Is This Love
Feeling Dumb
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Warning: Mature themes.
Thanks:
Cutepuplover: I am of the female gender. I like women. She doesn't matter. Well, she does but eh… yeah. I'm still young so it's all good.
Trisagain: True that. No need to be sorry. Thank you anyway though.
RozenKristall: Eh. Harry is kind of a dick in this story I think. Well, he's worse in Peccavi so I can't really complain.
TexasWatermelon: Well, we will just have to see where that little conversation between the two of them gets us now won't we. It's driving you nuts? Ah! I'm the one who has to write it. Do you know how bad I just want to magically make them get together? Well… its AU so there really isn't any magic huh.
ChrisGranger: Yep. Totally back from the dead and probably going to end soon!
Sora-Hikari: I tried glue already. I get close to her and everything I've tried to stick it back together just melts away.
Cayenne: I don't know about peace and happiness. I'm not very well known for my stories ending happily. :)
Arienette: I've recently read a few of my old stories as well and all I have to say is… "What the Fuh?" Haha. It was interesting.
J: Never have I gotten a marriage proposal because of my writing. Cooking yes. Writing no.
DarkLove: I like her character too. It's sexy.
Fairvolk: Oh boy, I absolutely LOVE getting my way. It is a very nice plot. But Ginny is different to Hermione. Or is she? Oooo I know I know! A gay man!
And special thanks to everyone else who read and reviewed.
000
I will dig a hole and label it love,
And trick her to fall in from above.
Strategically placed at the front door,
I'll coax her to come back to get more.
'Homewrecker' by Hellogoodbye
000
Ron was sitting at the kitchen table having a nice cup of hot cocoa when it happened. Relaxing and letting thoughts of his conversation with Hermione consume his troubled mind. And then, there came a loud banging noise. The red headed man had looked up, startled, just in time to see a flurry of wavy brown hair heading for the staircase. He followed.
"Hermione?" Once he'd caught up to the brunette, he turned her around to face him.
Shocked by her distraught, tear streaked face he let his hand slip away from her. At the look of pure, unyielding pain in her cloudy hazel eyes he took a surprised step away from her. "What in the bloody hell happened Hermione?! Tell me! If anyone hurt you I'll… I'll kill him!"
He hadn't seen Hermione cry like that since what happened with Harry. A pang of bitterness sounded, hollow, in his heart. Hermione just stared at him. Her sad eyes breaking him down. The tremble of her lips setting his nerves on fire. Ron had expected Hermione to turn away from him, to lash out at him, to run away and pretend he'd never seen her so vulnerable. But what the red headed man didn't expect was for his best friend to burry her face in his chest and let her painful sobs send his world crumbling and his comforting arms around her shaky frame.
"Tell me why Ron." She sniffled. Her voice trembling.
At a loss, he pressed his lips to the top of her head and whispered softly into her hair. "What do you mean 'Mione? Why what?"
"Why does it hurt?"
"What hu-" Ron was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps and the loud, frantic voices of Ginny and Harry.
The brunette tensed in his arms. She struggled easily out of his grasp and stared up at him. The pain, once so apparent across her distressed features, was gone. In its place was a cold, tear streaked mask of indifference. She was heartless again. It scared Ron. How she could so effortlessly slide into that cruel, unfeeling charade of hers. It scared him because sometimes… sometimes he just couldn't tell the difference between the real and the fake anymore.
Hermione swiped carelessly at the streaks under her eyes. She looked away from Ron for the briefest of moments and when her eyes danced upon his once again they held that deadly gleam he knew so well.
When Ginny reached the top of the stairs, Hermione was Hermione again and Ron mentally shuddered. The brunette didn't look at Ginny when she spoke. "I'm leaving."
Ron merely nodded. "When?"
"Tonight. I have to pack. Will you call Fleur?"
"…Tonight?" There was a weakness in Ginny's voice. A hope. Pure devastation.
Hermione simply ignored the girl. Instead, she arched an inquisitive eyebrow at Ron who nodded in response. He would call Fleur. He would not stop Hermione from leaving. He spared an apologetic glance at Ginny and noticed the tall raven haired figure looming behind her, glaring. Ron could see the lethal intention in his other best friend's emerald eyes. It was then that he noticed Harry's bloodstained shirt and bruised face. It was then that Ron knew. Hermione was in love with Ginny.
And so was Harry.
000
"Hermione."
No response. Not so much as a pause in the brunette's step.
"Hermione, please."
Ginny called after the older girl, following her down the long hall, and leaving her brother and Harry to watch. Hermione was going to leave that night and the thought sent a tremor of loneliness into the pit of her stomach.
"Will you just listen a sodding-"
The brunette stopped abruptly in the middle of Ginny's room and whirled around. Her dark eyes gleaming with distaste, her voice dripping with bitter annoyance. "What."
The red head's heart seemed to falter in rhythm, seemed to skip an entire elongated beat. Their faces were centimeters apart. She licked her lips. Hermione wasn't supposed to be so close. This wasn't supposed to happen. Ginny was supposed to be in control. Harry wasn't supposed to kiss her like he did, touch her like he did. And Hermione… why had Hermione hit him? Was Hermione jealous?
The red head suppressed a shiver. She could feel the heat of Hermione's body making her skin prickle. Making it all that much harder to sift through the thoughts storming all around her head. She tried to calm her shallow breathing.
"I'm… I want…" Her head was foggy. Too foggy. The air was too thick. Too thin. Too much and too little. Ginny didn't know. She'd lost all capacity for coherent thought. All she could comprehend, all she could want to think, was Hermione.
"What." The brunette frowned. "I won't say it again."
"I don't… I don't know." Ginny looked away. Dejected. She couldn't say what'd been on the very tip of her tongue. No. Not while Hermione was staring at her like that.
Hermione shook her head. Her rigid stance slightly wavering. Their eyes locked. "I told you Ginny. I wish I could give you what you wanted."
Sapphire eyes sparked almost violently with the memory. Hermione wished she could give her what she wanted? What did Ginny want? Did she want Harry and his rough coaxing lips, his strong hands and fumbling fingers? Did she want the lure of Hermione's tongue running smooth against her skin and the heavy confusion of emotions tearing her apart?
The red head glared, she was sure Hermione was mocking her in some way. She was sure that dimming flare in the brunette's hazel eyes was just a trick. Some new ploy to fool her. She wouldn't be made a fool again. She wouldn't.
Ginny's cheeks flushed red with rage. "What, exactly, is that supposed to mean Hermione?!"
"It means this," The word was timed with a step closer, with Hermione's hand slipping underneath Ginny's shirt, pushing the red head hard against the door. The older woman bit at Ginny's lower lip, her tongue running temptingly against the throbbing flesh. She nuzzled into the red head's soft skin, her hot breath finding Ginny's ear. "Is all I have."
"This," She tugged at the younger woman's earlobe, her hand creeping higher up. "Is all I can… all I will give you."
"And this," Hermione cupped Ginny's breast. She nipped roughly at the tender flesh of the red head's neck. "This isn't what you want."
Hermione ran her thumb against a nipple, delighting in the small whimper emitting from Ginny's throat where she soon found her lips. Hermione rasped out the seed of her fears in the most desire-ridden tone Ginny had ever heard. "This isn't love."
And then, the hazel-eyed woman backed away. Leaving Ginny in a heavy mist of want and uncertainty and frustration. Through her daze she faintly realized her palms pressing hard against Hermione's shoulders. Her body pinning the brunette to the wall. Her mouth pressed hard and leading a furious attack against Hermione's.
Ginny didn't even flinch when her back hit the wall with a loud thud. Not when Hermione's tongue was just beginning the prelude to what was sure to come. The red head was barely aware of Hermione's hand fiddling with the drawstrings of her sweatpants. Barely aware of her own hands tugging at the hem of Hermione's shirt or her mouth leaving vicious marks against the brunette's bare shoulder.
This was what she wanted. Ginny thought. It might not be love but it was something. Something that she couldn't understand, something maddeningly delectable. So hot and unbearable one moment and then so excruciatingly cold the next. It might not be love. But it was something she knew she wanted.
The red head's furious attacks of passion became softer. Hard, sharp nibbles at Hermione's neck turned into lips and silk and warmth. The pressing hands roaming the older girl's body stopped at her waist. Fingers, previously frantic and searching, trailed light swirls up the small of her back.
The realization hit Hermione hard. That mouth against hers should be all pressure and heat and lust. It scared her. It scared the shit out of her. It wasn't what Hermione had expected. Ginny should have stormed off in a bad mood. She shouldn't have kissed Hermione like that. The red head shouldn't have had that affect. It shouldn't have felt like prickling needles against her skin every time they touched. No. That wasn't how things were supposed to go. Most of all… Hermione shouldn't be kissing Ginny back. At least, not like she wanted it. Not like she wanted Ginny to kiss her the way she was. Not at all. But she did. She couldn't stop. And it scared the shit out of her.
"Ginny?"
The voice startled Hermione. She didn't know how long they'd been like that. Or how Ginny had ended up half sitting on the dresser with her hands running through tousled brown hair. Or why Hermione's arms were around the younger girl's waist. Trying to pull her closer than physically possible.
All she knew was, in the next moment, she was standing alone with the sound of Ron's questioning voice coming from behind the door. The sound of an echoing click and retreating footsteps ringing harshly in her ears. That look of something strange in Ginny's striking eyes. And the moving lips spouting words she didn't remember. Soft pink lips taunting her with words she couldn't hear through the deaf pounding of blood in her ears. Whispered words playing on repeat.
Her eyes widened before snapping shut in a bout of unsuspected pain. Her fingers clutched at the disheveled fabric jacketing the barrier of skin that covered that damned beating wreck of a heart. She whimpered at the coarse jolting throb and remembered the words left by Ginny's taunting, kiss bruised lips.
"You don't know what I want Hermione."
000
Author's Note:
I know it's not very long but it's all I've had time for. Hope you enjoyed.
-Emokid-
(The dork that stole your heart and ripped it to pretty little shreds)