Whoo!! Finally the stupidness from this weekend is over, and now I can get the next chapter up!!! This is THE chapter, the one I was terrified to write, but I think I managed. It's heavy, so be warned.
As usual, thanks to sleepthroughthestatic, monkey-luver14, and meggymoomops for their reviews. And super-special thanks to Scampifish, not only for her lovely reviews that are totally awesome, but for being my sounding board on all things non-fic related. I'm totally sending you a dream-fighting version of Ninja Cat.
Chapter Eleven: Broken
"This would be a lot easier if you would move your feet." Emmett sighed, his hand flat against my back. I shook my head, frozen with fear. I did not want to go into that building.
"Adele, it won't be that bad." Alice assured me. "You won't even hear the worst of it."
"That's real reassuring, Alice." Rosalie rolled her eyes, grabbing my hand. It was both comforting and an iron vice with no means of escape. "Throw your hair back." I did, the reddish tint coming out with the movement. "Shoulders back. Chin up just a hair." She watched me, and smiled. "Now pretend you can't hear them."
"Easy for you to say." I mumbled, not breaking form. "You could break them."
"Do you want me to?" She asked, smirking.
"No." Edward said firmly, a few steps behind me. "Just focus on something else, Adele. You'll be fine."
I nodded, following Rosalie into the building. "I can't hear them." I chanted. "I can't hear them. I cannot hear them."
We walked into the building, and the buzzing started immediately. I focused on the sound of our feet, perfectly in synch, hitting the tiles. I sang countless songs in my head. I made songs up. I did anything to focus my attention elsewhere.
I made it through the day, though barely. The sympathetic glances were almost as bad as the gossip. I didn't want pity, I wanted things to be normal. But still, nothing was normal. Even my uniform, which I had been wearing for three and a half years, felt funny. It wasn't mine. It was new, and the fabric hadn't been broken in. It was stiff in places, the sleeves standing out when my arms were at my side. Edward could hear my discomfort through the day, and did his best to ease it. He siphoned off some of his gift that morning, and we chatted through the day, distracting me whenever he thought I was going to snap.
I lived. When the final bell rang, I was the first one in the hallway, the first to my locker. I took out my homework books without looking at them, and bolted to the door. I hadn't even seen the Cullens yet.
"You made it." Edward smiled at me as he left the building. I sighed, slipping down onto the bench. He sat down next to me, an arm around my shoulder. "You did magnificently, actually. I was sure you were going to hurt someone."
"What do you think I am, a newborn?" I scoffed. "I couldn't hurt someone if I tried."
"Probably not." He agreed. "But it's not worth the risk of finding out."
I growled at him, the noise sounding more like the purr of kitten next to him. He laughed, not stopping until the rest of the family was there.
"She's vicious, is she?" Emmett laughed as well.
"I am." I said proudly. The girls laughed as well, and I finally felt the weight of the afternoon shift off my shoulders.
We walked straight home, as I didn't have rehearsal that day. It happened like that every day once performances were over. We went through the month of December too quickly for me to notice, and soon, the usual gossip about me was replaced with a hum of Christmas gossip. Everyone was talking about who had the best tree, who was spending the most on presents, and, of course, the formal dance at the boy's school in the next town over. I already had a date, but my stomach squirmed every time I thought of it.
"Adele, relax." Alice assured me as we sat on my bed and watched it snow one Sunday morning. "I'll find you something perfect."
"That's not why I'm nervous." I admitted. "What if we run out of things to talk about?"
"You never do." Alice sighed. "I hear you all the time in your dance class. You two fit together perfectly." Suddenly she paused and I could tell she was having a vision. Her head snapped to me, and I jumped a little at the ferocious look on her face. "Why didn't you tell me your birthday was Christmas Eve?"
"I guess I just assumed you knew." I shrugged. "It's not really a big deal. We usually just celebrate Christmas and my birthday and Saint Adele's feast day all at the same time."
"No." Alice shook her head. "That's not how we're doing it. Christmas Eve is no more." She waved her hands dramatically. "And unless you really want the feast day-" I shook my head vigorously. It was something my father had made us celebrate. "Then December 24th is officially your birthday, and nothing else." She jumped up suddenly excited. "I have a party to plan now. You just sit tight and watch the snow." She ran off, and I could almost see the wheels in her head turning.
"You shouldn't have done that." Edward was at my side in an instant, taking Alice's seat. "She's going to make it into quite the event."
"She'll have fun." I shrugged, smiling. "And I won't pass up the chance to see the house decorated even further." Slowly but surely Christmas decorations had made their way into the old Victorian house. Pine garlands were wrapped around the banisters of the stairs, red ribbons adorned practically everything, and there was even the occasional bit of mistletoe hiding where you least expected it.
"You are strange, you know." He said lightly. I nodded, allowing my head to fall to his shoulder. "Very strange. I can see why so many boys are chasing you, though. There is something quite attractive about you." I sat upright again, raising an eyebrow. "I'm being serious." He nodded to himself. "Like you said once, you are delicate. Graceful. It's a very pretty kind of beauty. And then your mind? There's so much there, and you're only human!" He seemed to forget who he was talking to until he looked down and saw my blush. "I'm sorry." He said in a rush. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"I'm not." I lied. He just laughed, slipping his arm around me again.
"You really are strange." He concluded. We settled back, watching the snow. I don't know how long we were like that, but then suddenly we weren't. He was on his feet, his eyes glazed over, his hands clenched into fists. I watched him nervously, having never seen this reaction from him. Suddenly his vision returned, and his eyes were cold, emotions mixing in them like a cake batter.
"Carlisle!" His voice joined Alice's as they called for their father, and it was then that the first stab of fear ran through me.
"What did she see?" I asked. He shook his head, ignoring me. I reached for his hand, but he pulled away.
"Edward?" I asked, fear and now hurt mingling in my voice.
"Go downstairs." He said as Alice ran up to the second floor. He steered me out of the room, and I stumbled. A new set of hands caught me, and I could tell by the instant clam that came over me that it was Jasper. "Keep her downstairs and act like everything is normal when Maria comes back." He said. My mother was out grocery shopping with Esme. If they were hiding something from her, it wasn't good.
"What's wrong?" I asked Jasper as he led me downstairs.
"Nothing's wrong." He said, his deep voice betraying nothing.
"You're lying." I muttered. He just shrugged, sitting me down next to Rosalie and Emmett on the sofa in the living room. The radio was on, but I couldn't hear it properly.
"It's lunch time." Jasper said. "What do you want?"
"I'm not hungry." I said. It was the truth. My appetite had disappeared the moment Edward had stood up. He nodded, and sat down next to me.
We were silent, none of us knowing what exactly was going on. My hands were shaking, despite Jasper's constant efforts to keep me calm. I strained to hear the voices above me, but the Cullens were very good about not being heard. It made me nervous, the eerie stillness of everything. I was the most mobile thing, shifting and fidgeting even more than normal out of nerves. My surrounding guard was still as statues. I couldn't help but wish I could be as still and perfect as them.
Then, suddenly I caught something. A loud bang, and the clatter of angry voices. It was a short exchange, and there was silence once again. I turned to Jasper.
"Edward lost his temper for a moment." He said quietly. I nodded, my mind still upstairs. He watched me for a moment. "You hate this." It wasn't a question. "You hate not knowing what is in your future."
"I always had everything planned." I said softly. "Now I can't have plans."
He nodded, a fresh wave of calm sweeping over me. I sighed, my head falling to his shoulder. He didn't even tense like he usually did.
"Adele." I was being called. I stood up and followed Carlisle's voice, up the stairs and to the end of the hall to his and Esme's room. Alice and Edward were on either side of him, sitting in small chairs. I could feel the tension in the room, have accidently stolen a bit of Jasper's gift, and shuddered.
"It's not good." I said. Edward shook his head. I looked at Alice, and she couldn't hold my gaze. A thought occurred to me, a terrible, torturous thought. Edward nodded. "No." The word came out as a sharp command. As if that were enough to stop it. "He can't. When?"
"This week." Alice said softly. "I'm not exactly sure yet. He's made the decision to come home, but he hasn't set a date."
"He doesn't have a home." I growled. The anger was fleeting, instead replaced by a sick kind of sadness that ate at me like a cancer. "Then what happens?"
"We're not sure." Carlisle said. "The plan isn't clear yet. We don't where we could be when he arrives."
"But what about me?" I asked. I felt delicate, breakable. I was afraid.
"You will come with us." Carlisle caught my hand, pulling me closer. "We'll leave, with you."
"That's not what I mean." I looked to Edward for help.
"She's worried about what he'll do to her." He clarified. "Adele, he won't get close enough to hurt you. I promise." There was fierceness to his words that made it clear he would be glued to me in the coming week.
"You shouldn't worry, Adele." Carlisle's voice had never strayed from its normal calm. "Both you and your mother will be safe."
"No, we won't." I was having my own vision, and unlike Alice, I knew it was true. It was true, and it wouldn't change. "I know him. He won't rest until he's done his damage. I would just be easier if we let him get us."
"Don't say that." Edward growled. "That's not going to happen."
"It will." I said. My voice was strong, despite the fear, the pain. "I know it."
They didn't believe. At least, not then.
--- --- ---
Edward was indeed my constant companion that week. I wanted to hit him a few times, but he just ignored me. Any pain I was going through was just collateral damage in the war for my safety. I knew it was a losing battle.
The Cullens were not tipped off to that until the day of. When I woke up Friday to a bright, sunlit day, I groaned. As much as I loved the sun, it would mean the Cullens had to stay home. I would have to face school alone for the first time since living with them.
I got dressed slowly, frowning the whole time. I laughed at all of their fake illnesses, which was the easiest way to convince my mother that they should all stay home. Edward and Alice watched me warily as I left, though she had already confirmed that nothing bad would happen at school.
It was boring without the Cullens. I went through my classes in a kind of daze, the final bell sounding sweeter than it ever had. It was also the last day of classes before our Christmas break, so the atmosphere was particularly cheerful.
I went outside and saw my mother waiting for me. It was childish, but I liked seeing her there, knowing that she had waited for me.
"I had to go to the supermarket for a few things, and I thought I would pick you up, mija." She explained as we took off in the opposite direction of the Cullen home. "Those boys sure can eat a lot when they are sick."
"The Cullens ate?" I raised an eyebrow. She laughed.
"If they are sick then they should eat. It will make them stronger. I wouldn't leave the room until they had finished that soup. They didn't seem to enjoy it much." I had to stifle my laugh at my imaginings of the looks Edward and Emmett had given my mother. I was sure it would have entertained me for years.
We reached the store quickly, and Mama went through and quickly replaced the ingredients from the soup. She also picked up some familiar items, and I smiled.
"Cake, Mama?"
"For your birthday." She admitted. "It's the only thing Alice will let me do. I think she's more excited than you are, mija."
"She is." I assured her. We were preparing to leave now, and as we stood in the check out line we watched the sun start to set, far too early. The streaks of red and pink made me think of fabric, brightly colored and forming an odd watercolor in the sky. I didn't think of blood until afterwards.
We were walking through the semi-dark city. It seemed fuzzy, a trick of the half light that kept us from feeling unsafe. That was our first mistake.
It wasn't until we reached the corner, a block away from the supermarket, that I first heard a third pair of footsteps. I looked around, and didn't see anyone. Biting my lip in thought, I followed my mother across the street, my footsteps trying to match hers. Finally we were in step, and the third set of footfalls became even clearer. They seemed to be longer, covering more distance in one step than ours were. I looked behind me, and saw a man this time, just now crossing the street. His hat was pulled low, and I couldn't see his eyes. I didn't think anything of it, though. There were plenty of other people walking as well, and it was chilly. It seemed only natural that he would protect himself from the cold.
We were by the school again when fear finally prickled through me. The man was closer now, and something about those footsteps was familiar. My body was telling me to run, but I couldn't quell my curiosity. I turned around, and in that instant the footsteps broke into a run. I was thrown suddenly into an alley, hitting the cold bricks with too much force. I felt something break, and I moaned. My mother screamed, but it was quickly stifled. And then, I heard a voice.
"Don't say a word, girl." My blood ran cold. Alice had been right. It was within the week. And I had been right. It didn't matter. He was here, and he was going to kill us both.
"I'll take care of her first." There was a loud thud, and whimper that wasn't me. "And then you're next."
I stayed silent, tears streaming down my face. He couldn't. He wouldn't. I was lying to myself.
I didn't run. I could have. He was engrossed in the beating of my mother. Her screams reverberated off the brick walls, and I prayed to every god possible that help would find us. None did. From where I sat, facing the brick wall, I could still see the sunlight, desperate to stay. I never wanted to see the sun again after that.
He was muttering, his words vicious. "Stupid whore." He said. "You took everything from me. You made me the way I am. It's your fault, and you will pay. You and your bastard child. That's not my girl. That's not my girl!"
I forced myself to move. I ran to him, throwing myself against him, trying to distract him. He took a second to throw me back against the wall, and resumed. I charged at him again, bouncing off him. I threw myself over my mother's body, trying to get him to hurt me. He kicked me off. He had found his goal, and as much as I cried, I couldn't get my voice to work. It was frozen, as cold as my hands were, despite the frantic activity. I had never felt so cold in my life. I threw punch after punch at him, to no avail. He ignored me like I was a fly on his windshield, and only occasionally would I earn myself a swipe. I fell to the ground, sobbing. Why did no one hear me? Why?
My mother's screaming died off. She was down to whimpers, and even those were letting go. She was losing everything. Blood, temperature, life. Everything seemed ready to escape her, and when she finally fell silent, his rough hands grabbed me, forcing me to look at her battered body.
"Watch her." He growled. "Watch her die."
I did. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't save her, and I couldn't avenge her. I was weak, I was delicate, and I had finally broken.
She was still breathing, and I prayed harder. I called upon all the gods, the Greeks, the Romans, Jesus, the Hindus. Anyone who could help us. I cried to myself, praying for her to breathe. Eventually, it grew quiet, slow. I was listening, and knew it was still there. He wasn't. He turned to me.
"That's the last thing you will ever see, mutt." He kicked me hard in the head, and I heard a crack. "You don't belong to me. Your bitch mother left you alone." There was another snapping noise as he kicked my side. I didn't let another noise escape me. Instead, I focused on my mother, and the sound of her breathing. It became the only thought in my head, the whisper that the air made as it entered and exited. It became a lullaby, as I found myself suddenly and completely unconscious.