Since I got so many INCREDIBLE reviews for the first one (most of which were from Twilight fans) I decided to continue.
Here is a few ways to annoy Edward Disco-Ball Cullen.
The next few chapters might be about other characters.
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Tell him that he's a fictional character.
Tell him that only gay vampires sparkle.
Kick him really hard with steel-toed boots and tell him it didn't hurt. Claim that he's just weak.
Tell him that Jacob is the only real character in the entire series and that's exactly why everyone likes him better.
Tell him that over protectiveness is NOT, in any way shape or form, a flaw.
Repeatedly ask him if he ever gets uncomfortable when Bella gets her period.
Repeatedly ask him if he ever got his period.
Tell him that Carlisle is just gay, and he accidentally bit him during mating season.
Tell him that Bella is the only girl who deserves him. When he says thanks, say that it's because Bella's the only girl stupid enough to talk to him.
Say that lions eat lamb kabobs made out of stupid lambs.
Repeatedly poke him and ask why he isn't made out of cookies.
Ask to hang him up for a disco dance.
Ask why the HELL he decided to have bodily fluids the day Bella decided she wanted to have sex.
Tell him that the dolphins on the honeymoon island were eying him constantly.
Don't shower for a year (role in mud, garbage, crap, etc, as much as possible) and ask him if it hurts him most.
Ask him why Bella doesn't have a brain.
Ask him why his creator is a thesaurus rapist.
Tell him the deer don't like being eaten.
Tell him that 'vegetarianism' only applies to people who actually eat VEGETABLES.
Tell him that his version of vegetarianism goes against all the vegetarians who ever lived. Ever.
Tell him the only reason people read the books are because of him. When he says thanks, whisper really fast 'you should have learned, boy' and then tell him that he's gay.