Is This Love

This Pain I Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Warning: Girls and emotions and getting closer and closer just to be pushed further away and then some. Love it.

Thanks:

Rune Traverse: Yo. Get some eye drops man. What's so wrong with Harry? I want Draco and Harry dolls! Don't ruin them. Gimme! Gimme! How do you know Ginny's good enough? Ya know… she could end up with Snape or something. How's that for a twist huh? Hehe. The pills. Well, you'll all find out. Sooner or later.

Kevin: Karma. Hah. Psh… you just like the angry sexual scenes. :)

I play the cello: Hey. I play the tenor sax. Go me. Happy dance! Dun dun dun…. Dun dun. Do the hustle. Yeah… Okay. Buh bye now.

Robin: …more? More! I've given you everything. And still, you insist I have more for you to take. Why don't you give me more? Huh? Huh? Huh? La la lala. La la lala. Mayo's world. I want ice cream. The last chapter just proves I can't stay away from angst. Gah…

SelenetheHunter: Isn't there some sort of saying about how the past repeats itself or something. Bleh. No skool be no good four me brain squiggly things. Oh… shiny. –wanders away-

Skittles: Ginny didn't have a right to prove her wrong. Poor Hermione. She's emotionally deaf but hey. I have a zit. Gahhhhh! I never get zits. I think I just cursed myself. Nooo. And. It's. Right. There. –tear- Mel says it makes me seem more human. Whatever that means. --

Thanks to all else who reviewed. I'm back to Senses Fail again. Muahaha!

000

I thought I wanted this.
I thought I wanted this.

(I'm here to say)
I said I wanted some more attention
I thought I wanted a story ending.

(I love the pain, I hate the pain)
I just give in.
(I love the pain, I hate the pain)

I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that I'm just scared to live
I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that the truth is I'm everything that I hate.

'Angela Baker And My Obsession With Fire' by Senses Fail

000

She stumbled numbly through the empty hall. The dizzying effect of alcohol making everything around her seem to spin. She bumped into something hard and grumbled slightly before letting a soft chuckle escape her. "Bloody walls. Always in the damn way."

"Nice evening?"

"I've had better." The words left her before she could even comprehend the question. Hermione stared at the figure. Her expression taking on a more than a hint of annoyance. The flittering image of men, women, boys and girls alike, trying to get her to take them to bed, flashed dangerously through her mind. The allure of flesh. The whispered promises of pleasure. None of them deemed worthy enough. She found them less appealing than they should have been. "Why do you care?"

A palm met the wall behind her. Effectively trapping her. Fingers trickled down the side of her face. "A fight isn't what I came for."

"I figured." She scoffed. "You're going to have to get your jollies elsewhere."

The figure smirked. "She's beautiful isn't she?"

Hazel eyes sharpened. Hermione pushed the figure back. Beginning to walk away. "She who."

"People talk Hermione." His eyes sparkled with mischief.

The brunette's hand slipped from the doorknob. The tint of intoxication, of liquid courage, began to fade from her cheeks. Her eyes darkened. She stared blankly at the door in front of her.

Walk away. Just walk away. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. She ignored the warning. "What do you want."

"Me?" She could feel his hand running up her arm. Brushing the hair from her neck. She could feel his breath ghosting along her ear. Winding around her neck and choking the will out of her. She shuddered. In disgust, in excitement. "Many things."

Walk away. Walk away. Walk away.

Hermione couldn't stop the panic in her brain. She couldn't listen to it. She couldn't escape. So, she stood there. Her key in her hand. Her dark eyes never leaving the door. Her body hard. Mind screaming in protest and heart throbbing in pain. She could feel her insides pleading for the bottle in her dresser drawer. Just behind the door. Calling to her. Telling her it would soothe. It would provide more relief than sex. It would wash away the pain and regret and leave her nice and numb. Ready for another day. It was a promise. The only promise she could count on.

"Control." He whispered menacingly. His lips brushing against her ear in the most intimate of ways. "You."

Her brows furrowed. No, she thought. Never. Never again. Not the low hum of seduction. The spitefully palatable touch. That was her game. She shrugged him off and shoved the key into the lock. "Fuck off."

"Red heads were never my style." She could feel his grin clearly through his voice. Could imagine his eyes sparkling for all their worth. "But she's such a lovely exception. Don't you think?"

She was half way through her door. She froze. Her body going rigid at the words.

000

Ginny sat gently on a nearby bench. She took another glance at her watch. Two o' clock sharp. She sighed. Harry would be late. Again. Her eyes took in the gentle scenery. She admired the endless hues of brown, gold, and orange. Winter would be setting in soon. The ginger haired prefect felt a tightening in the pit of her stomach. She missed home. She was looking forward to Christmas break. She sighed for the umpteenth time.

A silky voice broke her from her thoughts of home and presents and Christmas carols. "Waiting for someone?"

She expected to see a soft smile and emerald orbs staring into her. Instead, sapphire pools met dim gray. The handsome, yet unfamiliar, face stared down at her. He smiled charmingly and the voice in her head telling her he was bad news faded. She nodded, sending him an adorably timid smile in return.

"Mind if I take a seat?"

Ginny blushed. "Not at all."

Gray eyes took in the nervous flush of her cheeks. He smirking and offered a hand. "Draco Malfoy."

The name seemed familiar. "Ginny Weasley."

"Pretty. You're not… never mind." He chuckled softly.

Ginny's ears were turning red. "I'm not what?"

"It was stupid of me. I thought you were related to Ronald Weasley, but I settled against the notion. You seem a great less dense."

The red head giggled, despite the unintentional prod at her brother. "Actually, I am."

"No way." The charming blonde looked shocked. "Now I know here all the looks in the family went."

Ginny couldn't help herself. She giggled like a foolish child. What about Draco was making her so giddy?

"Hey Gin I-" Emerald eyes moved from Ginny's flushed cheeks to Draco's grin.

Draco stood. He ran a hand arrogantly through his blonde hair. A satisfied smirk growing on his lips. A small glint of triumph in his eyes. "Hello Potter."

"Malfoy." The raven-haired boy's hands went into his pockets. His green eyes took on a murderous gleam. Surprising Ginny. His lips twitched into a slight frown. Harry looked to the red head, holding out his hand to the girl. His eyes softened just a touch. "Ginny."

Ginny stood. Her downcast eyes glancing at Draco for the briefest of moments. A trill set off in the pit of her stomach when his cold eyes met hers. He winked. His smirk growing. The blonde's dim eyes met Harry's before the raven-haired boy brushed past him. His arm slung protectively around the girl's shoulders.

000

"Sod." The voice sounded familiar. "Off!"

Ginny wrapped a towel around herself and entered the locker room. The voices seemed close.

"So it's true." Another voice. Tinted with a foreign accent.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Then a shuffle. "Even if it is…"

Ginny hid at the end of the row of lockers. Watching. Hermione was sitting dejectedly on a bench and a woman. A woman with icy blonde hair and even colder eyes leaned heavily against a stack of lockers. The blonde woman nodded toward the small white pills in Hermione's open hand. "I'll… I'll send for more if you need them."

"What's the point of it all." The brunette shook her head slowly. As if it hurt to even move.

The blonde rubbed tiredly at the bridge of her nose. "You need more Hermione."

"You know what I need Fleur." Her shoulders straightened and she looked up at the blonde.

"Hermione…" The blonde twisted the ring around her finger. "Your father-"

"Screw him!" Her dark eyes seemed to penetrate the woman. Then her mouth twisted into a bitter smirk. "Oh, that's right. You are."

Fleur took a calming breath. Like she'd dealt with this before. Like the bitter words didn't seem to sting. "What did you expect from me Hermione? You were my patient."

"And that gives you the right to marry my father." The brunette was standing now. "That gives you the right to promise me a life that never existed. That gives you the right to shove me toward Draco. To let him make me believe everything you made me believe."

The blonde woman took a step toward Hermione. Ginny was stunned by the cold charm of this woman. "My cousin has a mind of his own. Lets not forget, Hermione, how I caught you and him fooling around. Don't pin the past on me."

"I saw you with my father." Hermione's voice was a drone.

Fleur took a dazed step backward before leaning casually against the locker. She opened her mouth to say something. Anything. But continued to stare at the brunette. She seemed to have to tear her gaze away. Icy blue eyes met sapphire and Ginny couldn't seem to look away from the pools of frozen flame. The red head's eyes flickered toward Hermione. The tears made Ginny's heart ache.

Hermione popped the long forgotten tablets into her mouth and wiped her tears on her sleeve. "Well Ginny, don't be a stranger. Come meet my step mother."

Ginny gulped. Realizing all she had was a towel. She stepped forward and moved to the locker next to Fleur, pulling the towel tighter around herself as she neared them. "You seem to really like my locker Hermione."

The brunette chuckled. She could feel the cold heat of Fleur's eyes on her.

Ginny's cheeks flamed red. If she didn't look at them they would leave. She fiddled with her lock. Trying to remember her combination. "I need to change."

"Nothing I haven't seen before." Hermione's low murmur was timed with the opening of Ginny's locker.

"What…" She could hear Fleur clear the sting from her throat. Her voice seemed colder than before. "I have to go now Hermione. Your father already made the arrangements with your friend's parents."

"Yes mother." A snicker.

There was a long pause. A few footsteps. "You need more sleep. And don't do anything too… strenuous."

"Doctors orders huh." Hermione's voice was closer. Ginny mentally cursed. Why didn't the brunette leave? Hermione propped her chin on Ginny's shoulder. The warmth of her breath caressing her bare skin. Hermione's arms going around her waist. Her fingers sliding into the towel, burning.

The red head bit her lip. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She had Harry now. Harry wanted her. Harry loved her. Hermione… she didn't know what Hermione wanted. She didn't know if Hermione was capable of love. If Hermione was even capable of letting herself love. But the coaxing fingers trickling down her stomach told her not to care. She swayed slightly. In a haze, contemplating. What to do? What to do next?

"I don't want this." Her voice was weak. Tinged with desire and agony.

"Oh but you do Ginny." Teeth tugged roughly at her earlobe. "Or do you prefer me pinned and moaning for you to stop?"

She turned to face the brunette. Rage written in the deep flush of her cheeks. "Fuck. You."

She leaned closer to the girl. Her body feeling like pure fire. Feeling like it'd burn right into the other girl's heart. She pressed Ginny's hand to her thigh. Pressed the soft fingers to the heat between her thighs. "Fuck me."

The red head bit her lip. Trying to resist the amber swirl of Hermione's eyes. Trying to resist the coaxing desire at her fingertips. The ache beneath her chest telling her to take what she could get. Her voice was a strained whisper. "Hermione…"

Hazel eyes darkened. She pressed a gentle kiss to Ginny's cheek and sighed. Her arms went around Ginny's waist. She placed her head on the red head's shoulder. There was some strange quality to her voice that Ginny couldn't quite comprehend. "I wish I could give you what you wanted."

Before Ginny could question the girl, Hermione pulled away. She started toward the exit and said one final statement before leaving Ginny in complete and utter confusion.

"If your mother makes ginger bread cookies as well as Ron says she does, I'm really looking forward to Christmas Break."

000

"I'll meet you on the train." Ron sprinted back to the castle. He'd forgotten the presents.

Ginny shook her head. After the little episode with Hermione she'd had a long chat with Ron. Apparently, Hermione was going to spend the duration of the holiday with them. She sighed. Three weeks with one very tempting Hermione Granger. She was really in for it.

"I wish I could give you what you wanted."

The more she thought about what happened in the locker room, the more confused she became. What was Hermione playing at? Ginny had Harry now. Hermione wasn't supposed to matter anymore. Not her piercing eyes. Not her burning touch. Not her silky lips. Not the way she made Ginny feel like mush one minute and then fire the next.

She boarded the train. Taking one final glance at Hogwarts and wonder just what Harry was doing right that moment. She told herself she'd miss him. That she'd right everyday. But the unsettling tingle reverberating throughout her body told her she would leave him behind with Hogwarts if it meant winter nights and Hermione making her burn.

She made her way to the compartment she'd be sharing with Ron and Hermione and sighed heavily before sliding open the door. She looked up and her jaw nearly dropped. Her eyes were as wide as saucers.

No… No. No, no, no, no, no!

"Hello Ginny." Hermione drawled out viciously.

000

Author's Note:

Muahahahaha! Until next chapta suckkas! It's really fuckin' hot. Gah… I hate this weather. When's it gonna be winter. I like rain. Hate sun. Boo.

-Emokid-

P.S. Thank you Zelz Saihitei for pointing out my little misprint there. :)