AN: Heeeey guys! So um, here's an update! Feel free to kill me, I spent the time between writing this chapter and finishing the last one doing real life things and playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess with Delightful Sin. Anyway, here's your long awaited chapter! I've got a new fic on the way too, it should be up and about soon. Much love, guys.
Warning: See warnings in previous chapters, damn it.
Disclaimer: I own the words, but I don't own Naruto.
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Deidara always hated the blaring sound of an alarm clock in the morning. It was so… disruptive. Something about that sound made Deidara capable of a double homicide and three armed robberies, though only for an instant. Maybe if mankind woke up to a more pleasant sound, something like the soft coos of last night's lover and the smell of breakfast in the next room, there would be less crime in the world.
Those were just Deidara's musings anyway.
On the other hand, Sasori took that sound and made it his motivation. His alarm clock was located on the other side of the room, thus making him have to get up to turn it off. This was how the redheaded teacher started off everyday, bright and early at the lovely hour of five. A shuffle across the room, a brisk workout, shower, and breakfast of toast with butter; this was his routine.
Deidara insisted on smashing the little screaming clock to bits, waking up late at 10 when he was to be up at 8, blasting music in an overly-hot shower while singing along and skipping breakfast for more interesting things. For Deidara, there was no routine.
This Saturday morning was no different then most.
"Bitches love me, love me, love me!!" Deidara's voice echoed through the steam, dancing around his small bathroom as he sang along to the CD currently playing in the corner, tugging on a pair of impossibly tight pants before attacking his hair with a brush.
Sasori sighed softly to himself as he looked down at the papers before him. Even though it was Saturday, there was still work to be done. He got up at his usual prompt of five AM and went through his routine of working out, showering, and breakfast, thus leaving him with his task for the day. Grading papers wasn't exactly what he wanted to do on his day off, but he figured if he got it done quickly, he could go lurk around the used book store. They usually had decent books for sale that he used often to kill time with. Sasori was a sponge when it came to books; he could never get enough.
Successfully getting every knot out of his hair, Deidara took his usual five minutes to check himself out in the mirror shirtless. As far as he was concerned, he looked best when he was only clad in a pair of pants. It had that sort of alluring, "Don't you want to finish undressing me?" look to it, at least that's what he thought. Licking his lips at himself in the mirror, Deidara pulled on what was by far his favorite white t-shirt to date. Yeah, it was a girl's shirt, but that just meant it hugged his body just that much more and the phrase on the front was just too much to pass up.
Glancing at the clock, Deidara sighed slightly. It was a Saturday, and that meant that Deidara was required by Seiryuu law not to think about school. But he needed to write that essay and then actually buy a college algebra book. He'd been putting it off all semester but now had a failing grade. He got a not too pleasant phone call from his mom about that one.
Reminding himself it was Saturday, Deidara decided he'd spend some time playing a video game before heading out to the used book store on campus. If he had to think about school, he could at least do something fun first.
The antique grandfather clock in the corner of the room drolled out five tolls, alerting Sasori to the fact that he had only two hours left to get to the book store and get what he wanted before it closed. Sighing, he looked at the now quite small stack of papers in front of him. He didn't like to leave tasks unfinished, but he also didn't want to ruin his plans for the day. Well… leaving just three papers ungraded couldn't hurt him. He'd just do them when he got home.
Lifting himself up from his kitchen table he cleaned up his area, finding he would at least come home to order instead of chaos. It didn't take much for things to be labeled as chaos, sadly, in Sasori's world. Slipping his shoes on and grabbing his keys from the rack beside the door, Sasori left his apartment with his task on his mind.
Deidara was purely amazed how five hours could simply fly when you were playing a game like The Legend of Zelda. It was this odd sort of pull when once you got into a temple, you couldn't stop until you beat the damn thing. Fortunately for Deidara, he wasn't terribly far into the game, so the temple wasn't that hard, allowing for his addiction to be quelled for a while.
"Must, stop… Princess can…wait!" Deidara exclaimed, forcing himself to save and turn off the system. He effectively tossed his wireless controller on the side table and laid back on the couch with an over-dramatic sigh, looking down at the cat beside him.
"That's some good stuff, Grasshopper, it's almost better then sex… almost, un."
Said cat just looked up at him, stretched, then went back to sleep, earning a small scratch behind the ears.
Looking toward the clock he had on the stove in his kitchen, Deidara scowled slightly. Now he only had an hour and a half till the damn placed closed and it took ten minutes to get there. Well… with any luck there'd be some hot, lonely employee willing to help him find what he's always looking for and the book he needed. Yeah, he was after Sasori, and the other male was quite fresh in his mind after their somewhat recent theater adventure, but that didn't mean Deidara couldn't fool around here and there in the mean time.
So with that thought in mind, Deidara stood, stretched, and threw on some shoes. He spent five minutes looking for his keys around his cluttered living room before exiting promptly after fixing his hair. Can't go out looking like you just lost and found your keys, right?
Deidara entered the book store with a soft sigh. He really wasn't much of a reader so being in a place so full of books made him feel a bit… out of place. But with charisma like Deidara's own, you could just make that place your own instead of adjusting to fit. So that's what Deidara did.
Smoothly, he walked in and fired the attractive looking clerk his usual smile, leaning up on the counter and over so he was in much closer proximity to the male.
"Hey, mind telling me where I could find the college math books, hm?" He asked smoothly, letting his eyes trail over the brunette.
Of course the male didn't quite know how to react, as he was more then likely quite straight. So with a slightly flustered expression, he pointed to the last aisle with the most sheepish smile one could possibly imagine.
"L-Last shelf in that aisle, s-sir. If you need any more help just-"
"Ask? Oh I will," Deidara cut in, smirking smoothly before pushing himself off the counter and walking to the last aisle.
As expected, said aisle was completely barren of any sort of life, but then again that's how Deidara felt about math: a lifeless world that really didn't need to exist. All the world needed from it was addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Of course that was all the world ever needed out of anything anyway.
Browsing for a mere moment, Deidara grabbed the book he needed but stopped. He'd come all this way, went through hell to find parking, and gotten his book in under five minutes. That was just sad. Pursing his lips, the azure eyed student tucked the book under his arm and sighed. Well… maybe he could just browse around? Maybe by some stroke of luck he would find a book to read.
So with a soft hum, he pushed off the wall and slipped down the main aisle, letting his eyes wander down the aisles that branched off of it. First aisle: boring, second aisle had two people in it, but it was the high level English aisle, which meant there would be no interesting books down that one. Not that such a thing existed for Deidara anyway. Interesting books, ha.
The third and fourth aisles were much the same, but the fifth, well at the end of it held a special surprise for Deidara.
A shock of red hair graced his vision and all he could do was grin and slip quietly into the aisle behind him. For some stupid reason the song that plays when you open a big treasure chest in Zelda suddenly rang through his head. He had to take a break from that damn game…
Drawing in a breath, he peeked between the books and across the shelf to the aisle Sasori was in, watching as he browsed through books.
Today's selection in the fiction section was… less then pleasing for the redheaded teacher. He'd poked around in the history section for a while, then looked at historical fiction; a fully expected disappointment, and thus lead him to plain old fiction...
…Where he now found himself as frustrated as he had been in the other sections.
Fantasy wasn't his thing, but he'd picked up a mildly interesting sounding one anyway. No, what Sasori craved today was a good crime drama, a mystery novel if you will. The redhead was incredibly picky, as he didn't want to waste precious time on a book he might not like. He had far better things to do then that.
Sighing, he looked down, hazel eyes looking at the depressingly small used mystery section. Letting his eyes scan over titles, he bent down and grabbed one that looked interesting, unaware he was being watched.
Deidara's eyes followed the other's form as he bent down, shamelessly checking out the oblivious male's ass with hungry eyes. Whatever prompted it, Deidara couldn't keep it inside. He outwardly hummed that little tune that plays when you open a big treasure chest in Zelda.
Sasori straightened with book in hand, looking around somewhat confused. He could've sworn he heard someone behind him humming something… must've just been someone in another aisle being idiotic. Looking down, he opened the book and started to read the first few pages, figuring if those were decent he would just go ahead and buy it for entertainment's sake.
Deidara knew this was the perfect chance to make his presence known without drawing any sort of suspicion to himself.
"Hey Sasori, long time no see," Deidara called from the other end of the aisle, smiling warmly.
Sasori looked up when his name was called, slightly irritated he was being torn away from a potentially good book, but more confused when he saw Deidara. What the hell was up with him running into his former student every other week or so? It seemed like that was happening a lot recently…
"Hello, Deidara," he replied quietly, closing the book.
The blond couldn't help but notice how when he called Sasori by his name instead of Mr. Akasuna, he didn't go ridged or into teacher mode. In place of that, he just straightened and looked mildly annoyed, as though it was some great burden having his name simply fall from another person's lips.
"What brings you to the campus book store? You don't go to school here," Deidara mused, smiling as he looked at the books in the other's arms.
Sasori just inwardly rolled his eyes, straightening his posture a bit before responding.
"Not right this instant, no. As it stands now,though, this is the cheapest book store in town. I suppose this is where you go to school?"
Deidara grinned, rolling his shoulders smoothly. He didn't want to come off as too cocky, oh no, right now he had to come off as the more mature college student who would be a joy to talk to on a one on one basis. Once he had Sasori at a point where he wouldn't scare him off, then he'd be more himself. "Yeah, for the moment this is where I go. Didn't want to stray too far from my stomping grounds, you know?"
Sasori gave a hum of acknowledgment before he let his eyes fall away from his former student's face. There was writing on the other's shirt that caught his attention. It looked like a popular soda's logo but the writing there… well it certainly wasn't the green and white logo he was used to.
"Deidara… how do you get away with wearing a grotesque girls' shirt out in public?" Sasori said, not intending it to be a serious question, but anyone that could walk out wearing a white shirt that said "Mount and Do Me" had to expect negative feedback.
Inside, Deidara blanched, so much for his mature guise. Well he could still milk it and get away with one or two screw ups right? After all, he was a college guy, and college guys wore shirts like this.
"It's all I had clean this morning, Hidan gave it to me for my birthday last year and it was the only thing in my drawer. Which reminds me I need to do laundry tonight, so thanks for pointing that out, I would've forgotten otherwise, un."
Sasori wasn't sure if he was supposed to say "you're welcome" to that or not, so instead he chose the high road and just answered with a soft hum.
Deidara grinned and "stealthfully" brought his own book up over the shirt's writing, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "So, what brings you here anyway, un?"
Sasori shrugged, wondering where Deidara's curiosity ended. "I needed a new book."
Deidara glanced at the books Sasori had in his hand with a little grin, nodding and letting his eyes return to the other's face, but not to his eyes, instead he focused on the rather pleasant looking pair of lips that adorned the other's face.
"That's cool, yeah, I just came in here to get a book for my college algebra class. I figure maybe it'll help me bring my grade up, un."
Funny, Sasori couldn't remember asking Deidara why he came. In fact, Sasori was quite ready to go home and finish grading the three papers he hadn't graded as well as settle in for some reading. But Deidara insisted on carrying on conversation, and Sasori had to admit, he was quite lacking in the social department. Maybe this wouldn't be so terrible; to carry on a conversation.
Little did Sasori know, Deidara had just formed a glorious idea in his head, which lead to the forming of a plan which was about to go into action.
The brief silence was interrupted by Deidara, per usual, the blond looking down with a heavy, troubled sigh. "Hey um… you're good with numbers right?" Deidara asked, playing up the scared, vulnerable student role.
Warily, Sasori furrowed his eyebrows, something in his gut telling him Deidara was up to something. "I am decent with them. Why?"
"Well it's like I said, Sasori, I've got a really bad grade in math and well, I figure who better to help me then a teacher, right?"
So that's what Deidara was up to, Sasori had a feeling it would be something to that tune. Closing his eyes and letting out a smooth, mildly annoyed sigh, Sasori opened his bored looking eyes and looked towards the blond's face. "I'm not your teacher anymore, Deidara. Nor am I a tutor. I helped before because you desperately needed it. You're in college now, fix your problems yourself. That's how the real world is."
Deidara expected an answer like that, so what did he do? He played it up, just like he had way back when…
"But… Mr. A—I mean Sasori, it's like I said before. When you teach, I understand it. Your style can't have changed that much in three years so I know that if I come to you I'll get it for sure. I won't be taking a gamble on you like I would hiring a tutor, un…"
Damn, Deidara so should've been in drama when he was in high school.
Sasori looked like he had a headache coming on. Yes, Deidara wasn't his responsibility anymore. Yes, he could easily turn him down with the cold harsh reality of life, but…what could he say? As much as Deidara annoyed him, Sasori liked him and he didn't want to see him fail. What could one tutoring session hurt, right? It wasn't like he did anything on Sundays, anyway.
"Fine, quit your blabbering. I'll give you one session, tomorrow at your home. What time would be best for you?" He asked, wondering what he was getting himself into.
Deidara's face lit up, inside he knew his actions had gone exactly according to his new master plan. "Six would be good! I can fix dinner then as thanks. Do you know where Sunset Ridge apartments are?"
Sasori nodded. In school he had had former acquaintances that lived there.
"Awesome, well my apartment number is 208. Here, let me write that down for you. I'll give you my number too, just in case you get lost, un." Inside Deidara's head he couldn't help but add, "Or want to get laid, just call me up."
Reaching into his pocket, Deidara pulled out his wallet and fished around in it, pulling out an old receipt before pulling out a pen from his other pocket. He always carried on in case of times like this when he needed to give out his number.
Quickly he jotted it down and handed the paper to Sasori, who neatly folded it in his pocket and nodded.
"Tomorrow at six, then," Sasori said, unsure how he felt about the other actually cooking something for him Could Deidara even cook? That was something he would have to avoid dwelling on between now and then.
Deidara smirked smoothly and nodded before speaking, "Six it is, I'll see you then, Sasori."
Figuring he was dismissed, Sasori nodded and turned, moving to the counter, paying for his books and leaving a bit more irritated then he had when he first came there. Tutoring former students was not high on his list of things to do.
Content he'd done all he possibly could for the day, Deidara waiting a bit for Sasori to leave so they wouldn't have that awkward, "I just said good bye to you but I'm going to see you every five seconds in this store for the next ten minutes" issue. Not only that, but Deidara wished to savor the delicious victory of managing to get Sasori into his home and in the three step plan, that was the biggest. First step, get Sasori to his home, second step, get him into the bedroom, third step, get him naked and fuck him senseless. There was an optional fourth step there, but Deidara didn't really want to take out the bondage gear so soon. After all, he didn't want to scare Sasori off.
But this was a damn good start to things…
Upon reaching his quaint apartment, Sasori moved to the kitchen table and promptly finished grading the three papers that he'd left undone, finding they had haunted him the entire time he was out. Content that everything was in order, Sasori settled himself on his couch, head tilted back onto the top of the couch. Was doing this really a good move? Yeah, he needed the karma points, but dealing with Deidara was never an easy thing to do.
Fishing around in his pocket, Sasori pulled out the receipt Deidara had written his apartment number and phone number on, glancing over the somewhat neat writing on it with a sigh. Curiosity, however, got the better of him and prompted him to turn the receipt over, eyes narrowing at what was written on it, unable to stop himself from reading the name of the first item on the list out loud.
"Naughty Sex Kittens Volume VIII DVD…" Sasori muttered, tossing the evident sex shop receipt onto his coffee table with a snort. There was more listed, but Sasori didn't want to know what Deidara was into. "He hasn't changed a bit," the redhead added, rubbing his temples and deciding to block out he information he'd just gained by reading one of the books he'd bought this after noon.
Ever unaware about what Deidara had written his information on, the blond threw himself onto the couch, grinning to himself and picking up the phone. He had to run his plan past his wingman, after all, and get the reassurance that it was foolproof.
The phone rang and rang for nearly two minutes before someone answered, though it wasn't at all what Deidara had been expecting.
"What the fuck do you want?" Hidan breathed into the phone, clearly busy on the other end with a muffled and irritated voice in the background saying, "I can't believe you fucking answered the damn phone."
Unphased, Deidara replied like he always did on the phone with Hidan while he was getting fucked, but then again he usually did.
"Exactly what you're getting now, but that's not important. I'll get it tomorrow. I got Sasori agree to come over tomorrow, un."
"You called me to-- ugh fuck right there," Hidan stopped, his breathing getting a little louder into the phone.
Deidara just rolled his eyes, listening to the steady pant and obnoxious moans that was Hidan.
"Guess it's good tonight, huh?" Deidara questioned, chuckling slightly when his friend moaned.
"I'll fucking call you back, ah! Fuck Kakuzu, are you a fuckin' pussy?! You can fuck me harder then that!" And with that, Hidan hung up, leaving Deidara rolling his eyes. There was a reason they stopped being fuck buddies and just remained friends for a reason.
Nearly two hours later, Hidan called Deidara back, the blond in the middle of another temple on his game. "Yeah?" He answered, balancing the phone on his shoulder.
"You've got some shitty ass timing, blondie, now what the fuck did you want?"
"I already told you but you weren't listening," Deidara said, eyes focused on the screen.
"You wouldn't listen either if you had the biggest cock ever being pressed right into your—"
"I get it Hidan, you were getting fucked by your med student and it was good,"
"Don't fucking cut me off, I was about to bless your fuckin' ears with the best fuckin' mental image on the entire fuckin' planet!"
"Mmhm," Deidara hummed, the sounds of the game being heard on the other end of the phone.
"You haven't put that fuckin' mind rot away have you?"
"Not really, un," Deidara said, smirking towards the TV before adding, "but that's beside the point. Point is, I got Sasori to agree to coming over tomorrow."
"Really? Is he coming for sex?" Hidan questioned, somewhat amazed that their stick-up-the-ass former chemistry teacher would agree to such a thing. This sounded way too good to be true.
"He is, he just doesn't know it yet. He thinks he's coming over to help me in my math class," Deidara elaborated, content that he would be able to seduce Sasori no matter what the situation was.
You could practically hear Hidan's eyes rolling. "So he's just fuckin' coming over to teach you shit? Damn you suck."
"Oh, but Hidan, I want an education," Deidara cooed, pausing the game so he could grab something to drink.
"The fuck you do. So how do you plan on getting teach into bed?"
Deidara had been waiting for Hidan to ask him that all night. "The plan is simple, take the word "education" put an "S" on the front and take out the "A", that's my plan for tomorrow."
There was a long pause on the other end, which was Hidan putting that phrase together.
"What the fuck, Deidara? Can't you just say you're gonna fuckin' seduce him?"
"Nope."
"How long did it take you to think that one up?"
"Bout' an hour, un."
Hidan just sighed and spoke once more, clearly bored of the conversation and rather tired from the night's events. "Whatever, fuck face. Good fucking luck tomorrow, you're gonna need it."
"Just don't call me when I'm doing him into the mattress, un," Deidara said, a smirk firmly planted on his features as he pulled out a soda.
"Fuck you fag." Click. And that was the end of that conversation for the night.
Deidara just grinned and set the phone back in it's cradle, sauntering back to his spot on the couch to resume a late night of one on one Zelda playing.
Tomorrow, the real fun would begin.
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AN: This chapter was almost doomed to be like, twenty pages long. I spared you the TL;DR and gave you this! I hope it's satisfactory, the next chapter will be even better, I can assure you! Reviews make my soul do fun back flips. So you should give me reviews, basically.