THE HUMAN SUPER SAIYAN
Chapter 2: Pandemonium
Planet Bob was very like Planet Earth, except the sky was green so it looked all slimy. The clouds were orange and there were three suns. It was never nighttime on Planet Bob, so the inhabitants of Planet Bob were green. Aside from their third eye and green skin, they looked very much like humans.
Then Count Geoffrey arrived in his UFO. He had hijacked it from a peaceful alien who had arrived on Earth. It was his means of getting from planet to planet.
"All right. Ruber, you and I will get in the Dodge Truck and chase the first tiger near Sam City. Patrick and Reginald, you get in the Fast Only Rolling Downhill car…"
"It's Ford," said Patrick.
"…and go downhill and catch the second tiger near Chad city! After that we'll need to get six more tigers on a planet in the North Galaxy. My home planet. Planet Earth! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"If I may ask," said Ruber, "Then why didn't you get the tigers on Earth before going to the other planets?"
"Because it's faster this way!" said Count Geoffrey. His cousin and minions didn't quite agree with him. They felt it was the other way around, but they knew better than to lip off to him.
Patrick and Reginald got in the Ford car and drove it down a steep hill. Patrick was the driver. They chased the tiger around and around and around. Reginald saw a frog crossing sign.
"Patrick! Look out! There's frogs crossing the road!"
"Shut up FedEx! I'm not blind!" snapped Patrick. At that moment, they ran over a few frogs and slipped and went the opposite direction of the tiger! Then they noticed a ghost-crossing sign! Reginald stood up in the car to point to the sign, but he fell over on top of the hood of the car.
"A hood on top of a hood. What will they think of next?" sighed Patrick as they hit a ghost with their car. Fortunately for them, the ghost was completely transparent so it did nothing to the car.
"UPS! STOP THE CAR!" said Reginald.
Patrick and Reginald's nicknames were UPS and FedEx, because Count Geoffrey made a joke about them having been delivered to Planet Earth by mail, seeing as how Patrick never wore a coat during winter, and Reginald wore a winter coat during summer.
"Hang on, FedEx!" said Patrick as he sped up.
"Please! Please stop!" begged Reginald. But Patrick didn't listen. He just sped up to 150 kilometers per hour, even though the speed limit was 60 where they were. Hanging onto the hood for dear life, the teenaged hoodlum looked and saw a dragon crossing sign.
"STOP THE CAR!" said Reginald. Patrick sighed and then hit the brake. It didn't work.
"Someone horked our brakes!" said Patrick. "Or maybe the wheels are slippery cause of the frog guts."
"UPS, STOP THE CAR!"
"I can't!" said Patrick. But they were coming up on a two-headed dragon who was too busy bickering!
"Queen Griddle got evicted," said Cornwall.
"Why?" asked Devon.
"Cause of the mice," replied Cornwall.
"I thought she had rats," said Devon.
"Rats are outside, mice are inside. There's a difference."
"But what if a mouse goes outside, does it become a rat? And if a rat is inside, does it become a mouse?"
"I've seen no mouse outside."
"That's because it's a rat, you idiot!"
"Darn!" said Cornwall, who could think of no counter to that. (AN: Scary Movie 3 reference)
"I am EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!" said Devon. He looked and saw the car just in time! They dove headfirst out of the way and into the lake full of minnows! On Planet Bob, minnows are as strong as three whales. Sir Burnevere stood directly in front of the oncoming car like a deer in headlights. Being the wise dragon he is he knew who Patrick and Reginald worked for.
"STOP THE CAR!" said Reginald. "Stop the car!"
"Get out of the way before we make pancakes out of you!" said Patrick.
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request," said Burnevere as he breathed fire at the car. The flames missed Reginald by inches but fogged up Patrick's windshield and the car swerved and fell into another pond full of minnows, each as strong as three whales.
"The minnows are going to maul those bumbling babbling blithering hypocritical hoodlums," said Burnevere as he walked off.
Pretty crazy, eh? Well, it gets crazier. The real fighting begins in Chapter 3.