Are you serious?
Chapter 18
By Gabriel R. Lopez
It was the best of cries and the worst of crimes. With her knowledge of Anything Goes kung fu shiatsu massage, Kasumi Tendo had temporarily paralyzed one of her sister Akane's "hit and run victims" and carted her off to the Tendo Dojo. The Tendo sisters, and their reluctant passenger, entered through the kitchen. Ryu was of course modestly covered by an apron, because dragging a naked body through the door would have just been weird. Upon entering Akane simply dropped her end of the terrified pink haired girl onto to floor. Ryu winced in pain as her head smacked into the tile causing Ryu to let off a terrible yelp and bite her tongue at the same time. Being physically restricted with a severely limited vocapulary Ryu finally snapped, unable to express her feelings of anger, fear, and helplessness …Ryu started crying.
"Akane! How could you." Kasumi quickly dropped Ryu's feet and went to check the knot that was forming in back of their pink haired guest's head. Kasumi's former experience as an ER Nurse informed her that the knot wasn't anything serious.
"she hit me!" Akane whined.
"you ran over her with the car!" was Kasumi's response.
"I almost ran over her with the car…almost." Akane replied.
Kasumi rolled her eyes and picked up Ryu like a bride on her wedding day…it was awkward for both the eldest Tendo and the little girl, for two very different reasons. Ryu was still unable to move her limbs, and Kasumi was wandering how the little girl had gotten so fat. The pink haired girl had to weigh at least 90 pounds… of course what Kasumi didn't know was that Ryu essentially had the same muscle mass as her original form... that original form being that of a malnourished 16 year old boy. Carrying the young girl to her bedroom and laying her on the bed Kasumi left the room for exactly sixty two seconds… Ryu wondered momentarily why she had the sudden urge to count he number of seconds she was alone, but then dismissed it. Kasumi had used the time to go back to the kitchen open the refrigerator get Akane a raw steak for her eye, soak a warm washcloth in the kitchen sink, and returned to her bedroom with a wet rag. After Kasumi had given Ryu a spit bath, Kasumi then set to work dressing the young pink haired Hawaiian girl. Well, maybe not entirely Hawaiian, there was no telling who, or dare say "what" had fallen into the spring at Jusenkeyo. Kasumi remained oblivious to the young girl's country of origin as she finished dressing Ru in one of Akane's elementary school uniforms that she fished out of her closet in a box keepsakes… This reminded Kasumi she should get the rest of their visitors clothes out of the car if they weren't going to be returning them to the store. Of course Kasumi was glad she was able to find a spare set of underwear so that Ryu wasn't indecent for the time being.
To describe them as underwear was a bit generous, Akane had a bit of a bed wetting problem when she was in elementary school … apparently she stayed up late one night at a sleepover and watched Saw, One Missed call, The Eye, The Ring, and Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ with her girlfriends… it was Yuka that did it. Akane had spent so much time covering her eyes and hiding herself under the covers Yuka thought it would be fun t keep Akane jumpy like that. Yuka started by using her mom's cell phone to tell Akane she had seven days… Yuka then woke Akane up the following morning by pouring a glass of water into her lap… she then tricked Akane into thinking she had killed the class hamster…and for a whole year Yuka kept Akane as terrified an meek as a little mouse, until it backfired… no one knows what happened to Yuka, all they know is the day after she went missing Akane had a homicidal grin on her face…then she would start laughing maniacally for no reason… The truth was Akane had nothing to do with Yuka's disappearance. The truth was Yuka and her family had moved shortly after they found their cat mewling at the door wrapped, almost mummified, with duct tape.
Currently Akane was in the kitchen, under the mistaken impression that Kasumi wanted her to cook dinner. Having reached this assumption when Kasumi handed her a steak…apparently Akane wasn't familiar with the American use of steaks as the homeopathic remedy for black eyes. Nabiki strolled into the kitchen to retrieve a popsicle from the freezer. Akane was fast at work preparing a delicious meal of fried rice with curry and didn't notice the horrified expression on her sister's face as she went white as a ghost and quickly rushed up stairs to order take out. It started raining twenty minutes later… quickly, downstairs a shriek was heard "RAT!!!" Akane cried
Nabiki rushed down the stairs to see what Akane was yelling about and Kasumi stopped brushing Ryu's hair. Ryu was seated on the bed, with a brush stuck in her thick matt of pink hair. Aforementioned Hair was now made up in trademark rabbit like pigtails. Ryu of course was mostly paralyzed and could only blink as she was left staring at her reflection in the mirror…before falling over face first into the floor. Ryu's eyes were then filled with terror as a strange and mysterious hamster squeezed itself under the frame of Kasumi's door running as fast as its legs could carry him towards Ryu.
Ryu was naturally completely and totally terrified of the evil little rodent. She could scream, there was nothing about her lack of mobility that prevented her from doing so. And, thanks to the adrenaline pumping through her system she could move her left index finger now. She probably would have screamed but the demon was so terrifyingly small it might just crawl into her mouth and… Ryu's eyes opened wide with fright as the little hamster quickly crawled over her shoulder and squirreled it's way into her blouse. Ryu hated squirrels. Ryu could feel the pitter patter of little feet wandering aimlessly, crawling up her back, circling around before crawling around to the front of her blouse. The very thought of what evil the diabolical critter was plotting terrified Ryu as she made quick use of Akane's special underwear. The hamster then crawled out the front of Ryu's blouse wondering how he got trapped in there in the first place.
"hiff… hiff hiff ….hiff hiff hiff" wait a second, Ryoga thought. "wait a second…I remember you. "
"squee?" the pink haired girl replied then wiggled her index finger then twitched her nose.
Ryoga cocked his head to one side. And looked at Ryu
Other than being completely and totally paralyzed the girl now seemed quite calm, and happy, happy as a tree squirrel.