Team Psycho Emerges!

As Naruto got out of bed, the first thing he noticed was the smell of… waffles. The second thing he noticed was that Anko was currently wearing purple sweatpants and a semi-baggy t-shirt. Vaguely wondering why she'd gotten up so early, Naruto shrugged it off, had the symbiote cover him in fairly good clothing, and simply prepared for breakfast.

As he got a plate and a fork, Naruto asked, "You seem to be in a good mood today, Anko-neechan. What's going on?"

Looking up from her waffles, Anko swallowed and asked, "What makes you think I'm in a good mood?"

His eyebrow raised, Naruto virtually deadpanned as he told her, "Anko-neechan… you made waffles today. You never make waffles unless you're in a good mood."

Anko just shrugged as she muttered, "Eh… true enough. At any rate, you're graduating from the Academy, I have a Genin team to test, and I'm just feeling… so goddamn jazzed today. It's kind of freaking me out, to be honest."

Laughing along with her, Naruto thought back to the first time he'd met Anko.

(Flashback!)

(Two years ago)

Standing before the Council, Naruto asked, "Why am I here again?"

A councilwoman named Karen Page kindly said, "Naruto-san, last week we passed a law stating that all children under the age of fifteen without a legal guardian must go into foster care or an orphanage. It has come to my attention that neither of the orphanages in Hidden Leaf care to have you under their roof, and sadly, I haven't been able to find anyone who would willingly take care of you as you deserve."

As the Hokage knew, Karen Page was one of the few council members who were open-minded enough to realize that Naruto wasn't the Nine-Tailed Fox. Of course, he wasn't exactly human either—not that anyone aside from Yakumo and the Sandaime knew about that, however….

Another council member, this time one of Naruto's political enemies (so to speak) said, "So, with Sandaime-sama's permission, I have arranged for your care to be considered as a mission. It's far from perfect, but in essence, we will basically pay someone to take care of you. We have also decided who will be your caretaker."

Karen looked up, surprised. "But Councilor Matsumoto, I thought we were still in deliberation about that."

Sneering, Matsumoto stated, "Oh, we voted and approved the measure—you were sick that day, I believe."

Turning back to Naruto, his eyes took a rather unpleasant gleam as he said, "She will be here in just a couple of minutes. Her name is Anko Mitarashi, by the way."

Her eyes widening in horror, Karen threw her face in her hands; she had wanted Naruto to be taken care of, certainly—but Anko! Why not someone sensible, like Kurenai?

The meeting adjourned, Naruto just went outside and sat on the curb, waiting for this Anko to show up. It was starting to rain.

A few minutes later, a purple-haired woman walked up to him and asked, "Are you Naruto Uzumaki?"

Looking up, Naruto decided that she had a fairly attractive figure—or he would have, if he were a few years older. She wore a brown trench coat with a hood raised, with a fishnet shirt and a mini-skirt. He replied, "Yeah. I'm Naruto. Are you Anko?"

Nodding, Anko opened an umbrella and held out her hand. "Get up kid. Unless you prefer to sit out in the rain?"

Smiling, but not with his eyes, Naruto took her hand and stood up, taking temporary residence under the umbrella.

On the way to her apartment, they didn't talk much—Anko merely told him that they'd discuss it inside.

Her abode was on the fourth floor of the complex, and in fact, the only inhabited residence ON that floor. Taking off her shoes, hanging up her coat, and tossing her umbrella into the corner, Anko suddenly noticed that Naruto's clothes were completely dry. Deciding to ask about it later, Anko sprawled on the couch, while Naruto seated himself in a chair.

To break the rather awkward silence, Naruto asked, "So what's your story? That nice woman on the council seemed kind of upset that you were picked for this."

Shrugging, Anko said, "Well, my sensei, Orochimaru, is one of the most infamous traitors known to the Leaf, I mostly fight like he did, seeing as how no one's been willing to teach me since, and I basically inherited his ability to enjoy other people's pain at times. Aside from that, I don't have the ghost of a clue."

Nodding in a way that reminded her of an old man, Naruto said, "I see. That explains a lot."

Slightly raising her eyebrow, Anko asked, "So what's your story, kid? Why the hell am I of all people being paid to take care of you?"

Naruto said, "Well, it all started about ten years ago when the Fourth Hokage sealed the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon into my body almost immediately after my birth. The Third Hokage was an idiot and told the older generation about it, and they've hated me ever since—with a few notable exceptions, of course. About a couple of years ago, I was almost killed by a couple of dumb thugs in an alley. People knew, but no one bothered to help. That was when I found the Symbiote—an alien life-form that survives by bonding with a host organism… in this case, me. Once we bonded, I was overcome in a fit of rage and killed all three of those idiots. The symbiote keeps me alive, and I do the same. However, I have to take the lives of other people to keep from losing my own. Since that night, I've killed at least seventy-five criminals—I try to keep my… diet from including people who've done nothing wrong. Aside from all that, I haven't the ghost of a clue."

Nodding to herself, Anko simply muttered, "Hrm."

After a few minutes, she asked, "So again: why do you think they paired us up specifically?"

Naruto, who was sitting sideways in his chair and subsequently leaning over the side, raised his head and told her,: "Meh. They probably expect us to go crazy and kill each other or something."

Straightening up, Anko asked, "Well I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to live if given the chance, so how do you suggest we get past this?"

Grinning deviously, Naruto said, "I say we keep each other alive, just to piss 'em off."

Suddenly matching his grin, Anko said, "Kid, I like the way you think. I believe this is going to work just fine."

(End Flashback!)

Since that day, Naruto and Anko had virtually taken to each other like fish to water. They thought of each other as siblings, and occasionally, Anko would even let Naruto sneak out on missions with her.

Between the two of them, about sixty bandits died that week. (Naruto/Carnage hadn't fed for a couple of months, so Anko let him get most of the kills.)

But the thing Naruto liked best about life with Anko was that she didn't tease him about Yakumo. The most she'd do was to make a little joke every now and then or put on a knowing smile, but other than that, she left him alone.

Naruto asked, "So you get to torture a Genin team today, huh? Who's on it?"

Anko shrugged and said, "Don't know yet. All I know is that I'm supposed to give the survival test for Team 6."

Getting into a pose like the famous statue of 'The Thinker', Naruto asked, "But what if I'm on Team 6?"

Anko blinked for a moment, and then shrugged as she said, "Then you get to help me torture the other two, in that case. But seeing as we're pretty much family, I don't think that'll happen."

Nodding, Naruto just dug in to his waffles before heading 'changing' into a set of clothes suitable for outside wear: black cargo pants, shinobi tabi and sandals, a blood-red t-shirt, and a black flak jacket.

He knew it looked somewhat like Jonin attire, but Naruto didn't care. It looked badass, and he was badass. To him, it was fairly simple math.

Stepping outside the door, Naruto leapt to rooftop level and stuck to a wall, using it as a springboard for added propulsion.

Using his immense strength and agility, Naruto rocketed towards the Kurama residence, so he could go the rest of the way with Yakumo. Originally, she had been privately tutored and hadn't gone to the Academy, because her body was rather frail. She wasn't able to walk unaided for more than a few minutes before running out of breath, but in her eyes there burned a flame of determination that blazed so brightly, none could rival it save Naruto himself.

Although his adrenaline high would have normally rendered him intolerable for most of the day, Yakumo was one of the only three people who could easily calm him down.

Just like every other day, Yakumo was walking down the street as Naruto landed RIGHT next to her from a particularly wild jump. Landing solidly on his feet, Naruto walked alongside his friend and absentmindedly brushed himself off.

"So, how'd you sleep last night?"

Knowing exactly what he meant, Yakumo said, "Just as soundly as ever. My dreams were peaceful, and nobody died."

Nodding to himself, Naruto said, "That's always good to hear."

Then he suggested, "Guess what happened to me this morning."

"Hrm… I don't know—what happened to you this morning?"

"Anko-neechan made waffles today."

Nearly as familiar with the Snake Jonin's habits as Naruto was, all Yakumo could say was: "Wow. She's in a good mood."

Nodding, Naruto surreptitiously looked at Yakumo's attire; over the years, he could gauge Anko's mood by what she made for breakfast, and Yakumo's by what she wore.

Her sky-blue yukata indicated the carefree attitude she'd woken up with, while her bright red scarf revealed that absolutely nothing could ruin her day—she'd kill people with a dreamy smile, it came down to it.

They made small talk to pass the time while continuing the trek to the Academy.

Once in the classroom, they simply picked seats (next to each other, of course). For some reason, the concept of assigned seats had never occurred to their teacher.

Naruto proceeded to zone out until Iruka-sensei showed up; Yakumo silently mused about how Naruto really was a creature of habit.

Seeing as how the tests had all run their course the day before, the only people present were the ones who'd graduated. Not bothering to tune in for Iruka's lecture, Naruto simply continued to zone out until he heard an announcement.

"Because there is an uneven number of graduates this year, two of you will be on a team with someone who's already graduated. That will be you two, Naruto, Yakumo. You can go ahead and wait outside. You and Keith Dillon will be on Team 6; your sensei is Anko Mitarashi."

Naruto practically bugged out for a moment, hearing that his Neechan was going to be his sensei, before shrugging it off and getting ready for one hell of a day. Yakumo, also a bit wierded out, wondered if she should start worrying.

Shrugging, the pair left the room (and subsequently, the building) to wait.

After a couple of minutes, a fifteen year-old with blonde hair, brown eyes, and one hell of a bad attitude walked up and asked, "You guys Team 6? My name's Keith Dillon, your teammate."

No sooner than he'd spoken had Anko poofed into existence right behind him. "All right you three, since you're on my team, we're going to do some introductions. Excluding you, Keith, we already know each other, so on our part, it's mostly for your benefit. I'll go first.

"My name is Anko Mitarashi, and while on duty you will refer to me as Sensei, got it? I like dumplings, my foster brother Naruto-kun, and killing people on missions. I fucking hate ninety percent of the people in this Village, and the feeling's mutual. I also hate when people do things half-assed, since that'll get you killed on a mission. My hobbies include hanging out, killing people on missions, and freaking people out otherwise. I'm going to kill that bastard of a sensei Orochimaru, and then… I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Naruto-kun, you're next."

With a devilish glint in his eye, Naruto said, "Well, where to start? I suppose it all began thirteen years ago, when the Fourth Hokage sealed the Nine-Tailed Fox into my body. I became a Village pariah when the Third Hokage decided to be an idiot by telling the older generation about said Nine-Tailed Fox. Numerous attempts have been made to kill me, and four years ago, a trio of teenaged thugs nearly succeeded. However, I managed to kill those bastards and have since slept soundly every night. Anyway, I like ramen, my friend Yakumo-chan, my Anko-neechan, and I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I hate assholes, bastards, and jerks of all kinds. My dream is to become Hokage and have a hell of a time while I'm at it."

Nodding, Anko pointed to Yakumo and said, "You're up."

"My name is Yakumo Kurama. I'm a Genjutsu specialist, and I hate being manipulated by anyone. I like tea, sushi, Naruto-kun, and meeting my goals. I guess I've already accomplished my dream of being a shinobi; so my new dream is to become the best Genjutsu user in the Village."

Taking it upon himself to start, Keith said, "My name is Keith Dillon. I graduated from the Academy three years ago, and was placed on a team with two of my best friends under a person whom I loved like a mother. On a mission eighteen months ago, we encountered opposition from Rain shinobi. I'm the only one who made it out in good enough condition to keep going on missions. That bastard killed my teammates and put Emiko-sensei in a coma—I swear I won't rest until I kill him in the most painful way imaginable. Aoi Rakusho… I will see him in pieces if it's the last thing I do. After that—if there even IS an after—I guess I'll have to move on."

Shaking himself from his dark thoughts, Keith continued, "I like rock music, metal, and pizza; I hate anyone who thinks I'm weak just because I don't come from a major clan and I have a foreign name; and people who piss me off seem to have a strange habit of winding up in the hospital shortly afterwards. I specialize in Lightning-Style jutsu."

Nodding, Anko smiled and said, "Normally, I'm supposed to give you a survival test now, to see if you're actually worth becoming Genin. However, Keith would go ahead and tell you that the major purpose of it is teamwork, and I'm fairly certain you'd make a pretty lethal team. So instead, I'll just pass you right now—but I want to see just where you three stand. So we're going to have a little spar: you three, one-on-one, against me. You probably won't actually win, but we should at least know what each other can do."

Yakumo wanted to go ahead and get her test out of the way, but first she said, "I forgot to say this earlier, but I have a disease that prevents me from being very active physically. My Genjutsu is pretty much the only reason I actually could become a shinobi in the first place. That said, I'm ready."

Nodding again, Anko suddenly began making hand-signs in an attempt to counter Yakumo's Genjutsu. Realizing that it had started on eye contact, Anko also realized that Yakumo was invading all five senses. The outlines of various shapes were becoming a little blurry, and Yakumo's voice had a strange ring to it as she said, "You legs are like lead… you're becoming tired… you eyes, they grow weary…"

Anko could actually feel the incantations beginning to take their toll, so she switched to a different set of handsigns before shouting, "Fire-Style: Fireball Jutsu!" The stream of fire that erupted from her mouth threatened to engulf the girl whole, but a shield of water suddenly appeared and absorbed the brunt of the attack.

To avoid the rest of it, Yakumo had leapt out the way, spraining her ankle in the process. "Damn it… I should've been more careful!"

"Don't worry about it—you did what you could with what you had available."

Naruto stepped up next and said, "Okay then—let's try not to kill each other, eh?"

Grinning in a manner borderline psychotic, Anko replied, "Fair enough kid—Hidden Shadow Snake Hands!"

A number of snakes erupted from her sleeves and raced towards Naruto, who leaped out of the way and threw a spread of shuriken at them, since he was trying to hide the symbiote. Anko then started spewing fireballs at him, and even with Spider-sense, Naruto was hard pressed to dodge. He hadn't told Anko about the symbiote's vulnerability to fire yet.

Continuing his evasive maneuvers, Naruto had a flash of inspiration as he discreetly formed a symbiote-kunai before making sure it looked like a regular kunai as he threw it into the oncoming blaze.

The effect was instantaneous—it was almost like throwing a can of gasoline into the path of a flamethrower: the ultra-flammable symbiote substance caused the fireball to explode, creating an even bigger blast, but it stopped moving forward, and that had been the goal.

As he landed on the ground, Anko said, "Okay, good enough for now. Keith, you're up."

Nodding, he cracked his knuckles and said, "Bring it, sensei!"

Once more grinning psychotically, Anko cried out, "Fire-Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!"

As the barrage of burning projectiles hurtled towards the teen ninja, he made three handsigns and shocked all three of his comrades—figuratively, in this case.

Holding his hands to the fire, electricity began emanating from his fingertips as he yelled, "Ninja Art: Spark Shield!" The sparks started to coalesce into a barrier that intercepted and stopped the assault.

Then, he leapt into the air and called out another jutsu: "Lightning-Style: Divine Onslaught!"

A massive electrical blast-wave went screaming through the air, and could have severely injured Anko if not for her Earth-Style: Rock Wall counter-defense.

As he landed on the balls of his feet, Keith panted heavily and muttered, "Never used those two so close together before…. I didn't think it would be such a drain…"

Also panting slightly; her wall hadn't fallen to the attack, as she had tried to sustain it with her chakra—but damn, that was pretty good for a Genin.

Quickly consuming a chakra pill, Anko said, "All right you three, you were fairly good individually. As a team, you might even stand a chance against me if I went all-out. Normally, we'd go on a bunch of D-Ranked missions to promote teamwork, but instead, we'll just work on that here. In the meantime, I'll show you the first exercise for chakra control—tree walking."

To illustrate, Anko focused chakra into her feet, before walking straight up the nearest tree without a care in the world. Keith said, "Anko-sensei, I can already do this."

Sitting on a tree branch, Anko simply replied, "Then you can save me the trouble of explaining and do it yourself, can't you?"

Sighing, Keith turned to his teammates and said, "Okay you two—you just have to focus chakra into your feet so you can stick to the tree. Too little, and you won't stick. Too much, and you'll fly off."

Naruto said, "I see…" and headed for the tree and walked up it.

He kept walking until he was all the way at the top, and then walked back down to find all three staring at him.

"What?"

Keith said, "Naruto… you didn't even focus your chakra at all."

Naruto shrugged and said, "I can't help it! If I want to stick to something, I stick to it automatically. I want to stick to the tree when I climb it, so I stick to it without chakra."

Keith sighed and said, "But Naruto, it doesn't work that way. You have to use chakra to get better."

"But I want to climb up the tree! Are you saying I should try to climb it… and want to NOT stick to it?! But that's stupid!"

Shaking her head, Anko decided that Naruto would simply have to do without.

While they were arguing, Yakumo had been trying the exercise herself, and had made it about halfway up. After another couple of minutes, Keith shouted, "Okay then! I was trying to help, that's all."

Then, in a sing-song kind of tone, Yakumo asked, "If you boys are done arguing down there, I'd like to know what we're doing next!"

When they looked up, they found her sitting on a branch much like Anko had done, swinging her legs.

Anko sighed and said, "Okay you three, that's all for today. In fact, I think we should try and get to know each other a bit better before I start teaching you anything. Teamwork and mutual trust are just as important on the battlefield as combat ability. Who wants to see a movie?"

Yakumo dropped from her perch, but underestimated the distance—only for Naruto to catch her in his arms. "My my my, this seems familiar, doesn't it? It's almost like you keep saving me from certain or probable death, Naru-kun."

Smirking, Naruto replied, "Indeed, 'Kumo-chan. I hope this doesn't become a habit."

"Me getting in trouble, or you saving me?"

As Naruto sat her down, they both laughed as Naruto answered, "I meant the first—no problems with the second, though."

Keith, bringing them back on topic, asked, "I don't know, that depends on the movie."

"I was going to let you three decide."

Remembering that it was the twentieth anniversary of the original Alien movie coming to theatres—The Konoha Cinema was having a special event that week—Naruto suggested it.

Keith said, "Alien? That was a good movie I wouldn't mind seeing again."

Anko hadn't seen it yet, and Yakumo had read reviews but not actually seen it.

If anyone thinks that I did a bad job with this chapter, I'll probably agree with you. I just couldn't really get enthusiastic about this one, and it was mostly filler anyway. The only major important parts were introducing Keith and getting the team formation over with. Oh, and there was a point to Naruto being unable to complete the basic chakra control exercise. Kudos to anyone who can guess later ramifications of this. Dirty Reid, you don't count, since I told you ages ago.