12:24 am.

"Did you -" hiccup. "- hear that?" nothing. "Oliveeeeer? Listen to me. OLIVER."

A dial tone filled her ears. She kept the phone glued to the side of her head for a long time, so it felt, and listened. She listened to the long, strenuous ringing as it occupied her ear drums. To her, at that time, that ringing symbolized absolute nothingness. Her life, was nothing anymore. No one cared. All her hard work, all the honors courses she's taken, it was nothing now. Nothing seemed important anymore. But, the one that had seemed important - the one thing that kept her from losing her mind - he was now, also nothing. Just a long, annoying, nothingness ringing in her ears.

"I'm sorry, your call -" She flipped her phone shut once she heard the recorded voice of an operator. Hearing a voice, even if it was just a machine, made her realize there was still something in the world. Something she was missing. She hated thinking that there was still life going on around her. It made her feel lonely, sad, and pathetic. She liked to convince herself that everybody felt the way she did; It gave her comfort.

She felt a slight nudge in her side, and if she wasn't on the verge of passing out she might of recognized the nudge as a frantic shake, like you were to do to something going crazy, to get them to snap out of there state of mind. Lilly took a deep breath, and vanilla, beer, and nail polish filled her nostrils. Her mind went wild, as her eyes were shut, unable to open. It was Miley, she thought. It had to be Miley.

"Lilly, are you okay? Wake up, Lilly. Will someone help me?!"

Tears filled her eyes. Deep down she knew what was going on. She felt two arms wrap around her and lift her up, but she immediately fell back down. No one had come to help her, it was just Miley. She remembered a time when people would kill at the chance to help Lilly Truscott in need, to come to her rescue. Then she remembered right now, and how everything was so different. It was nothing. She was nothing.

--

10 Hours Ago.

If there was anyone she didn't want to talk to, it was her dad. What was he to her anyway? Did he even care about her, or love her like a father should? He was barely ever home. She often wondered if her mother and father were even in love. Why did they get married? She always saw her mother as a typical gold digger; A trophy wife. Her mom was beautiful, anyone could see that. Jake had no problem in mentioning it, and neither did their gardener. She loved her mom. She felt awful to think such things of her, but, she couldn't imagine anyone actually loving her father.

She wiped a small tear from her eye as she rushed into the house, doing all she could to avoid her father. He was sitting in his office, like he always was. His head shot up from his stack of papers when he saw Lilly rush by. Her heart rate was decreasing, she thought she had passed him without any suspicions.

"Lillian?" His deep, monotoned voice filled the air. It was snobbish, Lilly noticed. She could picture him right then; His face still down, not bothering to take his eyes away from his precious documents, as he called out her name. He was probably writing something, or sipping black coffee out of a five hundred dollar mug he bought in London.

She bit down on her lip hard. She had two options: To pretend she didn't hear him, and run up the stairs and cry into her pillow, or suck it up and talk to him. She knew she was going to have to take the latter. She had a sense that her father knew the way she felt about him. He may have been a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

She slowly walked towards his open office door, her heart rate increasing at every step she took. She timidly stood in front of the doorway, her hands clasped tightly, as if she were a little orphan asking for a bowl of soup. "Yes, dad?" To say the word 'dad' felt foreign to her, like she was speaking Spanish for the first time. It just didn't feel right leaving her mouth.

He was peering at her from the tops of his glasses, and like she guessed, sipping black coffee out of a really expensive mug. He pointed to the chair adjacent from himself and motioned for her to sit. She carefully did as she was told, watchful of her surroundings. She always felt uncomfortable in her father's office. To her, it felt like forbidden territory, as if she touched one thing it would be so completely noticeable that her father would punish her for trespassing.

He took a long sip of coffee, and set it neatly on top of a coaster. He was still staring at her. "Are you well?" He asked, and she felt like she was seeing a therapist. The way he talked was so professional, she wondered if he knew how to speak any other way.

She held back a sniffle, and she could feel the edges of her eyes damp with tears. Her throat burned as she tried to hold them back. She nodded. "I'm -" She swallowed, "- fine."

He didn't believe her, she knew. But, even if that was so, what would he do? "Are you positive, now?"

She nodded once more, "Yes."

He sighed heavily, and moved his documents off to the side. He leaned forward in his chair, and his muscles seemed to relax. His posture was more chill then uptight, and he had taken off his glasses. "Lilly," He sighed.

Her eyes slightly widened. He had always referred to her as Lillian. Never Lilly.

"I want you to know that I'm here. I will be for a while, and you can talk to me. I'm your father." It seemed so strange for her to hear him say that. She can't recall a time in her life when her father had been so open to her feelings. But, something else had struck her; Why would he be here a while? He was never here for too long. Buisness was his life.

"But," She let loose a deep, heavy sigh. "How long is long?"

He shut his eyes briefly, and clasped his hands together on top of his desk. "Long enough."

"Did - are you -"

He chuckled. A smile was apparent on his face, and just in seeing that made Lilly smile. She didn't know why, but, it was a relief to see someone like her father smile.

"No, everything's fine. I'm not fired, I'm not getting time cut down. I'm just taking a few months off." He smiled again, and as doing so made Lilly. She realized that his smile was infectious. Or maybe it was just the fact that he rarely ever smiled, and when he did, you don't take it for granted.

"That's great," She grinned. She half-sincerely meant it then. She wasn't sure if having her father around was good or bad.

He sighed, "Yes. I wanted more time with you and your mother. I realize I haven't been around a lot.. I missed a lot of you growing up, Lillian," He coughed. "I mean, Lilly." And there was that smile again.

"It's okay, really." She really didn't feel any sadness when her father wasn't around. She didn't know him well enough to feel sad about his non-presence in her life. She's used to it, ever since day one, she was used to it.

He shook his head, "No. It's not okay. I'll try my hardest to make it up to the both of you. But, until then, you go have fun."

Lilly stood up. She stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do, or say next. So she smiled. "Glad to have you around, dad." And she left. She felt the urge to hug him before she walked out, but didn't think it was the right moment. Maybe if he stuck to his word, and made up all his lost time, then, maybe, she'd hug him.

She walked up to her room. Her tears were dry now. The talk with her father oddly lifted her spirits, and she wasn't thinking about how Oliver didn't want her, how he rejected her just yesterday at the mall. She wasn't thinking of Jake and Jacqueline, kissing and laughing. She was now thinking of her father, and how she was so wrong. He cared. He had to care. He loved her mother, and he loved her. She could picture their family vacations now, and how there would be one more addition into them.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She hated the timing. She was at ease, and the feeling of a phone ruined it for her completely. She checked her caller I.D. : Miley.

"Hey, girl, hey!" Miley sounded cheerful, excited even.

Lilly managed to let out a giggle, "What's up, Miley?"

"So.." She took a deep breath. "You know Aidan Cross, obviously."

Of course she knew Aidan Cross. He was an attractive, popular senior who Miley once had a fling with while Lilly was going out with Jake. "Yeah.." She answered slowly.

"Well.. he just texted me randomly. He's having a Halloween party tonight," Lilly's head whirled.

"Wait. It's Halloween? Today?"

Miley laughed loudly on the other end, "Duh! Man, you're out of it."

Lilly, at that moment, felt so lost. It occurred to her how out of it she actually was. Miley could of told her it was December, and Lilly would of believed her. "Oh.. um, I don't have a costume. And.. well, I bet Jake will be there.."

"Lils! Who cares about him?! And we have time to get a costume!" Miley was now whining, and Lilly hated when anyone, not just Miley, whined.

She sighed. "I don't know.."

"I'm not going without you." She said sternly.

Lilly hated when Miley did that. She could tell how badly her friend wanted to go, and she didn't want to be the one to hold her back. And Lilly knew, that Miley would stick to her word and back out of Aidan Cross' Halloween party if she didn't go.

"Alright, fine." She agreed, well against her better judgment.

Miley squealed. "I'll be there in an hour, kay? We need costumes!"

--

Lilly was an Egyptian goddess for her Halloween costume. Honestly, she used this as an excuse to go over board with gold accessories and make-up. She loved gold, but too much, to her, seemed tacky. But this - this required that much gold. It was perfect.

Miley was Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz." Her outfit was cute. A little revealing, but so was Lilly's. It was Halloween, they could get away with it. Lilly was always one to take Halloween for granted. She dressed up as a slutty devil last year, and her and Sean Gaffney, a fellow member of her class, ended up making out on Miley's couch for hours.

She felt no desire for that this year, so underneath her super short costume, she wore a pair of tights. And to cover up her bulging cleavage, she wore a gold t-shirt underneath to keep it from showing. She ruined the costume, she knew, but she didn't care. She didn't need to impress anyone anymore.

"Miley," Lilly said in a warning tone as they approached Aidan's doorstep. The music was booming, and she wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors ended up calling the cops. She could see people through the windows, laughing and genuinely having fun. "Just so you know, I'm not drinking tonight."

Miley's face fell. She sighed impatiently and gave Lilly an annoyed looked. "Oh, come on. When was the last time we had a drink together? Just go for it."

Lilly rolled her eyes. She honestly had no desire to drink. She didn't want to be there in the first place, and leaving early was definitely on her agenda. She couldn't go home drunk. No way. "You go ahead, Miles. We need a responsible driver, anyways." I smirked. I knew I had won.

She sighed, "Fine." Lilly giggled;

Lilly - 1, Miley - 0.

Aidan engulfed Miley in a massive bear hug as they entered the house, "Heeeey, gorgeous." He greeted. Miley giggled into his chest. He was so much bigger then her. Lilly found it amusing to watch. When they had their little 'thing' last year Lilly would often watch them out of pure entertainment. Aidan was at least six feet tall, with a wide build. He was a football player, and even though everything about him was rough, his personality was laid back, playful, and sincerely sweet. Lilly had really rooted for them back then.

His attention on Miley suddenly directed towards Lilly, and his smile stayed constant. "Wassup, lil' Lils?" She couldn't help but laugh; He was drunk, she knew. He hugged her tightly, being a good host, then went back to Miley.

"You know, Miley, you look really -"

Lilly stopped listening at that point. She crossed her arms over her chest, and did nothing but people watch. So far, there was no sign of Jake or Jacqueline, which was a relief. She wasn't expecting to see Oliver there, not at all. But, oddly, her heart ached for it. She wanted to see him. Every flash of brown hair she saw, her heart sped up and she made she got a perfect view. It was never him. She was so desperate she even thought a blond-haired boy with freckles from her European History class was him. She was trying to convince herself so much, that her eyes were playing tricks on her.

She snapped out of her desperation when her phone began to go off. She dug through her purse, getting irritated as she saw the little glow from the phone but not the phone itself. She finally grabbed it, and answered without looking. "Hello?" She answered. "Mom? Hi. No, I'm at the party.. Oh. Really?" She felt herself draining in a way she couldn't explain. "Whatever. Bye," She hung up, dissapointment flooding her. Her father was leaving for Austria on the red-eye that night. She didn't get it. She thought he wanted to be there. She had just talked to him that evening. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to burst out of her chest.

She looked back at Miley one more time, who was flirting shamelessly with Aidan, and ran forward. She had never been to Aidan's house before; She didn't know where she was going. The sea of people she was shoving through just turned into blurs and she felt as she would collapse at any moment. Noises surrounded her, and she couldn't comprehend where they were coming from. All that was going through her mind was, Why does everything fucking suck?

"Give me that," She ripped a bottle of Absolute from Tommy Brown, a creepy sophomore who followed her around for the most part of last year. She didn't know why Tommy was there, nor did she care. He looked taken a back, but let her keep once he saw who she was. At least one person wasn't over her.

She chugged. And chugged. And chugged.

She sat on the couch, more like plopped, and laughed. For no reason at all, she laughed hysterically. Laughing at her pathetic life was better then crying over it. The alcohol was giving her a thrill, and the burning sensation it sent down her throat was exhilarating.

She watched as Miley danced with Aidan. She scoffed, she knew she was still into that boy. She watched them for a while and came to the conclusion that Miley was drunk. The two were facing each other, and it looked as if they were about to kiss.

Lilly's eyes widened and the word NO flashed into her mind like a brightly lit sign. She realized, then, that this wasn't last year. This wasn't when her and Miley had it all. This wasn't when she was with Jake, and when Miley was having a romance with a hot older boy. They didn't go to parties anymore. She didn't want Miley to make-out with Aidan. The name Kyle came into mind, and her heart sunk. She actually felt hot tears at the rim of her eye lids. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she had never felt so bad for someone in her entire life.

And then something else hit her. Maybe Miley wanted to be with Aidan. It was obviously apparent that Aidan wanted to be with her, and from watching Miley more closely - through all her smiles and laughs - it was apparent that she, too, wanted to be with Aidan as well. Tears were now freely falling down her face. Was it her fault? Was she making Miley unhappy, keeping her away from the world they were once a part of? The one that Miley isn't ready to let go of yet?

So she cried heavily. Sobs were escaping her mouth as she drank the bottle dry. She was shaking, and she slowly but surely took out her phone. She scrolled through her contacts, and looking at the names, the names of people she once knew, she almost puked. She deleted every one of them individually, only so she could keep one name.

Oliver, was the only one left. It was shining brightly in her face. She stared at it for what seemed like forever, comparing and contrasting. But, overall, she was drunk. She was going to do it either way. She clicked 'send.'

"Hello?" His voice was groggy, as if he'd been sleeping.

"O-Oliver?" She stuttered through her sobs.

"Lilly?" He said urgently. His grogginess was gone, and he seemed to be woken up immediately.

She sniffled, and wiped her years with the back of her sweat shirt. "Oliver.." She sighed, "I-I have to tell you this, okay? It's very, very important.. do you hear this?" She could tell she wasn't making much sense, but, it was the best she could do at that moment.

She heard him sigh. "Where are you?"

"Listen!" She sobbed. "I think.. I think that I love you."

"You're drunk." He retorted, his voice anything but compassionate.

"No! I mean whatever! Just, did you hear me? I LOVE YOU," She screamed into the phone this time, and other party-goers looked her way. They only looked for a second, though. No one cared about the life of Lilly Truscott anymore.

"Where are you? I'm gonna pick you up."

"NO!" She shouted. "I-I need to stay.. for Miley. She needs me here but she's with Aidan!"

He sighed impatiently. "So, you're at Aidan Cross' party, huh, Lilly? Nice."

She sobbed again, "I'm sorrryyyyyyy. Okay? I'm sorry! But I love you!"

The other end was nothing but silence, which brought it to here, to this. Miley brought her home, she guessed. That was the last she remembered, cause' after that, it was nothingness.

--

That was so much more depressing that I'd intended.

But, things just turn out that way..

Review?

Love,

Steph