, almost angry.

Orihime tried to breathe calmly and let her thundering heart slow down. That suddenness was one of the things of this whole experience she disliked, the fact that most people could sneak up on her or just run crazily fast. Had she been easy to spook, she would have died of a heart attack.

She nearly did again when she saw the state of his undress. He was completely naked from the chest up. On his chest was the number four tattooed. She knew his rank because he told her but she never knew where his mark was.

Well, now she knows, with a healthy dash of blushing too.

Ulquiorra let go of her face after he deemed her laughter free. He turned to look at the two other shinigami. The pink one was still eating candy, barely five feet way from him. There was no fear in her or her companions.

He planned to rectify that.

Walking very casually, hand in his thankfully empty pockets, he appeared in front of Yachiru, paused, and proceeded to kick her with his foot. "Trash."

She went flying. It was humorous that her candy flew behind her like a rainbow.

He felt a twinge of satisfaction when the other two shinigami glared at him with hatred. The once called Kenpachi, was eyeing him with bloodlust and battle fever. Ichigo was healed and would most likely prove to be a better opponent than before.

"You bastard!" Shouted Ichigo, the idiot was running at him once more swinging his sword like a bat and without a plan in mind. Ulquiorra was strongly reminded of a certain Espada idiot.

"He's mine Ichigo." Spat Kenpachi, a fierce growl on his face. "My vice captain, my fight."