"I could never hate you, I brought this on myself, Jake," I mumbled, "I took that jump."
"If I could have been only a bit faster... If I had realized it sooner..."
"Realized what?" I asked, a bit confused. I looked at him as he started explaining.
"That vampires can swim, and could have gotten to you by water, and I thought... of how you always walked on the beach. I tried to hurry back to you," he said, shaking his head as he remembered that day.
We sat there, neither willing to talk more about what happened.
"Where are the others?" I asked, wondering about the rest of his pack.
"They're all still around, each with their own families," he answered. "It's strange.."
"Hm?"
"How, after all these years, we have our own families, we aged... and yet, you haven't changed a bit. What have you been doing?" he asked, looking at me in the eyes with curiosity.
"Controlling myself, I couldn't... ever trust myself after that day. I was so terrified, Jake. I had no one, I couldn't even come to you, for fear of running into anyone... else. I had to flee," I said, my voice breaking again.
"Bells, oh Bells," he pulled me in for another tight hug. "So you've been... all alone?"
"Until maybe a year ago or so, maybe six months. I never know these days," I answered, trying to calm myself down.
"And...?" he pressed, wondering about how my control was.
"Like I said, Jacob, I never took another life since his," I replied. Jacob sighed with a relief, rocking back and forth with me.
"I can't imagine how... lonely..."
"I survived," I said simply, not allowing him to finish the sentence. "I have all eternity, I can wait. Forty... years really is nothing. I will wait a century or two, or a dozen if I have to, no matter how long it takes me to find them. I need answers."
He stared at me, my eyes burning with resolve in his eye reflections.
"I suppose you are right, Bella, but I hope, for yours' and theirs' sake, you will find each other soon," Jacob said, still rocking us. "I know I can never make you happy. B-but they can, I know they can and it doesn't make me happy."
"...You still love me," I stated, feeling guilty.
"I do," he confirmed with a small smile. "I never stopped, and... neither has he."
I turned away from his hug, closing my eyes. He still loves me?! How... I don't understand... I bit the bottom of my lip in thought, ignoring the awful stench in the air as I held on to Jacob. I really need to find them soon.
"Even if that's true, I still need to hear him say it, I need to know how much they... Otherwise, none of this... existence has any meaning," I said, trying to find the right words.
"But you're happy?" I asked, looking at Jacob in the eyes.
"I am now, with my family," he replied with a fond smile in his voice, causing me to look at him. Staring at him for a bit and saw the truth, I felt reassured.
"Good, and please keep it that way. I think I will... start looking again," I said, not moving to get up. Jacob held me in a grip, tightening awkwardly.
"You're leaving?"
"I have to, Jake, I have to find them as soon as possible," I said, "I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to be alone, even if I do have to wait... forever." I swallowed thickly.
"Will you keep in touch?" he asked, shifting slightly and took out a phone.
"Yeah, of course, but, I don't have a cell phone. Being in the wilderness these past few decades has... left me with some disadvantages," I said with a wry smile.
Jacob chuckled then tucked the phone back into his pocket. "Then, will you call if I tell you my number?" I nodded and he told me his number and I memorized it.
We sat there for another few minutes in silence, not wanting the moment to end. The phone rang then and Jacob answered it a minute later.
"Hello?" Jacob answered, "Oh hey Dawn... oh, sure, I'll grab some on the way. See you soon."
He hung up, then with a sad smile, he looked at me.
"I guess that's our cue," I said jokingly.
"Sure, sure," he said with a small grin and we untangled ourselves and got up. "I'll... see you around?"
"Yeah, bye Jacob, I love you," I said, hugging him for the last time.
"I love you more than you do me," he said with a half grin and I laughed. We pulled away and Jacob left the house, leaving me here alone again. Neither of us weren't big on good byes.
I felt a bit better, better than in decades. I let a smile grow on my face as I left the mansion, deciding to start searching in Denali, Alaska. I hoped Alice could see me and then I stopped walking at the thought, standing at the last step of the stairs, eyes wide.
If they are still... I thought to myself, and shook my head, realizing that maybe staying here might bring them to me. Grinning at my decision, Jacob would be happy to hear that too. I looked around, staring at the house with a new perspective. It was going to be my new home. I went back inside and studied my new living areas and frowned. The place needed some serious cleaning.
I went to a broom closet near the kitchen, looking for a broomstick and was rewarded with an old one. The bristles looked ancient, but it would have to do for now, getting all the main dirt and debris out of the house. I started at the top floor, figuring that all of the debris would be collected into a single area on the first floor. I paused at Edward's room, wondering if I should start there.
Well, no like the present, I thought and entered his room. It was completely empty, nothing was here, no CDs ruling the side of the wall, no black couch, nothing. Slightly unnerved, I began to work, wishing the dust would settle quicker when swept, so everything could be done in five minutes. Unfortunately, debris needed time for them to settle once disturbed and not fly all over the place. Yes, this was going to take time.
An hour and half an hour later, I finally reached the steps of stairs to the first floor, the pile I amassed, was huge. I looked over the railing to first floor from where I was and sighed, the mess was even bigger. I swept the pile down the stairs, watching it all float down the steps.
I heard several pairs of footsteps from the outside and stopped moving, frozen to the spot as I listened. They were approaching, and with heartbeats, ruling Cullens out. I looked outside and it was nearly dusk and looked back, watching the front doors. Then came through Jacob and several others, looking surprised to see me.
"Bella?" Jacob asked, the others studying me.
"Hi Jacob, I decided to stay," I said with a grin, "hope you don't mind."
"I don't, that's great," Jacob said, grinning back.
I looked over the others, frowning as I took in their faces, they looked awfully familiar.
"Oh! Sam, Paul, right?" I asked, studying their features and they relaxed a bit at my words.
"Yeah, hey Bella," Sam said, looking at the mess I was sweeping down the stairs. "Cleaning?"
"Right, I figured that since they're looking for me, I'll wait here," I explained, "since Alice can see the future. I just don't know why she hasn't come yet..."
Sam looked at Jacob, as though to accuse him of something. Jacob shook his head to shake off the accusation.
"Bella, we haven't heard them in ten years," Jacob said, looking back at me. "Something... must have happened. We're not sure what. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."
I stopped breathing, trying to recall any part of our conversation that somehow hinted at this. He had said they hadn't heard from them in awhile, but not ten years.
"You realize I was about to go off searching for them, without that thought in mind?" I said heatedly. The three backed away a bit at my reaction. "Never mind that, it doesn't matter," I said, shaking my head and continued my chore. "I'm still waiting for them."
"All right," Sam said after a minute, making sure I wasn't to go snapping at their throats. "Well, so long you stick to your diet, we all should be fine."
I nodded at this with a grim smile, "I know, I lived with a human for two months. She smelled nice, but I was able to control the monster in me."
They froze for a bit, appearing a bit green and then Jacob relaxed. "Well, that's good to hear then. We have something else to tell you..."
"What is it?" I asked, going back to work on the stairs.
"We realized why Alice hadn't seen you sooner back then, and it would affect if they come now," Jacob said, "She can't see future when... we are in the picture."
I stopped sweeping, looking at them with a confused look.
"What he means," Sam said, "is because we're werewolves, she can's see anything. Only when we're not around, she can see the future."
I blinked at the revelation, realizing why Alice hadn't seen me until I killed Charlie. I slowly nodded in comprehension.
"I see... so, I guess we shouldn't see each other too much?" I asked.
"I guess," Jacob said with a frown. "We came here because we sensed the... vampires were still around. When I came earlier, I thought..."
"In your human forms?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.
Jacob grinned sheepishly, "Well, we wanted to have a chance to talk with whoever was in the area before we attacked. Just to make sure we weren't attacking you or the Cullens. And because I phase the fastest, I'm left with that duty, most of the time."
"Oh, I see," I said, nodding with a small smile. "Then I'm glad for that small measure."
"It really is good to see you again," Sam said with a grin. "He told me you haven't gone after anyone else."
"I am too, thanks for your support. I can only imagine how taxing it was for you to cooperate with vampires," I said.
Sam merely chuckled and nodded, "You've no idea. I guess we had to stop being natural enemies and get past that. It's modern day after all, history should be put behind us and move on. Learn to cooperate."
"Yeah, I can understand that," I said as I finished sweeping down the stairs and stood several yards away from where they stood. "So, no other vampires have ever come here?"
"We've run into several over the years," Paul said, speaking up for the first time. "But because of our approach, we've managed to avoid any fights and they respected us. So, they left this area alone. They didn't want to fight either. They also know that this area is reserved for Cullens."
"Like the Voltouri," I murmured, remembering what Edward said about them. She saw incomprehension on their faces and I elaborated. "They're like the royal family of the vampire world. The city they live in is the safest in the world from vampire attacks."
"Ah, I see, yeah, I guess it's like that here," Sam said. "Helps that there are two groups here that are against hunting them," he said with a grin and I smiled back. "Well, I guess we'll leave you alone so Alice can see you where you are. Oh, and by the way, because of what happened, Cullens and I decided to change the terms of the treaty."
"Really?" I asked as I felt anxious at the announcement, wondering what part of the treaty they changed.
Here's my first official author's note that should be meant for blogs. I don't keep one right now, so I figure I want to discuss two—but related—things just to get it out there.
I've been in other fandoms and none of them have been so plagued with author notes inside of stories as Twilight fandom, it seems like half the stories I read contains them.
I want to ask Why? Why in the world do you want to ruin your own stories?! Of course, I can answer my own question since I know several reasons for doing so. But if you must comment on something in the middle of the story, do a footnote instead. Like [1], [2], etc. If readers care about what you say, they can read the author notes for themselves. If they don't, they won't. In fact, I never bother with them, as you can see the lack of them in this story so far.
One other thing I've noticed lately is the laziness of describing clothes, and posting links to pictures in the profile. That, in itself, is the epitome of laziness in writing. If you want to dress the characters, don't resort to that. See it as a challenge and get better at writing. Or don't bother at all.
Well, thanks for reading! I hope this will better your stories if you write one. :]