Are You Serious?
Chapter 12
By Gabriel R. Lopez
One might consider the sight of a topless hamster in an itsy-bitsy, tiny-weenie, yellow, polka-dot, bikini odd. Not Ryoga, having lived among the ham ham population this sort of thing was the everyday norm. Although , one would have to admit that his personal bias was based partially on the fact that he was wearing said Polka-dot bikini briefs. Yes, after his recent incident at the miko shrine, Ryoga vowed never to be nude again … of course, he immediately abandoned the idea the moment he de transformed and found himself with a painful wedgie. Granted the odds of a computer programmer knocking over a Styrofoam cup half full of coffee from a 4th floor balcony at 8 o'clock in the morning because of negligence was odd…and, that the coffee (cup) lid would just seem to "pop off" over the precise location were poor Hamtaro-Ryoga was wandering in the bushes , was just bad physics.
It was unfortunate that the magic of the bandanna could only stretch so far, because the sight of human form Ryoga in a thong, is just disturbing. An hour later…a very sunburned Ryoga wandered into the through the doors of a Cos-play warehouse. This was purely coincidental as it was the first clothing goods store he had come across since returning to normal. The young, female, and clearly negaverse, clerks were eager to help the pyre of life-force that had wandered in off the street. Of course the trick was they had to keep him in the store as long as possible. Which wasn't hard because some of the costumes in the store were more than lifelike, they were alive. So all they really had to do was get him cornered by one of the furry catgirl costumes, but since Ryoga was only interested in the people costumes they had to find a way to trick him into that part of the store…
Ryoga didn't find it odd that the Kagome Higurashi was the store clerk helping him find the perfect tuxedo mask combination. Nor did he find it odd that Lum Yatsura was the other attending clerk. as Ryoga wasn't really familiar with Artist Rumiko Takahashi. No, Ryoga was more fascinated with American, and French Comics such as Naruto, One piece, and Fruits Basket. Of course had Ryoga not found the comics in those respected countries in their native languages, he would have simply assumed the Comics were Japanese Manga.
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Luna was in the process of tracking down Artemis when she spotted some weirdo roaming the streets in nothing but a yellow polka dot… egad! was that a bandanna being used as a thong? Preposterous. The very idea was anything if not silly. Luna shook her head to clear some more of the cobwebs that seemed cloud her addled memory from time to time. Honestly, mistaking the Hino shrine for the Tsukino ho…me.
"Oh G-god no!" a terrified Luna stuttered aloud. It finally happened. Luna and Usagi had somehow become telepathically linked, it was the only explanation for something such as this. Luna knew it was theoretically possible for a magical guardian to develop an empathic bond. Heck, Artemis was so polarized to Mina he was practically her woobie.
After briefly scanning through Usagi's memories it was a wonder the girl got anything accomplished at all, the amount of information Usagi processed was almost unimaginable. Normal people, or at least Luna herself, would disregard most of the useless extra information Usagi had stored in her brain. For instance, Usagi knew that by spending ten minutes in an athletic club, one could hear the sound of the exercise bike, the treadmill, a stroller, baby crying, ping pong balls pinging, basket balls bouncing, the air conditioner, the fans, fluorescent lighting, the radio, clock, flip flops, giggling, gossiping whispers, flatulence, and two televisions… Luna's left eye started twitching. The school library has 4,756 books, Usagi knew the precise layout of her school's library in every detail barring the content of the books within it…she remembered the sound of the scanner the hum of the computers the florescent lighting, keyboard typing, the location of all three clocks, the rules to seventeen trading card games, including Magic the Gathering, Harry Potter, Yugioh, Star wars, Pokemon, and that Amy sneezes with her mouth open. Usagi knew that …bla bla bla bla.
Usagi clutched her head, or rather Luna clutched her head from information overload. Usag- Luna briefly wondered if this had anything to do with the missing time she had been experiencing, and then thought of all the trouble she…that is Usagi could have cotton- er gotten into as a cat. Apparently Usagi had spent a lot of time fantasizing about what she would do if she became an animal and yet another dump of useless information was downloaded into Luna's brain… including Usagi's memories of drowning as a capybara
"J-Jusenkeyo! Usagi she- I " a look of fear, shock, and terror washed across he face. This explained everything. The missing time, Usagi's memories, the girls asking her what it was like to be human, the desire to find hot water…it all fit. "Gasp! Oh No, I fell into spring of drowned obsessive compulsive magical girl with attention deficit disorder!! "