THE HUMAN SUPER SAIYAN
Chapter 4: Anarchy
Author's Note: Sir Blaze acts a little... strange... in this chapter. Anyone who's seen Blazing Dragons will know what I mean.
Flicker, Flame, and Blaze breathed fire directly at Count Geoffrey! He jumped out of the way and the fire hit the Dodge car and burned it to the ground.
"No! My car! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" said Count Geoffrey. Having suffered the pain of loss (not for the first time, since he has lost a bunch of his plans many times before, but for the first time with Saiyan blood in his veins), he became so angry that he powered up and got lots of big muscles! His hair turned blonde and his eyes green.
"Don't get me angry! You won't like me when I'm angry!" said Super Saiyan Count Geoffrey.
"EEEEEEK! It's the Hulk!" screeched Blaze.
"It's-a Super Saiyan Count Geoffrey," said a familiar voice. The three dragons turned and saw two plumbers.
"I am the new emperor now!" said Count Geoffrey. "And as my first act, I arrest Mario and Luigi for being plumbers!"
Mario and Luigi got angry and jumped on Count Geoffrey's head. But it didn't work on him. They pulled out hammers and swung them at him. He powered up and sent them all flying in all directions! The Mario Bros. fell into the lake full of minnows, which promptly started biting them!
"A minnow is as strong as three whales!" said Luigi. Flicker and Flame pulled out fishing rods and cast the lines into the lake. Mario and Luigi bit onto the hooks and the two dragons drew them out. In the meantime Blaze was fighting Count Geoffrey, whose power was so immense that volcanoes were erupting!
"I'm gonna be the first victim of the volcano, I KNOW it!" said Chuggles. "I even got my fortune read last night! It said 'A human man with no last name shall succumb to a volcano on an alien world!' I'm doomed!"
At that moment, Patrick and Reginald ran up to Chuggles and Squiggles and started shaking them.
"I wanna go home now!" whined Reginald, pinching his bleeding nose and tilting his head back as far as he could.
"I'm sorry I tried to kill you!" said Patrick. "We didn't know what we were doing, working for a guy like that!"
"Please get us off this planet and we'll never do anything bad again!" begged Reginald.
"I promise!" said Patrick.
"Do you two have last names?" asked Chuggles.
"Of course," said Patrick.
"What about Count Geoffrey?"
"His full name is Dread Count Geoffrey Dubueon Oppressor Par Excellence of the Poor and Weak," said Reginald.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Chuggles. "I'm going to die just like the fortune teller said! I have no last name!"
"Pikachu and Parfait have no last names either," said Squiggles. "I hope they don't… Wait a minute! Parfait is a dronkey and Pikachu is a Pokemon!"
"Pika!" said Pikachu.
In the meantime, Flicker and Flame were enjoying a meal of fried minnow, taking advantage of the fact that they were dragons. After all the minnows were eaten, they noticed that Super Saiyan Count Geoffrey was pummeling Sir Blaze! Geoffrey grabbed Blaze by the throat and began to choke him.
"Dragons who love… um… the way YOU do do not deserve to l…"
Before he can finish saying the word "Live", Flicker stabbed him in the back with his sword, which immediately broke, leaving Count Geoffrey unscathed. He grabbed a huge spike and dueled Flame 1 on 1! Flicker flew up behind the Super Saiyan and breathed fire at his hair, setting it on fire! Count Geoffrey powered up, putting the fire out! He shot an energy blast at Flicker, then Flame disarmed him and stabbed him. Her weapon broke against him as well as if he were solid steel. Then the last minnow jumped out of the pool and bit the end of her tail! Before she had time to react, Count Geoffrey threw her into the air and shot her with an energy blast.
At that moment, Count Geoffrey received a blow on the back of the head by some wrenches and bloody rocks. He turned around and saw the Mario Bros., with minnow bites all over them, throwing wrenches at them! The evil Super Saiyan shot two energy blasts at them, knocking them unconscious. Flicker breathed fire at Count Geoffrey's mustache, setting it on fire.
"We won! Flame? Where are you?"
But Count Geoffrey wasn't going to let his funny chin whiskers die without a fight! He started to power up when his arm started to cramp, preventing him from doing so.
"Oh no! What do I do?" he wondered aloud, a little panicked. "I'm no good without my funny chin whiskers!" Then he noticed the pool and, remembering how there were no more minnows left in it, dunked his head in. But the minnow that had bit Flame was female, and had earlier laid 28 million eggs, which conveniently chose that moment to hatch! The first thing they saw when they hatched was Count Geoffrey's mug, which they promptly jumped up and bit him!
"This could be our chance!" said Squiggles. "We're the only ones with the power to stop him! Let's get him!"
"WAIT!" said Chuggles. "Can I hide in the UFO? There's a river of molten magma from the erupting volcano some ten feet to the left of that pool! If he sees me he'll throw me in, fulfilling the prophecy that a man with no last name will di…"
"For the love of Squigglypuff, half tabby cat half Jigglypuff, you HAVE a last name, Chuggles!" said Squiggles.
"DO I?!" said Chuggles, beginning to panic. "I'm just the nameless human to speak for Pikachu and Parfait because they can't talk! MOMMY! MOMMY! I DON'T WANT TO DIE BY MAGMA!"
Count Geoffrey drew his head out of the pool, covered with huge bites. Devon and Cornwall chased Sir Ruber over to Count Geoffrey. The Super Saiyan Count blasted the two-headed dragon. Ruber was severely burned.
"You gotta help me cos! This two-headed dragon is going to kill me!"
"1, I did. He's injured, but I aim to kill him. 2: How could THAT puny dragon damage you so much? I thought you slayed a big ferocious dragon with a single punch! You're so useless, cos! Time to dispose of you!"
"NOT THE MINNOW POOL!" begged Ruber. "NOT THE MINNOW POOL!"
"I think I disposed of all those minnows," said Geoffrey. "But I have something better."
The Super Saiyan grabbed the fat knight by his feet and carried him over to the river of magma.
"PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE!" said Ruber in a desperate cry for mercy. At that moment a thought struck Chuggles.
"Does Ruber have a last name?" he asked.
"No, why?" asked Squiggles.
"His cousin is dangling him above a river of lava!"
Count Geoffrey held Ruber above his head and spiked him down into the molten abyss! The instant it touched the lava Ruber's body vanished as if it were a ghost and was replaced by flames, which shortly disappeared.
"Who animated this scene?" asked Cornwall.
"I could sue," added Devon. "I could've animated the scene better than that."
"SIR BLAZE could've animated this scene better than that!" said Cornwall.
"Time to face you, Super Saiyan!" said Squiggles. Parfait breathed fire at Count Geoffrey, who blocked with his energy aura before picking up the baby dronkey.
"PIKA!!!" said Pikachu as it ran at Count Geoffrey. It swung its tail into Count Geoffrey's leg! Parfait sneezed, shooting fireballs directly into Count Geoffrey's face! He dropped her howling in agony before he picked up both Pikachu and Parfait and held them above a cliff leading to what looked like an endless dark abyss.
"I've dealt with dragons before. I will attach this weight to you to keep you from flying!" said Count Geoffrey, and did. He then held Pikachu and Parfait directly above the abyss but before he could drop them, Squiggles jumped up and scratched him! He dropped them right on the edge of the cliff before losing his footing and falling off the edge!
"NO!" said Blaze, as he flew down after the Super Saiyan Count and grabbed his hand with both hands and began to fly him back up.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" asked Count Geoffrey, shocked beyond belief. "I'm your enemy!"
"But you're so cute and cuddly!" said Blaze. "If I save your life right here, do you promise to marry me?"
"EW NO!" said Count Geoffrey, his face turning an even deeper shade of green. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Count Geoffrey licked the dragon's hands! Blaze let go looking revolted. Count Geoffrey, though able to use energy blasts, had not learned to fly (ironic, as his main enemies were dragons). Only his scream of defeat could be heard as he plunged down into the abyss.
"I killed him! He's dead!" said Blaze. "YIPPEE! He was never my type anyway. I'm thinking maybe I'll see if I can find Albus Dumbledore. After all, fire IS his weapon of choice."
"Um… good luck Blaze!" said Flame.
"Yeah, I hope he doesn't throw himself over a cliff!" said Flicker.
"He's already fallen off a tower," Flame whispered to Flicker. "Snape killed him."
"I envy you," said Devon to Blaze.
"He means that he envies that you struck the finishing blow," said Cornwall quickly. He had no intention of his other head falling in love with a male dragon.
"Would you look at that?" said Homer. "He never got a chance to fight me, and I was his primary target."
"We won!" said Squiggles. And he, Homer, Pikachu, Chuggles, and Parfait nuzzled each others' heads.
"Pika pika pikachu!" said Pikachu.
Parfait breathed fire in the air. Chuggles quickly roasted some marshmallows and cat, mouse, dronkey, half-nameless character, dragons, tigers, and plumbers chowed down on a victory meal of marshmallows.
"These are good marshmallows," said Squiggles.
"HOLY SHADOW REALM! You can talk!" said Chuggles.
"Hello, I am a reporter played by John Koensgen. In other words, I'm the TV anchorman from the Dead Zone. The main character of the movie I'm from is played by Christopher Walken, who also plays Fang in Balls of Fury."
The reporter was kicked out by Bob Dodge.
"His name was Feng, not Fang," said Dodge. "Anyway, yesterday a lot of things happened. First off, a bunch of guys went to Planet Bob and defeated Count Geoffrey and his cousin, Sir Ruber, and set free all his planets and prisoners. His two cronies, Patrick Hocksetter and Reginald Huggins turned around in a 180 degree angle and kept half the tigers freed from the count's control as pets. They're really good at it too.
"The vicious crime lord Bojack was arrested this morning for saying bomb in an airport. He will spend 231 years in prison. Squire Flicker and Princess Flame got married while Blaze left in search of Albus Dumbledore. Queen Griddle's very angry about both events but she can't do much about them cause she got evicted cause of mice or rats or whichever one is inside, not outside. Sir Burnevere defeated Gollum in a riddle contest, Devon and Cornwall won the Best Comic Relief Duo Award, and victory was achieved with the help of two plumbers named Mario and Luigi. I'd call them the Super Mario Bros.!
"Squiggles the cat fell asleep inside Chicken's truck and slept there for 24 days straight, 24-7. He woke up and chased a mouse around. Or was it a rat? I don't know. On another note, Chuggles Dinkelpuss entered his Pikachu and dronkey in a race and they won second place. First place was a cheetah named Chet Rippo. But he was a cheater, though no one has seemed to realize this yet. I can tell because whenever he cheats at anything he rubs his scar."
THE END
How'd you like the crossover chaos? The last name thing is a reference to Galaxy Quest, and the badly animated magma is a reference to the movie Magma. Oh, and the last word being "scar" is a reference to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, cause I was disappointed that the last word wasn't "scar" like she said it would be. It scarred me, seriously.