Chapter Nine: Hope

Much to Addison's disappointment, she didn't see Alex at all the next day. Instead, she spent the day checking on patients and performing a couple of emergency C-Sections.

That night, she arrived at Joe's to find Callie sitting at a table in the corner, watching George throw darts.

"Hey," Callie greeted her, gesturing to the empty chair next to her. "I heard about your niece. How are you doing?"

Addison sat down and sighed. "It's just so hard. I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be supportive and optimistic because I'm her doctor, not to mention her aunt, and I have no problem convincing myself that she can get through this because she's young and strong and, until now, healthy, because I look at her and my heart just melts. But as soon as I'm by myself and it actually sinks in how bad the situation is, I start to have doubts and lose hope. And I think 'what if she doesn't make it through this?' And then I feel incredibly guilty for thinking that, but I can't help it because I'm so worried. She's counting on me to help her get through this and I don't know if I can which scares the hell out of me. Medicine is failing me and I don't know how to help her." She wiped away the tears that had begun to stream down her face and looked up at her friend. "What do I do, Callie? I can't just keep telling her that she's going to be fine when I can't even convince myself that."

Callie put a hand on her friend's shoulder and squeezed it. "I don't know. I wish I knew what to say. I don't know that there is a lot that anyone can say. We're trained to put our full trust in science, but sometimes, I guess, we have to put our faith in other things, things like religion and God. We have to accept that there is nothing we can do and leave it up to fate. If God wants this to happen to her, then no amount of medicine is going to stop it from happening."

Addison smiled weakly. "That's what Natalie said to me the other day."

"In that case, listen to your patient!" Callie told her.

Addison laughed slightly. "Thanks, Callie. I think I'm just going to go back to my hotel." Callie said goodbye and Addison left.

On Monday afternoon, Natalie was back for another round of tests.

"Hi, Nat. How are you feeling?" Addison asked her, giving her a hug.

"The same," She replied, shrugging. "Which I guess could either be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. How is everything with you? Deliver any cute babies lately?"

"Two on Saturday, one of them was only 32 weeks so he's going to be in the NICU for awhile."

"Aw. I love babies," Natalie said, grinning.

Addison laughed. "One of the interns will be up in a little bit to do a CT. And tomorrow, the oncologist is going to talk to you and your parents about starting chemo."

"Do I have to stay over tonight?"

"Nope." Addison said, shaking her head. "Any requests for an intern?"

"Surprise me."

"Okay. I have to go to a meeting but I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Nattie," Addison said and left the room.

A little while later, Meredith knocked on Natalie's door.

"Meredith, Hi!" Natalie said, giving her a big smile.

"Hey, Natalie."

"How are things going with Uncle Derek? I haven't seen him in awhile."

"Pretty good I guess. He was going fishing yesterday morning, so he had been looking forward to that."

"Oh yes. Uncle Derek loves to fish. I remember this one time, he was visiting from New York and he took my brothers with him. They caught this fish that was like 18 inches long. It was crazy!"

Meredith wrinkled her nose. "I don't know what I'll do if he is ever crazy enough to want to take me. I am definitely not an outdoor person."

"Don't worry. He won't. Fishing is his guy thing. He used to go with his dad and grandpa before they died. Then he and my dad used to go before my brother Sean was born. I think he and Addison's brother even went one time. He says it's a guy bonding thing."

"Oh yeah. He and some of the men from here went a few months ago."

"Mark didn't go, did he?"

"No."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Mark never goes. I have no idea why."

Meredith shrugged. "Well, anyway, I have to take you down for a CT."

"Alright." She sighed, climbing into the waiting wheelchair.

The next morning, Addison walked into the conference room to find Natalie, her parents, the Chief, Bailey and a man Addison recognized as one of the oncology attendings. The chief introduced the oncologist as Dr. Holland.

Holland began to explain outline a treatment plan, which would begin with chemotherapy a week from Thursday. Addison watched her niece while Holland explained all the possible side effects of chemo, including nausea, a greater chance of contracting infections and hair loss. Addison noticed Natalie absentmindedly twisting a lock of hair around her finger and quickly forced the image of Natalie without her beautiful hair out of her mind.

Holland finished his presentation and everyone shook hands and parted ways.

A little while later, Addison was at a Nurses' Station when Alex Karev walked up to her.

"Dr. Montgomery," He said acknowledging her.

"Well, Dr. Karev, I haven't seen you in a few days," She said lowering her voice and smirking at him. "Did I scare you away?"

He shook his head. "I've just been busy with patients and surgeries. But I have tomorrow night off." –He paused- "Um, do you want to go to dinner?"

"Sure," Addison agreed and gave him a smile.

"Okay. I have to go check on a patient, but I'll pick you up at 7:30."

"Okay," She said and he walked away.

Author's Note:

The title of this chapter comes from Idina Menzel's song "Hope." It's an absolutely beautiful song that you should all go buy on itunes right now because the proceeds from it go to Stand Up To Cancer.

I'm not sure that this chapter is very good because a certain reader (another friend of Natalie's) recently discovered this story and has been bugging me to finish it as soon as possible, so I wrote this chapter really fast. In any case, I need a litle reassurance that this chapter is up to par, so please review! The next chapter should be up within a few days.