AN: It smells like bread in here…
AN: Mmm, I've been bad and haven't updated in a while. Sorry, sorry, I know. But look! I'm updating now! So don't eat me! I went to an anime convention a few weeks ago and since then have been bouncing off the walls so yeah. Hehe… I totally wrote the first three pages of this chapter in public, and let me tell you, writing about Deidara's sex life while this old guy is munching on a sandwich and trying to read over your shoulder is AWKWARD. But enough about that, I just want to thank you guys for the lovely reviews. They mean a lot to me!! I don't know what I'd do without you guys!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. So sorry.
WARNING: …You know how this goes. Don't read if you don't like yaoi. Don't read if you don't like SasoDei. Period. How you got this far, I'll never know.
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Movies weren't really Deidara's thing. Sure, he liked them and all. They provide a visual getaway from the norm of the day and bad television, but when you sit down to watch a movie, you're taking a gamble. What kind of gamble, you ask? Well, it's very simple: if the movie is good, then that was two or three hours well spent. If the movie is bad, however, then that was precious time wasted that could've been spent doing far more productive things like, say, fucking someone into the mattress, perhaps.
So, for one Deidara Seiryuu to leave his comfortable home to go out and see a movie that he had no idea if it would be good or not was quite a wonder.
The movie he'd chosen to see had been out for quite some time. If Deidara were in a better mood, he more then likely would've invited some pretty little thing to go to the theater with him, seeing as how it would be fairly empty. Alas, he would just be paying to fuck someone, so he decided against taking a partner along and opted to just go by himself. Why pay to do such things in public where you could get caught and prosecuted when you could just do them at home?
The blond parked his car fairly close to the front and got out, making a quick dash inside. It was a fairly dreary day with rain and harsh wind, so getting from point A to point B was going to have to be a quick effort. It was definitely a good day to be in a cold, dark theater indulging in this and that.
Flashing the female teenage clerk his best grin, the sultry blond managed to con his way into a cheaper ticket, content that he'd done the world a greater good by being as sexy as possible. Oh, what would people do without him?
Sauntering down the hall, the blond walked into his designated screening, taking a look around. There was a couple sitting down in front and then one person sitting in the back toward the middle. Deidara firmly believed that there was potential everywhere, and that a person sitting alone in a theater could very well be the hottest person ever and potentially his next lay. Sure, he didn't come to the theater to fuck, but he never passed up an opportunity to indulge.
So ,with a sure stride, Deidara walked down the person's aisle and sat down next to them, getting a good look at their face.
Oh, yeah, the fates were so his bitches.
It had been close to a month and a half since he'd last run into his redheaded kitten of a teacher. Interestingly enough, it was only the day after he'd seen him in the grocery store that he completely forgot about that so-called rekindled lust that had sprung up from that short visit, and as such he forgot about his teacher entirely. Finding the other here and now was a pleasant reminder to that little twinge of fire in his chest. Sometimes Deidara just needed a little kick to get things moving again.
"Hey Mr. Akasuna! Fancy seeing you here!"
Mr. Akasuna had been watching the blond as soon as he turned down his aisle, not quite willing to share the seat beside himself, but not wanting to come off rude to his former student. Oh, the dilemma he was facing.
"Hello, Deidara…" the redhead drolled, stiffening up in his seat from his original slouched position, hazel eyes looking towards the other male in a wary glance.
"Never thought I'd see you at a vampire flick, un. What brings you in?" The blond grinned charmingly, remembering to remain as polite as he could manage. The more charming and polite he was, the easier it would be to get into Mr. Akasuna's pants. That's just how it was.
Mr. Akasuna sighed and leaned back in his chair, forcing himself to be more relaxed, although mentally he was not looking forward to the next hour and fifty-seven minutes. He'd only come to this movie on a whim since he'd read the book a year or so back and found it interesting. Something told him that the movie was going to be horrible, but he had to see just how horrible it was. Besides, it was a nice break from grading papers.
"I read the book," he replied simply, lightly raising a foot up to reside on top of the empty seat in front of him, the other foot coming up to cross at the ankle soon after. Of course, the oblivious redhead failed to notice Deidara's gaze lingering on his legs.
"I didn't know it was a book…" Deidara said without really thinking, looking toward the other male.
Deidara detested reading and only did it when he really needed to. Reading was so boring and books rarely caught his interest. They always started so slow and the sheer number of pages most books had was enough to turn the blond off to it entirely.
Mr. Akasuna, however, could only stare at Deidara. "It was a best seller. Your English teacher made you read it for a book report."
"Oh. I never did those, un."
Somehow, Mr. Akasuna wasn't surprised, but before he could come back with a witty remark, the lights dimmed and the previews began to roll.
"Mm, I love previews, un."
If Deidara was going to talk like this through the entire movie, Mr. Akasuna was sure he was going to kill something. Preview chat was fine, but anymore than that, and ugh… It was things like this that made him wait until movies had been out for a long while until he'd go out to see them. He really didn't like to deal with other people when he was trying to focus on something else.
"Why do you like them?" the redhead asked idly, reaching out and sipping on the drink that he'd brought in with him.
"Well when you watch them, everyone gets to be a critic."
"Okay?"
"Think about it. Watch this one." Deidara gestured forward to the flashy preview for a clearly B level movie.
Naturally, the redheaded teacher looked forward and watched the preview intently, taking in the moving images with mild interest. He usually zoned out when previews played, only focusing when he heard good music playing in the background. Good music made for a good movie, after all.
While the other male was watched, Deidara focused in on his face. Damn, did he ever look attractive in this lighting. It was enough to make Deidara want to lean in and push his lips against the other's own. With any luck, that would spur Mr. Akasuna to just barely part his lips and—
"That looks horrible," the teacher said with a cringe on his face.
Shaken out of his reverie, Deidara glanced at the screen before grinning back at Mr. Akasuna, just the usual dazzling smile that could melt the sun with his charm.
"And why did it look horrible?" the blond inquired.
At this, Mr. Akasuna narrowed his eyes, giving the other a look that said, "Weren't you watching it?" But he knew better then to ask that. It was Deidara, after all.
"The music was horrible, and the five seconds of watching the actors interact was enough to give me a headache," he replied simply.
Deidara's grin just grew, gesturing out. "See? Everyone gets to be a critic, un." At this, the college student gave a chuckle. "Ah, Dane Cook. That silly bitch."
"What?" Mr. Akasuna asked, looking at the other as though he had a second head, wondering what that had to do with anything.
"He's a comedian and that spiel was a joke he did."
"Oh…" the teacher said, a certain amount of hesitance in his voice. He didn't really listen to such things, mostly because the sheer stupidity of most comedians was enough to make Mr. Akasuna gag.
Their discussion had gone on long enough that the movie had begun to play. The pair directed their eyes back toward the screen as they watched the scenes play out before them in a badly rewritten plot.
The most awkward part had to be when a sex scene popped up about twenty minutes in. Mr. Akasuna was appalled because that didn't take place in the book, where as Deidara was too busy critiquing the male's hip movements with dismay and glancing at Mr. Akasuna to noticing the beginnings of something going on down in the front row.
It didn't take long for that to change, however.
"WOAH! Heh, looks like someone's getting some down there, huh, Mr. A.?" Deidara said, gesturing to the couple heatedly making out in the front row.
Mr. Akasuna looked at Deidara with furrowed eyebrows before looking down at the front row, squinting his eyes as though it would give him some advantage to see in the dark. As soon as he did, however, he instantly wished he hadn't. He grimaced in silent, almost unseen horror. Pulling his feet down, the redhead ducked down a little bit, raising a hand to his temples.
Deidara looked down at his former teacher in confusion before asking, "Something wrong Mr. Aka—"
"Shut up," the flustered teacher blurted out, glaring up at the other.
"What's wrong? Mr. Akasuna?"
"I said shut it, and call me Sasori!"
At this, Deidara raised a corner of his lips, pulling the other corner down so it made an "S" shape, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Okay…?"
"She's a student of mine…"
Deidara's head instantly snapped up and saw just was Sasori had seen the beginnings of, a wicked grin spreading over his lips as he watched the girl's head bob up and down in her male companion's lap, the guy tilting his head back in pleasure. Deidara could only grin wider, giving Sasori a sly glance.
"I bet every time you look at her in class now, you'll be picturing her giving some guy head now, huh?"
Sasori scowled at the comment, looking up at Deidara with a small sarcastic snort. "No more than I did when I caught you and Hidan in the broom closet."
Deidara's eyes almost popped out of his skull, they'd widened so much, his face blanching as he squeaked out, "That was you?!"
"Hey, Hidan!" Deidara called from down the hall, catching the platinum blond's attention.
"The fuck you want?" said male replied, stopping and leaning against a locker. He knew the look on Deidara's face. He knew it very well. Deidara wanted something.
"Exactly," Deidara replied, smirking confidently as he sauntered up close. "It's been a long-ass morning and I had a pretty hot-ass dream last night, so what do you say we skip fourth hour and blow off some steam, un?"
Hidan just grinned. He never passed up a quickie, and it usually put him in a better mood.
"My place or yours, fag?"
"Neither. Broom closet in the math wing. You in?"
"Why a fucking closet?!" Hidan protested, the idea of potentially having some acid-like cleaner fall on his cock not being a pleasant one. Who the fuck knew what those janitors cleaned with to get sharpie off of bathroom stalls?
"Because I'm not patient enough to sit in a car with a hard on and you won't let anyone fuck in your car, un."
Hidan sneered and cocked his head back slightly, getting defensive.
"That car is my fucking baby, the fuck I'm going to get cum all over the black seats. Black. Fucking. Seats. Deidara! Do you have any idea how hard white stains would be to ge--"
"Okay, okay. Shut up and let's go, un," Deidara said, snatching the other's wrist and dragging him down the hallway. Hidan blurted out curses all of the way to the other side of the school. Hidan clearly did not like to be drug around, and, as usual, he let the world know. Such occurrences with the pair were so normal that other students and teachers filing into their respective classrooms didn't even give them a second look. Sure, teachers had tried to make Hidan clean up his language, but after junior year and God only knew how many detentions they realized it was simply a worthless cause.
Upon reaching the closet, Deidara slipped in, pulling the other in before shutting the door behind them. There was a brief glance exchanged between the two in the dark room before Deidara flung himself at Hidan, immediately going for the neck and biting down, Hidan letting out a hiss as he dug his nails into the blond's back.
The pair weren't in a relationship by any means. That would be too awkward since their personalities clashed so badly. No, they were what one would call "fuck buddies". Two people who had sex but have no emotional attachments to each other outside of friendship. Both were simply there to joke and hang out like any other friends would, but also there to relieve sexual frustrations without the trouble of having to hunt down a partner. Deidara kept it simple, as did Hidan.
Their position went from the middle of the small three foot by three foot closet to the very back, several brooms being knocked down. One nailed Deidara in the back of the head as he pulled his partner's shirt off, Hidan cussing slightly as another one tripped him up. Once situated against a back counter/sink, Hidan flipped their positions, pulling Deidara's shirt off and letting his mouth clamp down on Deidara's shoulder, drawing a bit of blood and sucking on it. Deidara never understood Hidan's fixation with that, but he didn't question it too much, just letting out a low growl and bucking his hips into the other's own.
One watching the situation could easily see that they weren't in a relationship by the lack of intimacy. They never kissed on the lips or higher then the neck. Rarely did they make eye contact unless one was telling the other to do something, and, most of all, they never called out each other's names.
"Ahh!! Mr. Akasunaaa!!" Deidara moaned out, lost in a fantasy as Hidan stroked the other male, successfully having removed all clothing by this point.
"Still fucking hung up on that guy? Shit, man, it's almost spring break," Hidan managed out, sparing his fingers a lick before preparing the other. They took turns being the "bitch", and it was currently Deidara's turn, whether he liked it or not.
"Fuck off, ahh, Hidan," Deidara groaned out, pushing back against the other's hand, panting all the while.
While this situation was going on, in the science wing on the other side of school, Sasori was fighting off a headache.
"Don't touch the broken glass, and don't step in the spilled chemicals! Itachi, if you could just take Hatsu to the nurse, I'll take care of the spill," Sasori instructed, holding his bleeding student's hand under the running water of the sink.
"This is why you need to listen to me when I tell you to heat the beaker while holding it with the clamps and not your hand. The school buys cheap supplies, so they break extremely easily when heated like this," Sasori lectured, the teenage boy fighting back tears.
"Be glad we weren't working with anything toxic today. Itachi, just keep pressure here and take these paper towels with you to keep his hand from bleeding everywhere," he said, irritation coursing through his system. This hadn't been a good day in the slightest, and it had been his second broken glass incident with this experiment, but his first injury. He had to wonder if his students even had the mental capacity for these sorts of experiments…
The student aid took action, following Sasori's instructions as latex gloved hands held pressure on the other boy's wound, ushering him off to the nurse.
"Class, if you so much as touch anything or turn on your burners in the five minutes that I am gone, I will use your innards for my sixth hour anatomy class. Are we clear?" he said, eyes widened slightly just out of natural habit when he made threats.
His class nodded with several "Yes, sirs," cringing at how strangely intimidating their chemistry teacher could be when he wanted.
"Good," Sasori said, turning on his heels and exiting.
Of course this would be the day that the science wing's broom closet would be locked. That was just Sasori's luck of the draw. Things would always be more than difficult on the one day he hadn't been able to get much sleep the night before since he was up late grading tests. Of course.
The janitor no where to be seen and Sasori didn't have a key. That left the only other broom closet on his side of the school was in the math wing, but it was still quite a walk. Muttering under his breath, the disgruntled, redheaded teacher moved down the hall, making three left turns and then one right turn before reaching the math hallway. He glared ahead of him the entire way. Today was not his day, and little did he know, it was about to get worse.
Placing his hand on the broom closet's door handle, he pulled it open and paused for a moment.
Some small part of Sasori wished to all hell that he was hallucinating what was currently going on in front of him, but it was very clear when one of them let out a loud moan that it was not a hallucination. It was none other than the only two seniors in his chemistry class going at it in the damn closet beside the broom and mop he needed. In fact, it looked like Deidara was gripping onto it, but Sasori didn't leave the door open long enough to find out as he turned on his heels and walked calmly to the office, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed downward and a firm grimace placed on his lips. That was a lot more then he wanted to see for the two seconds that he had seen it.
"Mm, w-what was that?" Deidara asked, looking towards the door, having been too caught up in sensation to really notice that the door had opened.
"Ah fuck!" Hidan called out, tilting his head back.
…Obviously, Hidan was finished…
Five minutes later had Deidara and Hidan pulling on their clothing before the door opened up, revealing the vice principal and the school councilor, both looking quite furious as they ushered the pair off to the office.
It clicked then that what Deidara thought he saw was them getting caught by someone. The golden haired male concluded that it was Itachi since he was standing in the office, staring at them when they were brought in with a look that said "I can't believe you are that stupid."
An hour of getting yelled at and the pair had 3 days of in school suspension, not exactly what Deidara had wanted when he tracked down Hidan in the first place.
Even in the darkness of the theater, it was easy for Sasori to make out Deidara's horrified expression. He barely repressed an amused smirk. He'd never seen the blond lose his cool like that before. He seemed like the type that didn't let anything get to him.
"Who did you think it was?" Sasori inquired out of mere curiosity.
"Itachi. He was standing in the office when we got there," Deidara managed out, looking completely embarrassed. That was definitely not the way he had wanted Sasori to see him naked for the first time.
Sasori just shook his head and sighed, eyes closed as he rubbed his temples. Sure, he'd been amused for about three seconds, but now he just wanted to leave before his currently "busy" student in the front row saw him.
"Let's, uh, forget that ever happened. Okay?" Deidara suggested with a quiet nervous laugh, Sasori just grunting slightly at the remark.
"The damage and image has long since left my mind. I've blocked it out with more pleasant things."
Deidara couldn't help but wonder what would be more pleasant than him naked. Perhaps "more pleasant" meant Sasori had replaced Hidan with himself? It was a long shot, but Deidara liked the thought, and if he liked it then he must have been right.
"The movie's almost over. I'm going to leave now. It was nice talking to you," Sasori said, pulling up the hood on his black hoodie before glancing back at his student.
"Yeah. I'll see you later, un."
With that, Sasori swiftly moved down the aisle and out the door, leaving Deidara alone with the couple orally fucking each other in the front row.
Oh, how he wished that was him and Sasori right now. But he had to look on the bright side: at least they were on a first name basis now. That meant that he was one step closer to getting into Sasori's pants.
Glancing up at the screen, Deidara rolled his eyes and got up, leaving only ten minutes after the other. He'd lost his movie gamble, but he didn't regret it.
Upon reaching home, Deidara did what he usually did after getting home: he flopped down on his couch and laid back, petting his cat behind the ears. "That movie sucked. I don't recommend you go see it, Grasshopper."
The cat simply purred and pressed its head more into the blond's palm, green eyes closing contently, earning a chuckle from Deidara.
"Yeah, yeah. You're just looking for food, un. Be careful, or you'll become a fat-ass like the neighbor's cat." Getting up, Deidara walked into his meager kitchen and poured some food into the black calico's dish, letting him eat as he moved back into the living room.
"Hmm… May as well watch a real movie," he said with a grin, popping a DVD into the player and turning it on.
Ten minutes later had the sounds of loud moans filling the air, Deidara sitting on his couch, watching his favorite porn with a small smirk on his face. His mind was only on Sasori, wondering idly when he'd get to do these things to him.
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AN: Oh-Ho! We have another encounter! Is lust finally kindling in our young oblivious redhead teacher? Is Deidara ever going to get head from Sasori? What is the name of the porn he's watching?! Well leave a review and these questions will be answered! While you're at it, you should also go read Sky Blue Eyes by Delightful Sin. She only has one chapter up, but maybe if you leave a constructive review bitching at her, then she'll update! Just a thought. Much love, guys.
I took the time to write this. Please take the short time to review. Thank you.