Chapter 6: Weird people seek other weird people

After the bath and change of clothes, Ulquiorra guided Orihime to the kitchen. He had no choice in the matter. Her eyes got all teary and shinny and her lip trembled. Normally, he would ignore this display but he had just seen her naked and those image were playing over and over courtesy of L.

Ulquiorra wanted so much to exterminate L but his master wanted to have tea with L and L can't have tea if L was dead.

Ulquiorra fought down his blush and accompanied the beaming Orihime to the kitchens. When they arrived, a strange phenomenon happened. Orihime went from bubbly to extremely happy. She was oozing pheromones associated with pleasure and the pheromones tickled Ulquiorra's nose.

With speed unassociated with humans, she zipped over to the cabinets and started taking objects out. She took things out and stacked them together. As she did this, Ulquiorra closed his eyes, deciding that he didn't need to see this and neither does Aizen. Selectively he edited the images, taking out Orihime's naked body and stuffing that in his mental 'storage' box.

He was not going to let other people see that image. He was not going to stare at it later. He convinced himself that it was for her good morale. Ulquiorra ignored L's snickering.

As Ulquiorra was editing, he didn't notice that Orihime had pushed him out of the kitched and slammed the door shut. When he opened his eyes, a slight panic filled him when he realized he was in the hallways.

He placed a hand on the door, ready to knock when it opened. A beaming Orihime was holding something that looked lumpy and faint wisps of smoke appeared.

"Cookies." She said, smiling. "Yummy original cookies made from scratch."

Ulquiorra stared at the cookies. Something was telling him not to eat them. If he refused no doubt she would cry. He decided on the best option. He let L take over.

Orihime blinked in surprise as Ulquiorra visibly twitched. "Ulquiorra?" Was he sick? Did arrancar get sick?

Ulquiorra brushed by her and went into the kitchen, ignored the big mess Orihime made and went straight for the cabinets. After a few seconds of rifling, he took out a bag of chips. In solemness he walked back towards her and held the bag out.

"Trade." He said simply.

Orihime blinked once more. "Uh.." She looked at the bag before smiling broadly. "Okay."

They traded. Ulquiorra picked up a cookie, sniffed it and frowned. Orihime watched fascinated as this sort of strangeness descended. A quiet dignity that Ulquiorra always had seemly evaporated to be replaced with some ganglyness.

Ulquiorra sniffed the cookie again before speaking. "I smell wasabi."

Orihime didn't think at the time how Ulquiorra knew what wasabi smells like she just answered. "Yep, I found a jar in the fridge. I was going to put Tabasco sauce instead of this works even better."

Instantly Orihime found herself nearly eye to eye with big green slit eyes. She nearly backed up in surprise.

Ulquiorra ripped a piece of the cookie apart and held it out to her. She ate it off his fingers and chewed. He watched her reaction. She grinned.

"Perfect."

Ulquiorra ate the reaming piece. Eyebrows were raised and he continued eating the other cookies.

"It's good." He sat, untying his shoes. His bare feet were exposed, the black nail polish adorned on each toe.

Orihime was beyond joy. "Really?" Most of the people she cooked for didn't like her cooking.

Ulquiorra nodded. "Spicy but sweet."

Orihime nodded and squashed the impulse to hug her jailor. It was then that she noticed the other zanpakuto. "What's that?"

Ulquiorra glanced at the zanapakuto before speaking. "Trade secret."

Orihime was puzzled. When did Ulquiorra know human idioms? Didn't he say humans were beneath him?

She remained this way as Ulquiorra sent her back to her room. Something very strange was happening.

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