Chapter 4: Confused

"Bella, do you think it's really from him?" Jacob asked concerned.

"I don't know Jake. Maybe." In my mind I wanted Him to come back, I wanted my angel back. But why would he send a note now? He told me when he left that he would never return.

"It will be as if I never existed", he had promised me. Why after a year would he break that promise? My brain kept telling me something was wrong, something was terribly wrong but I couldn't think. My heart was doing back flips in my chest thinking he was finally coming back to me. I felt like an eternity without him was about to come to an end. And I was right; it was about to come to an end, just not in the way I thought.

Jacob left fairly soon after that. We didn't really have that much to say to each other. I knew Jacob hated Edward for leaving me all broken and he had been given the job to fix me. He couldn't understand how someone could leave me and I could still love Him, but I did love Him. I just didn't know if he came back would I be able to let him in again, would my heart be able to take it?

I began to make dinner. Edward filled my every thought. I saw his godly face every where I looked but my mind kept coming back to the day he left me in the forest. He had told me we needed to talk; I followed. But he did something I thought I would never have to hear; he told me he didn't want me. His heavenly face left my mind, all I could think were his words to me that day in the forest. My heart stopped doing flips as I remembered this; He didn't want me, He didn't love me, He left.

Charlie walked in the door just in time. Tears were forming in my eyes and threatened to spill over but with Charlie here they crept back to where they had come from. I was crying too much lately this was causing me too much pain.

"Hey Charlie", I shouted as I heard him hang up his coat.

"Hey Bells, how was your day?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Fine", I lied. I wasn't about to tell him that I got a note from my ex-boyfriend and spent the rest of the day crying while Jacob sat and watched.

He seemed happy with my answer and went into the lounge room to watch the game no doubt. That's the thing I like about Charlie, you can give him a one syllable answer and he wouldn't mind. Unlike most parents, who you gave them that answer and they would go into a one hour lecture about how you weren't talking to them enough and they want to get more involved in your life, till you had to give up and tell them what's worrying you or go storming off to your room only to apologise later about how you had acted immaturely.

Once dinner was ready, I called Charlie but he said a game was on that he wanted to watch so I went up to my room to eat. I tried to get Him out of my mind but I couldn't, everything reminded me of Him. I eventually gave up and went to bed.

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