DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter
For some reason this didn't upload the first time. Sorry about that guys. I wanted to be awesome and give you twice the HP goodness. Two chapters in one night. Would you keep me from such a reward as twice the reviews? Course not. Cause you guys are fabulous :) Hope you guys can follow this chapter. Review!!
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The street lights seemed to glare at him as they whizzed by. Each one screamed the hurt he had caused, and the pain he had yet to inflict. He wanted to go faster, to run farther away from what he left behind on the sidewalk. But a glow of red refused to let him. Ron sighed as he pulled to a stop in front of a red light. He stared out the window, getting lost in his thoughts blurring and sinking into the black sky…
-- earlier that night –
It hurt to see Harry standing there. To know what I had done to him. To know that I had run away from him instead of being there like a best friend should.
"Hey"
I felt like scum. He shouldn't even be talking to me, even after so long. I couldn't even bring myself to look into his eyes. They were too accusing.
"Hey"
My voice cracked. Great. How was I supposed to possibly get through this evening?
"It's been a while"
Why did he sound so calm? He should be screaming at me. Saying all the things he never got to say.
"Yeah"
I was so stupid in coming here. He doesn't want anything to do with me, I know it.
Longest silence ever. But I can feel everything that isn't being said. The good, the bad, everything. The pain is too much.
"It wasn't my fault, you know."
Oh my god that's not how I wanted to say it! It sounds like I'm blaming him. Quick, take it back!
"Are you blaming me or Draco?"
Damn. That's not what I meant! Great start to the conversation Ron, you moron.
"No one. I'm just saying you shouldn't be mad at me."
What the fuck am I doing? This isn't how I want to sound!
"I'm not. But you hurt me bad, Ron. Much deeper than the scar."
Holy shit there's a scar?! Oh Harry, I'm so sorry.
"I didn't want to. You were in the way."
WHY can't my mouth match what I'm trying to say? Just apologize already!
"And what was I supposed to do? Just let you kill him?"
Well that wouldn't have been so bad…NO I can't say that!
"Could've. He had it coming anyway."
WHAT. THE. FUCK. Why did I say that?!
"Shut up, Ron. Stop it. You have no right to say that."
I know, I'm sorry!
"What, I have no right to hate the guy who stole my best friend?"
This is going to get ugly, stop it while you can!
"He didn't steal me, Ron. Love isn't stealing. I love him. He loves me. We're happy. If you don't like it, you can go piss off."
Harry…
"Fuck you, Harry. We were happy too, remember? The three of us: You, me and Hermione. Malfoy screwed with all of that. And now you're taking his side. Fine. Glad I came. Now I know who you really care about."
Malfoy ruined us…why can't you see that?
"This coming from the guy who calls himself my best friend, yet doesn't even stick around to see if I'm ok after you fucking set me on FIRE?!"
Don't say it…
"Guess I made my choice of who I care about."
Fuck.
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Green light.
Ron pulled ahead slowly. He drove around for a while, not paying real attention to where he was going. He was too preoccupied trying to blink back the tears he could feel forming. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Swerving across the lane, almost taking out a mini cooper, he screeched to a halt in a parking lot and let the tears come. He couldn't hold them back anymore. All the pain, all the words he had said built up so much guilty pressure that his body ached. He leaned over the steering wheel, gripping it hard and sobbing into it. If he could, he would take everything he had said and done back in a heartbeat. He wished he could. He prayed it would happen every night after the incident. And every night he went to bed sick with regret.
After who knows how long, Ron got control of himself. He slowed his tears with heavy, ragged breaths. Wiping his eyes with the back of his fist, he looked out the window to see where he was.
The familiar train station's sign looked down on him.
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