Diary of a Snake
Dear Diary,
I AM SO FLIPPIN SMEXY! I mean, look at me, just look, aren't I so very smexy? yes, yes I am. I am the KING of smexy. I rule the smexy people. Hey! Does that mean I rule Sasuke? YAY!!!! You know what Diary, you are so smexy with your picture of super smexy Sasuke on the front cover, I think I'll call you SMEXY-CHAN! Yes, you are no Smexy-chan! Or mabey I should call you Smexy-Sasu-chan. YES, THAT IS EVEN SMEXIER. Dear Diary, you are no Smexy-Sasu-chan.
Sincerely,
THE KING OF SMEXY, Orochimarou
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Dear Smexy-Sasu-Chan,
SASUKE IS SO MEAN TO ME! I was about to teach him a brand new jutsu, when he just started hitting me with a giant spiky board. I don't know what was wrong with him, but he was saying something along the lines of 'STUPID WEASEL RUINING MY SHIRT.' I don't get it though. Does Sasuke have a new pet weasel? I'll ask him if I can borrow it. Although, last time I asked if I could borrow one of Sasuke's things, he started beating me with a giant spiked metal bat and then he burned me to a crisp. So I really don't think my dear super-smexy student would let me see any of his pets. Well, I'll just get my own! TO THE SUPER SMEXY PET STORE FOR SUPER SMEXY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Orochimarou
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Dear Smexy-Sasu-chan,
I've always wanted to say this. DANGIT, FOILED AGAIN. See, I was walking my smexy self down the hall, smexily, when I noticed that my dear smexy student Sasuke had made himself a lovely bubble bath. When Sasuke walked out of the bathroom to help Kabuto real quick, I settled my smexy self down into the bath and put on my super smexist smile. then when Sasuke returned, he opened the curtain, saw me, and then he ran out of there so quickly. I wish that he had at least dropped his robe before he ran. Oh well. I'll catch him again. Of course, I'll ctach him smexily.
Sincerely,
Orochimarou.