Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

I am so tired and I should probably go to sleep but I can't be bothered to move right now.

EPOV

She wouldn't speak to me again until we reached a secluded spot, some distance from the house. As soon as she had entered in from the garage I knew something was wrong, there had been no spark in her eye, and lines seemed etched into her face. Now we were alone though, it was even more apparent.

She played with her sleeves nervously, avoiding eye contact and not saying a word.

"What is it?" I asked eventually, pained to see her so upset.

Her movements became more pronounced at my question and she made me sit down on the forest floor, her body folding down next to me. She still wouldn't speak or look at me. I grew more frightened by the minute.

"I'm going to tell you everything," she announced suddenly. I opened my mouth to argue, to tell her it was alright, but she pressed a finger against my lips, halting my words before they could take shape. "I want to do this, I need to do this. Please don't interrupt," she begged. I nodded in acceptance and her whole body relaxed, releasing tension from her shoulders and loosening her body.

"When I was leaving La Push, Paul stopped me and took me to Victoria and Felix. They killed him because they didn't need him any more once they had me. I blacked out and when I woke up I found myself in the feeding room of the Volturi. Aro and Jane tested their powers on me, though I didn't realize it at the time. They didn't work so Aro wanted me to become part of the Guard. He wanted the power to break your family, and he thought I could help him do that. Felix took me to a room deeper in the castle. When we were walking he told me exactly what he had done to me in Seattle, and what he wanted to do once I was changed. Just thinking back to his words fills me with horror. He bit me and left, but I don't think he went far, so I didn't give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

After the change I was told Aro wanted to see me. I asked where you were, I was so sure you'd be there, but he told me you hadn't come, that it was impossible for vampires to love someone. His words…they felt so true. They were like the weight of the ocean, unforgivable and relentless, hammering his distorted thinking into my heart and mind. I lost my grip on reality and sealed my entire being away in my mind, leaving nothing behind. I was safe. Away from Aro and Felix. I made my own world inside my head. You were with me and we were happy. It was so real to me, like it was the only life I'd ever known. We lived together, all smiles and laughter, and every night you would hold me as we slept.

But even you couldn't keep the nightmares away. I would live my peaceful life with you plagued with visions and dreams of reality. I would see Felix above me as he used my body. Victoria was there too I think, I remember seeing her watch Felix…and join in touching me if Felix wished it. I would hear Aro's laughter as they slaughtered humans and painted the walls in their blood. I would 'live' haunted by their screams.

Then…it all changed.

I dreamed of seeing you again, the only one in my nightmares that was free of blood. We danced and you held me close. I could hear every word you said to me, hear the longing in your voice, feel the love in your touch. Everyone else was there too, I had you in both worlds and I felt content. Then you all started to disappear one by one. You were the last to leave. We went to sleep together and when I awoke you weren't there. There was nobody but me and no matter how hard I searched I couldn't find any of you. I hated the emptiness. I wanted my family back. I wanted you back. That want, the raw need I felt broke me out of my shell, but when I came back to myself Felix was above me again.

I tried to fight him, but he just laughed. That was the first time I used my power. I used it to rip him apart without remorse. Instead I felt such satisfaction at being able to hurt him, and finally make him pay. I left him in pieces and went to find Aro. When I found him I demanded my freedom. He granted it but at a cost. He killed Heidi. He said that it was the price of my freedom. They burned her a piece at a time, dragging her suffering out whilst she shrieked in agony. I can still hear her beg for it to stop, and see the look of pain and horror in her eyes as she burned. I couldn't help her at all, I was completely useless. I couldn't control the shield; I could do nothing but watch. I wouldn't lessen her death by turning away, especially since it was all my fault. If I hadn't told Aro about the law of forcing a vampire to join the Guard he wouldn't have had a legitimate reason to kill Heidi. She died and I left.

The rest is… well, you know it already. I met Garrett and I saw Charlie and the Pack, even if they were being pathetic in blinding themselves with hatred and stubbornness. Then I met Bronagh and then I came here."

She stopped speaking and looking down into her lap whilst I watched her in silence. So much pain and grief had surrounded her, tormented her whilst she struggled to survive.

"Edward? Please don't hate me. Oh God, please don't." she begged. "Say something, please, Edward,"

But what do you say to someone when they have told you all? When they have spread their secrets for you, and bared their battered soul? I didn't know, and still don't know. So with her pleading with me not to hate her I gathered her into my arms and held her close, whispering words of love and reassurance, the only words I had to offer, whilst she sobbed into my chest.

I know Bella's story is basically recapping the entire story so far, but I wanted her to tell Edward everything and some of what I hadn't said before needed to be said so it went here. Sorry if it bored anyone, I promise that I will try to stop repeating things!

And speaking of stories...please go vote on my poll! I really wanna know what you guys want to read.