NiNjA NONSENSE

by lunarxshinobi

Sasuke is king of the chickens, Naruto's best friend is a desk, and the aktsutaki love to dance. Nothing is what it seems to be, and just cause it's not possible doesn't mean it won't happen.

15. Lunar still isn't back

NINJA NONSENSE

Chapter 15

Still No Lunar...

Angel: Lunar still hasn't come back.

Sasuke: I bet she's afraid.

Angel: You are trying to kill her.

Sasuke: and?

Angel: Most people to get cared when people try to kill them.

Naruto: They do.

Sasuke: hn.

Naruto: What are we going to do now?

Angel: I dunno. I guess I'll show you more stuff proving Lunar is nuts.

Naruto: We already know that.

Angel: As in psycho needs to be put in a nut house nuts.

Naruto: oh. yeah.

Sasuke: Great. I'll be taking a sadistic nutcase off the streets.

Angel: ... um. That's what the cage is for.

Sasuke: that works?

Angel: When we remember to lock it.

Naruto:...

Angel: Where's Kakashi?

Kakashi: Right here.

Angel: Disclaimer Segment, please.

Kakashi: CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT.

-Disclaimer Segment-

Marik: Do you want to be a good psycho?

Bakura: or do you just want to cause general chaos?

Marik: Do you really, REALLY want to send your hikari to the nearest nut house?

Bakura: Then you need to come to 'Bakura and Marik's psycho school by TheRichNobody

Marik:You'll learn everything you need to know about being a psycho

Bakura: Like, how to break out of jail!

Marik: How to steal massive amounts of money from rich jerks,

Bakura: How to ruin school assemblies,

Marik: How to annoy people,

Bakura: How to make your hikari believe that THEY are the crazy ones,

Marik: and much, much, much more!

Bakura: So if you think that someone getting hit by a bus is hilarious.

Marik: Or if you've been visited by the men in white so much that you're on a first name basis with them,

Bakura: Bob and Joe are great,

Marik: Yes they are.

Bakura: or if you enjoy blowing up small animals,

Marik: or blowing up other people,

Bakura: or if you laugh when people scream,

Marik: Or if you enjoy torturing people,

Bakura: I love torturing people,

Marik: me too.

Bakura: What's your favorite type of torture?

Marik: I like psychological torture.

Bakura: Really? I prefer physical torture.

Marik: It's funny either way

Bakura: Yeah.

Marik: or if you're just looking to improve your psychoness,

Bakura: Then you need to come to 'Bakura and Marik's School for Pyscho's by TheRichNobody!

Marik: We'll see you there!

Kakashi: Lunar does own:

Naruto,

Yugioh,

Bakura and Marik's School for pyscho's by TheRichNobody.

-End Disclaimer Segment-

Sasuke: Is it just me, or do you two advertise for other authors/authoresses, a lot.

Angel: We do.

Sasuke: Why?

Angel: Why not?

Sasuke: Because you want people to pay attention to your fanfic.

Angel: I want people to pay attention to my favorite fanfic writers too.

Sasuke: You shouldn't.

Angel: you're mean.

Sasuke: From now on, you shouldn't advertise other fanfic writers.

Angel: Why not.

Sasuke: because I said so.

Angel: ... Everyone should read stories by:

Macakatori,

Ecolianddahchihuahua,

Kit-Pocket,

TheRichNobody,

Lone Konouchi,

BlueEyedFun,

Sharingan Princess,

Determined,

Mmasha,

BlindFoxx15,

Rae Crawford,

Axenator,

Numina Namine,

RidiculouslyInsane,

Sarsaparilla,

Akkadia,

Musician in the Making,

Sakura3109,

hanakitsunechan7,

Sy Druid,

um, I can't remember any more... There's so many...

Sasuke: You did that just to annoy me. Didn't you.

Angel: yes.

Sasuke:-glares-

Itachi: I don't think I like some of these people.

Naruto: Why.

Itachi: well, some of the wrote Know Your Stars, and included me.

Naruto: who.

Itachi: I know Ecolianddahchihuahua and Sharingan Princess wrote KYS fanfics, but I can't remember if they included me or not.

Angel: OMG don't even pretend like you hate Ecolianddahchihuahua or Sharingan Princess! THEY'RE AWESOME.

Itachi: THEY MOCKED MY SMEXY UCHIHA COOLNESS!

Sasuke: ME TOO!

Angel: That, is so a lame reason.

Itachi: meh.

Angel: I think I'll write a sub-chap about what happened when Lunar first met the aktsutaki (Sp?)

Itachi: I. Hate. You.

Angel: I know.

slashslashslashslashBOINGslashslashslashslashBOINGslashslash

Lunar, the Great Authoress, was bored out of her wits. So, she decided to pay a visit to the aktsutaki. After all, it was such a day, why not visit a group of blood thirsty killers?

Itachi's POV

Itachi had been happily painting his nails a gorgeous shade of Fluff Puff purplse when a knocking sound caused him to get a binty molecule of nail polish on his cuticle.

'Ugh. Who dares disturb me im my moment of fluffy puffy purplely happines?!' He thought angrily. He opened the door and then slammed it shut.

"We're not buying anything." He informed the girl who had been standing outside the door.

"I'm not selling anything." She replied. He opened the door.

"Then why are you here?" Itachi demanded.

"I dunno. I guess I'm just here to visit!" She giggled.

" A visitor? Let her in, un!" Kisame popped up from wherever he was five seconds ago. Itachi just slammed the door. That girl had disturbed his fluffy puffy purply happiness. She can't come in now."Nice place." The girl said. Itachi blinked. 'how the hell did she get inside?'

" Who. the hell. are you." Itachi glared, using his sharigan for extra effect, which still didn't work due to the fact that he was wearing a purple fluffy bathrobe that matched his nails perfectly. and he only had to kill 34234234 people to get it made.

"Me? I'm Lunar. " She sat on the couch, and picked up Itachi's bottle of nail polish.

"What's up with this? Fluff Puff Purple? ew. I perfer Sea shells that shine by the sea shore dotted with purple sparkly glitter made by the pretty purple monks of the purple palaces of the playful purple puppies that grow up to be large purple wolves that eat the pretty purple fish that swim around in the pretty purple lake that is connected to the pretty purple river that flows straight to the sparkly purple bay that is where the purple muscles eat the purple stuff and their shells become pretty and purple and then they get eaten and the pretty purple shells end up on the pretty purple shore where they sparkly by the pretty sparkly sea water. It's my favorite nail color." Lunar said.

"Me too!" Kisame held up that very shade of nail polish.

"Squee! Let me do your nails!" Lunar jumped up.

" Sure!" Kisame held out his hands. Itachi glared. 'How dare she insult MY Fluff Puff Purple Nail Polish?!'

"Itachi? Can you get some popcron for us?" Kisame asked.

"No." Itachi growled.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty Please?"

"No."

"Pretty Please with 23423 bottles of your nail polish on top?"

"No." Itachi said again. Kisame pouted.

" Don't worry Kisame! I'll get some!" Lunar produced a bowl of popcorn from who knows where.

"Thanks, un!" Kisame grabbed a handful of popcorn.

'OH SNAPPIDY SNAPS, SHE AN AUTHORESS!' Itachi realized. 'oh, I am so going to regret opening that door.'

"Itachi's mean." Kisame said.

"I know! He's just a big green meanie!" Lunar said cheerfully. Kisame looked up at Itachi, and almost chocked on popcorn because he started laughing. Itachi got this 'oh snaps i've been hit by authoress powers...' feeling, and ran to a mirror. He had been turned all shades of green.

-Somewhere in Destiny Islands Kingdom Hearts-

Sora heard a loud, painful shriek.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Sounds like someone lost his smexy." Riku answered, ingoring Sora's wtf look.

"And how do you know?"

-Back in the Base-

Kisame laughed. "Funny. When will that go away?"

"I dunno."Lunar asnwered. Kisame sweatdropped.

ff 2 weeks.

"How... the hell... did you... do that" a battered, bruised and beaten Itachi growled.

"I AM LUNAR, THE GREAT AUTHORESS!!!! duh." Lunar laughed.

"I. HATE. you." Itachi growled.

"I know Tachi-kun. I know." Lunar dissappeared, leaving the aktsutaki to hire 4 more therapists, simply to help them deal with the two weeks lunar had spent with them.

slashslashslashslashBOINGslashslashslashslashslashBOINGslash

Itachi: I still hate those two weeks.

Sasuke: What happened?

Itachi: -shudders- IT WAS TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.

Sasuke: Oo -scoots away slowly-

Angel: Poor, Poor Itachi.

Itachi: Where were you when she paid her visit?

Angel: I was vacationing in Barbados.

Itachi: ...

Angel: Such lovely weather those two weeks.

Itachi:...I hate you.

Angel: Sadly, I know.

Sasuke: What now?

Angel: Let's see if there are any questions.

First Question, is from Lone Kounouchi for Jiaraya.

How come you were the first choice for 5th hokage?

Jairaya: Well, I was a sanin, and they used the classic hokage selection ritual.

Angel: Classic Hokage Selection Ritual?

Jairaya: yeah...

Babblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabble

The council was at a loss. they REALLY needed a hokage. So they decided to use the Classic hokage Selection Ritual. They had to. There was no other choice. As dangerous as this ritual was, they had to do it.

After two days of preperation, fasting, strength training, speed training, and guard training, they believed they were ready. They wrote their wills, said goodbye to their families, gave offerings to thier ancestors, and cussed out the people they don't like.

Then they walked into the hokages office, walked out on to a balcony, picked up the sacred stone of the Classic Hokage Selection Ritual...and threw it out towards a crowd of shoppers where it hit and knocked out Jairaya.

"It looks like Jairaya will be our nomination for the 5th hokage." One of the council members said to another, who just nodded.

dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotSCRABBLEBOARDSdotdotdo

Angel: -sweatdrops- That's it?! that's how people selection the hokage nominations?!

Jairaya: yeah.

Angel:... Next question. Grapefruit Ninja's Little sister has some questions. First Question is for Itachi. How did you get the old man lines? besides getting old

Itachi: This was answered by a fanfic author.. Who, I don't remember. See, my nose was .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000002 mm off of being perfectly centered, so I got nose surgery, which left scars. Which make me look smexy.

Angel: ok. Her next question is for Kisame. How many times have you watched jaws?

Kisame: Oh, only about 2348912734890712389412394623892345234523452347589234562348972589273458123495712348957238957123846237224378561287462387468123756273846281735681273468721356782136578123561283756281375 times. That's it.

Angel: You've watched all the jaws movies that many times!!!!

Kisame: No, that was just the first movie!

Angel: OO um. itachi. she would like to know how the tap shoes are working.

Itachi: They're working great! thanks!

Angel: Now for Grapefruit Ninja's questions.

Orochimarou, How long does your tounge stretch?

Orochimarou: Let's find out. Kabuto! Stand here and hold my tounge!

Kabuto: -shudders- yes sir. -holds it-

Orochimarou: -starts running around the world.-

-Ten Days Later-

Orochimarou: -finishes rerolling tounge- Okay, 2349823748923748927133894291385612378461237846823756278946812735623475234895689123748902136478123568273468901237692378461238741678946 and a half miles.

Angel: ew. Next question is for everyone. What would you do if you had a lifetime supply of peanut butter?

Itachi: Trade it for a lifetime supply of nail polish.

Sasuke: Use it to kill Lunar, then Itachi.

Kakashi: Feed it to Pakkun and laugh at him.

Naruto: Trade it for a lifetime supply of ramen.

Kisame: Use it to prank people.

Neji: use it to soften my skin.

Tenten: Use it to de-gay Neji.

Naruto: You can de-gay Neji?

TenTen:no... -sniffles-

Neji: Hey! I'm not gay! I just have a feminine build.

Shikamarou: Use it to shut Ino up.

Ino: Use it to stick forehead girl to a wall so I have have Sasuke.

Sakura: Use it to stick Ino-pig to a wall so I can have Sasuke.

Choji: I'd eat it.

Orochimarou: I think both Kabuto and Sasuke know what I'd do with it.

Sasuke & Kabuto: -shudder-

Kabuto: I'd use it for medicinal purposes.

Angel: No one else is here. Next questions is everyone except Orochimarou.

OO

Sasuke: what is it?

Angel: um. Grapefruit Ninja Says, quote on quote : Everyone except the creepy snake man (AKA Martha): Feel my legs! They're smoothy smooth smooth!

Everyone: OO um. no thanks.

Angel: Nice name, Martha.

Orochimarou:SHUT UP.

Angel: REVIEW. WITH QUESTIONS.