"Kiley," I said in the next morning, setting the spoon down into my bowl of cereal. I was long used to the disgusting taste and feel of human food now and for that, I was glad.
"Yes, Bella?" she asked, looking up from her magazine.
"I'm going to be taking my leave today," I said, "I need to start searching for my family. I am so grateful to you, I—I can never repay you."
"Oh," Kiley said, frowning as she closed the magazine and set it on the table. After a moment, she nodded in understanding. "Is that why... you were without a home?"
"Sort of, it's really complicated, I don't even know how to put it into words," I said. We had barely discussed about ourselves these past two months, only focusing on the present. Like shopping for ourselves and discussing topics concerning in the now, like the current political turmoil in the world. It really helped me to get up to speed about current affairs. I was never out of questions and she was happy to answer. I often used the internet to cover any missing years I skipped in the night as Kiley slept.
"I understand, I am very glad to be able to care for you, it's the least I could do after... after my husband and daughter died. In a way, you reminded me of my daughter, so I am happy to do something for you."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear..." I said, saddened by Kiley's past. I finally learned the truth for why she took me in. I had saw pictures around the house of a man and a girl about twelve with Kiley, and wondered where they were. I thought they were divorced. It made sense, why I heard cries at night most nights when I first came here, but not as often these days.
"It's all right, it actually happened... a few days before you showed up. I guess giving you a roof over your head, clothes to give and food to eat, I was able to grieve in my own way," Kiley said, sipping her coffee.
I nodded mutedly, unsure what to say.
"I really hope for the best for you," I murmured.
"As do I, for you. I hope you can find your family soon," Kiley said with a soft smile.
Without another word, I took my bowl and her dishes to the sink and washed them.
"When will you leave?" she asked, dumping the rest of the coffee into the sink and gave it to me for washing.
"Soon... after this," was my reply. I had warned her that I might announce my departure suddenly when I first came to stay with Kiley. She didn't appear surprised, but a little sad.
"So soon? I understand... Let me give you some money so you can continue on your trip," she said, and went to get her purse.
"Oh no, I couldn't," I began and she cut me off.
"Please let me give you one last thing, it is my own way of grieving, you know," she said, leaving the room.
With a silent sigh, I nodded as I set the clean dishes on a rack, dried my hands and turned to her when she returned with an envelope and handed it to me. It was thick.
"Whenever I am down, I need to help someone else," she continued her explanation. "Now, I knew you would leave sometime soon, so I was prepared," she said as I counted the money. It was five hundred dollars.
"Kiley! This is too much," I said, looking up and saw her pulling a bag out of a cupboard under the stairs.
"And these clothes for your trip as well, please take these," she said, handing me the black duffel bag.
Smiling gratefully, I accepted the bag and then gave her a heartwarming hug.
"I will never forget you," I promised, knowing that my perfect vampire memory would remember her long after her life passed away.
"Bye Bella," she said with a smile, "I do hope you find your family."
"Me too... You have no idea how long I have waited—how I searched for them... Thank you, bye Kiley." I said then left the kitchen to the side door and with a back wave, I left the property. I stuck the money into my pocket, the bag over my left shoulder.
It was time to find the Cullens, I was finally completely prepared to truly start my search for them.
I took out the map from the other pocket, already knowing which direction to go as I walked towards a line of trees. Checking my location and how far I would need to travel, I nodded to myself, noting the distance. It would probably take me a little more than half a day, at easy pace.
Sticking the map of Washington back into my pocket, I ran, hoping Edward did not mean those words all those years ago. Saying that he didn't want me, didn't love me. It had to be a lie. It had to be. That was the sole reason why I am searching them out now, to find out if the words Edward said were true or not. If they were not, then... I probably would have to find a way to end my existence. Especially if the Cullens were also not willing to take me back in. I was literally nothing without them after all.
As these thoughts ran through my mind, wondering about what I would say to them, would I beg them to take me back? I would get on my knees and beg like a dog if I had to. Which reminded me of the werewolves and briefly wondered if they would show up when I did. I hoped so, there was so much I needed to know, like why they abandoned me in the meadow when I... I shook my head at the wandering thoughts, not wanting to feel pain in my chest. It had been long since numbed over, healing wrong, healing incorrectly by time. I knew that all I needed was one simple thought or anything, would just tear that pink, raw scar open in my emotional heart, and there was really no telling what I would do.
Go insane, probably.
Up ahead, I saw a bear lounging around on the forest floor and decided to hunt. It was better to be prepared for anything that might take place today. After I emptied the contents in my stomach of course.
Soon, I arrived in Forks downtown that afternoon and stopped near a Gap store. I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall, trying to sniff out for any vampires. I was not sure how they smelled, but I hoped they would smell differently. Smelling nothing out of ordinary. I frowned and decided to go to the place where I knew I had to check. I ran alongside the familiar road that led to their house, the road leading to the house hardly changed, just a bit overgrown. At the end of the road, I stopped. The house from the outside looked almost the same, just a little worn down, leaves gathering in corners, composing. Abandoned. I was almost sure the inside was the same, if the broken glass windows I saw said anything.
I wondered if Alice had seen me yet, and I hoped she did. If she saw me and didn't meet me here, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I thought about going to Denali and shook my head, why would Cullens, or even the coven there, stay there all these years? Didn't they need to be constantly on the move, avoid suspicion from humans when they did not age? Shaking my head of the pondering questions, I went inside, hoping to find any sort of clues. I was right in my assessment from the outside, the leaves and other things had invaded the house. It looked more like what would a person find in a vampire home. Although the colors still look a bit cheerful, only slightly worn away by time. After awhile, basking in the memories of my once human mind as I looked around. Sighing, I went to work, searching for the clues of where they may have moved on to. No matter how small the clues were.
Nothing. I searched for hours, and I found nothing. Then I heard steps from outside the mansion, making way to the house, cautiously. I froze, wondering who was coming. Could it be one of the Cullens? I desperately hoped so; then my face fell when I heard a heart beat, beating rapidly as though the person was nervous. I turned to face the front doors from the kitchen, hidden in the shadows and held my breath, uneasy of what I was about to face.