"No Bella, I can't do that!" a familiar voice said, pained.
"You're not going to kill yourself now," Edward said angrily but I ignored the velvet voice and focused on the familiar voice I recognized as Jacob's.
"Please! Kill me, befor—before I turn, Jocab," I pleaded as the fires in my veins burned at me.
"B-Bella?" Jacob asked, and I opened my eyes, staring back at him, my eyes felt impossibly wide. His eyes stared me back with fear and worry.
"Do it, I can't... I can't," I begged through my pain, "become a vampire without him. My... my existence would mean nothing without him. Please--" I continued, wanting to be free of this horrible, burning pain. Death would deliver me from this. Death was better than this, at least, it would spare me from becoming a wretched person without the ones I loved.
"Bella, I'm right here with you," Edward said, trying to soothe me, but I continued to ignore it, begging Jacob. The delusions had to end now.
Jacob looked at someone and I noticed it was Sam, his face grave. My body continued to convulse against the two that held me down.
"Wh-what we do?" Jacob asked, his voice filled with conflicting misery. I realized he wanted to give me my wish, and one wanting to keep me alive, and one to protect the people of this county.
Sam's jaw clenched tightly, his eyes narrowed, studying me as my heart sped up a little as the fire raged on, spreading still as I writhed as much as I could.
"Let's take her somewhere... safe," Sam decided, looking at Jacob. "You remember that place we saved her from that bloodsucker?"
"Yes," Jacob replied, his voice strained and he picked me up, holding me tightly against the writhing body.
"That should be a safe place. Go, I will check with the others to makes sure the... leech is taken cared of," he said and ran off towards a billowing smoke I saw in the distance.
Jacob carried me through the woods as I continued to twist my body in every direction, flailing my arms and legs, trying to get away from the pain that would not die.
"Why won't you kill me?!" I screamed. "Please, I ca-can't take this!"
Jacob merely grounded his teeth, picking up the pace.
"Jacob!" I yelled, sobbing, "I'm going to be a vampire! A leech, Jacob! D-Do you realize that?! P-please, please kill me! I-I don't know if I can control myself!"
My face was streaking in tears, unable to get out of Jacob's arms as I tried to escape the raging fire. It seem as though the fire was tinted green in my mental picture, burning my flesh away. It was awful, more than awful, it was abominable and appalling of the fact that I was becoming one of them alone. I felt forsaken. Abandoned.
"I won't let you hurt anyone. We won't leave you," Jacob said resolutely.
I continued to sob, not seeing truth in his words. my legs and arms trembling with pain at the white-hot fire inside of me. Slowly turning every cell in my body into a freak of nature. A cold-blooded monster.
My face wrenched up even more tearfully, knowing that without Edward, without a family, my soon-to-be existence would be nothing. Merely an abnormality. I was fraught with fear at the thought of hurting my wolf friends, the last of people I could rely on. I gulped, trying to set the pain aside for the moment.
"I'm terrified of hurting you guys," I spoke. "Please end me before I hurt you."
Jacob's face ached with guilt, looking down at me in the eyes.
"I... I... we won't let you hurt us," Jacob said, slowing down to a walk.
I looked at the meadow in front of us, and I made an inarticulate sound of grief in my throat as the patch of grass in the woods brought up the memories of Edward, the wolves, Jacob and Laurent. Jacob walked a little farther in and then set me down on the grass carefully as my body continued its convulsing and twitching, yearning to escape the pain.
"Just kill me please, Jacob, I ca-cannot bear this!" I went on to beg. "It's going to last for three days, Jacob! Don't ma-make me suffer! I don't want us to be enemies!"
"Three days?" he asked softly, ignoring the last part. His face twisted with sadness as he sat next to me on the grass, holding my hand.
I continued to wail, wanting a way out of this world, a world away from Edward and the pain. I still screamed and groan with pain as Jacob, and soon, the other four joined and watched over me.
"Why won't you kill me?" I yelled at Sam who stood in front of me. I barely registered the rain on my face.
"Because you're a victim," he said, his eyes unreadable.
"I'm go-going to hurt people!"
"We won't allow it," Sam said.
"I'm going to hurt you guys!" I tried another tactic. Was it wrong of me to want the escape from this fire? The pain of of the inevitable of what's to come? Knowing that I will hurt them, knowing that I could hurt the people in Forks... What was the matter with them?!
Sam looked uncomfortable, shifting his feet to and fro. He looked at the others, then at Jacob who still sat next to me.
"We're going to announce the death of... Isabella Marie Swan," Sam said quietly, staring at me in the eyes and withdrew before I could even register what he had said.
I accepted it.
It was true, I was already dead to them, the pain inside of me, however, said otherwise. I felt very much alive. My heart beating rapidly against the green flames in my veins. I sobbed, wondering how Charlie and my mom was going to take the news of my death.
Slowly, almost without my notice, the fire began to burn even hotter, I couldn't imagine the flames getting worse. I must be reaching the temperature of a super nova. I no longer could think coherently, no longer able to think of anything else but my own distress. I had no reason to focus on anything but on the fire that raged in me.
After awhile, I began to think I had died and went to hell for the things I have done. For what, I was not sure yet.
I no longer was aware of my surroundings, or if my body continued to thrash about as though I was having a seizure. No longer aware of raindrops on my face, or the screams and whimpers I was emitting from my mouth. All my senses destroyed—or perhaps, focused all senses, my sense of smell, hearing, taste, touch on the fact that they were burning away. The fire was in my vision too, seeing only green flames, and the sound of its crackling fire. From the veins, the fire spread to my muscles, my organs, even deep within my own bones. I could not describe the taste of fire, not like I thought it should, charcoal, but something else. It did not taste bitter or sweet, but one that was a torturous sting of flavor.
Could such a pain exist in this world that enveloped me so completely? No, I vaguely knew it could only exist in a nonhuman world. I almost caught the thread of some coherent thought, that this affliction of pain was not part of the human plane. That thread vanished when the heatwave of the flames increased.
Would it ever stop? Can I ever see the darkness of the world that is unconsciousness? Spare me the pain, please! Anything but this horrible, burning pain running through this mortal, dying body of mine. How much longer will I have to be in this all consuming fire? Will it last for eternity, is that where I am now? Being punished for my crimes I could not remember? The fieriness of the flames must be beyond super nova now, why wasn't my mind being burned away, my skin and innards melting away, leaving with nothing to feel, to sense a thing?
What did I do to deserve this?!
The venom raged on in my body, turning each cell into something else. Painfully. The green flame kept climbing higher in temperature, not allowing any part of me to relax for a millisecond. I briefly wondered how long I had this fire run its course, when it would end. I could not remember how I got to this state. Nothing came to mind but a strange sense of myself drowning. Maybe I fell into a pool of fire by accident and can never come out again. Some inhuman fire. No mercy for the wicked, I thought. Yet, I tried to reason with this voice, that I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to deserve this.
Edward.
The word felt painful, igniting the fire to burn even more. Edward.
All that caused me was even more pain and I couldn't understand why.
Edward.
The word kept repeating itself in my mind, burning me ever so hotter, it seemed like some demon had planted that word in me, wanting to give me as much pain and torment as possible into me.
Stop it, please! Anything but Edward!
The fire ignored me and the flames increased its fury. What did I do to deserve this torment? I gave in to the pain, trying not to think anything but my coherent thoughts. The flames gladly consumed me, not letting up its burn.
Slowly, I couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but it did, I felt the raindrops on my flesh as the heat of the blaze began to cool, withdrawing from the fingertips and toes. Was the end near? My hope soared at the thought. Oh please let it end!
Then, the flame continued to fade, leaving me with cold digits.
The rain felt refreshing on my skin, against the flames that had burned me away for whoever knew how long. I heard something other than the crackling of the flames, they were screams and whimpers, and I realized a second later, it was my voice making those sounds. I shut up, grinding my teeth as the fire within my body moved away, collecting all the heat of the flame, I realized, into my heart. It was beating so rapidly, I thought hummingbirds had taken up residence in there.
I let out a whimper, shaking as the pain grew even more in my chest, specifically, my heart. The hammering of my heart was getting too much for me to bear. I knew the end was getting close. It had to be, so I waited it out. I was glad that my mind was back with me when I realized the end was close. It felt so long ago when the pain ruled my mind.
I arched my back as all of the fire concentrated on my heart now, beating faster than ever, trying to pound for all it's worth before it took that last fatal heart beat. I screamed as it became even more concentrated, more intense. It must be nearing the temperature of the sum of several million suns. I tried counting in my head, trying to pass the time faster, to end this pain. Then, the heart fluttered and gave out when the flames died without warning.