Are you serious?
Chapter 11
By Gabriel R. Lopez
Genma Saotome awoke…something was definitely not right. This was definitely not the Tendo dojo. The 47 year old man in the body of a ten or twelve year old girl was confused… really confused. Why was she wearing a slip. Where the heck was she? Why was the room so pink? These questions and more plagued Genma Saotome. When the large 20 foot doors of the bedchamber opened and several servants flocked into the room Genma was really confused
"Excuse me, can anyone tell me what's going on?" other than the strange dream she had the night before Genma had no explanations for what had just occurred. She remembered going to the mall with Nabiki and Kasumi to buy some clothes to replace the ones Akane destroyed …and then what. Gen couldn't remember the last time she had a dream so vivid. Of course the last time she had such a dream she was an eight year old boy. A giant Emo head…a falling hamster, which looked an awful lot like the one she had seen the news earlier. That must have been it, she felt guilty about laughing at that poor little girl's misery and created a whole dream centered around rescuing the pitiful creature from a retarded robot and an evil floating head. Lost in thought, Gen missed the whole exchange of clothing. It was very easily missed since one the servants simply tapped Genma on the forehead and the slip was magically replaced "hey that hurt!" Genma was now wearing an orange top, with a purple jacket, and green short shorts. With a snap of her fingers another servant had made a pair of purple sneakers and pink socks appear on Gen's feet. The other servants simply replaced the bedclothes the old fashioned way. They were all smiling and seemed cheerful, but through their eyes Genma could see they were all dead on the inside. They responded to her as if they had been given a lobotomy, which is to say they didn't respond to her at all.
"Could someone please tell me what's going on?" Gen tried to ask once more as the servants left. Genma reached up to her hair, other than the purple ribbon it appeared to be in the same shape Nabiki had left it in…wait a second. What was she wearing? Her attempts at taking anything off other than the shoes and jacket failed. The shorts would only come off as far as her knees and she could lift the shirt up only as far as her bra. Dammit ! Genma cursed as she pulled down the shirt and hefted up the shorts. It was as if the outfit was magically bonded to her somehow. Oh god what if she had to go to the bathroom or something. No sooner was the thought echoed in her mind than the shorts and underwear pulled themselves down to her knees. Gen one again hefted up her shorts. As she zipped and button the short shorts she wondered what kind of evil maniacal fiend would do this to her. She knew it wasn't master Happosi, the underwear was too conservative and he wasn't interested in little girls. "ug!" was Gen's disgusted reply as she decided it would be best to wait for her tormentors to reveal themselves .
Some Milenia earlier, wiping the sleep from her eyes with the sleeve of the oversized pajama top, Usagi awoke from a really freaky dream… more of a nightmare really, she was kidnapped by a strange Chinese man…and then she escaped before the guide could have is way with her, and then she fell into a spring and turned into a capybara….and then she drowned because she didn't know how to swim. I suppose awoke was too strong a term to describe the half dead state she was in. the bathroom was just across the hall from Usagi's bedroom so imagine Usagi's surprise when she bumped into the wall. Usagi shook her head to clear some cobwebs and realized the door had moved. That silly door…she walked into the room across the hall, which was not the bathroom at all. Oddly enough this still wasn't sending up any red flags for the blue eyed girl… now where was that bathroom hiding. Leaving the newly discovered bedroom usagi wandered into the hall and leaned against the opposing wall. She was soooo tired, it was as if she fought the negaverse to a draw. Oh how she needed an ice cold shower, yeah that would wake her. Closing her eyes, Usagi fell asleep again leaning against the wall until her body collapsed to the ground with a thud. Well that woke her up…how on earth did she wind up at the cherry temple? She must have been sleepwalking again…oh well, it wasn't that big a deal. Crap, that meant the doctors would probably just up the dose on her sleeping medication again.
Usagi decided that she reeealy needed to use the shower. Quickly fishing a towel and a Miko uniform out of the hall closet Usagi went into the bathroom of the cherry temple, it was a small western style bathroom with a shower-tub combination you find in most hotel rooms. Stepping into the shower without a second thought Usagi twisted the knob…the shower roared to life with a koosh sound and Luna was now standing in the shower with a confused look on her face. Confused was an understatement… a sopping wet Luna contemplated what she was doing in a shower while simultaneously trying to figure out what happened yesterday. After the discussion about Ryu She vaguely remembered the scouts telling her that Usagi had returned from God knows where. Apparently she had just missed her when the Tuskino home was destroyed….then they kept needling her for information about where she went after the fire. she wasn't even sure she was there, but the girls were so insistent. She also didn't really understand the questions about what it was like to be human…she supposed it wasn't much different from being a cat and related this information to the scouts. Then she went into the kitchen and …. Raye was boiling some water to make macaroni and cheese, the water boiled over the pot. Everything after that was a blank. and what of her plans to overthrow the Negaverse? Luna was going cross eyed trying to figure out what was going on. "Artemis!" Luna simply stated aloud , he had to know what was going on. Luna rushed out of the bathroom as quickly as possible as a hamster with a yellow bandanna wandered in. steam was starting to emanate from the shower as the water heater kicked on.
Sweet, Ryoga couldn't remember the last time he had been quite this lucky. He changed his mind when a naked Raye wandered into the bathroom and saw a strange man in the shower. With a cry of pervert she proceeded to beat the living crap out of him before he could explain. When Ryoga finally returned to being a hamster after running though the house naked and out the front door into the pouring rain…Raye was bombarded with a flash of memories. Quickly grabbing a broom she chased after the hamster, who was surprisingly spry and agile. Dodging the broom was difficult but Ryoga managed to avoid it three out of four times. The crazed girl chased him though the pouring rain down a flight of steps and off the property. This didn't matter to ryoga who just kept running in a straight line to get as far away from this threshold of hell. "That's right negacreep you better run!" Raye called out to the hamster, naked as the day she was born. Oh well, it wasn't as if anyone would see her through the pouring rain. Then there was a squeal of brakes as a replica of the Mach 5 skidded to a halt drove up the hill and through the wall of the cherry temple then flipped over.
Haruka was driving past the cherry temple in the pouring rain at precisely 5:15am, after slamming on the brakes to avoid a gerbil or something, the expert on hairpin turns, drift, and racing, forgot all her defensive driving training when she saw a very sexy girl standing outside a Miko shrine in her birthday suit holding a broom in a provocative manner…well the broom wasn't really being held provocatively, but Haruka's perverse trail of thought was thinking of several hundred things she could do with that broom and that naked girl. Which is why she was shocked when the Mach 5 crashed through the front wall of the cherry temple… the car flipped and skidded to a halt through the living room of the cherry temple. Boy it was a good thing the Mach 5 had seatbelts…otherwise that could have really hurt .