Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor moon, Ranma, or Hamtaro.
Are you Serious?
Chapter 15
By Gabriel R. Lopez
Andrew was on his way out of the bank. He had recently made a deposit, having sold his Audi 80 to Kasumi Tendo for a hefty sum of cash. The Audi wasn't Andrew's only car. Even with the Crown Arcade doing as poorly as it was, Andrew had recently come into the possession of the Mach 5 Replica used in the speed racer movie a few days earlier. After winning the Mach 5 in a bunny hugging contest, Andrew had used his connections at the racetrack to have it delivered to the arcade. With any luck, the Mach 5, and the haunting of Samara Morgan would bring customers back into the Arcade. And, if that didn't work out he could always sell it to that Ukyo Kenobi girl who wanted to start her own waffle house. Andrew was on top of the world, Granted if the Mach 5 had been destroyed in an unforeseeable accident at five o' clock in the morning, Andrew would be in a somewhat less forgiving mood. But, since he hadn't heard any bad news all day, Andrew was quite surprised when he had the wind knocked out of him by a smurf. Because ironically enough, it was just as Andrew exited the building he was plowed into by a fanged teenage youth dressed as a smurf. Obviously the strange young man wasn't painted blue or anything, but the white tights and goofy hat gave the whole thing away. Andrew and the smurf now found themselves on the ground three feet from the bank entrance.
The smurf had apparently been thrown from across the street by an enraged schoolgirl who worked at the cosplay outlet. Wiping the blood from his nose, the fanged youth then pulled himself to his feet, plucked off the smurf hat and pulled out a polka dot bandanna that was peeking out of his tights…no correction several bandanna's, which he tossed like shuriken or throwing stars. The schoolgirl dodged left and a performed several inhuman back flips while simultaneously twisting her body in ways that would make spaghetti jealous. The schoolgirl then magically produced a bow and arrow and started launching a seemingly never ending supply of equally mysterious arrows… the arrows tended to explode on impact. Unfortunately, Andrew wasn't faster than a speeding projectile and faced the brunt of the explosion closest to him. One thing was certain Andrew had to get out of there quick. Sadly, in his attempt to escape he tripped over a black cat that apparently had the same idea. Scooping up the cat with his unbroken arm Andrew carried the feline like a football though the urban battle field. Once he made it to the alleyway Andrew dropped the cat and started to catch his breath.
"you dirty little flea bag! You used me." Came a whiny female voice that reminded Andrew of Usagi. Looking for the source turned up no results. Well, unless cats can talk and everyone knows that's crazy.
"Usagi, we need to focus, I know you're upset, but the situation as it is, we have no time to argue." Of course if the cat was talking, that would mean Andrew would have to face the fact that he was crazy. Looking down at… Luna, it appeared his feline companion was having a crisis of her own
"oh yeah, well I don't have to listen to you anymore." Usagi spat. If she could face Luna directly she would have stuck out her tongue to emphasize her point..
"Not if we share the same mind you Looney Bird!" Luna responded.
"oh yeah well ACHOO!" Usagi-Luna sneezed and transformed.
"SAMARA MORGAN AHHHHHH!" Andrew screamed like a girl and ran out into the street like a chicken with his head cut off.
Andrew's cellular phone began to ring . "hello?" Andrew replied as several particularly loud explosions could be heard, and what was left of Andrew's rental car slid past him along the sidewalk. Whatever the car was before, it was scrap metal no. "The mach 5?... A gerbil or something… with a yellow bandanna? What do you mean you don't know?"
The explosions had stopped and for the briefest of moments one could hear Haruka Ten'oh through the cell phone "could have been a smurf for all I know. "
And then for no apparent reason Andrew broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter, he then ran out into the streets like a mad man and threw the Cell Phone at Ryoga.
"OW!" Ryoga took his attention away from Kagome who was being disintegrated by a giant slow moving pink candy heart. A final blow that was delivered by the beutiful Sailor Moon, who seemed to suddenly appear from no where.
"Samara sent you didn't she!" Andrew rushed across into the street and snapped the antenna off what was left of his rental. Andrew then charged at Ryoga, telegraphing his every move. Unfortunately for Andrew, as a trained martial artist, Ryoga could read him like a book. Ryoga simply dodged and judo chopped Andrew into unconsciousness. Then Ryoga dragged Andrew into the ally and stole his clothes and all the cash in Andrew's wallet. Andrew woke up ten minutes later dressed in smurf white spandex. Horrified and still clutching his head, Andrew wandered into the street in a half drunken stupor… which was quite difficult since he wasn't drunk yet.
"There he is!" cried a witness being interviewed by the channel six news reporter. "that's the man who saved my baby." Andrew was then swarmed by reporters who wanted to meet the lunar knight.